Jue put on a scrutinizing gaze and asked, "What did you do after you left me on Friday?"
Bai Sheng said "ah?" Ling Chennan asked again: "How did you get home?"
Bai Sheng opened his mouth slightly, his expression was very blank. Ling Chennan said: "I drove you back, remember?"
Bai Sheng's pupils dilated a little, but it was only for a short moment, and he was genuinely surprised.
Ling Chennan: "Still holding hands and singing..."
Bai Sheng: "What?"
Ling Chennan said: "You hold me and don't let go, and cry when you let go."
Bai Sheng was completely dumbfounded, Ling Chennan asked: "You don't remember anything?"
Bai Cheng didn't nod or shake his head, but just stared blankly, faltering: "I... what... I..."
Ling Chennan interrupted him: "Bai Sheng, is there anything you want to tell me?"
Bai Sheng moved his lips, and asked nonchalantly, "What, what do you mean?" Then he bit his lip and looked around with a trace of panic on his face, but this was different from the way he was crying in fear last week. What an indescribable difference.
Ling Chennan said: "When you were here last Friday, your mood was not stable, we didn't go to play, and then I took you home, I took you upstairs, into your house, and..." He intentionally After a pause, he said, "I entered your bedroom."
Bai Sheng was no longer calm, he stood up abruptly, the stool flipped back and made a dull sound on the carpet.
Ling Chennan stared closely at his eyes, trying to find signs of madness— Bai Sheng hesitated for half a second, turned his head and wanted to run, so he rushed up and passed him with two big strides, and slammed the door of the office with his back to it.
Bai Sheng turned around anxiously, like a wild deer that had strayed into a trap, crying: "Doctor..."
Ling Chennan was a little afraid that he would have another attack, but he still forced himself to say calmly: "I'm here, you calm down first, I haven't said anything yet."
Bai Sheng was extremely nervous, but for the time being he couldn't see any aggressiveness, Ling Chennan's heart was beating fast, he boldly took a step towards him, stretched out his hand and said, "Come here a little bit."
Bai Sheng turned his head to look at his outstretched hand, a little confused, and after thinking about it, he stretched out his hand and held him vaguely, instead of holding him tightly like last week. Ling Chennan took him to the sofa and sat down next to him.
Bai Cheng moved aside calmly, grabbed a cushion and tucked it in his arms.
From a clingy animal to a fearful animal again, Ling Chennan thought.
He asked: "You don't know that I entered your house? How is it possible? You were in the living room at that time."
Bai Sheng lowered his eyes, carefully picking at the tassels on the side of the cushion, Ling Chennan asked again: "Are you going to tell me that you lost your memory? You don't remember what happened? Then do you remember that you attacked me?"
Bai Sheng suddenly looked up at him, extremely surprised: "What? I really... I thought..." He spoke incoherently: "Sometimes I have some hallucinations, I don't think it's real..."
Ling Chennan narrowed his eyes and asked, "Illusion? What kind of illusion?"
[Bai Sheng's Fifth Story·Distortion]
[When did you start losing your memory
At first you didn't know it was amnesia, but you just couldn't sleep all the time. It was difficult for you to notice the passage of time when the day and night were turned upside down, and you often couldn't tell whether it was a dream or waking up.
You are in a trance, and you don’t know day and night. Sometimes, you walk into a small park full of sunshine. The fountain reflects a rainbow in the sun, and the cool water mist sprinkles on you, surrounded by passers-by with blurred faces. Laughing, but also seems to be silent.
So you wake up, and you find yourself in a dark room, with no daylight outside the shutters, and everything is just an illusion.
Sometimes you also dream, you dream that you go to a place that you would not normally go to, and you meet someone you have never met before. In your dream, you are no longer that annoying person who is always trembling with fear, you are very confident, a bit like you The self in memory is different, you seem to be very irritable, with countless anger and hatred that need to be vented - you are too rational when you are awake, but you don't have to in your dreams. You don't have to care about the law, you can care about human relations, and you can be confident and bold to be dissatisfied with the world.
Then you wake up with a start, only to realize that it might not have been a dream at all - you're standing on a completely strange street surrounded by a group of complete strangers talking to you and calling your name, except it's not you name.
Am I sleepwalking? Am I still awake? am I crazy? you ask yourself.
Then you start to doubt, doubt everything, because you find it more and more difficult to remember the past, you can't cheer up, you can't pick up a paintbrush, you can't even put on a decent smile.
Am I really who I think I am? Is my name really Bai Sheng
Finally you ask yourself this.]
After Ling Chennan finished listening, he was silent for a while before asking: "Does this happen often? Amnesia."
Bai Cheng frowned, then shook his head very slowly: "It should... no."
Maybe he himself can't tell the difference, Ling Chennan thought, after hearing what he said, it seems more like a symptom of multiple personality, but he is not an expert in this field, so he can't make a conclusion.
Besides... as much as I try to be impartial and objective, the situation has become very personal.
Ling Chennan: "Then let's talk about the wall in your bedroom."
Bai Sheng, who had already calmed down, became stiff again in an instant, and he stammered: "Doctor... I..."
Ling Chennan asked: "Are you stalking me? You are stalking me, right? Those photos are not taken while sleepwalking, I think the composition is quite professional."
Bai Sheng lowered his head, and finally whispered, "I'm sorry."
Ling Chennan: "What else?"
The other party raised his face and looked at him eagerly and seriously: "I, I won't be like this in the future, doctor, I'm sorry."
Ling Chennan tapped his knee with his finger: "The reason, I'll ask the reason."
Bai Sheng immediately put his legs together, and sat upright like a primary school student trying to answer a teacher's question: "I... I am, I am just a little scared, not afraid of you, doctor! It's just... I know it's stupid, I just searched online That's all, I know I'm in a bad state, but the online consultations are not very reliable, and then... Then I accidentally saw a video of a doctor's lecture, a counseling course in a school, and then found that small online question-and-answer forum, The doctor also answered... Later, I didn't mean it, I just..." He said with difficulty: "I just really want to trust the doctor."
Ling Chennan was speechless for a moment—he was the only one who tried hard to convince the guests to believe in him all the time, and no guest ever took the initiative to say that he tried hard to believe him.
Bai Sheng misunderstood his silence, and said sadly: "I also know this is unhealthy, something is wrong, I'm really really sorry, I know it's all an excuse but... I don't have any friends now, the doctor can accompany me to eat and play basketball I'm really, really super happy, and I know you're not obliged to do these things, but... I... Anyway, I've known you for a long time before you knew me."
Ling Chennan slowly opened his mouth, but Bai Sheng interrupted him anxiously, as if he was afraid that he would say something terrible: "I! I'm not making excuses for my behavior! I'm really sorry! Please don't let me, doctor. Drive me away! I won't follow you in the future, I'll get rid of those photos at home really! Don't want me... "
Ling Chennan said: "I understand what you said, but..."
When Bai Sheng heard the word "but", his face was full of heartbreak, his chest heaved and he muttered in a low voice: "No doctor, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry..."
But your illness seems to be beyond the scope of my consultation.
Ling Chennan has been unable to say the second half of the sentence—multiple personality experts are very rare, and considering Bai Sheng's current situation, it is probably difficult for him to establish contact with other people in a short period of time. , the trust building between the two of them in the past few months has been wasted.
What's more, it's hard to say whether it has multiple personalities.
Ling Chen Nan's face is calm but his mind is racing - there are currently three possibilities:
If it is really multiple personalities, then the fact that Bai Sheng, the main character, has lost some memories and described the events incompletely is a good explanation—the irritable perpetrator and the silent person are all other personalities, The emergence of these personalities may be due to the injury caused by Shen Yinchuan's imprisonment, or it may be due to other reasons.
Ling Chennan himself is more inclined to the second guess—Shen Yinchuan’s violence against him has indeed happened, and he cannot digest the aftereffects of these injuries, so he strongly reflects this psychology of being spied on to his therapist, that is, himself. , without seeing the possibility of establishing a normal relationship, choose to repay this emotion in a deformed way, so stalking and trying to hurt yourself.
But this situation is not inconsistent with multiple personalities, Ling Chennan thought again, the repressed and insecure one may be the main personality, while the violent and irritable ones are other personalities.
Ling Chennan felt that this week had passed too long, and his brain started to run short, and he felt very tired.
He looked at Bai Sheng's downcast look in front of him, and he didn't want to believe the last possibility—whether Shen Yinchuan committed violence or was buried alive, it might all be just one of his morbid fantasies, none of this has happened yet, and he is the target .
But this doesn't explain why the evidence of stalking will be seen by myself...
No, maybe it's the sub-personality that fantasizes about violence, and Bai Sheng confuses this strong desire for a past.