Danny.
Kuze thought about the name. During the daytime conflict, the cat said it was its name. That was the first time Kuze realized that cats had names.
Of course cats can have names. The cat that the senior sister in the lab raised that scratched him was called KQ, Killer Queen. Because it is fierce. Since the cat can be called KQ, there is no problem calling it Danny. It's all cat names.
— No, there is still something different.
Dan - Ni.
DANNY.
Kuze chewed the name over and over again. Where is the difference? I don't know, but he felt a sting in his heart as he read Danny. As if it wasn't a common name, but a magic spell. Huh—and then an invisible magic arrow would fly out of the window and pierce his heart.
Starting from the heart, what about the pain that spreads to the eyes, ears, mouth and nose, and to the brain-blood-brain barrier? Why did it fail? What the hell was rampaging through his body? Kuze's heart was beating fast, but his hands and feet were cold. Standing in the shadows by the window, he saw the setting sun sink into the mountains. His cat was sitting under his window, his feet curled up on the ladder, his shoulders shrunken slightly, and the little one looked so lonely.
Is that his cat? Kuze thought. Why did he let his cat become like this? His cat was supposed to be proud, willful, innocent, and wanton... Even if his cat was lying on the sofa, there was still a blazing light in his eyes, and sometimes it even made him feel dazzling.
The phone rang from behind Kuze. It was the cat's lawyer who called again. He didn't pick it up and waited quietly for the ringtone to switch to automatic answering. He knew his cat was going to do something big. That thing was difficult, but the cat demanded justice, so he replaced all laziness with firmness, and all casualness with persistence. The cat worked so hard, so Kuze also had some hope. He wants to be rewarded for what is right and punished for what is wrong. He wants his cat to succeed.
It was getting dark and he kept looking at his cat.
Danny spent a lot of time thinking.
Most people don't think how comprehensive a male prostitute can think, but Danny is actually pretty good at it. He always makes a decision after careful consideration:
At the age of 15, after his aunt died, Danny thought about it all night and decided not to go to the orphanage or accept the caller's invitation. He went to the restaurant where he usually ordered meals and asked for a part-time job; at the age of 18, half a month after Danny got his first official job, the plague and shutdown orders followed, the restaurant closed, and he was completely unemployed. Danny thought about it for two whole weeks, and decided to connect the operator and switch to the current line; at the age of 21, that is, two months ago, Danny was in a coma next to an overturned car in the snow. The suspected kidnapper, after thinking for three hours, decided to believe him.
Danny always picks the best of the worst options.
However, at this moment, Danny is not so confident. He has been thinking for a long time, but dare not make any decision.
His first thought was how far he could accept a doctor. Danny sometimes thinks that maybe he doesn't love the doctor more than the doctor loves him, so he can't accept the doctor's pampering on the cat. Maybe he should go crazy with the doctor—Danny thought about it at one point, but he knew that wouldn't work either. Now, Danny is in love, willing to love the doctor without limit, but how long can he last? He didn't want the ending to be two curved bearings, hating each other for bending his back.
He then wondered how far the doctor could submit to him. The doctor spoiled Danny unprincipally. The spoil was too much on the one hand, but not enough on the other. The doctor's connivance with Danny was not enough to sustain him in the past suffering. Danny's actions had failed, and he couldn't think of a better way to wake up the doctor—especially if the doctor had woken up and just wouldn't face it. He couldn't do more in this regard.
Danny's time is limited, and procrastination is not an option for him. The attempted murder had better have Danny himself testify, but before that, Danny had to travel to Florida. He had to meet with a lawyer to decide how to file a case with the police and how to sue. Danny might be able to defer a final decision on the doctor until after the trial, but he better figure out what to do with his trip to Florida sooner rather than later.
… so annoying. Danny thought. He's only in his early twenties, and he should be talking about the kind of love that stays up all night, taking drugs, and fighting three rounds in his own barn or by the monastery lake, instead of thinking about how to heal his sweetheart's psychological trauma. Can't they just do it hysterically
Compared to Danny, Kuze was much calmer. When the doctor walked slowly down the stairs the next day, Danny had just woken up and was lying on the sofa in a daze. He was startled when he saw the doctor and almost suspected that he was hallucinating from a lack of sleep. The doctor was dressed as usual, and his beard and short hair were just as usual. Except for a scarred tooth mark on his lower lip, he couldn't see any traces from yesterday, as if those joys and disputes had never happened.
Kuze greeted Danny as usual. Danny froze, looking at him suspiciously.
Kuze didn't care about Danny's reaction. He took out his cell phone, handed it to Danny, and said the lawyer called again. Apparently, Kuze still didn't answer the phone, but this time the auto answering record recorded a message. Danny took the phone from Kuze's hand, and the finger-to-finger touch brought a strong sense of unreality. He had embraced so fervently yesterday... Danny was in a trance for a moment, lowered his head, and turned his attention to the message.
The content of the message is that the lawyer confirms the pre-court meeting arrangement with Danny. There were not many time periods for Danny to choose from, so he took a piece of paper and wrote down a few time points.
"It's court time?" the doctor asked beside him. He was quite concerned about it.
Danny didn't avoid the doctor when he listened to the message, and their conversation was meowing in the doctor's ear anyway. Danny didn't expect him to understand. He looked up at the doctor in surprise, who pointed to the page in his hand, and Danny realized he was thinking too much. He laughed inwardly at his naive optimism.
"Not so fast, this time to see a lawyer." Danny said. He hesitated, then added, "In Florida."
He waited, not sure what to expect. Maybe he wants the doctor to ask where Florida is, which at least shows the doctor's interest in the outside world; or maybe he wants the doctor to realize that he's going far away. But the doctor just nodded and said nothing.
Danny is disappointed.
He writes and draws on paper, counts the time it takes to get from here to Florida, and the time the lawyer takes to sort out the materials. After a while, Danny circled a time on the paper. He plans to meet with a lawyer in three weeks, neither too soon nor too late. He started using the doctor's cell phone to reply to the lawyer's letters. Before he could finish typing a line, Danny suddenly felt a chill on his cheeks, and the doctor reached out and stroked it. The pulp of his index finger brushed under Danny's eyes.
Danny was startled, remembering that he stayed up all night yesterday. He had just woken up and had not looked in the mirror, but he must have been sleepy, with dark bags under his eyes, haggard and pathetic. On the other hand, the doctor is clean and tidy, like a decent passerby looking down at a stray cat in the mud. Danny suddenly became irritable. He turned his head away and knocked off the doctor's hand. The doctor looked at him in amazement.
For a while, no one spoke. The atmosphere was awkward like a bird wandering around the leaves of the beehive hanging in confusion.
What is this for? Danny thought. Neither of them is wrong and shouldn't punish each other like this. That makes no sense and makes no sense. He sighed silently in the bottom of his heart, reached out to hold the doctor's wrist, and gently rubbed the place where he slapped with his fingertips as a silent apology.
But Danny still didn't say anything. All words faded, and the sense of urgency to hear and understand that had been in Danny's body for more than two months gradually faded. Danny was floating at sea, unable to grasp the direction of the waves. He used to think he met a drifting ship, but he met an island.
Mountains cannot be moved, seas cannot be filled, and manpower is insignificant.
They lived in peace all day. Danny thought this false peace would continue until he chose to explode. But it was the doctor who broke the peace. The next day they were sitting side by side on the sofa for breakfast, and the doctor suddenly turned his head to him, as if the weather was good today and the scenery was good, and told Danny in that ordinary tone that his schedule had been arranged.
Spring is always late in the mountains, but it will come after all. In mid-February, the snow showed no sign of melting, but it hadn't snowed heavily in two weeks. The road in front of them has also posted a notice that public service will resume next week. The doctor has lived here for three years and is familiar with these time points. He has called a tow truck. That day they would walk to the crash site, and Danny would hitch a ride to town in a trailer.
It was much faster than Danny expected. He was caught off guard by the news, like a duel of knights before the doctor drew his sword and struck him in the heart. The spoon in Danny's hand fell into the cereal bowl with a crisp knock. The doctor quickly held the rim of the bowl. His quickness and calmness made Danny angry.
What's the matter with this person? Danny glared at the doctor. Obviously every day I say I like it, I say special, I say I love it, I say stay and don't go. But now, this person arranged his departure so indifferently
"What about you?" Danny asked. His voice was shrill.
"… Me?" the doctor repeated hesitantly. He didn't seem to understand what Danny was asking.
So Danny knew. Doctors never thought about it. He arranged for Danny to leave, but he didn't move. He's a mussel, shedding the grit accidentally washed by a flowing life. Danny is that grit.
… Hold. Danny thought.
He felt sharp pain. Those pains come for no reason, just as the first love came for no reason. Danny wondered if the doctor had gone through the same pain in arranging his departure. Is it last night? Danny lost sleep last night and looked out the window at the snow. The lights on the second floor reflected on the white snow were also on until the middle of the night. Or is it early morning? He imagined the doctor waking up early, curled up under the covers, and writing emails to the trailer plant. Danny only knew that the doctor could not speak or hear English, but he did not know whether the doctor could read and write. Maybe he just wrote it in Japanese and handed it to the translation software.
He looked at the doctor, who lowered his head and focused on a bowl of cereal.
Hold. Danny thought.
He has to face reality. No matter what the doctor thought, he had already made a decision. He decided to let Danny go.
Danny picked up the spoon and absently stirred his cereal. A cloudy whirlpool swirled in the bowl. He felt that his sanity had been completely sucked into that vortex.
For a moment, Danny thought, he'd just go and never come back. This ruthless neurologist doesn't deserve his love at all. Yet he immediately felt unforgivable anger at the thought. Who would dare to leave the doctor in the snowy mountains of Idaho, and let him live alone in a cat's fantasy? Danny's protection swelled up like a slap-sized kitten trying to guard a huge old mansion. He couldn't stay, and he couldn't leave.
Danny was in a dilemma.
Maybe he should leave first. leave and come back. Danny thought. Not seeing a doctor and busy suing should be an excellent buffer. He could not be tempted by the sweetness of the doctor and think about their future. Having said that, Danny doesn't know if he can do it. After parting, he was always very vulnerable. Maybe he will miss the doctor madly when he arrives in Florida; maybe he will cry because of missing and regretting on the plane without even having to go to Florida.
But that's after.
Danny put those doubts aside for a while and decided to just focus on the present. Anyway, go ahead. In the face of Kuze, Danny has no ability to judge at all. He even wished he was mad at times. But two lunatics can't solve anything. If Kuze didn't want to think about it, then Danny would have to think twice about it. He had to figure out what to do with him.
He lowered his head and took a light sip of the cereal. The sense of taste was overrun by emotion, and in the cloudy liquid, Danny tasted a strong bitterness.