On the day of departure, the highest temperature during the day was about 40 degrees Fahrenheit. Danny pushed open the door early in the morning and saw a group of small footprints on the snow, coming from the woods and back to the woods, only wandering around the heating cables.
"It's a squirrel," Kuze said.
Danny nodded and stepped into the snow. The squirrel footprint was immediately replaced by the boot print. He was still wearing Kuze's old clothes, and his boots were too big to tie as tightly as possible with shoelaces. Danny trudged through the snow, with Kuze following him. The crash site is less than 10 miles away. According to the average foot distance, after 3 hours, they will usher in parting.
They lingered along the road in the mountains, and the doctor told Danny to stay away from the mountain wall for fear of a small avalanche. He then leaned on the outside of the road. Road maintenance has not yet officially started, except for two ruts on the snow, there are only traces of snowmelting agent. There are many trees bent by snow on the slope outside the guardrail. Danny watched as he walked.
"You know, it doesn't snow in Miami," Danny said.
The doctor gave a "hmm" behind his back.
"Where's Miyagi?" Danny asked. "Is it snowing in Miyagi?"
"It's snowing," the doctor said. "It's not as exaggerated here, but it snows every winter."
They were silent for a while. Danny was wondering whether to bring up the subject again, but he wasn't very happy right now and didn't want to talk. He stared at the snowy slope at the bend ahead, where a frozen skunk lay. Behind him, the doctor cleared his throat.
"Do you remember the 311 earthquake in Japan?" the doctor said. "That was the year I took the central exam. It snowed very hard in January."
Danny responded.
The doctor continued: "At that time, everyone thought that the heavy snow was a good omen. My usual grades may not be able to be admitted to medical school, but I miraculously performed well in the examination and successfully entered Xuyi. That spring break, I specially invited my grandfather. When I came to Japan to play, I canceled my graduation trip and made a travel plan with my grandpa instead—"
Danny listened quietly to the doctor about what happened that year. Grandpa's plane arrived in Sendai and was forced to return after it failed to land. The locals panicked for a while at first, and when order was supposed to be gradually restored, news of the Fukushima accident came again. My brother was worried in Tokyo but couldn't get through on the phone. His parents were anxiously discussing whether to drive away. Convenience stores started queuing up to buy limited quantities.
The Jiushi family was far from the sea, and after the initial chaos for a few days, things gradually returned to the right track. Perhaps the biggest difference is that his family never ate local seafood that year.
The tone of the doctor's account of the disaster was not serious, as he was speaking about three and a half years ago. Danny imagined the doctor in the year of the earthquake. He should be only a little bit younger than himself, having been caught on the brink of disaster, but still in the process of learning, so he quickly accepted the status quo. Human life is long, and the wheels of the world are spinning. They will always meet and collide, and what kind of imprint they leave is entirely subjective.
They chatted endlessly about what had happened to them. The doctor talked about his anecdote about staying in the teacher's classroom in order to stay awake at the end of the term review. Danny retorted the embarrassment that he would not use props to hurt the guest when he was serving a guest for the first time. At that time, he not only did not get the money but also I owe a medical bill.
In the snow, Danny's chatter was getting higher and higher, but his footsteps slowed down contrary to the speed of his speech. The shoes with the wrong size really affected his walking, and he gradually stopped walking in front, but lined up with the doctor. The doctor put his arms around his shoulders naturally, and Danny leaned back naturally. For a moment, Danny felt like he was back a few days ago, when nothing happened. That feels very good, very right.
But Danny quickly came to his senses. This is the way to parting.
They arrived earlier than the scheduled trailer time. The ditch where the Nissan car rolled over was completely covered with snow, and it took Kuze a while to find the exact location. While waiting for the tow truck, they worked together to shovel most of the snow off the truck. The right door, which was pressed under the car body, was completely deformed, and the glass shards from the side windows were scattered in the car. Danny remembered the right hand that the doctor had rashly stretched out. At that time, he only thought that this person was kind but lacking common sense. Now that he thinks about it, the doctor probably thinks that he is a cat and the airbag will not work.
baffling. Danny complained inwardly. If Kusei had treated him a little worse back then, Danny wouldn't have to be so sad now. He glanced up at the doctor, who had been watching Danny and immediately noticed. Kuze frowned slightly and looked at Danny suspiciously. Danny looked away, pretended he didn't do anything, and squatted down to check the body.
The left door was kicked by the doctor at the time, and the lock was broken, but it was not deformed, and it could still be used after repairing it. How to fix it? It doesn't matter if Danny can't fix it himself, he can pay someone else to fix it. If only everything were that simple.
Kuze's scheduled trailer arrived on time. When the driver jumped out of the car, he was visibly surprised that the owner was also there.
"You know, you can wait at home. The car has to go to the garage first, it can't be handed over to you directly," the tow truck driver said.
Danny smiled and said, "We know, thanks. I was trying to hitch a ride."
Behind him, Kuze remained silent. Danny had expected this. He knew Kuze might be able to read and write English (think how he emailed about a tow truck), but always pretended to be deaf and mute to anyone who spoke English, like a cat meowing. Speaking of which, Danny had never heard Kuze speak English. He should have asked, but Kuze wouldn't agree anyway. Kuze's logic is so stubborn, Danny thought, maybe it won't be the day when Kuze gets out of the cat's fantasy before he speaks English.
The tow truck driver agreed to take Danny back to town. The overturned Nissan was lifted into the body of the car, and Danny jumped on it. He leaned against the side of the car body fence and looked down at Kuze.
Kuze is too tall, and he rarely has the opportunity to see Kuze from this perspective. The last time it seemed to be last winter, on Kuze's roof, they laughed heartily and fell into the snow, the stars and the love. Danny didn't want to go on thinking about it. He quickly looked away and sat down in a sheltered position between the body and the Nissan. He patted the Nissan snow tires and said to Kuze, "I'll pay for the repairs. Let them send the car back in time."
Danny felt like he should tell Kuze something, but he didn't want to make the separation sticky. Just like gauze on a wound, the softer it is when it is torn open, the less it will fall, and the more pain it will cause. He lowered his eyes and raised his collar to cover half of his face. Only then did Danny realize that it was indeed a little cold. He was still wearing Kuze's clothes, and the cold wind was blowing from his sleeves. Danny put his hands in his pockets, thinking about buying some new clothes when he got to town. He was going to take these off in Kuze's car and walk naked.
sense of ceremony. Danny thought.
He was not as uncomfortable as he thought, perhaps because he had done enough. Danny understands that some things can't always be changed. Like his aunt, Kuze's grandfather. He can learn to accept.
Or maybe he just didn't look into Kuze's eyes. Danny dared not. He thought he would jump off the trailer and onto Kuze's body immediately. They continue to live happily for a few days and postpone the separation for a few days - that makes no sense. Danny didn't want to be petted just as a cat. He tried, but it was impossible. Danny fell in love with Kuze and gave him the power to change himself. Kuze allows Danny to truly reduce himself to an animal for the sake of love, and Danny's self-esteem will never allow it.
The trailer started and the engine roared under Danny's feet. Grey smoke spewed from the rear of the car.
At this moment, Danny suddenly madly wanted to look back. He had been angry with Kuze all the time, and he hadn't seen him well for a long time. Even during the snow walk just now, he was leaning against Kuze's arms, but he didn't look up at the familiar chin.
Just one look, Danny thought, he couldn't have jumped off the trailer, just one look.
He held his breath and turned around to see Kuze still standing there. He looked blankly in Danny's direction, looking unmoved.
Danny was suddenly angry. He refused to admit what he was expecting, but not now. He glared at Kuze fiercely, knowing that the man had entered the defense mechanism again. Danny can't accept that this encounter is a boring injury to Kuze. He slammed onto the fence and wanted to curse, but just opened his mouth when Kuze suddenly ran.
The trailer had just started, and the acceleration was not as good as Kuze's running. He quickly caught up with the end of the trailer, and his left palm rested on the railing at the end of the trailer. This action was too dangerous, and Danny was almost scared out of his breath by him - he shouted: "Let go!" But Kuze didn't mean to let go at all, Danny immediately turned to the driver again, screaming: "Stop! parking!"
The driver has seen this scene from the rearview mirror. Danny heard an angry roar from the cab, followed by a loud curse. The trailer slowed down suddenly, Danny fell unsteadily on the fence, and Kuze jumped on the trailer. He was so tall that he rolled over the fence at the end of the trailer just by pedaling on a tire. He used to help Danny up and stood beside Danny like that, a little helpless.
In the cab, the driver scolds and asks what they are doing as he re-accelerates. Danny wanted to know too. He took a deep breath and asked Kuze, "What are you doing here?"
"You seem to want me to come along," Kuze said.
Danny was suddenly discouraged. That's right, he wanted Kuze to follow, but just follow. None of them will budge, and things will not change.
He sat back in the corner, and Kuze sat down beside him. Kuze's hand was on the back of Danny's, but Danny didn't dodge. He leaned against Kuze, leaned his head on his arm, and looked up at the sky. It is said that this action is the origin of Kuze's forehead lines. How happy and romantic it is to appreciate the blue sky and white clouds, why is it reflected in the human flesh/body, but such an ugly thing as a forehead tattoo
Danny thought endlessly. He would rather be immersed in boundless thoughts than to think about the parting that is right in front of him.
He felt tired.
The trailer stopped at the repair shop, and Danny jumped out of the car, thanking the driver before he could scold him, and paying a pretty hefty tip - Kuze's money. Kuze had no problem with Danny's use of his wallet. He stood behind him, like a fairy tale puppet who had strayed into reality, deserted and out of place. He does not speak.
Danny returned the wallet to Kuze and went to the post office next door.
Jiushi's house was too remote for postal delivery, so Jiushi's grandfather rented a post office mailbox, which is still in use today. Danny had the bank send the check to that mailbox. He took Kuze's mailbox key and opened it. The envelope containing the check was lying on top of the thick stack of advertising mail. As Danny reached for the letter, he suddenly remembered a movie he had seen. If life were a movie, he should be able to find Grandpa's letter in the mailbox, and it should be filled with rainbow-like warm and loving sentences, able to open Kuze's heart with hope and tears, they would hug and cry, and then Live a happy life together.
But that is of course impossible. There is only a letter from winter here, three months of continuous snowy nights will eventually melt, nothing has changed, nothing has happened. He's just a mere mortal. The world was unmoved, and Kuze was equally unmoved.
Danny closed the mailbox and left the post office. Kuze was standing outside the door waiting for him. They walked side by side toward the center of the town. The shadow at noon was only a few inches short, so Danny deliberately slowed down. Under the magic of sunlight, shadow and shadow are intimately attached to each other, and they are separated at a touch.
so boring. Danny thought. He quickened his pace and caught up with Kuze. Kuze frowned and glanced at him, but Danny didn't speak.
Danny went to the bank first. Danny cashed his check with the ID he had dug up from the Kusaka family's trash heap. Then he walked into a men's clothing store, without choosing, he directly took a set of S size men's clothing closest to the door, and another set of underwear. He unbuttoned his clothes one by one in the changing room, and the soft cotton clothes were half-folded around his body, like a shapeless hug.
Danny hears people talking outside, the world is a blur of noise. Kuze's shadow came from under the curtain, and Danny recognized the silhouette. He stopped and stared at Kuze's phantom. He felt a slight tremor in his left hand, but it quickly recovered.
It wasn't tremors, it was heart palpitations.
Danny quietly changed his clothes and stepped out. He walked up to the clerk and was surprised to learn that Kuze had already paid for him. He looked at Kuze, waiting for an explanation, but Kuze didn't look at him. Kuze stood at the checkout counter, his shoulders were stiff, his eyes fell on the counter and he refused to meet the clerk. He didn't seem to have a good time, and Danny's questioning of him only made it worse.
… Forget it, it’s just a suit. Danny thought.
Kuze's clothes were piled up in the paper bag in his hand. Danny had planned to do it more properly, more ritualistically, with a trip to the laundromat or something. But he knew that was just stalling time. He handed the paper bag to Kuze, and when Kuze took it, their palms touched. He could feel Kuze reaching out to hold him, so Danny subconsciously shook that hand. Danny didn't realize what they were doing until he saw the clerk's raised eyebrows.
Danny should have let go, but the clerk's raised eyebrow never meant to let it go, and it was raised higher and higher. Fuck, he understands what this guy means. Having lived with Kuze for three months, he almost lost the keen senses he had acquired on the streets. Danny immediately changed his mind. Not only did he not let go, but he held Kuze's hand even tighter. He could feel Kuze stepping back a little, and Judging from his posture, Kuze wasn't quite comfortable.
This will not work. They have done nothing wrong and have no reason to be uncomfortable.
Danny held Kuze's hand and let him stay where he was. He took a step forward and stood in front of Kuze. Even if Kuze, who is too tall, is not used as a reference, Danny is also the shorter and thinner one in the face of this average-height clerk, but he is not afraid. Danny stared at the clerk aggressively, like an eagle owl in a state of intimidation. The confrontation lasted for about a minute, until the latter realized that he was neither reasonable nor dominant, coughed awkwardly, and turned his head away.
Good, Danny thought. He straightened his back and walked towards the door triumphantly. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kuze beside him staring at him with a complicated expression. Danny wondered if Kuze understood what he meant. He wanted to show Kuze that they were right, they had to be righteous. Danny clasped Kuze's hand and strode like a warrior or a king.
The momentum didn't melt until he turned the corner, because the garage had already appeared in Danny's field of vision, at the end of the road.
There they will part ways.