Thin rain fell from the sky, and with twilight, it fell on the dark umbrella surface.
Only then did Lin Huai realize... Autumn is here.
The change of seasons is an objective concept, but human perception of seasons tends to be subjective. Sometimes it is a red circle drawn on the calendar, sometimes it is a cold wind and rainstorm sweeping across the northwest in the weather forecast, and sometimes it is the off-white croissant coats worn by girls laughing and laughing on the roadside, and flying in the air. A khaki plaid scarf among maple leaves.
However, until this moment, Lin Huai looked at Mu Yu who was blocked by the umbrella and never fell on her skin, and realized that autumn had arrived.
That is to say...
It has been a year since he became "Lin Huai".
What he realized at that moment, besides the coming of autumn, was the coming of another person.
An encounter that is not known to be deliberate or accidental.
The umbrella hit his head, which was actually a very meaningless thing, because the rain was not very heavy. He was also not afraid that he would catch a cold because of the rain.
And the arrival of that person is also a meaningless thing. This person can't answer his questions. He may be connected to his past, but he can't explain his current existence.
But why... He suddenly felt very sad
Lin Huai always felt that she was always quite happy. He can always find things in life that make him happy, or, through his own efforts, make things the way that makes him happy (although this may scare some people). Therefore, even after discovering this absurd truth, what he felt immediately was not shock or panic, but bewilderment.
Pure blankness.
It was an outsider's daze, just like Meursault lost his mother, like a spaceship in space, suddenly lost the signal from the main console.
The original real world became absurd and meaningless, and he and this grand stage were suddenly incompatible and separated. The audience was chatting and laughing in the audience, and the actors were performing in front of the stage, and everything was staged as tightly as a script. And he stood in the middle of the stage, looking at his own life that was inserted here forcefully, feeling separated and at a loss.
Perhaps it was precisely because of this feeling that he couldn't explain it himself that he sat on the steps for a whole afternoon without thinking about doing anything.
However, at the moment when the umbrella was propped on his head.
He suddenly felt that there was a connection between himself and the world.
And at that moment, the clouds in the sky began to swim and gather towards the west with the setting sun; the cool raindrops began to fall along the sky; the students who finished their study came out of the classroom in twos and threes, chatting and passing by them, happily Discussing the itinerary for the night.
And he, at this moment, raised his head and looked at the person holding the umbrella.
—and suddenly, in a daze of nothingness, I felt real sadness.
"Hey, hey..." Seeing his face, the man holding the umbrella used the glass door next to him to take a picture of his whole body, "Do I look so ugly today?"
"..."
"Why do you look so ugly that I'm crying..." He said noisyly, "What are you doing sitting here?"
Lin Huai looked up at the sky: "I'm thinking about something very philosophical."
"… for example?"
"Who am I, where am I, what am I going to do."
"?"
"'Lin Huai' and 'Crow' are just a name, a code name, you can be called Lin Huai, I can also be called Lin Huai, these students who have passed by, they can do it. After removing this code name? I am again Who?"
"..."
"Where did I come from, where did I die, why did I appear in this world? What does my appearance mean to this world, did the world choose me or did I choose the world?"
"Is there a necessary connection between me and the universe? Does the universe have an end, does time have a length... um..."
"Enough," Chu Tianshu pressed his shoulders with both hands, and said very sincerely, "I killed me."
"Oh." Lin Huai smiled, "This is also acceptable, as expected of you."
Then, a coat fell on his head. The owner of the coat pressed Lin Huai's head wrapped in the coat and said, "Don't laugh when you don't want to laugh."
"..."
Then, Chu Tianshu turned his back and covered his eyes: "Now you can cry loudly, don't worry, no one will remember me except my expensive waterproof windbreaker. Stop your crying. Put your coat over your head and cry like a man... Eeeeeeeee, why are you kicking me?"
Chu Tianshu, who was kicked by Lin Huai, squatted down. Lin Huai retracted his foot and lowered his head expressionlessly.
He was covered by his coat and lowered his head for a long time before he said, "What are you doing here?"
... Are you here to see me
He was taken aback by his own thought, and then he heard Chu Tianshu say: "It's a bit of a long story..."
"Probably, because of illegal use of electrical appliances, I was fined by the relevant department, and the house was temporarily impounded. And because I rented a new house, I have no liquidity in my hand. The latest payment for the manuscript will not be released until tomorrow." to the card."
"therefore."
"I came to find you for dinner."
Lin Huai: ...
He choked back the inexplicable feelings in his heart, and turned to look at Chu Tianshu with disdain. Chu Tianshu turned his back to him, and still said to himself: "I can't help it. Pork is too expensive recently, it costs more than 50 yuan a catty, and the price of takeaway has also increased. Seeing that we share the same bed You can use your noble student meal card to kindly take me in for a month..."
"it is good."
"If it doesn't work, I will have to live in the street, steal a bicycle, and die in a frozen alley in the cold winter... What did you say?"
"I say yes."
Lin Huai stood up and patted the ashes off her body. Then, he saw Chu Tianshu turned his head with moving eyes, holding the mobile phone with the screen on in his hand: "So simple? You are so kind, I haven't finished reading the manuscript I found on the Internet... "
On the screen of his mobile phone was a half-read manuscript.
Lin Huai: I don’t know why I think it’s better for him to starve to death right there.
"Let's go and eat," Chu Tianshu grabbed his shoulders and rubbed his head with the other hand, "As expected of my best friend, I checked it on the way here, I want to eat The new ramen restaurant…”
In this way, he carried Lin Huai down the steps, half dragging and half hugging, talking nonstop about his understanding of the S cafeteria. And Lin Huai didn't know why he was lazy, he was too lazy to talk, too lazy to complain, and too lazy to break free from the hand that was holding him.
Before the two walked out of the library's sphere of influence, Chu Tianshu said again: "You are not something that can be simply defined by a code name."
"... what?" Lin Huai who was in a daze took a long time before replying with a short sentence.
They were walking through the music plaza in the center of campus, where the fountain rose every night at seven o'clock.
It was six fifty-five at this time.
"As you said, the name is a code name, and the body is a collection of proteins and sugars. After a hundred years, I will become a mineral, and so will you. Neither the name nor the body can define a person. The name is the file name, the body is the running interface, and only the soul is the most important code."
"Maybe you ask me again, if the body, name, and memory have all changed, how do you define it? But even if these have changed, the feeling of being together is real. And they are in In life, at that particular time, it really happened."
"and… "
The fountain rose at that moment, with gorgeous water splashes, covering the sky and covering the sky. Amidst the huge sound of water, Lin Huai saw Chu Tianshu's lips move.
Finally, he touched his nose.
The fountain is over. Chu Tianshu looked at Lin Huai with sincere eyes, as if expecting some response.
"What did you say just now?" Lin Huai asked, "The fountain was so loud that I didn't hear it."
"that… "
Chu Tianshu's face was rarely shy. He scratched his face with his fingers, lowered his head, and looked at Lin Huai who was covering his head with his coat.
"this… "
The street lamps on the side of the road turned on one after another, and the warm yellow light illuminated not only the spray of the fountain, but also Lin Huai's eyes.
"That... can you give me back my coat?" Chu Tianshu said.
Lin Huai: "Huh?"
Chu Tianshu sneezed, rubbed his nose again, and said embarrassedly: "Well, yes, it's a bit cold."
Lin Huai: "..."
"It's not cold like I'm not in good health, but objectively, it's a little cold." Chu Tianshu said, "Today the north wind is level 3, it rains at night, and the minimum temperature is 15 degrees..."
Lin Huai: "..."
"And you also know that your body is a little cold right now." Chu Tianshu said, "I've been holding you for so long, it's really a little cold."
Lin Huai: "..."
"The skin evaporates moisture, the air flow takes away heat, the third boundary condition of heat transfer... don't look at me with that kind of eyes! I will be cold, it's normal..."
Lin Huai: "==#"
"So can you..."
Lin Huai stuffed the windbreaker covering her body into Chu Tianshu's arms expressionlessly.
"So, you are actually reduced to a legal coffee..." After arriving at the ramen shop, Lin Huai stirred the noodles in the bowl, and looked at him with his chin in his hand, "But this kind of thing happened to you, I have no idea Unexpected feeling... ”
"It's not so much that I was reduced to a legal cafe, it's better to say that I suffered a double blow both psychologically and physically. Along with my own dignity, I was completely insulted..."
Chu Tianshu vividly described the process of his being attacked by relevant departments. Lin Huai sat by and listened, the more he listened, the more he felt something was wrong. He ate soft-boiled eggs in small bites, and asked: "...Why are there only two female law enforcement officers in the relevant department?"
"Oh," Chu Tianshu said, "because they are my mother and my sister."
Lin Huai: ...
"In short, seeing that I don't look for a job, don't go out, and I am addicted to the second dimension and horror movies at home, the relevant department issued a final arrest warrant for me, and entered the room without authorization to confiscate all my research results. I originally wanted to I took my cat and fled back to Nanjing overnight, only to find that in the vast and indifferent city of S, I still have the last comrade-in-arms who can give me money." Chu Tianshu said, "So I didn't hesitate, I will drive to S and join you."
Lin Huai: ...