The ramen shop is lit with warm orange lights, and on the table is a large bowl with a diameter of about 18 centimeters carved on one-third of its outer surface. The golden soup, the white noodles, and the orange-red prawns are mixed together in a bowl. After eating the soft-boiled eggs, Lin Huai picked up the noodles with chopsticks, but saw a green broccoli flower at the bottom of the bowl.
…why is there broccoli here! He uttered a cry in his heart that was comparable to "why are there cars here".
Lin Huai silently covered the noodles back, trying to whitewash the peace by burying them. The hot steam of the noodle soup made his pale side face a little hot. Under the light, it was a little warm red, like a picture in the world that became alive after being full of smoke and smoke.
The warm noodles will enter the mouth, slide into the esophagus as they are chewed, and land in the stomach. After being dissolved and stirred by stomach acid, they will finally turn into a little bit of sugar and blend into the blood, and dissolve in every cell with the joyful blood. Lin Huai didn't know whether his body was still faithfully executing this set of mechanisms, but he thought, this might be the feeling of being alive.
... alive.
All the experiences of the past year slipped through his mind. It was a happy, warm and colorful picture.
But…
"...when I was a ghost, no, when I thought I was a ghost," he thought, "I always wanted to be human. Not just for fun, but also because..."
I want to live.
I want to go to the world of flowers, to the bustle, to the sunshine of all flowers and the abyss of clouds.
I can be a turbulent protagonist, or a cynical supporting role. I can make a move to stir up the situation, or I can look on the sidelines coldly. I dominate myself, I please myself, I am crazy about myself, no matter what others think.
This is to be alive.
Instead of being left alone, in the quiet well. Stay in a false past and a foggy future.
He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, they were already extremely bright.
"Have you ever thought about what the meaning of your life is?" he said suddenly.
"So you're getting into the topic of philosophy again? Such philosophy doesn't look like you." Chu Tianshu said, "You're alive..."
"Ordinary and trivial daily things, three meals a day, nine to five, good morning kisses in the morning, lofty ideals, research topics advanced every day, and the starry sky that is far away but close at hand?" he said.
"No." Lin Huai shook his head.
He closed his eyes, put down his chopsticks, and looked at the young man opposite him with a serious look he had never had before: "It's freedom."
"I thought I was just trying to live until I just now found out..."
Not to be manipulated by others, not to be suppressed by others, not false, free and unique life—
That's what he wanted most.
Therefore, the problem that bothered him the most and caused him the most confusion and pain was solved.
—that is, his own existence.
"Actually, I haven't changed from the beginning to the end." Lin Huai finally smiled again, "As a human being, in order to be free from being manipulated, I chose to enter the 'gate' and make a bet with the 'God' .”
"As a ghost, I left Wen County and entered this body for the freedom to have fun."
"And now, as Lin Huai, for the sake of freedom, I decided to uncover this whitewashed world and false truth."
"If I hadn't discovered all of this, I might have been unimpeded in the game as 'Lin Huai', promoted to the high-level field, and enjoyed a carefree game time. In reality, I would have cooperated with Chen Shu and Cheng Yu'an Wait for the rich second generation to make friends, get a good job after graduation, often go out to scare people, and enjoy a perfect life that is not out of the ordinary but also happy. But..." He grinned, "I will never break the Regret for the 'false happiness' that I could have had."
"We will never stop chasing the truth because of the crisis we may face."
"Because knowing the truth, living in the truth, being able to be unscrupulous and laughing according to my own principles at any time is the 'freedom' I want, even if it will bleed, even if I am alone. And living in the fabric of others" In the dream, it is a future that I will never accept."
… Therefore, even if you need to peel off all the veils of warmth, even if you need to understand your isolated and helpless situation, even if you find yourself covered in blood in front of you and behind you, with no way out or retreat.
He too will laugh and run through the long night with all his madness and all his life.
Because a buffoon will never accept arrangements, accept hypocrisy and fate.
"Only actors need to refer to the script, and clowns only need to tear up all the rules happily."
Although there is still some confusion about the unknown in her heart, Lin Huai has never felt so relieved.
He even started to thank himself for having discovered these truths. If not, he will live in illusion all his life.
Living in the illusion of self-conceited happiness, like a clown used by the audience to make fun of.
Chu Tianshu sat beside him, looked at his radiant appearance, and smiled.
It was like the look he had when he was sitting in the office, watching Lin Huai smashing every glass cover and rescuing every potential criminal through the camera.
He seemed to have seen one of the most difficult puzzles to solve, and also seemed to have seen every little joy that appeared most commonly in life.
"Ah... But even though I've said so much..." Lin Huai leaned back on the table depressed again, "But I really don't have a clue about everything that happened to me... Forget it, instead of thinking about it, it's better to think about it. The big homework of the semester and Chen Shu's haunted house... what kind of 'freedom' is still far away."
Thinking of this, he sighed.
"Actually, these problems are not so complicated."
"what?"
"Look," Chu Tianshu said, and naturally put the broccoli from Lin Huai's bowl into his own, "For example, now, you are freely taken away by me for a piece of broccoli you hate—"
Then, he took the marinated egg in his bowl: "And I got a marinated egg that you like freely."
"Maybe you won't meet someone who likes to eat broccoli and hates to eat marinated eggs. But you will always meet someone who likes you and is willing to do these things for you." Chu Tianshu said, "They are your present The little 'freedoms' you have."
The marinated egg fell into the bowl, splashing a little oil.
"... like?" Lin Huai looked at Chu Tianshu suspiciously.
"Like among friends." Chu Tianshu looked upright, "Don't get me wrong."
"Oh..." Lin Huai said, and put the marinated egg back in the bowl, "Then I'll give you some love from friends too."
"what?"
"Stop pretending, I know you like to eat this." Lin Huai looked teasingly at the few noodles left in his bowl, as well as the live shrimp and barbecued pork, "You are the kind of person who likes to save what you like to eat The last man."
"Speaking of it, generally this kind of people are cautious and good at thinking, but this..." Lin Huai looked at him with his face up, and squinted his eyes, "I didn't see it from you at all..."
"Maybe it's because sand sculptures are also my freedom?" Chu Tianshu smiled jokingly.
After finishing these two bowls of noodles, they walked out of the orange light of the ramen shop just before closing time.
The October nights are getting a little chilly. They were walking down the street with no one else around. Along the way, there are bleak and dark gray street scenes. Lin Huai's originally happy mood was blown by the cold wind and cooled down again.
"Oh..." He sighed lightly.
In addition to poetry and distant places in life, there are countless lingering and lingering... He looked at the street and the iron-gray sky in front of him, and closed his eyes.
Then, he heard Chu Tianshu's voice: "Do you want to try more happiness and freedom?"
"what?"
He grabbed Lin Huai's arm and pulled him up: "Let's go."
"Go...where?"
Lin Huai looked puzzled, and then he heard the man say, "Go and be happy."
"What are you doing, I'm a college student, hey..." Lin Huai grabbed the telephone pole, "I won't go with you to a place where there are a lot of champagne, brandy, beautiful girls, beautiful gays—"
This time it was Chu Tianshu's turn to raise his eyes: "Hey, is this my image in your heart?"
"...The door will be closed in two hours." Lin Huai said, "I am a law-abiding college student... But speaking of it, what exactly are you taking me for?"
He was expecting a clear answer, but only heard a few words from that person.
"of course-"
"Go run, go live."
an hour.
Lin Huai sat in the co-pilot drowsy, Chu Tianshu drove the car, and in the trunk of the car, there were fireworks that Chu Tianshu bought temporarily.
It took them a long time to drive to the uninhabited suburbs. On a section of abandoned road, Chu Tianshu moved out the fireworks and started playing drums with great interest. Lin Huai squatted beside him and looked at him, wondering, "It's not a festival, why are you setting off fireworks?"
"You'll find out soon."
In the wilderness, uninhabited, abandoned roads, and overcast clouds. This should have been a great time for adventure, death, and visiting ghosts and cars on the road. Two adult men were squatting here to set up fireworks... Seeing Chu Tianshu's cheerful appearance, Lin Huai didn't bother him. Standing with his arms folded, he saw a few horribly knocked ghosts floating towards the side of the road, so he gave each of them a red eye to scare them away.
... From this point of view, there are indeed many benefits to becoming a ghost. He was thinking like this, but he heard Chu Tianshu's voice: "Okay."
"what… "
Chu Tianshu pulled him to the other side of the abandoned road and covered his ears with both hands. At the moment when the warm temperature that belongs to humans wraps the skin, the fireworks in the middle of the road also start to shoot a white light into the sky.
One after another white light shoots into the sky like a rocket, and blooms one by one in the leaden night sky. Some of them are green and shaped like dahlias, some are golden and look like stars, and some are pink like peonies in full bloom. Densely packed, filled the sky.
At this moment, Lin Huai was staring at the sky, his dark eyes were illuminated by the fireworks.
"Lin Huai!" Chu Tianshu said loudly in his ear, "Happy birthday!"
"It is 0:00 am on October 21, 2019. From this moment on, you are a brand new person!"
In this brilliant fireworks, two people stand on the abandoned road, with the leaden sky as the background.
Like a grand rebirth and escape.
The night wind was a bit chilly. Sitting in the car, Lin Huai opened the window.
They galloped in the early autumn night, like two gangsters having a carnival at the end of their lives.
"Actually, I have another question..." Lin Huai said, looking at his profile.
"What?" Chu Tianshu held the steering wheel and glanced at the time, "It's already one o'clock in the morning, and the dormitory has access control, so..."
Lin Huai: "So I went to sleep at your house?"
Chu Tianshu: "So you can only climb back to the dormitory along the water pipe, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
Lin Huai: "..."
Chu Tianshu smiled gloatingly, and after laughing, he turned to him again: "Don't worry, you won't fall to your death anyway, if you can't climb up once, climb up a few more times. Hahahaha."
Lin Huai: "..."
He swallowed the phrase "Why are you so nice to me" abruptly. After a while, Chu Tianshu finally asked: "What did you want to ask just now? Did you want to ask me why I am so nice?"
"No." Lin Huai squinted his eyes, "My question is, how did you find me on the stairs of the library?"
"Actually, in this era, it is not very difficult to find a person. When a person wants to be alone and away from others, but does not want to go very far, his range of activities is basically determined. " Chu Tianshu said, "From a certain point of view, I did not conduct too many searches, but a simple investigation and judgment..."
Lin Huai: "..."
"However," Chu Tianshu said, "actually, there is a simpler answer to this question."
"what?"
"Because I was looking for you. And..."
Lin Huai slightly opened his eyes.
He watched the wind blowing his hair, and the hair of Chu Tianshu sitting beside him.
In the darkness of night, Chu Tianshu's profile was straight and deep.
"Besides, the stairs are facing the parking lot." Chu Tianshu said, "So I saw you sitting on the steps right after I got off the car."
"..."
"And since you were a child, you like to sit alone on high steps."
He casually dropped a word, but caused a storm in Lin Huai's heart.
"We, did we meet when we were kids?"
"Not only have I seen it, but I am also very familiar with it." Chu Tianshu said, "Otherwise, what do you think I objected to you entering Chenxing?"
"Because... worried about my safety?"
"No." Chu Tianshu said seriously, "It's because I understand your dissolute and freedom-loving nature, and to prevent you from causing trouble secretly. Who knows that God's will will trick people..."
Lin Huai: ... It seems that I have really forgotten the past. Childhood too, teenage years too...
However, before asking other questions, another question suddenly appeared in his mind.
A question that frightened him so much, even more frightening than his own existence and the false world.
"Sorry, I need to ask another question." Lin Huai said cautiously, "This can be said to be a question that will affect my life."
Chu Tianshu: "?"
"The me in the past, 'Crow'." He felt that he had never been so terrified, even beads of sweat appeared on the back of his head, "Is it a man?"
Chu Tianshu: Pfft!
Chu Tianshu: "Hahahahahahaha, hahahahahaha."
"Okay, I was stupid." Lin Huai twitched the corners of her eyes, "Then the second question..."
"How did we know each other?"
"Didn't you say that talking about the past is meaningless?" Chu Tianshu asked him back.
"Uh..." Lin Huai felt a rare embarrassment, "I'm just suddenly curious..."
"Although I really want to say, the first time I saw you was under the ginkgo tree. You were wearing a straw hat with flowers. You looked like a cute little girl. Since then, you have left a beautiful impression on you, and you have never been married because of this. The beginning of this romance…”
"Hey..." Lin Huaixu rolled his eyes, "Do you think you are Dr. Ali?"
"Or, when I was seven years old and the number one killer in the world, I went on a mission and was injured, and you, the young master of the second richest family in the world, picked me up and brought me back. The beginning of such a legend... ps, my family He must be the richest man in the world."
"... Is it really possible for such dreaming beginnings to appear in this novel..."
"However, our encounter was neither romantic nor legendary. It sounds a little too ordinary." Chu Tianshu drove his bicycle into a community next to the university, "It was also a rainy autumn afternoon. As a freshman in high school, I walked out of school with my schoolbag on my back. A month ago, I accidentally ignited a magnesium block in the garden of the community, and was chased by the security guards to the garbage dump. Therefore, I was fined and confiscated all the pocket money money. Considering the need for further chemical experiments, I decided to save the money for taking the bus home and walk home.”
"It's about three stops from school to home, and it takes 40 minutes to walk. When I walked to the tenth minute, I came across two fighting cats, so I squatted down and watched for five minutes, and lost the first one intact. trouser legs. At the 20th minute, I opened the latest "Knowing the World" magazine at the newsstand on the side of the road, and quickly ran away before the boss chased me after reading the joke column. At the 30th minute , a watering truck playing 'Orchid Grass' passed by every day. Although I evaded it in time, I still lost another intact trouser leg, but this is already the result of maximizing the benefits... "
"So why do you remember these details so clearly..." Lin Huai complained, "What a boring and ordinary daily life of male high school students..."
"At the thirty-fifth minute, I arrived near a public middle school. Just as I was thinking that my miserable appearance when I came home could arouse my sister's sympathy, and I was able to borrow a certain amount of experimental funds from her, I realized that I was going the wrong way." Chu Tianshu said, "Facing me was a low wall, and I only thought about it for a tenth of a second, then decided to turn around, and realized at the same time that I still had time Be home in ten minutes."
"..."
"Then I saw the sinking sunset, and a dirty sixth grader running towards me at the alley." He said, "He ran towards me, staring at me with both eyes, It’s as if I’m something very precious living this ordinary, boring life of a high school boy.”
Lin Huai's heart skipped a beat.
"I was overwhelmed by this unusual picture, and for a moment I only thought of standing. I don't think I knew him before, and he didn't appear in my return plan. Why did he appear at this moment? What is the significance of his coming? Why does he look so thin, but his eyes are so bright? I confirm that I have never seen him, but he is like a double-slit experiment that cannot be observed, so abruptly—unable Predicted to be here. And I have no way, nor can I speculate on his motives."
"...and then?" Lin Huai said.
"Then, he ran up to me, and I realized that he was more than a head shorter than me. Maybe because he felt that he was too short, he raised his feet, moved closer to my ear, and said eight words. word." Chu Tianshu parked the car in a community.
"Which eight characters?"
He turned around and looked at Lin Huai.
"Hello classmate, I want to rob."