When I was in memory, Shen Zhen waved in front of my eyes, and this brought my thoughts back.
"En. You continue to say, I'm listening, and what happened to you?" I asked Shen Zhen softly.
"I contacted my closest buddy that day, and checked who made the post. As expected, it was made by the girl who was angry with me that day." Compared to when I talked about the betrayal of an online friend Shen Zhen's sorrow, there was no anger or hatred in Shen Zhen's eyes at this time, she was just narrating the matter plainly, as if it had nothing to do with her.
"Later I inquired about this girl’s class and dormitory, and I went to find her. But I didn’t expect that she who thought she had successfully slandered me would come to face my challenge vigorously, but I didn’t expect that she came out with her back on her back. Her complexion was haggard, and she seemed to be frustrated." Shen Zhen called the waiter to come and change a drink for us.
"I had prepared a lot of curse words, and I couldn't say a word for a while." Look, Shen Zhen is really a woman with a knife-mouthed tofu heart. It's hard to deal with those who hurt yourself.
"The girl came out that day. The first sentence was whether she could accompany me for a walk. Of course I was embarrassed to refuse. But when the two enemies were extremely jealous when they met, the atmosphere suddenly became a little weird." Shen Zhen Suddenly laughed, the kind of laughter, but I saw that she was just twitching at the corner of her mouth, and she seemed to be full of helplessness.
"The girl was diagnosed with depression. She went to the bar that day just to talk to Yang Yining. She wanted to break up because she also knew that the symptoms of her illness were getting more and more obvious, and that she was getting more and more unable to control her temper and it would only hurt. To that Yang Yining, she liked that Yang Yining very much." At this point, Shen Zhen burst into tears. I was surprised that she would cry because of that girl.
Although I didn't understand what was going on, I quickly took out the toilet paper and handed it to Shen Zhen.
Shen Zhen's subsequent words were almost unclear, but I knew she wanted to tell me her inner distress. So I stroked her back and said, "It's okay, don't worry, take your time. I dedicate it to you tonight, and I will listen to whatever you want."
After a while, Shen Zhen's emotions slowly calmed down. After taking a breath, he began to whisper again: "Where did you just talk about it?"
Before I could respond, Shen Zhen remembered herself and said, "Oh, she wants to break up with Yang Yining. Yang Yining was not the first to arrive, so I went to strike up a conversation. When she saw it, she was very tangled and emotional. Her mental state was very bad. When she saw this scene, she had no ability to think. When she didn't figure out what the situation was, she had only one idea that Yang Yining and I were a pair of dogs, so she cursed at me."
"Later, after she was mad, Yang Yining chased her out. Yang Yining didn't know that she was sick at the time. After catching up with her, he took her arm. It was probably also angry at the scene just now. Yang Yining was a little angry and asked the girl why. To be so unreasonable to make trouble, she also had a big quarrel. The next day Yang Yining did not coax her as usual. This lack of security made the girl's emotions even more excited, so she made the post in a fit of anger." Shen Zhen rubbed After rubbing her temples, it seemed that it was time when she least wanted to remember.
After adjusting her mood, Shen Zhen said: "Later, the girl told me that before I found her, Yang Yining called her first. She thought it was an apology and begs for peace, but she didn't expect it to be a direct accusation. The girl was arrogant and unreasonable. Before the girl could explain, the boy hung up the phone. So when I saw me, the girl looked sad, like a frustrated soldier, unable to break into the army."
That's right, how can you not be sad to be misunderstood or slandered by your beloved one. Just like when I was misunderstood by Duan Qiao, my reaction was already so big, not to mention the situation this girl encountered? Not to mention that she was still ill at the time.
I sighed. Although I know the pain of being hurt by the one I love, even so, I still can’t imagine how helpless and desperate that girl was at the time.
Shen Zhen later continued to say slowly: "After listening to what she said, I didn't know what to do. Because I didn't think that she had so much pain in her heart, and I didn't know how to persuade her. She suddenly I took my hand and apologized to me, saying that there was nothing in my mind at the time. I just did those things like venting and begged for my forgiveness. I could only nod my head, but couldn't say anything to comfort me. Later I stayed with her. , After sitting by Wenyuan Lake for a long, long time, neither of us spoke to each other. In this way, she finally said to me that I hope I can live well. If she is injured by the gossip caused by her post, she will Very guilty."
"That's why you will keep silent about this matter from now on? Because you don't want to mention it again and let others accuse her of something wrong?" I asked Shen Zhen not to speak.
"Yes, then I assumed that this had never happened, and I followed what I promised her to live a good life, so you didn't even tell, and I still be a heartless Shen Zhen. But I have never been able to forget her. , Because I can't forgive her choice." Shen Zhen began to cry softly again.
"Why is this again?" I really don't know anything about these things, as if I didn't study in that university.
"Because she chose to commit suicide by jumping into the lake the next day, right where we were talking yesterday. Although she went out by herself early in the morning, there were still messages on the Internet saying that I persecuted the girl. But because my dad oppressed. I received the news, so the news was blocked. After you come back, no one is talking about this, so you don’t know." Shen Zhen wanted me to explain
"I can't forgive her that it was not because she committed suicide that gave me the charge, but she chose to end her life easily. She could tell Yang Yining the first time, she could wait a while and wait for Yang Yining to accompany her through the news Difficulty, she obviously has so many choices, but she chose the stupidest one." Shen Zhen buried her head in her arms and let out a cry of "uuuuu". This muffled sound made me sad. .
"It's all my fault. If it weren't for me to talk to Yang Yining, she would not misunderstand, nor quarrel with Yang Yining, nor would she leave the world so discouraged."
Although I don't know how painful depression is, I always read news reports to understand how much pain this disease brings to people. So I think that she might be the best choice to end her life at that time.
So I said to Shen Zhen: "Don't blame yourself too much. Maybe this choice is the best for her. She doesn't have to suffer too much."
"But it's very painful for us! A fresh life disappeared. Has she considered our feelings? Have you ever thought about her parents? Have you ever thought about Yang Yining? She loves him so much, how can she be willing to leave? !" Shen Zhen yelled at me out of control.
"In that case, what about Yang Yining? Where did he go after the girl died? Why didn't I see him when I returned to school?" I asked Shen Zhen.
Shen Zhen shook her head and said, "I planned to talk to Yang Yining afterwards, but since the girl passed away, I haven't seen him in school. Everyone doesn't know where he went."
After a while, Shen Zhen raised her head and said, "So after I graduated, I went to Japan. After the accident, I checked all her Weibo. I knew that Japan was the country she wanted to go to, so I wanted to watch it for her. Look."
"I still remember that there was such a poem in her Weibo that Yang Yining used when she confessed to her." When she said this, Shen Zhen actually showed a gratified smile, as if she was loved by her back then.
"I like that you are silent, as if you disappeared,
You listen to me from a distance, but your voice cannot touch you.
It seems that your eyes have flown away, like a kiss that has sealed your mouth.
As everything fills my soul,
You emerge from all things, filled with my soul.
You are like my soul, a butterfly of dreams.
You are like the word melancholy.
I like that you are silent, as if you are gone.
You sound like you are lamenting, a butterfly wailing like a dove.
You hear me from a distance, my voice cannot touch you:
Let me be silent in your silence.
And let me speak with you in your silence,
Your silence is as bright as a lamp,
Simple as a ring, you are like the night, with loneliness and stars.
Your silence is the silence of the stars, distant and bright.
I like that you are silent,
As if you disappeared, far away and sad,
As if you are already dead.
At that time, a word and a smile were enough.
And I will feel happy,
I feel happy because it's not true. "Shen Zhen actually memorized her words without missing a word.
I was surprised that memorizing a mathematical formula before could make her suffer to death, but now that she can memorize such a finished foreign poem so fluently, it really impresses me.
Seeing my surprised expression, Shen Zhen really laughed out loud and said, "I know you want to be surprised. The reason why I recite this poem so fluently is not only because she was the girl's favorite during her lifetime, but it could also be My favorite in my life."
After drinking a sip of lemonade, Shen Zhen continued to preach: "When I was studying in Japan, there were many Chinese people, so the school established a Chinese Association of Chinese Associations. There are various associations in it. Everyone is Chinese, so the cohesion is very strong. , The members of other clubs will also participate, or contribute money or contribute to any club that has something to do. Remember that time when I told you that I fell in love with a boy, it was the poetry club that organized a poetry reading contest. When I entered the contest It was the poem that was read. At that time, Yang Yining was a judge in the audience, and his eyes suddenly lit up."
Speaking of not reunion with Yang Yining, Shen Zhen smiled bitterly, opened her lips slightly, and said softly: "If time can be turned back, how I wish I didn't meet him again."