When I first learned of his death, I was embarrassed every day, as if I had lost my soul.
The manager has always been nice to me, but later he took care of me even more because he knew something about my relationship with Nan Feng.
During the days of his death, the manager often dragged me out of the drunk place.
During that time, I made a lot. I don't know whether it was because I felt that I could no longer easily get tens of thousands of dollars in my subconscious mind, or I made money like turning my grief and anger into my power going crazy.
In short, during that time, I almost always refused to come. I didn't touch me too much and accepted it. Everyone watched me play and introduced my bastard friends to wipe my oil.
I broke the jar and was not angry.
Suddenly, in the entire downstairs field, there was a lot of wind and water.
But in this way, I will drink a lot of wine every day, and often at the end of a session, I can get a tip that I could only get two or three days lower than before.
I often get drunk, the guests have already left, I just lay in the private room and drowsy.
Until one time, the manager couldn't stand it anymore.
After dragging me back to the lounge as usual, I poured a bucket of ice water on my face.
I suddenly woke up from the chaos, suddenly got up from the ground and shook the cold water on my body. In the twelfth lunar month of winter, like a bucket of water splashed on my body, even my soul was awake.
As I tremble, the money fell through the gap between my shorts and the middle of my underwear.
All the money fell into the underground water, I knelt down and started picking it up, and gradually started to cry.
The manager slapped me and I was completely awake.
Dressed in the clothes of the manager, he went back to the dormitory just as wet.
When I went back, everyone was asleep, and I lay in a ****, staring at the ceiling of empty **** in a daze.
Staring at me, I laughed.
I'm still a selfish person. At that time, I suddenly began to rejoice that he was dead.
If he is not dead, perhaps, all his tenderness is just a disguise for showing his true face in front of me.
Time and time again, every time, he showed me a more unbearable self.
I may not be able to refuse his request to let me accompany him to take drugs, but that kind of abnormal love, I am real, really, unacceptable.
Fortunately, his death will let me one day not have to face such a choice.
What is it? In his eyes, I am nothing more than a plaything of him. My so-called liking is not worth mentioning to him.
He was just gradually letting me accompany him, take medicine with him, and accompany him crazy.
But now it's alright, he is dead, and everything is over.
It is impossible to say not to be sad.
He was my first time, in that feasting world, for the first time to let go of paranoia and low self-esteem, but he was still the first person to love to the bottom of my heart.
It was the first time that my gaze followed him and followed him uncontrollably.
I never felt that I, with such a strong self-control ability, turned out to be his mistress indirectly, and even accompany him on drugs, and almost accompany him to make abnormal love.
I shouldn't be like this.
This is not my original intention to set foot in this field. I just hope to make money on my own in a short period of time, instead of using packaged fake love or my unilateral love, to get something for nothing, with my heart, in exchange for money.
I lay in the ** for a long time, without eating or drinking, the tutor’s phone calls, and the manager’s phone calls.
After lying down for a long time, I finally figured it out.
I should thank him. Before I stepped into the abyss, the ontology was destroyed.
Although, for a long time, I will unconsciously think of him, think of the feeling of spinning around the world.
I often dream, crying and waking up by myself, dreaming that we will have a scene when we are together.
It is clearly a happy dream, open your eyes, and there are indeed tears on your face.
No wonder, after all, it was the first love, slowly, I only a little bit, escaped the sea of misery that missed and demons brought me into.
Before Lucy's smoke was lit, I thought I had escaped from this memory, and I thought I would never think of this man again.
In fact, he has always been in my heart, ready to move, but I force myself to forget, force myself not to remember, and force myself not to open this beautiful but cruel memory.
But at the moment when the smell of smoke mixed with oxygen penetrated into my nasal cavity, this memory, from the chest cavity, through the atrium, slipped out a little while taking advantage of one of my not paying attention.
Lucy smoked three cigarettes in a row. During these three cigarettes, my mind was like playing a movie, replaying this memory that I didn't want to pick up.
At the moment Lucy was about to pinch it out, I blocked it with my hand and tried to suck it again.
As a result, I was choked again without a surprise, Lucy smiled and patted me on the back.
There was a buzz in my mind, and the voice of the south wind rang out. He said, I didn't expect you to even smoke.
I coughed a few times and took a few sips of water.
Lucy said, I didn't expect that you wouldn't even smoke cigarettes.
At that moment, the two voices suddenly overlapped, and I was a little dizzy and stood up abruptly.
Lucy was taken aback by me, "What's the matter?"
I shook my head, smiled, and said to myself, Nan Feng, you can't. Once Duan Qiao is gone, you will run out unobservantly. It's time and should be forgotten.
During the time he left, in my cognition, for the first time, I came into contact with the so-called sex.
I was a little surprised, but at the same time I couldn't understand it.
I used to run upstairs when I was crazy, looking for his friends. I wanted to ask if Nan Feng was really dead.
I can't believe that the news in the news is true.
And those so-called friends who had been so gentle on me because of the south wind, when they saw me, a joking expression appeared on their faces.
When I said Nan Fengde's name, they threw me away like a virus.
They yelled at me, saying that I was unlucky.
I was stunned there, feeling worthless for the south wind, no
At that time, whether he was for me or surrounding other things, the money he used to consume for these friends was worthless.
I felt chills for him, but standing there and being stared at like a monster by them, I realized what I am, but the rubbish played by Nan Feng, now Nan Feng is gone, I am in their eyes , Is worthless.
Later, I convinced myself that even if it was very unbearable, as long as Nan Feng liked it and was obsessed with that kind of deformity, it would be the best place to die because of that.
And now, it's time to say goodbye to Nanfeng.