"Thank you."
Feng Zhiwei grabbed the edge of the bed, his hands softened, and he almost fell - there were too many accidents today.
Just like saying "I'm sorry" to her, Gu Nanyi, who never knew how to thank her, suddenly thanked her at this inexplicable time.
What is his condition now
Young Master Gu has now returned to the days when Feng Zhiwei was seriously ill. During those heavy and oppressive nights, he slept on the footrest, thinking over and over again, what should he say when she wakes up and looks down, "wake up"? Crap, say "did you sleep well?" or crap, say "all right?" Biggest crap in the world.
He has never said nonsense in his life, and he said what he had to say.
Those nights slipped by minute by minute, and he couldn't wait for her to wake up. During such a long, almost hopeless wait, in those heavy expressions and sighs, he unexpectedly gradually understood, what was in his heart That strange and heavy thing, what they call fear and anxiety, is very faint, but it finally happened for the first time in his blank world for more than ten years.
Just like the lightness of the wind in his heart when she peeled walnuts for him with a smile in the past, the gentleness of clouds in his heart when she played the leaf flute with him and said he wanted to find him, just like the softness in his heart when she changed his female clothes with a wicked smile Soft and moist like rain, now he understands, it is the joy, happiness, joy they used to say when they were young...all the bright and cheerful emotions.
Just like the heaviness of being afraid of her death, that's called fear, and the feeling of coldness in the heart when thinking of her dying, that's called sadness... He finally understood in those days.
Maybe it is still far from the real feeling, maybe it is complicated and incomprehensible for a while, but it is the full and bright color that he gradually began to paint in his doomed barren and pale life.
These are all given by Feng Zhiwei, and no one else can have them.
He suddenly understood that the only thing he should say to her was thank you.
Thank you for her existence, thank you for her patience, thank you for opening his closed fortress and letting him see a little bright world.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with not knowing these things before, but I think it’s better to know a little bit about them now.
Because if he understood, he would be more like Feng Zhiwei, like all those people who said he was different, then he would not be like last time, he didn't even know that Feng Zhiwei was dying.
So you should tell her, thank you.
Gu Nanyi felt that if you want to say something, you must say it. Last time you waited for so long, you almost never could say it to her. Naturally, you can't give up this time.
After he finished speaking, he realized what was on his mind, and continued to sleep with the quilt in his arms.
A certain poor person was so startled that he couldn't fall asleep. Feng Zhiwei stared at him from above, seeing that he fell asleep again after throwing a stone at someone, she got so angry that she stretched out her hand to shove him , "Hey, hey, don't sleep, get up and explain clearly."
Young Master Gu opened his eyes, his eyes were as clear as autumn water, "What?"
He has forgotten.
Feng Zhiwei looked at him helplessly, "You say thank you."
"Oh." Young Master Gu thought for a while, patted his heart, and said slowly, "When you are about to die, it's very sad here, thank you for letting me understand what it means to be sad."
Thank you for letting me know what it means to be sad.
Feng Zhiwei looked deeply at the man who was holding his heart tightly and thanked her solemnly for "knowing how sad", and slowly bit his lower lip. After a long time, the circles of his eyes gradually turned a layer of red.
The moonlight in the house was fading and flickering, drifting up and down like mist, Gu Nanyi sank in half of the moon shadow, looking peaceful and serene, only Feng Zhiwei knew that his tranquility and serenity were not the kind of warmth and beauty of the world, he has always lived In the indifferent and noisy world, living in the eternal ice house.
There is a kind of person in this world who sinks in the depths of icy water and lives a blank life. The simplest happiness and the most turbulent pain in the world are as indifferent to them as ever.
Only those who grew up alone in such a cold world can understand the weight of this somewhat absurd and desolate sentence.
Looking at him, Feng Zhiwei only felt a dull pain in her heart—after having known him for so long, she knocked on his door, but she was the first to teach him about sadness and pain.
"No." For a long time, Feng Zhiwei leaned down slightly, lying on the edge of the bed, and murmured as if vowing to the man under the moonlight who was motionless and frozen like a jade carving: "Don't let you only know sadness, no, more than that." These."
"I want you to get out of the cage that traps you. I want you to see that the world is not just the one foot and three inches in front of your eyes. I want you to stop being a man in a trap and have to get eight yuan for each bowl of meat. I want you Learn to look me in the face, I want you to know how to cry, laugh, care about and quarrel, know, love."
After recuperating for a while, before she recovered, Feng Zhiwei threw herself into a new round of busy work. The war in southern Fujian had begun, and Ning Yi had already rushed to the front. The basis of everything in the South China Sea, but many details must be handled by her personally.
That night, she still talked to Gu Nanyi about asking that famous doctor to treat Ning Yi's eyes, but Gu Nanyi kept silent and said in a hurry: "I can't order him."
This sentence moved Feng Zhiwei's heart - what does this mean? This tone seems to be that the two are in the same organization and have equal status, so Gu Nanyi can't order it
"Let me see him, I'll tell him." Feng Zhiwei felt that if she met this person, many mysteries in her heart might be solved.
Who knew that Young Master Gu refused directly, saying: "You are all right, he is going back to the Imperial Capital, there may be something wrong there."
Feng Zhiwei had no choice but to put this matter aside, and wanted to untie the bell and needed someone to tie the bell. It would be great if he could find the people who released the Gu, but most of those people were in southern Fujian, so it would be better to count on Ning Yi found it by himself.
She travels non-stop between the affairs department and the government every day, first to deal with the food grabbing incident that day, when Ning Yi was around, she was seriously ill, Zhou Xizhong was full of evil fire and had nowhere to go, now she was caught, and she was nagging all day long To put it bluntly, it’s fine to open a warehouse without authorization, but two and a half pairs of the five grain guards in the Hirano grain depot were cut down! Anyway, leave a guard!