Why do you want to give up on yourself
It wasn't your fault in the first place, so the atonement should be enough.
He sat cross-legged on the side of the road silently, no longer feeling that the ground was dirty, thought for a long time, and wrote with a pen.
Zhiwei.
Remember that sentence
"I want you to get out of the cage that traps you. I want you to see that the world is not just the one foot and three inches in front of your eyes. I want you not to always be a man in a trap and have to get eight yuan for each bowl of meat. I want you to learn Look at me with your eyes, I want you to know how to cry, how to laugh, how to care about and quarrel, know how to love."
"When I finally get out of the prison of my heart one day, and see a charming and graceful person one foot and three inches away, take off my suit and learn to eat meat and allow seven or nine yuan, and look forward to this vast new world with new eyes, the first Once I knew how to cry, how to laugh, how to care about and quarrel, but when I want to tell you all this, the sky is vast and the sea is empty, but where are you?"
"Since this is the case, what use is there for me to live in this broken cocoon? It's better to be buried in a three-foot thin coffin and a sackcloth."
After finishing writing, he threw away the pen, buried the scroll under the tree casually, and rode away without looking back.
The early winter wind blows, and there are rustling sounds in the nearby woods, like the sound of countless fallen leaves returning to their roots.
This day is the winter solstice.
It is said that during the winter solstice, there should be various rituals to celebrate the winter solstice in the palace, but Ning Yi has not enriched the harem, even the concubines from the previous palace have dispersed, and there is no empress dowager in the palace, so these etiquettes can be saved.
The brazier fire was raging in the warm pavilion of the main hall, and Ning Cheng was instructing the servants to add the brazier. The door curtain was lifted, and Ning Yi, who was in light fur and thin shirt, came in, took a casual look, and said, "Why do you have so many braziers? Do you want to heat me to death?"
Ning Cheng slapped his head, and then remembered that His Majesty's old illness has been cured now, and there is no need to be so careful not to be cold in winter.
He awkwardly went out with the extra brazier in his hand, Ning Yi quietly sat down in front of the couch, staring at the fire without saying a word.
His old disease was cured, and she was cured.
The wine in the Rimi Palace was originally poisonous, but when she came, she brought the holy medicine "Poluoxiang" on her body. The aroma and the poison of the wine were neutralized, and it was the medicine for heat insulation in the world. The cold poison dispelled, his intermittent coma and hemoptysis in those few days were actually just a necessary process to clear away the silt accumulated for many years, and when he saw her die at the end, he was startled for a moment, and a mouthful of blood was completely spurted out from the deepest part, and he was completely disease-free from then on. , Changjianjiuan.
When Hua Qiong brought the antidote, he had already figured it out. The so-called antidote was just a tonic. She had never poisoned him. The poison that was put in the pot of wine back then was intended to be poisoned by his father, but he didn't expect , the father did not go down to the bottom of the secret hall until his death.
That year, Gu Nanyi hugged her and jumped off the top of the palace city. He fainted immediately. Ning Cheng and his followers were busy saving him. In the chaos, no one knew what happened. When he woke up, People are gone.
He can't accept such a result, what is this? She really wants to turn into ashes and sink into the mud in front of him, so that even if he digs three feet into the ground, he won't be able to find her anymore
He supported the sick body, and checked the corpses one by one in the snow. Not many people died, except for those who were swept down by Gu Nanyi's palm, and those who saw Gu Nanyi's face was too shocked and were trampled to death. Regardless of the mess and stench, they turned over the corpses one by one, and then let out a long sigh of relief.
without her.
However, if he didn't witness her life and death with his own eyes, how would he live this life with this long-hanging question? If Tianya could not see her in exchange for her life, he would be willing, but he was even more afraid of her death, and he didn't even know where the place of worship was.
In the spring of the next year, he disregarded the minister's obstruction of the southern tour, and there were many things to take back the Dacheng territory to receive the Dacheng army, but he threw all these things to Ning Ji, saying that this was the punishment for Ning Ji's betrayal at the beginning, and he went all the way south.
To the south, Jianghuai, Longnan, Longbei, Minnan, Nanhai... all the way, the footsteps of him and her.
Even Jiyang Mountain has been climbed by himself, and he walked down the original road exactly. The hut in front of the cliff remembered her face pressed against his knees, and the mess on the grass under the cliff seemed to be the place where he sat with her. The trace, the squirrel hole on the pine tree in the woods, seemed to be the same one as before. He took out a handful of pine nuts and ate them. It was bitter and not as sweet as before.
The sea breeze in Anlanyu was still so ethereal and silent, and the ups and downs of the boat made people slightly intoxicated. With his eyes closed, he slowly took out a letter in his arms.
That year in the Wei Mansion, she tried to force him away with a bowl of worm soup to hide the letter box, but one letter still fell into his hands.
"Zhiwei, crossing the sea from Anlanyu today...I always think of the day at the ancestral hall, the voices of the people were like the tide, and then you fell into my arms, as if the sea suddenly poured..."
If at this moment the sea water is pouring in exchange for her return, he is also willing.
Slowly retracting the letter, his fingertips moved slightly in his arms and touched another piece of paper.
His fingers froze, and he pulled them out slowly after a long while. The letter was well preserved, and the corners were not turned up. He rubbed his fingers lightly on the envelope, but he didn't open it.
He secretly found this letter in the cracks of her study in the Wei Mansion, cherished it and spent three months reading it bit by bit. In the book, I couldn't resist chewing and thinking again and again, until now, every sentence and every word has long been familiar by heart.
"Ning Yi... when the time comes, I want to hear the sound of the reeds swaying in the wind like a sea tide, or there will be a bird falling feathers on my lapel, um... Would you like to listen to it again?"
Zhiwei, I am willing.
But that piece of reed blooms every year, and you never look back with a smile and stand by my side.
In the abandoned temple on the top of the mountain, he slowly sat down on the position where she had been dependent on at the beginning. In the damp, cold and light mist, he took out the flute in his arms, and slowly played "Jiangshan Dream".
The country is like a dream, people are in a dream, and the nightmare has not yet woken up, when will they get out
At the end of the day, when Ning Cheng brought water, he inadvertently lowered his head, and suddenly saw a star of white hair protruding from his temple.
That trace of white was so bright in the pitch blackness that he stared at it blankly, only to realize that the time was far away in a trance.