"Shaoheng, wake up, Shen Mucheng is dead! How long are you going to lie to yourself?"
"He's dead, he's dead!"
"died!"
…
"!!!" Luo Shaoheng suddenly sat up from the bed, panting heavily while propping up the quilt, the temperature of the air conditioner in the room was very low, but there was a thin layer of sweat on his back and forehead.
After his breathing stabilized, he leaned his back against the head of the bed and reached out to turn on the wall lamp beside him. The soft orange light illuminates the surroundings of the bed, bringing some warmth in the cool night, preventing him from being surrounded by the coldness of his dreams.
There seemed to be a noisy echo in his ears. The scene in the dream was so clear and real that he couldn't bear it even though he knew it was a dream.
From the first time he rescued Shen Mucheng in the alley near the school, this dream was like a replayed movie, replaying their past from the beginning, and as a bystander, he watched himself from childhood Ignorant to full of desolation.
His mother's undisguised anger, the blue and white teacup smashed at his feet, and the slap on his face, including the pain when his nails cut his face, he still remembers it clearly, as if he had experienced it all over again. once.
After all, he was not a filial son. For a man, he chose to disobey the family who had raised him for many years, and failed his father and mother's expectations.
However, that person did not accompany him to complete the promised life.
Growing up in Luo's family since he was a child, he has professional teachers who taught him what to do and what not to do, and what kind of talent he should be in line with the identity of the Luo family. He once thought that he would just live his whole life like this, and he couldn't say whether it was good or bad, after all, he had lived like this for more than ten years.
But he didn't expect that he would meet that person named Shen Mucheng.
Those two years with Shen Mucheng were the most cherished and happiest days in his life. By Shen Mucheng's side, he didn't have to worry about the people around him, and he didn't have to stick to the rules. He could yell and laugh unscrupulously, and even Get drunk and pass out on the street, because someone will always carry him back.
At that time, Shen Mucheng, who had lost his memory, only had him in his eyes, and he carefully put him on the tip of his heart.
"Shen Mu City."
Luo Shaoheng sighed, raised his hand to hold his heart, closed his eyes slowly, and showed a self-deprecating wry smile.
Ten years have passed, and Shen Mucheng has been gone for ten years, why can't I forget it
Because he resisted this possibility in his heart, he didn't want to lose the little things he had with Shen Mucheng from the beginning to the end, whether it was joys and sorrows or separations, as long as it was about that person, he was unwilling to lose.
Turning his head to look at the exquisite small desk calendar on the side cabinet, his gaze stayed on the date circled with a red pen, and Luo Shaoheng's eyes were slightly sad.
Time flies, and it's time to see you again.
Luo Shaoheng lifted the quilt and got out of bed, washed up briefly, took the car keys and went out.
It was only past six o'clock in the morning, and Luo Shaoheng was the only car on the way to the suburban cemetery, and it felt a bit quiet and deserted.
When he arrived at the place, he parked the car and went to the cemetery. The guards of the cemetery dozed off in the guard room and did not notice his arrival.
The sunrise was covered by layers of gray clouds, and the sky looked a bit dark. The cemetery in the suburbs was very quiet, and there was a serene atmosphere around, except for the occasional rustling sound of the breeze.
Luo Shaoheng stopped in front of the tombstone in Shenmu City. After being woken up from a dream in the morning, his heartbeat like a drum finally calmed down. In front of this person, he always felt an inexplicable sense of peace of mind.
Reaching out his hand to take off a small leaf from the tombstone, he smiled at the person in the photo and said, "I've come to see you, isn't it too early?"
The person in the photo couldn't answer him. After standing quietly for a long while, Luo Shaoheng simply found a place to sit down, and while tidying up the newly sprouted grass in front of the tombstone, he said, "I haven't seen you for half a year. Even the grass on the grave They have grown out, they came too often before, someone told me that it would disturb your rest, I believed it was true, I was afraid that you would have a bad life over there because of me, so you would come less often, I don’t know if it’s right wrong."
"I've been dreaming about you for a long time. You must be curious about what you dreamed about." After clearing the grass, Luo Shaoheng sat cross-legged, not paying attention to the fine sand and dust on the ground, as if for a long time In the past, the two chatted and said, "It's been a long time, but I actually forgot how long it was. It probably started when you left. It's been so long that sometimes I can't tell when it's a dream and what is it." It's time for reality."
"But it's always good to be able to dream of you, otherwise what if I forget what you look like one day?" Luo Shaoheng stretched out a hand to touch the black and white photo of Shenmu City on the tombstone, and said with a smile, "If I forget You, will you blame me? What about you, have you forgotten me? "
The person in the photo didn't have the slightest expression on his face. He couldn't hear what Luo Shaoheng was saying, let alone respond to him.
Luo Shaoheng didn't care, and still said to himself: "I tell you this every time I come here, I don't know if you will be annoying, but if it's annoying, I can't hear you anyway. I was thinking, maybe one day I can see you back when I open the door, but it’s impossible to think about it, so many years have passed, how can you still remember the way back? "
Luo Shaoheng stopped here, as if waiting for an answer, and looked at the person in the photo with a stubborn gaze, just like many years ago.
The sun was suppressed behind the dark clouds, and the atmosphere in the cemetery was extremely oppressive, with a pressing heaviness. The distance between yin and yang was probably the furthest distance in the world, and the person he was looking forward to would not respond to any of his words after all.
After a long silence, there seemed to be a crack in Luo Shaoheng's calm expression. The smile on his face slowly subsided, and he looked at Shen Mucheng quietly, and said with astringent tone: "Have you really forgotten? So you haven't seen it for so many years." return."
It was very quiet all around, and the only answer to him was the low-pitched wind in the cemetery, whimpering, as if crying.
Luo Shaoheng carefully traced the photos on the tombstone with his fingers, his fingertips trembled slightly, and the sadness in his eyes almost overflowed: "Shen Mucheng, if I left with you back then, wouldn't I not have to use it now?" So sad?" He put one hand on the ground, leaned forward, and planted a light kiss on the black and white photo of Shen Mucheng, then got up and sat down, leaning against the tombstone, slowly closed his eyes and said softly, "But You never know how difficult it is to live alone."
I have spent ten years waiting for you, but it seems like I have spent my whole life.
The author has something to say: I really didn't think about writing their story before, so I wrote an extra ending in other articles. But your waiting moved me and made everyone wait for a long time. The full text is about 130,000 to 150,000 words. It is written from ten years later interspersed with memories, overturning and rewriting what was written before, so there will be discrepancies in details and the timeline. Readjustment, girls who have read it don't care, and it doesn't matter if they haven't read it. The focus is on this article, the ending he.