On the way back, Chen Zhan's words just now echoed in Shen Mucheng's ears. His hand holding the steering wheel became tighter and tighter, and the speed of the car became faster and faster. It turned out that the journey of more than half an hour took less than two hours. For ten minutes, he didn't even pay attention to the speeding in the urban area.
Luo Shaoheng went out with Wang Ma when he was bored at home today. There would be no one at home. As soon as Shen Mucheng got home, he went directly to the study. After the computer was turned on, he couldn't wait to insert the USB flash drive and found a folder named "Luo Shaoheng" Then click to open.
The folders are full of video files, and the dates are from the years when Luo Shaoheng was hospitalized.
The mouse arrow stopped on the first video, and Shen Mucheng paused for half a minute before clicking on it.
The video is very quiet, and the picture is a bit dark. Judging from the light coming in from the window, it should be evening. Luo Shaoheng is wearing a long-sleeved shirt and sitting on a stool by the window. The camera only captures his back.
The video is more than half an hour long, and he has been sitting in front of the window, motionless.
If it wasn't for the fact that the time in the lower right corner of the screen was still moving, Shen Mucheng almost thought the video was paused.
From the video, you can see that there is a small forest outside the window, Shen Mucheng couldn't help wondering, what is there to see there, can he watch it for so long
The time in the second video shows that it is two o'clock in the morning. Luo Shaoheng is already asleep, but the light is still on in the room. He is curled up in the middle of the bed with his back arched.
He slept very restlessly, his fingers clenched the sheets under him tightly, his body curled up into a ball, and suddenly he jumped up from the bed like a frightened bird, and shouted the name of Shen Mucheng in panic.
His shout startled Shen Mucheng, and he coaxed subconsciously: "Don't cry, don't cry." He reached out his hand to help him wipe his tears, but he didn't realize until his hand touched the computer screen, his fingers froze. In the middle of the sky, he seemed a little at a loss, and finally retracted weakly, clenched into a fist.
In the video, Luo Shaoheng didn't fall back asleep after waking up, with his arms around his knees, his shoulders trembling.
His thin appearance and his suppressed cries that were almost inaudible made Shen Mucheng's whole heart twisted into a ball, and he was almost distressed to death. This was Luo Shaoheng's first year in the nursing home, so how did he survive the remaining days? Do you stare at the window in a daze every day? Do you wake up in a dream like this every day? He is so sad, but no one can protect him.
Shen Mucheng wanted to hug him so much, but he couldn't. When Luo Shaoheng needed him the most, he was never by his side.
In the following videos, Luo Shaoheng's condition is getting worse and worse. It is very different from the Luo Shaoheng that Shen Mucheng saw on the camera before. In one of the videos, he saw what Chen Zhan said, Luo Shaoheng was hallucinating.
In the video, Luo Shaoheng is sitting in front of the easel, holding a pencil and drawing. The person in the painting is Shen Mucheng. He turned his head and said something while painting, and occasionally showed a faint smile. His demeanor and behavior were better than before It's much better in the video, it's almost invisible that he's suffering from depression and it's serious.
However, there was no one else around him at that time, and what he communicated with was just the people in his hallucinations.
There are several more of the same video. He is living in the illusion created by himself, and his body is getting weaker day by day, but there is an inexplicable brilliance in his eyes. Maybe he is very aware of his situation, so he chooses to let it go.
The mouse stopped on the next video, Shen Mucheng didn't click any more, his fingers were trembling slightly, his body was tense, and he tried his best to suppress the trembling in his heart.
After a long time, he closed the computer, got up and went to Luo Shaoheng's previous room.
Luo Shaoheng has been living in the master bedroom since he was awakened by a nightmare that night, but his things are still in the guest bedroom.
Shen Mucheng remembered that he put things like photo albums and cameras in the drawer beside the bed, and when he went over to look, they were indeed there.
He didn't notice it before, but now he realized that Luo Shaoheng had brought a lot of things, and the drawers were full.
There was a small brown wooden sign on the photo album. The moment he saw it, Shen Mucheng felt a little familiar. He picked it up and saw that there was a small line of words engraved on it - peace in this world, wishing you peace forever.
The inscription next to the small print is his name.
"Peace and stability in this world, and peace in eternity." He read the words slowly, and the familiarity in his heart became deeper and deeper, just like seeing the photo album and the video in the camera before, vague information flashed in his mind, and finally merged into Two words - Yunshan.
Speaking of the fact that he didn’t know about Yunshan at the beginning, but this place name suddenly flashed in his mind once in a while, he didn’t pay attention to it at first, but later he thought of it more and more, and he felt a strong desire to go to this place. The desire to see it, so I asked someone to check it out, but I didn't expect this place to really exist.
After arriving at Yunshan, he felt a very subtle feeling there. He found that his cold and silent heart seemed to have found a place to belong, and he felt an indescribable sense of security.
But that's all, he didn't have any more feelings, he just thought that he had been in the world for too long, was contaminated with too much fame and fortune, and was seeking the soothing power of Buddhism in his heart.
He remembered seeing these wooden signs in the small market on the top of the mountain, and Shen Yuntu bought a few of them freshly. At that time, he seemed to hear someone calling his name... Wait!
Shen Mucheng suddenly remembered that Luo Shaoheng said that he opened a resort in Yunshan, and besides him, he didn't know anyone else in Yunshang, so does it mean that he heard correctly at that time, the person who called him was Luo Shaoheng!
If this is the case, then they have actually met before, but he didn't go to verify it, which is why he and Luo Shaoheng missed it for so long.
Thinking about it now, he would want to go there because he had agreed with Luo Shaoheng to spend his whole life there.
Thinking of this, Shen Mucheng felt very regretful, if he had gone back then, maybe they could have met earlier.
Putting the wooden sign back in the drawer, he picked up the photo album next to him to look at it. After looking at it for a while, he felt that Luo Shaoheng's bright smile in the photo and the lifeless look in the video just now switched back and forth in his mind. Two completely different Luo Shaoheng , a face full of smiles, and a face full of tears, spinning in his mind like a spinning top, as if trying to mess up all the nerves in his brain.
Shen Mucheng closed his eyes slightly, and shook his head lightly, trying to get rid of the lingering pain in his head. He took a few deep breaths, and waited for the pain to ease a little before putting down the album and picking up the diary next to him. open.
——The dream is more and more frequent, maybe this is a sign, let the dream tell me that he is thinking of me, and I miss him as always, I can't count how many years I have, but one day I can meet in that place His.
—I have been dreaming about him recently. He is still the same as before, but I am no longer the one he likes. I am really afraid that he will recognize me next time we meet.
…
—Shen Mucheng, I saw someone who looked like you in Yunshan today, I thought I was wrong, but how could I be wrong
The diary is very short, and some of them are just a sentence or two. From the diary, Shen Mucheng can confirm that it was indeed Shen Luo Shaoheng who called him in Yunshan.
The handwriting on this page was a bit sloppy, and the following words were written with too much force, which tore through the paper. You can imagine how emotional Luo Shaoheng was at that time.
"It's me, you read that right." He whispered, his fingers lightly stroked the line of writing, and the slightly concave and convex lines ran across his fingertips and imprinted on his heart.
—Shen Mucheng, I saw you again in the urban area today, I read it right, right, you are still alive, right? Then why don't you come back? Did you forget me
— Shenmu City... Shenmu City...
—Exchange the luck of the rest of my life for the opportunity to spend the rest of my life with you.
—May the god of luck always be with you.
The last record was a few days ago, Shen Mucheng turned the diary to the page that said "use the luck of the rest of my life to exchange the opportunity to spend the rest of my life with you", read it several times, and finally said softly: "I promise you."
There was a bookmark at the back of the diary, and Shen Mucheng turned it over, and found that there was something written on that page, not a diary, but an itinerary or something like that.
Seeing these records, his first reaction was what Chen Zhan called "promises". Those that had been ticked off should be those that Luo Shaoheng had completed over the years.
His gaze rested on the three words "Guyan Temple" at the bottom. He knew this stone temple, and it was quite famous. He also went there once with the old man when he was young. Back then, the old man asked the bodhi son in the temple to replace him Lettering prayer...
bodhi seed...
These three words made his heart skip a beat. Subconsciously, he looked like his right wrist, which was empty, but he somehow felt that something was missing, as if... there was something...
"Shen Mucheng, stretch out your hand and give you something."
"My greatest wish is for you to be safe."
... My greatest wish is that you are safe...
... wish, that you are safe...
... Peace and peace...
"Hmm!!" Shen Mucheng suddenly closed the diary in his hand, the severe pain in his head made him bend down, his forehead was pressed against the hard shell of the diary, and his head felt like it was about to explode!
"I have made an appointment with Master Liaochen. I will take you to see him next time. When shall we go?"
"Shen Mucheng, if you recover your memory, will you forget me?"
"Will you forget me?"
"Will you... forget me?"
…
"Shen Mucheng, do you really not remember me?"
"You really don't remember me?"
Shen Mucheng's expression was filled with great pain. In less than half a minute, his forehead was covered with dense sweat, which slid down from his forehead.
The great pain is like a string of memory in the brain being constantly pulled by someone. Some unknown words suddenly flow out from all corners of the brain, collide and then disperse separately. The feeling is like a sudden empty piece of memory. It was constantly filled, stuffed with things he didn't know, but disappeared without a trace in an instant, making it difficult for him to grasp and hold.
"Shaoheng..." He subconsciously pronounced the name, but these two words seemed to cast an unknown flame in his cold heart, and his soul burned with it.
After witnessing Luo Shaoheng's pain and anxiety over the years, forgetting about himself, even if he couldn't help himself, would make him feel like a betrayal.
How could I... forget you