After the love affair was over, Shen Mucheng helped Luo Shaoheng clean up in the hot spring. When his fingers penetrated into his body, the tight and humid feeling made the desire in his body that had not been completely eliminated resurface, but seeing his whole body limp and leaning Looking at his drowsy Luo Shaoheng, he still forcibly held back, quickly cleaned up the contents of his body, and carried him back to the tatami.
As soon as Luo Shaoheng returned to the tatami, his whole body collapsed on it, and he didn't even bother to move a finger.
Shen Mucheng went to fetch the bath towel, helped him up, wrapped the bath towel around him to dry off the water drops on his body, and then put on the bathrobe for him.
Luo Shaoheng let him fiddle with his body weakly, humming a few times following his movements.
Shen Mucheng tied the belt around the waist of his bathrobe, casually put the bathrobe on his body, and took a clean towel to wipe his hair.
Luo Shaoheng lowered his head cooperatively and asked him to wipe his hair. When he opened his eyes inadvertently, he just saw Shen Mucheng dormant quietly on his legs. Even though he was in a weak state after being released, the size of the thing was not small.
He looked at it for a few seconds, thinking that he was so refreshed and tired from being tossed by it just now, he couldn't help but stretched out his foot and teased it: "As expected of eating nutrient solution for several years, this size is okay, and I almost didn't get it die."
Shen Mucheng was amused by his praise, paused for a moment while wiping his hair, put away the towel and threw it aside, grabbed his ankle and pulled it up, kissed his instep and said: "Well, this is the only way I can forgive you for waiting. ten years."
Luo Shaoheng was just talking casually, but he didn't expect him to accept all the orders, and turned his back on the yellow accent, looking at him in disbelief: "Is there poison in your nutrient solution?!"
"Haha." Shen Mucheng couldn't help laughing out loud when he heard the words.
After reuniting for so long, this was the first time Luo Shaoheng saw him smiling so happily, so he couldn't help but take a few extra glances: "I haven't seen you smile like this for a long time."
There was a hint of exclamation in his voice, and a look of nostalgia on his face.
Shen Mucheng let go of his feet, reached out and pulled him into his arms, lowered his head and kissed his forehead and said: "I am very lucky, you are willing to wait for me for so many years."
Luo Shaoheng smiled, raised his head and kissed him back: "I'm also very lucky, you can come back to me."
The two of them enjoyed some alone time on the tatami mat in a hugging posture, before they casually packed up their things and went back.
Luo Shaoheng was tossed back and forth in the hot spring room several times, and he fell asleep shortly after he returned to the room and lay on the bed. Shen Mucheng looked at him quietly with his face propped up for a while before he lowered his head and kissed him. Then turn off the light and go to sleep.
Because of his exhaustion, Luo Shaoheng slept soundly in the first half of the night, but in the second half of the night, he began to dream. The dream was very simple, it was the scene of the cremation of Shenmu City's body repeatedly.
The dream mirror seemed to be turned on in slow motion, and every shot was infinitely slowed down. In the dream, it was as if someone had tapped his acupuncture points. He stood immobile in the funeral parlor, looking at Shen Mucheng's body in a trance. The corpse was pushed into the incinerator and did not react until the furnace door was about to close. The whole person rushed over, but was held back by the accompanying friend.
He watched helplessly as the furnace door closed in front of his eyes. A small door separated Yin and Yang, shut his lover on the other side of the world, and he couldn't get rid of the one that was pulling him no matter what. his hand.
"Let me go!!" Luo Shaoheng exclaimed, sat up suddenly from the bed, threw off the quilt and got out of bed, opened the cabinet next to the bed, and searched for something.
Shen Mucheng next to him was woken up by him, sat up quickly, reached out and pressed the light next to him, "What's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?"
Luo Shaoheng stopped searching, turned his head to look at him, his expression was a little dull, and there was still shocking fear in his wide-eyed eyes. He looked at Shen Mucheng for a few seconds, and as if he had suddenly reacted, he rushed over and hugged him tightly. He let out a moaning sound.
"What's wrong?" Shen Mucheng hurriedly hugged him, stretched out his hand to stroke his hair and said repeatedly, "Don't be afraid, I'm here."
"Hug me." Luo Shaoheng's voice came from his neck, with obvious choking, "Shen Mucheng, hug me..."
Shen Mucheng hugged him tightly as he said, comforting him in a low voice.
Luo Shaoheng's chest heaved violently, and he buried his head firmly on Shen Mucheng's shoulder, and sobs came from his mouth, almost sobbing, with uncontrollable grief.
After reuniting for such a long time, even though Luo Shaoheng has seen red eyes or shed tears, Shen Mucheng has never seen him break down like this. His cries are like sharp knives, and every sound is extremely accurate in Shen Mucheng's heart. It made him feel as if he saw Luo Shaoheng who was awakened in the middle of the night in the nursing home in the video, so sad and helpless.
Shen Mucheng didn't know what he had dreamed about to collapse like this, even the pajamas on his shoulders felt soaked by his tears, but he knew it must have something to do with him.
All the joys and sorrows of this person are related to themselves.
No matter how Shen Mucheng coaxed him, he didn't respond. He felt both guilty and distressed. In the end, he could only hold him and bowed his head to kiss his ears, and kept saying: "Hey, don't cry..."
And Luo Shaoheng still didn't seem to hear his words, tears kept falling, his shoulders shrugged violently, as if he wanted to cry all these years.
In the end, Shen Mucheng had no choice but to pull him away, held his face and kissed him, and silenced all his cries.
He kissed Luo Shaoheng repeatedly, coaxing and coaxing him, using all the methods he knew, finally calming him down a little, and slowly stopping his tears.
Gently wiping away the tears on his face with his thumb, Shen Mucheng whispered, "Don't cry, huh?"
Luo Shaoheng took a deep breath, raised his head to force back the tears in his eyes, took his hand to cover his eyes, and tried his best to control his emotions, but the ups and downs of his chest and shoulders still haven't slowed down.
Shen Mucheng helped him cover his eyes with one hand, took a few tissues from the paper box next to him with the other hand, and helped him dry the water stains on his face bit by bit.
"There's still a nose." Luo Shaoheng said nasally.
Shen Mucheng smiled, took a few more tissue papers and pressed them on his nose to help him blow his nose, after blowing, he threw it into the trash can under the bed, and took a few more paper towels and put them in his hand.
"Thank you." Luo Shaoheng took a tissue and wiped it again by himself, finally calming down a lot.
Shen Mucheng patted his hand, lifted the quilt and got off the bed, Luo Shaoheng quickly grabbed him: "Where are you going?"
"I'm not going anywhere, I'll pour you a glass of water." Shen Mucheng looked back at him and said, "Don't worry, I'm right here."
Only then did Luo Shaoheng let go of his hand, but he didn't let go of his heart. He sat on the bed and watched him go to the other side of the table to pour water.
Shen Mucheng poured a cup of hot water and handed it to him: "Drink some water first."
"Yeah." Luo Shaoheng took the water, lowered his head and drank it. After the glass of water went down, he felt much more comfortable. He put the glass on the side cabinet, and when he looked up, he saw Shen Mucheng sitting by the bed, his eyes worried. look at him.
"Is it better?" Shen Mucheng asked.
"En." Luo Shaoheng nodded, took his hand and said, "I'm fine, don't worry."
Shen Mucheng used his other hand to brush the sweat-soaked Liuhai on his forehead, leaned over and kissed his cold forehead: "Tell me, what's wrong? Did you dream about the past?"
Luo Shaoheng was silent for a while, and then said softly: "I dreamed about the day your body was cremated..."
Shen Mucheng was stunned for a moment, then heard him say again: "To be precise, the person who replaced you was cremated, but I didn't know it at the time."
Because I didn’t know, I thought you were the one who had the accident. There was no warning. In the end, all I was left with were the ashes and a lifeless tombstone. I couldn’t feel any warmth from that black and white photo, and I couldn’t get any information about it. your response.
Shen Mucheng guessed that the panic he just had was because of himself, but he didn't guess that it was such a dream.
When Luo Shaoheng spoke, the ending sound was still trembling, obviously not completely relieved from the fear in the dream, his hands were clasped and twisted uneasily, and his breathing still seemed a little short.
Even though it happened ten years ago, the impact and harm on him are still as real as yesterday. Shen Mucheng really can't imagine what kind of mood he had in burying and sweeping the grave for "myself" back then. , Can't think of it, and don't dare to think about it, he owes Luo Shaoheng too much.
Even if Luo Shaoheng said he didn't blame him and said that the two of them still had many days to be together, they both understood that the missing ten years in between were a regret that could never be made up, and it was also his guilt towards Luo Shaoheng for the rest of his life.
Seeing the undispelled paleness on Luo Shaoheng's face, he felt extremely distressed: "Shaoheng..."
"Listen to my conversation." Luo Shaoheng suddenly interrupted him, "For so many years, I have been talking to that unknown tombstone, but I have never gotten a response." He stretched out his hand to touch Shen Mucheng's face, fingertips all the way down from the wound on his eyebrows, slid over the corners of his eyes, nose... After carefully depicting his facial features, there is deep attachment and love in his eyes, and finally put his palms against him Rubbing lightly on his face, he murmured, "It's finally warm."
His palms were still sweating, and the latter sentence was endless, but Shen Mucheng understood what he meant - what was warm was body temperature, what was cold was the tombstone.
"I just dreamed about the day you were cremated, and you were pushed into the incinerator in front of me. At that moment, I felt like I was going to die. I always thought afterwards, how could I be willing?" Luo Shaoheng continued Said, his voice was a bit difficult when he said it later, "You clearly said you would come back a week before you left, but this week... I have been waiting for ten years, and every day I wake up I almost feel that I can't make it through it's..."
Shen Mucheng couldn't listen anymore, reached out his hand and pulled him into his arms, held his trembling hand and said: "It's my fault, I shouldn't be away for so long, don't be sad."
Luo Shaoheng took a few deep breaths, suppressed the oppressive astringency in his throat, and then slowly said: "I didn't bury the cremated ashes right away, because I couldn't bear it, and wanted to keep some thoughts for myself. Later, someone said that it would I am afraid that you will not be able to die, and I am afraid that you will not be able to rest in peace because of my willfulness, so I asked someone to choose a cemetery and a date, and buried the ashes."
At that time, he really thought that it was Shenmu City. On the day when the ashes were buried, he felt that not only Shenmu City was buried under the tombstone, but also him. From then on, he was destined not to be able to get out of that cemetery in his whole life, because the person he loved the most was buried there.
"I have also told others that if I die, please ask him to bury my ashes with you." Luo Shaoheng opened his fingers, inserted them into Shen Mucheng's fingers and clasped them tightly. The way I can think of to be with Shen Mucheng forever.
"Don't think about it." Shen Mucheng said in a deep voice, very dissatisfied with his attitude of not caring about life and death at all.
Luo Shaoheng smiled lightly, the corners of his eyes were still a little red, looked at him and said: "Shen Mucheng, I have imagined many times what I would do if I could see you again, should I hug you first, or should I ask you how you have been doing all these years?" where, but I never thought about it, and everything I envisioned made no sense."
You just used three words, and I was completely defeated.