001
I decided to divorce Zhuoyang just because of one sentence.
That night, Zhuo Yang hadn't come back after nine o'clock. After seven years of marriage, I knew he was busy with social events outside during this time, but my stomach was really hurting, as if my period was about to start.
I held my belly and called Zhuo Yang. It was because he bought a house halfway up the mountain. There was no ambulance available and I was not in a good condition to drive, so I had to call him.
The call was connected, and there was some noise on the other end, and some sweet voices. I didn't care about anything else and said directly: "Zhuo Yang, my stomach hurts so much."
In fact, two years ago, I was still a shepherd boy. At that time, Zhuoyang didn't come home, and I would sometimes use excuses such as stomachache, fire at home, thief at home, sprained ankle, etc. to make Zhuoyang run home.
However, the shepherd boy could deceive the simple Zhuang family once, twice, but not the third time. I just thought that I was pretty good, being able to deceive Zhuo Yang, who was shrewd in business, for a whole year.
Of course, a year later, Zhuoyang no longer believed in me, because the last time I made him lose a big order and also lost his credibility.
Zhuo Yang was furious. Whenever I called him, he would make sarcastic comments, "What's wrong? Is it your stomach aching again, or is it sour milk?"
In fact, Zhuo Yang is still very vulgar in bed. Alas, I just love the way he looks like an iceberg on the surface but a beast in bed.
Ahem—we’re getting off topic.
I haven't lied for a year, but I still felt guilty when I called this time.
But what I said was true...
My stomach really hurts, as if something is about to fall out.
Just like a year ago, Zhuo Yang didn't believe me. His voice on the phone sounded a bit charming and magnetic. I thought he must have drunk some wine and was a little bit in a trance. There was also some strange tenderness in his trance, "If you have a stomachache, just rub it yourself..."
Maybe he was so nice to me because he was drunk. But, my stomach really hurts... I held my stomach, and beads of sweat dripped down my forehead. I gritted my teeth and said, "Zhuo Yang... It really hurts..."
On the other end of the phone, Zhuo Yang was silent for a long time before he said, "Your integrity is gone."
I was about to answer when I heard a voice next to me, "Brother Zhuo, come here quickly. Why bother answering your wife's call? You know, this big business only comes once in your life, but you can have countless wives..."
At that moment, I almost forgot about my stomachache and just wanted to jump up and have a big quarrel with the person who was talking nonsense, but Zhuo Yang had already decisively hung up the phone.
When the mechanical female voice mercilessly reminded me that the other party had hung up and turned off the phone, I felt something warm in my legs and slid down very quickly...
I thought it was my period which hadn't come for a long time.
When I was young, I once fell into the water. That incident not only made me afraid of rivers, oceans, and even water, but also left me with a serious illness - irregular menstruation.
Before this time, I hadn't had my period for two months. I was used to it because it happens to me all the time. Although I have been taking medicine and seeing doctors over the years, it seems to be of no use...
But, I guess being a careless mother, I thought it was just a piece of dirty blood.
But, she is actually a little life.
I don't have much love for children, because as Zhuo Yang said, I am still a child myself, a child, a shepherd boy, so how can I educate and raise my offspring
Look, this may be the reason why Zhuoyang doesn’t want my child.
After the baby was aborted, I was actually a little sad. I am not young anymore. I have been married for seven years. Although I don’t work and don’t do housework, I am not far from looking like a yellow-faced woman.
Strictly speaking, I am actually a yellow-faced woman. Sallow skin, long hair that has not been trimmed for a long time, wrinkles around the corners of my eyes, and large pores on my cheeks are the cruelest marks that time leaves on a woman.
On the contrary, Zhuo Yang is truly ageless. A thirty-year-old is actually no different from a twenty-year-old, except that his conversation is more interesting.
Alas, this is the difference between men and women, and the same goes for children. I don’t care. I have taken so many medicines anyway. Even if I know I have a child, I am afraid I can’t keep it. But Zhuoyang is different.
He showed me a rare sense of guilt for the loss of this child.
Zhuoyang put aside his business and stayed with me in the hospital for seven days.
Although he has to work during the day, he still comes to see me at night and brings me all kinds of delicious food.
Zhuo Yang is good-looking, and his masculine temperament is supported by his career. It must be said that he shines wherever he goes. And no matter how glamorous he is, he still has to return to his nest at night, to a yellow-faced woman like me. So it’s no wonder that the young nurses would say to me with envy and jealousy: "Oh, Mrs. Zhuo, you are so happy..."
Of course, every time they said that, I would act shy and say, “No, no, it’s just so-so…” Then, I fell asleep peacefully among a group of nurses who were grinding their teeth.
But, I want to say, when it comes to happiness, only you know how it feels.
However, this kind of illusory happiness, like flowers in the mirror and the moon in the water, is also short-lived. A week later, I was discharged from the hospital, and Zhuo Yang returned to his usual cold and icy appearance.
When we were discharged from the hospital, he walked in front of me. His legs were so long that I had to struggle to keep up with him.
However, he didn't wait for me. Instead, I couldn't keep up and slowly stopped.
The glass of the hospital's main door reflected two men and women who were not a good match or a different match. The man was tall and handsome, and his every move was that of a successful man, while the woman not far away had dishevelled hair and a dull look.
I touched my face and paused.
Is this... me
I, how long has it been since I saw myself so truly
I thought I had lived this muddled life for a very long time, but it turned out to be only a few years...
On the way back, I didn't say a word.
Zhuo Yang didn't say anything either. He always said very little to me. In the years since we got married, we had very little communication. Every time I approached him with a smile on my face and wanted to communicate with him, I was frozen by his cold eyes.
"Don't make trouble!"
"Don't you know I'm busy?"
"Are you annoying? If you don't want to make love, get out!"
…
Yes, Zhuoyang and I had the most exchanges in bed. I used to be a woman with shallow desires, but after meeting a man like Zhuoyang with a tall nose and strong desires, I became a woman with strong desires.
In bed, we work together perfectly. Even though Zhuo Yang seems to dislike everything about me and is cold to me outside, he is very passionate in bed.
We did everything that a couple can and cannot do... and we were very happy...
I wonder, if one day, Zhuo Yang and I divorce, will he miss my body
I don't think so... In this world, I believe there are many women who are prettier, more confident, more elegant, but just as lustful as me.
And just one sentence - Zhuoyang won’t need me.
Along the way, I counted the street lights moving backwards on the road. I thought, if the number was odd, I would confront Zhuo Yang, and if the number was even, I would continue to live my life as a shrew in a daze.
One, two, three... one hundred and twenty-two... one hundred and twenty-two, I felt complicated, not knowing whether I should be happy or disappointed.
When I got home, I got out of the car and watched Zhuo Yang reverse the car skillfully. I looked up and the street lamp standing not far ahead made me dazed.
What is this? A street lamp every few steps? Is this a new village after a dark tunnel? One hundred and twenty-three
Does this mean that I have to confront Zhuo Yang
In fact, you can see that I am a coward. I have been so weak for seven years, so I don’t really care about a few more years... But when I looked at the aging self in the mirror, I suddenly felt unwilling.
It seems a bit reluctant to spend my whole life on this man Zhuo Yang.
I thought of the mocking voice on the phone. I knew who he was. His name was Li Chen, the same name as a certain male celebrity who liked to give stones as gifts, but his personality seemed even worse.
During these seven years, his favorite phrase was, "Hey, Brother Zhuo, why don't you divorce this ugly bastard?"
"Hey, Brother Zhuo, I really sympathize with you. You married a woman like this... Let's see if she has any talent... or looks..."
…
I've been hearing the same thing for seven years, so I should be immune to it.
But that night, I suddenly started to feel a little bothered.
He said, there is only one big business, but there are countless wives...
So, how many wives am I of Zhuoyang
I think I actually mind.
Although, I'm totally unqualified.
In the middle of the night, Zhuo Yang woke up and didn't find me next to him. He stood up, looked at me sitting in front of the dressing mirror, putting on makeup, and said coldly: "An Yue, what are you crazy about? Why are you putting on makeup so late at night?"
I touched my delicately made-up face, staring absentmindedly at the strange yet familiar face in the mirror. After a long while, I finally sighed, "Zhuo Yang, do you think I'm beautiful?"
Zhuo Yang paused for a moment, then snorted, "I thought you knew what you were doing..."
"You know what I don't have..."
I replied.
Zhuo Yang had already drunk some water and went back to bed to sleep.
"But I think I will have it after tonight."
I said this very softly, I don't know if Zhuo Yang heard it.
I thought, since he was so lazy to pay attention to me, he probably just pretended not to hear it even if he heard it.