014
I am a bit of a fetishist. To be exact, I love Zhuo Yang, and I love his hands even more, like those of a pianist.
Slender, white, with distinct joints, when the long fingers hold the chin, revealing the perfect outline, there is a breathtaking beauty.
In the past, when I had nothing to do, I always held Zhuoyang’s hands, stroked them gently, and imagined that I was a high-end piano, letting his hands play the most beautiful love song in the world on me.
This time, too.
It's as if we have never been divorced, as if we are a loving couple, everything is based on assumptions.
I took Zhuoyang's hand, which was as slender and white as ever, the one I loved the most.
That bite made my heart tremble so much that I have never let it go all these years.
I was a little angry and disappointed, and I believed that the reason I didn't make up my mind was because of these hands.
Wen Li was behind me, Li Chen was beside me, they were all staring at me, wanting to see how I would treat Zhuo Yang.
I thought, how could I let them down.
Holding Zhuoyang's hand, I felt like an eighteen-year-old girl seeking love and attention. My face blushed and I smiled gently at Zhuoyang.
And the next moment, I lowered my head and bit Zhuo Yang's hand hard.
I want him to feel as much pain as I did before.
I always tell myself that love is not about one person, love needs another person to be happy. I have never been willing to leave Zhuoyang, I told myself that I will make Zhuoyang happy.
But now I finally understand that from the beginning to the end, my view on love is just mine. It has nothing to do with Zhuo Yang.
Or maybe, he also has this view of love, but he just practices this view of love on An Ran.
I gave up. After struggling for so many years and avoiding it for so many years, I finally gave up.
I bit it very deeply, I didn't look up, I didn't see the expressions of the three men present. I only heard the sound of Li Chen gasping for breath.
I didn't care and Zhuoyang didn't resist.
I don’t know if this can be considered as gentlemanly behavior on his part.
I didn't care anymore. As the disgusting iron smell spread in my mouth, many images flashed through my mind.
The first time I met Zhuo Yang, his cheerful smile made my heart flutter;
I am sure I love Zhuoyang, he held Anran's hand, his handsome face blushed;
I argued with An Ran, I was helpless, and in the end I had no power and could only let her take me to that hell;
I got married to Zhuoyang, the house was full of guests, I was very excited and happy, but I ignored Zhuoyang's cold eyes...
There were many, many scenes, and finally everything returned to peace.
I let go of Zhuo Yang's hand, not caring about the blood and flesh on it. I smiled and said, "I will return all the things to you. From now on, you won't have any more."
I nodded, telling myself that this was finally an end.
Zhuo Yang kept staring at me blankly, as if it was the first time he knew how violent I was, and he couldn't recover for a long time.
I smiled, turned around, then suddenly thought of something and turned back.
"I know you've always hated me, so I don't need to hide it from you now. I really wasn't the one who pushed An Ran down. I know you won't believe me, but I'll feel much better if I tell you the truth. She was the first one to start the argument that day, and she was also the one who pushed me down in the end."
I know Zhuo Yang won't believe it. In his heart, An Ran is probably like a goddess and first love. How could the most beautiful place in a man's heart collapse so easily
An Ran now has another identity. She is a dead person, and a dead person will never jump up to argue.
So, I know Zhuoyang won't believe me. But just like my view on love, it's always just mine, even if I'm being honest, I'm only saying it to myself.
I don't need to feel guilty anymore. Over the years, I have paid back everything I could and should have paid back.
Anran, sister.
As if it was a farewell ceremony, I turned around and left.
But after taking a step, I suddenly remembered that there was a mean man named Li Chen next to me.
I didn't show any courtesy to the mean guy, and I didn't even waste time talking to him. I just slapped him twice, and then, as if I was still not satisfied, I punched and kicked him.
In fact, I think slapping someone in the face hurts my self-esteem, and I thought that this bastard Li Chen would fight back, after all, he is not a gentleman who doesn't know how to fight back. However, from beginning to end, he just held his head and dodged my violence.
I think it’s probably because the strong Wen Li is standing behind him.
Finally, I got tired and stopped.
I pointed at Li Chen and said, "If you have the guts, come and confront me head on. Only wimps like to stab you in the back."
I think I have completely offended Li Chen, but it doesn't matter. Anyway, I have lost everything already, and if I lose more, there is nothing left to lose.
When we left, Wen Li gave me a smile.
I think if there wasn't a Li Ruobing behind Wen Li, I would definitely have a good impression of him, because he is a gentle and strong man, he can give you a smile, comfort you, and also support you with a blue sky.
Men like this are what I have been lacking in all these years of my life.
That day was truly an end.
From that day on, Li Chen and Zhuo Yang never appeared in my life again.
Sometimes Ah Guo would complain that those two handsome guys who looked so good to the eyes no longer appeared. Sometimes I would laugh with Ah Guo, yes, those two scumbags finally stopped appearing in my life.
Thank God.
It's the end of the month and I have a day off.
Wen Li said he would treat me to a drink.
Actually, I quite like that kind of fruit wine. Wen Li is a real all-rounder. He has a lot of fruit wine in his room.
They are all brewed by myself. Wine and plum wine are my favorites.
It can be tasted that Wen Li's craftsmanship is good and this wine has been aged for quite some time. When you drink it, you can only feel the sweetness of fruit in your mouth, and the harsh taste of alcohol is weak.
I really like drinking this kind of wine, but fruit wine has a strong aftereffect and it is easy to get drunk. Wen Li is always on guard against me, fearing that I will do something inappropriate after getting drunk.
But today, he actually offered to treat me to a drink.
We cooked hotpot in the room. My cooking skills were pretty good, and it was a perfect match with Wen Li's wine.
There were only two of us, and it was a little awkward at first, but soon, with delicious food and wine in front of us, we forgot about the awkwardness and started chatting.
I'm not sure if I'm drunk, but Wen Li seems to be drunk.
He took my hand and suddenly asked me.
"An Yue, do you still remember your mother?"
Mother? My mind was a little dizzy, but of course I remembered. If it wasn't my mother, I wouldn't have met Zhuo Yang.
My mother's name is Mingyu. Just like her name, she is a piece of beautiful jade, delicate and white. She has a cheongsam that fits her well, and when she puts it on, she looks like a lady from a Republic of China painting.
It was her calm and gentle temperament, like jade, that attracted my father An Ziqing. After a struggle that I don't understand, the handsome and wealthy man and the girl with bright eyes and white teeth got together.
In fact, to put it simply, it was the most familiar and simple love story between a man and a woman, except that An Ziqing was already married when he met my mother.
An Ran and I are half sisters. Her mother was An Ziqing's original wife. She married An Ziqing for a marriage alliance, but when the baby was only five months old, her husband had an affair with another woman.
I actually hate mistresses very much, but as the other party is a mother, she was seduced by An Ziqing, so I suddenly can't make any comment.
"Mom, my mother is very beautiful. I will show you her photos some other day." I smiled. Now I could only look at the photos.
My mother had a car accident when I was eight years old. Although my mother was a mistress, she resolutely left my father with me after knowing the truth.
She had a unique skill in embroidery, and many high-ranking officials and businessmen loved her skill. I remember an uncle once said that a woman like my mother should be kept in a secluded place and cherished for the rest of her life, instead of having to work day and night for a living.
I looked at the fruit wine in front of me. I don't know why, but the mellow wine can't heal me now. It used to be so sweet, but now it tastes a little bitter.
I smiled and drank the fruit wine in one gulp.
"She was so beautiful... Even in death, she was still so beautiful..."
She was wearing a blue and white porcelain cheongsam, which made her look clean and elegant. Even with so much blood pouring out from her body, she was still so beautiful.
She held my hand and told me: "Xiao Yue, I did something wrong. I feel sorry for her and for you. Don't, don't go down the same path as me..."
My mother felt full of guilt towards Anran's mother, and this guilt was passed on to me.
I feel a vague sense of guilt towards Anran and her mother, and I have been trying to make up for the mistakes my mother made.
But, it is really fate, or retribution.
In the end, I still followed my mother's old path.
My cheek felt cold and Wen Li's hand was already approaching.
“Don’t cry…” He stroked my cheek, his eyes as gentle as a pool of water that was about to drown me.
"Shh, don't cry... Don't cry... An Yue..."
I burst out laughing and wiped the tears from my cheeks. Am I crying? My mother told me not to cry...
She said my tears are magical and can’t be used often.
I wiped my tears and laughed out loud, but everything in front of me was still blurry, "I didn't cry..."
Wen Li's eyes in front of him became more gentle, and seemed to have a hint of sympathy, "Shh, don't cry, really don't cry..."
Then, as he spoke, I felt my forehead warm, and he had placed a gentle kiss on it.
Like the flapping of a butterfly's wings, like a breeze blowing across the lake, my heart suddenly felt a ripple.