023
This is the first time I have been asked such a profound question.
What am I doing? I answered without even thinking: I am trying to survive, and I am trying to survive even if I leave Zhuoyang.
However, I have been living in a daze, even a little confused. I have never thought about what I can do, and whether my life can be lived in another way.
Ding Wei took me to her office and showed me another life.
Live for what you like and for your dreams.
But what is my dream
For many years, my dream was to pursue Zhuoyang, to get Zhuoyang, and to win back Zhuoyang. But after I lost all of this, I suddenly realized that losing Zhuoyang was like losing the center of my life.
I am almost useless. Apart from the sofa mark under my butt, I seem to have no mark of survival.
I don’t remember which TV series’ protagonist said this, but Ding Wei’s words made me feel that I’m still okay and it’s not too late at all.
If, I want to.
However, I have been so confused for so many years. To rebuild my confidence and rediscover my dream is also a very illusory and distant thing for me.
Ding Wei said there was no rush, as it took her many years to figure out what she needed to do. For me, I can also search while walking.
And so, I settled down in Ding Wei's studio.
As a rookie who has never worked in the clothing and fashion industry, my current job is to do all kinds of odd jobs.
I found that many of the projects that Ding Wei's studio took on were celebrity styling projects, and Ding Wei also clearly told me that she had an important cooperative relationship with Zhuoyue Culture, which was my ex-husband Zhuo Yang's company.
I smiled and told her that this actually had nothing to do with me.
It really doesn't matter. I have nothing to do with Zhuo Yang now, except that he still gives me 3,000 yuan in alimony every month...
There seems to be nothing else.
Combined with what I said a few days ago, I'm sure we're completely done.
After settling down at Ding Wei's place, I rented another small house. It's not big, only about 80 square meters. But it has everything, and the owner's decoration is what I like. For a moment, I even considered buying this little nest.
I calculated the funds I had on hand. My salary plus the alimony Zhuoyang gave me was actually not much, but fortunately I brought a lot of jewelry from Zhuoyang's home.
I reckon it could fetch quite a bit of money.
Ding Wei soon discovered that I was checking the prices of those jewelry online, and she offered to help me estimate the price.
When I brought all my glittering gold jewels over, Ding Wei suddenly smiled and said, "It seems... Zhuo Yang is still willing to invest in you..."
I do not understand.
But I soon understood.
I remember Zhuo Yang gave me a pink diamond on my last birthday. I was not very happy at the time because Li Si picked it out. But when Zhuo Yang came back and handed it to me, I pretended to be very happy and put it on...
From then on I put it in the jewelry box and ignored it.
But Ding Wei said that this chain was enough to buy the small house I wanted.
My eyes lit up immediately and I took out all my jewels.
After some checking and evaluation, Ding Wei told me very seriously that I was a wealthy woman who could live well without working.
At that moment, tears welled up in my eyes.
I suddenly felt that I could fall in love with Zhuo Yang again.
With the help of Ding Wei, I quickly reached an agreement with the landlord, but when I was about to sign the contract, I found that my ID card was still with Wen Li.
The first few times I went to get something Wen Li was not there, so I considered giving him a call.
I didn't expect that he would be here this time.
"Hey, long time no see." I stood on tiptoe, thinking about the lines for a long time.
When Wen Li saw me, he seemed to take a deep breath.
"You're finally back." That's all he said. Before I started talking, he started talking again: "I know Zhuo Yang took you away... but he hid you... I finally found your place... but I found that you were gone..."
Wen Li spoke in a gentle tone and came over and hugged me in his arms.
To be honest, this warm feeling is quite good. Wen Li has a very comfortable smell, just like the smell of my mother deep in my memory.
but…
No matter how comfortable it is, he is someone else's man and I have to push him away.
I said to Wen Li, "Let me treat you to a meal."
I have been taken care of by Wen Li for such a long time, and now is the time for me to repay his kindness.
Wen Li doesn't like hot pot, so I found a quiet Chinese restaurant.
“An Yue… you…” Wen Li looked a little anxious when he saw that I looked calm.
I really feel that I am a little braver now than before. In the past, I always worried about this and that and ended up doing nothing. But after what happened with Zhuo Yang, I feel that I am willing to do anything now.
"That... I've always wanted to tell you, Wen Li..." I looked straight into the man's eyes and said seriously and sincerely, "I've always been very grateful to you... Thank you for saving my life, thank you for lending me a hand when I was in trouble... But I definitely didn't tell you about my mother..."
Wen Li's face turned pale, and he turned away, muttering: "An Yue... you... I don't know what you are talking about..."
I smiled and handed Wen Li a cup of chrysanthemum tea, "You don't have to be so nervous... like a woman... I just suddenly wanted to chat..." Facts have proved that my mother is my eternal wound. If it is not a special situation, I don't want to poke the wound again.
However, even though I said this, Wen Li's expression did not relax.
But I still talked to myself. It is better to suffer a short pain than a long one. I am sure that it is impossible for me to be with Wen Li, so it is more appropriate to say some things earlier.
"My mother was a mistress."
I smiled and held the teacup. Things that I had found difficult to talk about before, now that they are over, I feel like it’s nothing.
"Although she and my father were in love, she still hurt a third person. Before she was with my father, he already had a wife. Later, my mother died... She told me it was retribution... Influenced by her, I hate mistresses... Although I accidentally got in between Zhuo Yang and my sister... Now I think it was retribution... But, Wen Li, the person you know stepped into the same river twice. I have made a mistake once, and I don't want to talk about the price... The only thing I can be sure of now is that I will never make a mistake a second time."
Wen Li's expression strangely relaxed after I said this. "What do you want to say?"
I sighed, "I know you don't like Li Ruobing. But you didn't reject her, did you?"
I think I hit Wen Li's sore spot.
Although he doesn't like Li Ruobing, he has always been very friendly to Li Ruobing because of family relationships. This is also one of the things I dislike most about Wen Li.
A man who is indecisive and procrastinates will only bring harm to all the women around him.
And I don't want to be hurt anymore.
The tea in Wen Li's hand had grown cold, so I continued to refill his cup.
"Of course, I'm just suggesting. If you don't like a girl, don't give her too much hope. Over time, she will have the illusion that you like her..."
"I'm sorry." Wen Li murmured an apology.
I waved my hands, "I'm sorry, this is not for me. You should give it to the person you deserve."
Afterwards, Wen Li stopped talking.
After a short silence, the dishes were served one after another.
I started moving on my own, but Wen Li moved very slowly.
"What are you going to do now?"
Does Wen Li's words mean that we will still be friends in the future
I smiled and said, "My former maid, Mrs. Chen, was very nice. She has a very capable daughter-in-law. I plan to work for her..."
"Who is she? Is she reliable?"
I knew Wen Li would ask this. Sometimes I feel like Wen Li is just like my family, my mother-in-law. But I know he really cares about me.
I handed over Ding Wei's business card.
"It turns out to be her." Obviously, Wen Li also knew Ding Wei.
"Have you decided yet?"
I nodded and gave a very embarrassed smile.
"Actually, before Song Yu came last time, I wanted to say goodbye to you... But you know, so many things happened in the middle... I forgot..." Speaking of Song Yu, I was a little worried about the fragile ice crystal boy, "By the way... How is Song Yu?"
Speaking of Song Yu, Wen Li's tone was a little sour.
"Do you care about him that much?"
"Of course. We are brothers in distress..." So I told him how Song Yu tried to pull me to jump off the building, which unfortunately resulted in me breaking my leg.
Wen Li was also a little embarrassed, "Although Ayu is naughty...but he is not a bad person..."
Wen Li is really like the head of the family, and we are all his brothers and sisters.
I laughed out loud. "Of course I know. Now, can you tell me how he is doing?"
Wen Li shook his head, "Don't worry, even if everyone in this world has problems, he will be fine."
Wen Li's words were mysterious, and I was too embarrassed to ask further. Song Yu and I didn't spend much time together, and most of my feelings for him were sympathy. We were like two lines that had intersected for unknown reasons, but would soon return to normal.
Continue to go on in parallel, away from each other's lives.
I sighed in my heart and stopped talking.
Wen Li was also silent.
As the departure is imminent, this meal seems to carry a lot of sadness.
However, I still ate a lot.