003
When I was young, I ran away from home several times.
Because I was fed up with Zhuoyang's indifference. Every time I quarreled with him, I was just venting my feelings one-sidedly, while he always maintained that otherworldly and indifferent look.
It was really frustrating, unsettling, and helpless. But with my efforts, I was able to make him angry once or twice out of so many times.
However, he always only has that one line, and always speaks in that indifferent tone.
"An Yue, are you challenging my authority?"
Then he slammed the door and left, not coming back all night, and no one knew where he was indulging himself in some paradise of happiness.
What about me? At the beginning, I hadn't realized my position in Zhuoyang's heart, nor did I realize that my position in this family was not as good as that of a cat. I grabbed my bag and ran away from home in anger.
The wind was freezing, I was tired and hungry, and holding my simply packed bag, my face was covered with tears and snot.
I looked at my phone, and at first I thought, if only Zhuo Yang could make a call, I would reluctantly forgive him, but slowly, I began to think, if only he could send a text message, I would go home immediately, but in the end -
However, my phone never lit up.
The only time it lit up was as a reminder of low battery.
And just like every time, I was hungry, tired and exhausted, and finally had to compromise and return to this magnificent but cold birdcage that Zhuo Yang built for me.
I was an ugly sparrow that he kept in captivity, but I naively thought I was a peacock.
If I were smart, I would understand.
I have been fattened up by Zhuo Yang. I am a bird that cannot fly. I can only wait to die of fatness and old age in a cage. There is no way I can leave Zhuo Yang and survive independently.
If I were smart, I shouldn't challenge Zhuo Yang's authority.
But, there is a saying, you are asking for trouble.
I knew Zhuo Yang would be angry, and I saw the veins on his chubby forehead, but my voice still echoed in the house, sharp and mournful, like a nagging woman.
"Is it because I'm thinking of someone else... like that beautiful host? Or maybe it's that old friend who looks like An Ran..."
Bang!
Zhuo Yang always said that men who use violence can never accomplish great things. He is also used to using his brain to solve all problems. So over the years, no matter how many times I have challenged his authority, he has never taken action.
In fact, I have never really been angry.
But today, just because of a Hu Ling, he threw the bowl at me.
Should I think that this man, whose feelings had died with my sister, has finally come back to life and found new buds
Zhuo Yang threw the bowl away, a trace of ferocity flashed across his face.
I found myself in his dark pupils, shrinking, pale face.
I guess it was my cowardly look that made Zhuo Yang feel that arguing with me would lower his own standards, so he calmed down, went upstairs directly without saying a word to me.
I slowly squatted down behind him and picked up the broken bowl bit by bit.
What a pity, he only ate one of the dumplings I made with great effort.
"Zhuo Yang, I want a divorce."
I think I can't find any reason to hold on any longer.
Love, I have long forgotten what it looks like. Now, I just want to survive.
I can, live on.
"Don't clean it up."
I wasn't sure if I said "Zhuo Yang, I want a divorce." when a pair of black leather shoes appeared in front of me.
Spotless and dazzling.
I looked up and met Zhuo Yang's indifferent eyes. He emphasized to me expressionlessly, "I said, don't clean up. There's Mrs. Chen tomorrow."
I ignored him and slowly picked up the broken bowl. My movements were slow and gentle, as if I would cut my hand if I wasn't careful.
However, my slow pace finally angered Zhuo Yang.
He lifted me up from the ground and shouted angrily, "Didn't you hear what I said? I told you not to touch this garbage!"
Rubbish
For a moment, I didn’t know if the garbage Zhuo Yang was talking about was the dumplings and broken porcelain bowls on the ground, or was it me
I don’t know, I just know that Zhuo Yang was angry.
Rare anger.
But what was he angry about
I just can't figure it out.
I felt pain in my hands and slowly lowered my head.
Zhuo Yang still hurt me. When he pulled me up, the sharp ceramic fragments scratched my fingers, but I didn't feel any pain.
I just watched the traces of blood slowly slide down from my fingertips, and finally fall on the smooth ground. Finally, I gradually couldn't see anymore.
"Look at yourself! Don't make that face, don't look at me like that!" Zhuo Yang was still yelling at me, shaking my shoulders: "An Yue, look at you now! You look like neither a human nor a ghost, what on earth are you doing! What on earth do you want to do!"
boom-
I feel like a silent dead body of water.
One day, someone poured a bucket of gasoline into my stagnant water and set it on fire.
I suddenly became angry, very angry.
Using all my strength, I pushed Zhuo Yang away. Zhuo Yang was very strong, and I only pushed him away a small step. However, because of the rebound force, I took a few steps back and fell to the ground.
My foot hurt because I stepped on the fragment. I grimaced in pain and roared at Zhuo Yang like an angry lioness.
"Yes, yes, I am a human but not like a human, and a ghost but not like a ghost! But who forced me to become like this! Zhuo Yang, since you hate me! Why did you marry me back then! Why did you save me back then! You should have let me die! It would have been better if it was me who died! It would have been better if it was me who died back then!"
My tears fell madly as I roared.
Sometimes, I really feel that I am not pessimistic, but if I had fallen into the water and died, would everything have been different
Zhuoyang will marry Anran, and they will live a happy life as a talented man and a beautiful woman.
We will all be happy for the rest of our lives, living our own lives in different ways.
but-
It's too late.
Zhuoyang married me.
An Ran, she is dead.
I cried bitterly, roared and raged, and vented all my grievances.
But I was still timid.
I didn't ask, I didn't say that.
"Zhuo Yang, why don't you love me?" Since you love An Ran so much, can't you share some with me
Zhuo Yang carried me upstairs. My foot was pierced by a splinter and was still bleeding. He twisted my foot and violently pulled out the splinter.
I was in a lot of pain, but after the frenzy, I seemed somewhat timidly calm.
Zhuo Yang didn't say anything the whole time, even when he was applying the medicine, he was filled with a depressing calm before a storm.
“I’m sorry…” I spoke first, then I looked away, feeling a little sad for my compromise and helplessness.
"I'm just in a bad mood... I didn't mean it..."
It's sad, I'm so sad. I felt so uncomfortable and really wanted to slap this man who I loved and hated, but in the end, I lowered myself and apologized.
Zhuo Yang still didn't say anything, he just applied medicine on me and finally bandaged the wound.
A cute pink band-aid was also put on my hand.
Finally, Zhuoyang went to the bathroom. He always liked cleanliness. I dirty his hands, his sheets, and even his pillow. Will he be angry
Thinking that Zhuoyang would be angry, I jumped out of bed and hopped to the closet to get new sheets to change for Zhuoyang.
My movements were fast, but not as fast as Zhuo Yang's.
Zhuo Yang came out of the bathroom and looked at my actions, his face suddenly turned cold.
He still didn't say anything, just looked at me coldly.
I almost cried. Holding my uninjured fingers, I explained helplessly, "I'm sorry, I made the bed dirty... I... I just wanted to change the sheets... You... you want to sleep in the guest room?"
I was so incoherent, in fact, that I was almost speechless at the end.
I lowered my head, feeling extremely depressed.
Can I really leave Zhuoyang when I am like this and am completely controlled by him
My whole body was getting colder and colder, and the wounds that had been treated with medicine were now in terrible pain.
I stood there, feeling Zhuo Yang looking at me, and my whole body felt like it was burning.
I didn't know what happened next. I only knew that I was violently thrown onto the blood-stained bed sheet, and Zhuo Yang pressed me down and started kissing me.
I wanted to resist, but my hands were tied to the bed rails. Zhuo Yang tore my pajamas, pinched my breasts, kissed my belly button, and finally penetrated my honey pot.
I could feel Zhuo Yang's anger, and he vented it all under the bed. I was not completely wet, and my whole body was dry like a fish out of water, because the fisherman ruthlessly hooked a hook deep inside my body, and I began to pant heavily.
That feeling of being full, with pain, and some other things I can't describe now.
I took a deep breath, raised my eyes, and met Zhuo Yang's dark eyes.
Strange, there was actually some pain in it. Was I seeing things? There was actually a trace of pain in Zhuo Yang's eyes.
I feel a little heartbroken, and I really want to say, don’t hurt so much, don’t hurt anymore.
However, I said nothing. I just watched his eyes gradually turn as dark as dead water, and finally turn into a terrifying hideous look.