061
Sometimes I feel that Zhuoyang is really unreasonable. Ever since he moved next door to me, he has been in various states of mind. He would send me text messages and call me at regular intervals, and he would also send me strange little gifts.
For example, some sculptures with strange shapes, some stickers, and even more so, the endless stream of cacti...
I found that he was very fond of those small plants, and my balcony was already filled with the small potted plants he gave me.
And I found that he understood me better than I thought. He even knew that I was lazy, so lazy that I couldn't even keep a cactus alive.
Every time a cactus in my house comes along it dies. Every time a pair of cacti dies, Zhuo Yang sighs and replaces them with new ones on my windowsill.
I won't give up my principles just for a few pots of cacti.
Especially some things, in fact, have slowly dispersed. Since they are scattered, why should I spend energy to gather them together
But Zhuoyang is a very persistent person, and he started to pick me up from work.
I was naturally against it and ignored him. But he was a very patient person. If I didn't take his car, he would follow my bus and take me all the way to my company.
Sometimes, I really feel annoyed.
Yet he still enjoys doing it.
Ding Wei made me obey him.
It doesn’t matter whether he loves me or not. What matters is that he loves me.
But…
What's the point of making do like this? Wasn't it because of making do back then? Besides, what I'm most afraid of now is feelings, and Zhuo Yang's feelings.
I may believe in his sincerity, but I don't believe in myself.
We were together for seven years, but we didn't love each other. Why did he fall deeply in love with me in just six months after his divorce
Don’t tell me... I don’t believe it.
Zhuo Yang was as shameless as ever. After I moved in next door to me, for some reason he made the wall near my bedroom very thin.
At first I thought he was going to break through the wall, but what I didn't expect was that he just scraped the wall thinner and then said good night to the wall every night.
I know it was directed at me.
only…
Compared with that slight feeling of being touched, I feel more confused.
Is this the life I want? Leaving one cage, nothing seems to have changed. Am I not in another cage again
To be honest, I'm considering moving to another city and starting a new life.
I started to pay attention to city profiles in magazines. If I liked any city, I would go to Baidu to search for the cost of living in that city.
I thought I was doing it very secretly, but I didn't expect that Ding Wei would find out.
"Do you want to travel? Or do you want to move?"
I closed the webpage and sniffed. The weather has been getting warmer recently, but I actually caught a cold.
“No… just looking…” I want to visit all the places I didn’t go when I was young.
There was a moment when I wanted to drop everything and live my life like a traveler.
"If I were you... it wouldn't be a bad idea to change my lifestyle." Finally, Ding Wei looked at me thoughtfully.
To be honest, Ding Wei’s words really touched my heart.
I had the urge to quit my job and run away, but the reality was... I ran into Zhuo Yang as soon as I got home.
"Why did you come back so late today?"
He was leaning against the door, his dark blue fitted suit making him look like a jade crown. From a distance, he looked very well-dressed.
I'm in a good mood today and can talk to him.
“No… I had dinner with friends outside…” But he was dressed so neatly, was he going out for social events again
"Aren't you going to ask me where I'm going?" Zhuo Yang leaned against the door, looking straight at me, with an inexplicable smile on his handsome face.
This kind of Zhuo Yang made me feel a little unfamiliar, and I even felt that this person was becoming increasingly mentally abnormal.
He closed the door and left the answer behind.
"Mind my business."
At night, I plan my future life. I can't stand places that are too hot, but I can't stand places that are too humid either, so I must choose a city that suits me.
I just looked for a long time on the Internet and consulted countless magazines, but in the end I found no clue.
But... I don't have any reason to leave now, I told myself I can look for it slowly.
I looked up and saw the alarm clock beside the bed reminded me that it was ten o'clock, which was my usual time to wash up. I got up from the bed and prepared to take a shower and go to bed.
jingle-
The doorbell rang at this moment.
"Who is it?"
After opening the door, Zhuo Yang was standing there with a tired look on his face. When he saw me open the door, before I could say anything to stop him, he grabbed my hand and pulled me in.
Hello... This seems to be my home.
My face didn't look very good, especially after entering the room, I immediately shook off Zhuo Yang's hand, "What are you doing?"
There's clearly no smell of alcohol on him, and he's not drunk.
Zhuo Yang sat down on my small sofa, took out the bag behind him, and shook it towards me, "I brought you some food."
I paused, then narrowed my eyes in suspicion, "Are you so good?"
Zhuo Yang seemed to be in a good mood, and he pointed at the things on the table, "Hilton's blueberry double layer... you don't like it the most..."
I took a hesitant look at the beautifully packaged cake. I could imagine that the dessert inside was as exquisite and perfect as its appearance.
I swallowed, but finally shook my head.
"Forget it... You suddenly fed me food... Who knows if you wanted to fatten me up and eat me..."
Seeing that I didn't move, Zhuo Yang came over and helped me unpack.
"I just want to fatten you up and eat you, is that not okay?"
"… "
I don't like the taste of blueberry double layer.
Zhuo Yang, on the other hand, looked at me in a sullen state, somewhat surprised and a little disappointed.
"Isn't this your favorite? What's wrong? I haven't had a good appetite lately..." Before I could answer, he nodded to himself, with a puzzled look on his face, "That's not right... I even specially found the pastry chef from before... It should taste the same..."
I held the spoon in my mouth, but the food tasted a bit tasteless.
The cake still tastes the same as before, sweet with a hint of sour blueberries, but I don’t know when... I no longer like this taste.
Putting down the spoon, I shook my head and answered Zhuoyang's question.
"It's not the cake's fault." I took a sip of water to dilute the sweet taste in my mouth, "It's that I don't like this kind of cake anymore... It's me... I've changed..."
It's me who finally no longer cherishes the feelings of the past.
No matter how good the cake was, I found that I had waited for seven years and by the end I didn’t want to eat it anymore.
I stood up to see the guest off.
Zhuo Yang didn't plan to leave. When I stood up, he held my hand and said, "You said... I don't remember your preferences, your birthday, or your hairstyle... You insisted on sentencing me to death... Don't you want to know my answer?"
I shook my head.
But Zhuoyang held my hand and laughed.
"You like sweets and are allergic to seafood. Besides cakes, fig snacks are also your favorite... Your birthday is on July 14, the legendary Ghost Festival. As for your hairstyle... You said that your face is more suitable for straight hair... So you have always liked long straight hair... An Yue... I haven't forgotten anything... But you, have you forgotten..."
The force coming from my hands became stronger and stronger, and I felt a little pain.
With a hiss, Zhuo Yang quickly let me go.
"You said you would stay with me no matter what happened."
"That's because I was stupid." I took my hand back nonchalantly, blew on it, and wanted to laugh, but found myself a little powerless.
"Zhuo Yang, forget it, that's all in the past. How can a person love another person for a lifetime... You can't even do it yourself... Are you sure I can?"
After saying that, I got up and walked towards the bedroom.
Soon, I heard footsteps and the sound of a door closing.
I don't know why, but I leaned on the bed, covered with the soft pillow, and couldn't help but sigh.
"Are you going on a trip? Or are you planning to run away?"
Suddenly, a sudden sound in the room made me throw away my pillow and stand up. I glared at the man who shouldn't be here, "Why haven't you left yet?"
Zhuo Yang was leaning against the door. He had thrown his suit jacket somewhere, his tie was hanging loosely around his neck, his neatly-knit hair was now messed up, and he looked a little listless.
"I just... don't want to go back alone and watch over the silence in the house..."
Zhuo Yang was leaning against the door. I could see that he seemed to want to come in, but when he saw me shrinking back, he reluctantly retreated back to his original position.
Finally, his eyes stopped at the magazines I had scattered on the ground, and his expression became somewhat inexplicable. "You want to escape?"
I have to say, Zhuoyang still understands me this time.
I snatched the travel magazine from Zhuoyang's hand and said unhappily, "What does this have to do with you?"
Zhuo Yang stood behind me for a long time without saying anything.
Only when I put away all the magazines did he slowly speak: "Where do you think you can go by yourself?"
Zhuo Yang's words made me feel a little unwilling, and I wanted to retort stubbornly, but Zhuo Yang had already sneered and continued, "Leaving the place where you have always grown up, going to a strange place, there is no me there, and no Ding Wei... You have to do everything by yourself..."
Zhuo Yang is right. Even after the divorce, I have always been a flower in a greenhouse. I have never experienced wind and rain, so I cannot bloom with my own unique fragrance.
But even a fat bird wants to spread its wings and fly to the distant sky to see what the world looks like.
So... I smiled, put all the magazines back on the bookshelf, and then turned to the indifferent man in front of me and said, "Maybe, you are right. But if I don't try... How do I know that I can't... I think that living well in another strange city will not be as difficult as making you fall in love with me..."
After taking a deep breath, I saw the man's face suddenly turn pale. He smiled slightly and continued, "I think... I will live a better life... without you..."