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Zhuoyang rarely talks so much.
Still sweet talk.
A normal woman would be moved to tears when a man she has loved for so many years expresses his deep love to her.
I am a normal woman, and I was naturally touched when Zhuoyang confided his feelings to me.
But-
Seven years.
Not seven months...
Not seven days...
Not even seven hours!
Those were the most precious seven years of my life…
How many seven years can a person have in his life? I gave my best life to this man, but what did he give me? Hurt? Suspicion? Indifference...
When it was all over... He told me he loved me...
Long ago...
Is it just that I don’t know? Is it just that I can’t get over that hurdle? Is it just that I don’t know
I can imagine the confusion and hesitation of a proud person when he falls in love with a woman who is equivalent to his enemy. I can also understand the heart of Zhuo Yang, who has always been slow in this regard. Yes, I can understand...
but-
No matter how deep the love is, it cannot withstand the test of time.
I think…
I am already satisfied.
Zhuo Yang didn't know what I was thinking. He looked very happy and held my hand with a little force, as if he was full of expectations for the future. I guess he thought that as long as he apologized, I would obediently return to his palm.
"If you like small houses, we can move to a smaller house. If you like traveling, we can travel every year. Oh, and if you like children... we can have a child... I haven't felt so relaxed in these years..."
I know Zhuo Yang has never had such an easy life. After he started his own business, he has had a hard time these years.
But-
No matter how much I can't bear it, no matter how much I feel sad...
Nor can I deceive him.
It's like he cheated on me.
I slowly climbed up from his chest, tears streaming down my face, and I wiped the tears from my eyes.
I wanted to look the man I had loved for so long in the face.
"Zhuo Yang, I love you. I have always loved you... During the most difficult years when my mother passed away... You will never know... You are the only light in my dark life... I love you... I respect you... Your existence is like a god to me... You insult me... You hurt me... I tell myself... Nothing matters... As long as I love you, it is enough..."
I thought that, no matter how long the years were, no matter how much hurt or suffering there was, as long as I loved him and as long as I was willing to accept it, that would be enough.
But-
I shook my head and tears fell.
"I'm sorry. I changed my mind... I found that I don't love you that much anymore... I don't want to wait for you here anymore... Maybe we were not right from the beginning... We have always been from two different worlds..."
Because our worlds are too far apart, even if you turn back now...
I am no longer in the world you imagine.
My mother said that life is too short. It is important to love someone deeply, but don’t forget to look back when you are suffering.
Don’t forget…
Love yourself.
Zhuoyang tried to grab me, but I gently pushed him away.
"Actually... I never thought you would like me... I never thought you would look back... It... seemed like a dream... But now you look back... You stopped... Come over and hold my hand... But I found out..."
I found that I didn't have the surprises I imagined, and love cannot withstand the test of time.
"Perhaps this is the punishment of fate. God punished me for not coming to the An family, for not saving An Ran at the most critical moment, and for not falling in love with you... So in the end, we can't be together... And you... You ignored a woman's love... You used marriage as a weapon of revenge... This is God's punishment for you..."
After all, we are not good people, and we will never be happy.
"I'm living a good life alone now." I sniffed and reiterated, "I'm not kidding... I'm serious. I once thought that I would suffer a lot after leaving your world, but what I didn't expect was... I actually felt a sense of relief..."
It was like I had finally broken free from the shackles of darkness. Although I had removed the chains that had bound me, the price I paid was cruel, and the feeling of having my flesh torn apart was not pleasant.
However, these injuries are different from the chronic pain that has been silent in the dark. Such wounds will heal slowly, instead of like before...
I can only leave myself alone in the dark...
Let the wound rot slowly...
And I can never get up.
"Sorry... Zhuo Yang... You are too late... You are really too late..."
After saying that, I moved Zhuo Yang's hand away, "Let me go... Let's let each other go..."
Let's not have this deformed bond anymore, let's start a new life with each other.
"Is this what you think?" Zhuo Yang kept wrapping his hand around me when I repeatedly pulled his hand away. "Is this how you view the seven years between us... I hurt you and you couldn't bear it... Even if I turned back, you were determined not to look at me again... It's not enough..."
Zhuo Yang shook his head, and seemed to be extremely angry, and actually laughed.
"Not enough..." He shook his head, his voice sad, "An Yue, this is not enough! You can't let me go like this! I wasted the best seven years of your life! You should let me spend my whole life to compensate..."
"But... I... I don't hate..."
"Don't say you don't hate me!" Zhuo Yang suddenly interrupted me violently. His face was gloomy, as if he was thinking of something very cruel. He suddenly stabbed me hard in the wounds that were about to heal.
"Don't you hate me? Don't you hate me for not coming home all those years? Don't you hate me for not caring about you? Don't you hate me for the ambiguity between Hu Ling and me? Don't you hate me for not caring about you and causing you to lose your child..."
But-
Why do you have to do this...
I am a coward... I can't take revenge on Zhuo Yang, I can only bury the deepest pain in the mud like an ostrich, and it would be best if I could never remember it...
It would be best if you turned into dust and never appeared in my life again.
But-
It was this man who easily aroused the buried hatred in my heart.
The intense hatred that comes with intense love.
How can I not hate...
How can I not hate it!
I want to tear the man in front of me to pieces! Only by tearing his flesh and blood can I eliminate the hatred and unwillingness in my heart.
But…
But the man took my hand and led me out of the ward.
Doctors and nurses along the way heard the news and came over, but were all stopped violently by Zhuo Yang.
He took me to the rooftop.
"What do you want to do?"
I refused to move forward, but Zhuo Yang pulled me forcefully toward the stairs.
"Didn't you say I was your God? Today I'll give you this chance... Push your God into the mud..."
"You're crazy!" I stood at the stairs, staring at the man in front of me with a crazy look, "Are you crazy? How many times do you want me to tell you... I don't want you anymore... We broke up! We're divorced! We're over!"
"Ahem..." Zhuo Yang coughed twice, let go of my hand, and laughed. After a while, he leaned against the wall, his fingers trembling, but his tone was unusually firm, "Just like before, it has always been your wishful thinking. I tell you... it's not that simple... breaking up is not that simple... I have never wanted someone so urgently in my life. You said that life is too short! So - I won't let you run away! No matter what the cost... even if it's your life! I will let you walk back into my life!"
Zhuoyang is really crazy!
The dark pupils were now infected by a red madness, and the whole person seemed to be trapped in a mad beast.
I was a little scared for no reason. It turned out that Zhuo Yang's brain was damaged.
"Let go! Let me go!" I tried hard to pry open Zhuo Yang's hand, but every struggle only resulted in Zhuo Yang using more brutal force.
"It hurts so much..." I cried out in pain. Even if Zhuo Yang didn't show any pity to me before, I knew the severity of the situation. But this time, he was really hurt. He took my hand and directly stroked his chest, "Does it hurt? Then tell me! Why does it hurt more here! An Yue! Is this your revenge? After I fell in love with you... you ruthlessly stabbed me in the stomach... Tell me! Who is hurting more! I can't have you... Why can't I have you..."
Zhuo Yang is no longer normal.
He came closer and suddenly bit my lips hard.
"Why! Don't you stay! Why don't you choose to stay with me... You have a lifetime to see me sad... Why don't you stay..."
The most painful thing is not hatred, but indifference.
Hate is still supported by strong love, but indifference represents...
There is no love anymore.
It really hurts.
He almost bit my lip and the blood slowly flowed into my mouth. I felt extremely disgusted and pushed Zhuo Yang away with my big hand.
Zhuo Yang didn't seem to notice and was pushed away by me, but soon he came back to haunt me again.
Even though he was only holding one hand, he had enough strength to grab both of my hands above my head and kissed me desperately.
I admit that I was frightened. It seemed that the person who jumped on me was not the Zhuo Yang I knew, not the lover and husband I had been with for seven years...
It was the hooligans who abused me, and the cousin Hu Ling who took off all my clothes...
"Let me go... Let me go..."
I began to struggle desperately. I probably didn't expect that people could burst out with such great strength when they are most desperate.
I kicked Zhuo Yang away.
only-
I didn't expect that this was the entrance to the stairs, and the stairs in this hospital are quite high.
At that moment, I saw Zhuo Yang smiling at me, as if to say: I owe you something... I will slowly pay it back to you now...
Love, hate, and vengeance…
And all the pain.