068
The early summer breeze was slightly cool. I stood on the balcony, regretting not taking out a coat.
I rubbed my arms for a while, and the goose bumps caused by the cold were clearly smoothed out, but my heart was still cold.
I actually understand that it has nothing to do with Ye Feng.
I just—
I just can't get over that hurdle.
I regretted agreeing to Zhuo Yang. Why did I want to get involved in such a mess? What does the love-hate relationship between Zhuo Yang and An Ran have to do with me? I have decided to give up, but why do I still feel so unhappy
In fact, why bother... They knew each other earlier than me, and the bond between them is deeper than mine... The most important thing is that at this point, An Ran is already dead, so why should I care
It's just... I know it myself, but there's something in my heart that's about to roar out.
Why
Why should I feel sorry for An Ran just because I like me? Why should I live forever in our world like a ghost even if she dies
Now, I have to say -
I really can't accept it.
When I returned to the ward, Zhuo Yang had already woken up.
He probably just woke up, there was a thin layer of mist on his dark eyes, and he didn't seem to be fully awake yet.
"Would you like some water?"
Zhuo Yang shook his head and touched his head with his hands, but it didn't seem to work. He quickly put his hands down, glanced at me, and said, "Where have you been?"
"No... the ward is too stuffy... I'll go out for a walk..." I sat down next to Zhuo Yang and covered him with the quilt that he had opened.
"You better get better soon... If you keep going like this, I, Monkey Face Ma Yue, will be able to leave."
Zhuo Yang's face was gloomy and his voice was slightly angry.
"You really want to leave?"
I nodded naturally, and looked at Zhuo Yang with amusement, "Hey... You haven't forgotten... I hurt you, you said that as long as I take good care of you, we will separate..."
I could tell Zhuo Yang was very unhappy with what I said seriously. But he managed to hold back his bad temper, and after a while he poked my hand with his hand that was wrapped like a dumpling.
"I'm sorry for all these years. From now on... let's not quarrel anymore. Even if this is the last day, I still want to live a good life with you..."
I guess it was Zhuo Yang's words that night that made me feel a little relieved. In fact, I also have regrets. I have been chasing Zhuo Yang for so many years and have suffered countless wounds. I never thought that I would be able to live a peaceful and happy life with him one day.
Perhaps, many years later, I will be with another man, and Zhuo Yang will find his own happiness. We will recall in our midnight dreams that we not only hurt each other, but also had quiet and peaceful years.
This wonderful period of time is what I have always longed for.
Now, this is also what Zhuoyang yearns for.
Zhuoyang was discharged from the hospital after staying there for two days. Although the doctors in the hospital repeatedly advised Zhuoyang to stay in the hospital and change a woman.
It turns out that when these people saw Zhuo Yang was so handsome, but his legs and hands were broken, and even his stomach was restless, they probably thought that I was abusing him at home...
While I was packing Zhuoyang's luggage, I seriously suggested, "Are you really not going to stay for a few more days?"
Zhuo Yang was in a good mood. Although his face was still a little pale, there was a comfortable smile between his brows.
"The hospital is stuffy... Let's go home."
Home
It was obviously just a small villa.
even-
None of them belong to us.
Zhuoyang can't eat spicy food because of his gastritis, and it's best to avoid greasy food. According to the doctor's request, I cooked millet porridge for Zhuoyang, which is easy to digest. At first, Zhuoyang didn't say anything, but frowned and ate it with a spoon.
However, after eating it for three consecutive days, Zhuo Yang felt unhappy.
"Why this again?" He held the spoon clumsily, protesting no longer able to bear it.
I broke off a chicken leg and took a bite of it happily, but pretended to be very regretful on my face, "Who told you to have gastritis..."
“But…” Zhuo Yang muttered a few words, but when he saw my smiling face, he actually obeyed me and continued to pick up the despised spoon.
"An Yue, you must be deliberately taking revenge on me... How could it be possible? I eat simple porridge and vegetables every day, while you eat meat and fish every day..."
I must say that I have that kind of little thought. Especially when I see Zhuo Yang looking awkward, I feel very happy.
But I thought, I can't be too cautious. Zhuo Yang is a patient after all. If he doesn't get enough nutrition and doesn't get better, I won't be able to leave.
That afternoon, I came over early to make porridge for Zhuoyang, but this time it was preserved egg and lean meat porridge. I knew that meat was not so easy to digest, so I cooked it for a longer time.
Zhuo Yang was watching TV in the living room. Seeing that I was in the kitchen, he came over in his wheelchair.
"What did you do? It smells so good." He took a breath and swallowed.
It seems that I really made him hungry.
"Don't get in the way here... go to the living room and wait... I'll be there soon."
However, even after I said that, Zhuo Yang did not leave. Instead, he lazily leaned on his wheelchair and watched me busy in the kitchen.
Actually, I also understand a little bit. Ever since we decided to coexist peacefully, Zhuoyang has especially liked to stay with me.
Sometimes when I was busy in the kitchen and sweating profusely, I wanted to send him away because he was in the way, but he said he was leaving, but he didn't walk far. He just stood aside and watched me busy.
Could it be that this person feels a sense of accomplishment when watching others busy
"Why do you always like to stick to me lately?"
I washed my hands, turned around, and asked directly.
Zhuo Yang lowered his eyes, and there seemed to be a hint of unnaturalness on his face again.
I thought he wasn't going to answer, but he finally spoke.
"In the future... maybe we won't be able to stick together anymore... All these years, you have always been watching me, and I... I also want to see you..."
Honestly, I really can't handle Zhuo Yang's deep affection.
Occasionally, when I couldn't stand it anymore, I told Zhuo Yang not to pretend to be affectionate.
But his answer surprised me.
“I just did what I wanted to do.”
As for Zhuoyang's transformation, I suddenly understood it one day when Zhuoyang and I were watching a stupid movie out of boredom.
It's not that Zhuo Yang is pretending to be gentle, it's because when love is deep, it's naturally sweet like honey. Just like Zhuo Yang said, it's not deliberate... I just want to do it.
Sometimes the body acts before the brain.
Zhuo Yang's occasional words would make my heart feel sad.
Just like today, he spoke about me and him in such a melancholy tone, and I felt a little sad, but some things are decided and they are decided...
No matter how painful or bitter it is, there is nothing I can do.
"Okay... didn't you say we should live a good life? Why would you say such unlucky words when living a good life... Um... come here quickly... your century egg and lean meat porridge is ready... Um... smells so good..."
I spoke, and Zhuoyang calmed down and sat obediently at the dining table.
I watched him clumsily scooping the porridge and finally couldn't help it.
"Forget it, I'm in a good mood... I'll do it."
I took the spoon, scooped a small mouthful of porridge, put it to my mouth and blew it, "Hmm... Eat it..."
Zhuo Yang's dark eyes looked straight at me, and from my perspective I could see countless emotions churning in his eyes.
There was excitement, excitement, and something else that I couldn't quite make out... but in the end, everything returned to calm.
He opened his mouth and swallowed the porridge obediently.
"Delicious." The man's eyes lit up and a smile slowly formed at the corners of his mouth.
I also thought that this person must be very hungry, otherwise, with his previous picky personality, why would he eat such simple food.
"I remember you didn't like porridge before."
I handed Zhuo Yang a tissue while preparing to take the next bite. It was a bit awkward for the two of them to feed porridge like this, so I tried to find a topic to talk about.
To be honest, the amount of words Zhuoyang and I talked in the past seven years was not as much as the year after our divorce.
Zhuoyang has always been a man of few words, but now that I asked, even though he is not talkative, he still answered patiently.
“I don’t like… not being full.”
I was amused by this statement, "Stop it... You sound like you're starving... Don't even mention that you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth. Even if you later started an excellent business, you wouldn't be..."
Zhuo Yang swallowed the second mouthful, sighed with satisfaction, and then said softly: "That period was too busy... I ate and slept in the office every day, and ate boxed lunches to save time. But it was so hot in the summer... Li Si would buy me porridge... But I was always hungry... Later I didn't like it anymore..."
"So busy that you don't even have time to eat?" I really didn't believe it.
Zhuo Yang nodded seriously: "Thinking about it now... that period of time was really like a dream... You definitely don't know... I came back very late every day... You slept like a pig..."
Coming back late? I slept like a pig
It seems I have some memory.
However, I always thought that the reason Zhuo Yang came back so late during those years was because he had a woman outside, so to speak, it was because of work.
but-
I still don't quite believe it.
"Stop it... I'm telling you, I wasn't asleep. I secretly hid under the window every day and watched your car drive in before I went to sleep... Humph, you come home every day smelling of woman's perfume, and you lied to me about your job... Stop it..."
Speaking of this, Zhuo Yang was a little annoyed.
"An Yue, you are such a pig. I run a film and television company, so naturally I have to deal with women..."
snort-
You speak so righteously, I don't believe he didn't have a strange woman outside during those years.
but-
I quickly suppressed this thought in my heart. The atmosphere was finally so calm now, why should I hold on to the past that made me uncomfortable
"Okay, you passed the test... I'll give you a bite, open your mouth..."
“It’s so hot… so hot…”
"Liar, it's been cold for so long, how can it be hot... Is it really hot? Let me try it... It's not hot... Asshole... Zhuo Yang, you lied to me again... Are you so happy to eat my saliva?"