In the Buddhist temple, the setting sun shone on the roof. The bell for evening lessons rang. The empress dowager walked towards the temple, followed by two sturdy palace maids.
The Queen Mother stopped in front of the hall, turned around and said to the two palace maids, "Wait in the corridor while I worship the Buddha."
She said angrily: "You don't have to stare at me. I won't commit suicide in front of the Buddha!"
The two palace maids bowed silently, turning a deaf ear to what she said and still following her closely.
No matter how angry she was and how she drove them away, they would not leave even a step, because they were sent by the new emperor and obeyed the new emperor. The new emperor wanted them to follow the empress dowager everywhere to prevent her from committing suicide due to excessive grief, so they stayed by her side all the time.
The Queen Mother shouted to the eunuch who was standing in the distance with his hands hanging down, "Brother! Pull them out for me!"
The "loyal servant" who had served her for many years just lowered his head, as if he didn't hear her order.
Everyone knew that the new emperor was not like his two elder brothers. He was not raised by the empress dowager herself. The mother and son had not even seen each other for several years. There was no affection between them. A few days after the new emperor ascended the throne, he killed Wang Yuandao, the chief eunuch who was close to the empress dowager, and two other confidants of the empress dowager on the grounds that they had spread slander and misled the emperor. Everyone knew that the empress dowager had lost power. The new emperor even killed the chief eunuch who was most trusted by his mother, which showed that he had no scruples about filial piety.
The Queen Mother angrily said, "Dog slave!"
There was nothing she could do except get angry. Those servants always flattered her and looked down on her. Although they still served her as usual, there was always a hint of contempt and perfunctoriness in the corners of their eyes and eyebrows.
She shuddered at the thought that she would have to live under such contemptuous gazes for the rest of her life. She was not afraid of death, but now she couldn't even die.
It must be said that the rebellious son understood her very well and knew that letting her live without dignity like this would be more painful than death.
The empress dowager entered the Buddhist hall. It was dark inside, except for the faint light from the lotus lamp in front of the white jade Buddha statue.
She knelt down in front of the Buddha statue, silently reciting scriptures while moving the beads in her hand, but she recited the scriptures incorrectly several times because she was distracted.
She didn't want to think about that rebellious son. She had made up her mind. Since he was willing to die with that bitch, she would just pretend that she had never given birth to him. No one could blackmail or control her.
Since she could kill her second son whom she raised, of course she could watch her third son die. They were all her children, and she could give birth to them or die at her will.
But she still couldn't help but think of him. Every time she heard the Buddhist bell ringing, she couldn't help but tremble with fear. In a trance, she seemed to hear the sound of Ye'er's funeral bell again.
She hated this disobedient second son and wished he would die, but she never really wanted him to die. She just wanted him to bend his back and surrender completely.
But now she realized that there are people who would rather die than be controlled by others, and Huan Xuan was just such a person who would rather break than bend.
There were footsteps outside the Buddhist temple, and the Queen Mother felt a chill in her heart.
The fan opened with a creaky sound.
"Mother..." someone called softly.
It was the eldest daughter's voice. The Queen Mother turned her head and looked at her face. She saw that her eyes were red and swollen, obviously she had been crying.
The Queen Mother looked at her belly, which had not yet shown any signs of pregnancy, frowned and said coldly, "Why are you here instead of staying at home to take care of your pregnancy?"
The great abbot said to the two palace maids, "You should leave first."
The palace maids looked at each other and quietly retreated outside the hall - His Majesty's order was to keep an eye on the Queen Mother to prevent her from committing suicide, and the eldest princess certainly would not watch her own mother die.
After the two palace maids left, the door was closed again, and the eldest lady choked up and said, "Third brother... Third brother is dying... Mother, please take out the antidote..."
She knelt on the ground with a plop and said, "Mother, can you really bear to watch your own flesh and blood die without saving it?"
The Queen Mother was terrified, and immediately frowned and said, "That rebellious son is seeking his own death, what does it have to do with me? Not to mention that I don't have the antidote at all, even if I did, I wouldn't give it to you!"
The eldest lady looked at her with tears in her eyes, full of sadness and disbelief: "Mother, how could you become like this?"
She knew that her mother had become more and more extreme and stubborn over the years, especially after Huan Ye's death, but she could never have imagined that she would poison Xiao Ling and force her third brother to gamble with his life.
The empress dowager pursed her lips and said nothing. The deep nasolabial lines on her face looked as if they were carved with a knife, extending almost to her jaw.
The Great Elder asked again: "If Ye'er knew about this in the afterlife, what would he think?"
The Queen Mother said, "You are not allowed to mention Ye'er!"
The eldest master said: "Ye'er has been kind since he was young, and always thinks of you. If you knew that your beloved mother did this for you, would you be happy and relieved?"
The Queen Mother said, "I don't care. Ye'er even lost her life for that bitch. If she still has a conscience, she shouldn't live alone!"
She paused and glanced at her daughter's belly: "You don't understand now, but you will understand when you become a mother yourself."
The eldest daughter placed her hand gently on her belly, her eyes soft but firm: "I will never understand what my mother is thinking. I wish my child to live a free life. I brought my child into this world not to make her my puppet."
The Queen Mother was shocked: "Are you blaming your mother?"
The eldest lady lowered her eyebrows and said, "My daughter dare not, but I beg you to think twice, so as not to regret it for the rest of your life."
The Queen Mother said sternly: "You don't need to teach me what to do, get out!"
The eldest lady wiped the tears from her face with a silk handkerchief, raised her eyes and said: "Mother, don't forget how Ye'er died. If you are determined to repeat the same mistake, no one can force you."
Without waiting for the Queen Mother to say anything, she bowed and said, "That's all I have to say."
The great abbot left the temple, and before he knew it, it was already time to light the lamps. The sunset glow faded away, leaving only a faint trace.
The Queen Mother wanted to finish reciting the remaining half of the scripture, but her mind was in a state of confusion. She could not remember the verses that she had memorized by heart.
The two shadowy figures appeared silently behind her again.
The Queen Mother stood up, walked quickly out of the Buddhist temple, returned to her own Zen temple, and went straight into the small Buddhist hall deep in the grass and trees.
This was her retreat. After Ye'er died, she had spent countless long, lonely nights here.
The small Buddhist hall was empty except for mats, cushions, and a few incense burners, as well as a half-foot-tall white jade Buddha statue. If you look closely, you will find that the statue's face is lifelike and is very similar to the late prince.
This was the first time she opened the small Buddhist temple since Huan Xuan sent those two palace guards, because she didn't want anyone to discover her secret.
She couldn’t care less now, she was too confused, too scared, and in need of comfort.
The Queen Mother took out three incense sticks, lit them and inserted them into the incense stand, staring at the Buddha's face for a long time.
Did she do anything wrong? Of course she didn't do anything wrong, it was us who were wrong.
If her Ye'er were still alive, she wouldn't be so isolated and helpless.
Just as I was thinking about it, the incense suddenly went out.
Her heart was pounding and she quickly got up and lit the oil lamp.
After a while, the incense went out again.
She hurriedly got up and changed another incense stick, but before she could light it, the incense stick broke into two pieces in her hand.
The empress dowager's hands trembled, the broken incense fell to the ground, and she slumped down on the cushion.
"Even you think I'm wrong?" She looked up at the Buddha statue. "Even you blame my mother?"
The compassionate and solemn face of the Buddha was slightly distorted in her tears, appearing sad and sorrowful.
The Queen Mother was deeply saddened and fell to the ground crying.
After a long while, she stopped crying, stood up and wiped her tears, and said to the two palace maids, "Get ready, I want to go to Taiji Palace."
Seeing is believing, hearing is not. Even if the eldest lady's expression did not seem fake, she still had to see it with her own eyes to believe it.
After the funeral of the previous emperor, Huan Xuan lived in the Liangyi Hall of Taiji Palace.
When the sedan chair reached the outside of the palace, it was already dark.
As soon as the empress dowager got off the sedan chair, she heard the sound of monks chanting scriptures to exorcise evil spirits in the bedroom. Her heart sank. Huan Xuan did not believe in Buddhism and Taoism. He would only invite monks and Taoists to perform rituals when the emperor was seriously ill.
She walked toward the bedroom, and the chief eunuch Gao Mai came to meet her.
"How is the Emperor?" asked the Queen Mother.
Gao Mai's eyelids were swollen: "Reporting to the Queen Mother, His Majesty has been sleeping for days and nights."
The Queen Mother frowned and said, "Take me to see him."
Two people walked into the hall one after the other, walked around the screen in front of the bed, and lifted the curtain in front of the imperial bed.
The lights in the palace were as bright as day. The queen glanced at the couch and suddenly felt as if she had fallen into an icy cave - this was like the nightmare she had that year reappearing.
She calmed herself down and asked, "What did the doctor say?"
Gao Mai opened his mouth with tears in his eyes: "Zheng Fengyu said that if there is no antidote for the disease, I am afraid..."
She choked up and said, "I'm afraid it will happen in the next two days..."
The Queen Mother trembled unconsciously.
In fact, she didn't even need to ask. Perhaps no one in the world was more familiar with the symptoms caused by this poison than she was. Not only had she taken care of her poisoned eldest son, she had also tried it on Gong Xi before poisoning Xiao Ling.
Six or seven days had passed since the late emperor's burial, and she knew at a glance that he was on his deathbed, and she couldn't deceive herself even if she wanted to.
It was not so easy to deceive her with a self-torture trick. Huan Xuan even disdained to deceive her. He was really willing to accompany Xiao Ling to death.
Suddenly she couldn't stay there any longer, so she stood up, turned around and walked quickly out of the hall, as if there was an evil ghost chasing her from behind.
After she finished speaking, Huan Xuan slowly opened his eyes.
He was awake, but had indeed been deeply poisoned and would not live for many days.
Gao Mai wiped his tears and said, "Your Majesty, what if the Queen Mother really doesn't have an antidote?"
Huan Xuan just smiled weakly: "I was just gambling, I will accept the loss if I lose."
Gao Mai asked, "Why does your majesty suspect that the queen mother has hidden the antidote?"
Huan Xuan turned his head slightly, looked at me and said, "Back then, Huan Rong bribed the alchemist in Prince Chen's mansion to poison my brother, and I myself drank half a bowl of poisoned Seven Treasures Soup..."
He took a breath and continued, "According to the medical records left by Zhao Kun, even if a small amount of this poison is swallowed, it will leave sequelae. If the dosage is not properly controlled, it is hard to say whether the person will die of poisoning... Huan Rong is so careful about his life, why would he take the poison soup to clear his suspicion if there is no antidote?"
Gao Mai said: "Even if there is an antidote, it may not be in the hands of the Queen Mother..."
Huan Xuan nodded and said, "So I am gambling."
He paused, with a hint of sarcasm in his eyes: "You don't know the Queen Mother's character. She wants to play with you in her hands all her life, and she will always keep a backup plan until the last moment, not to mention..."
He covered his mouth and coughed for a while, then took the silk handkerchief from Gao Mai and tucked the blood from the corner of his mouth: "When she was attending to the late emperor, she tasted the medicine herself every day. Do you think she has any signs of poisoning?"
…
The Queen Mother took a carriage back to Penglai Palace and tossed and turned on the couch until midnight. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the scene she had just seen in Liangyi Palace. The face that looked like Ye'er kept appearing in front of her eyes.
After finally waiting till dawn, she sat up from the bed and said to the eunuch, "Please ask the eldest lady to come into the palace."
Upon hearing the news, the eldest lady hurried to Penglai Palace without stopping. When she arrived at her mother's temple, the morning sun had just risen and the dew on the grass and trees was sparkling with crystal light in the morning light. Despite being pregnant, the eldest lady lifted her skirt and walked quickly up the stairs.
The queen was kneeling on a cushion with a slightly hunched back. Her hair seemed to have turned a lot whiter during the day. She was wearing a blue cloth Zen robe and looked no different from an ordinary old woman.
She looked like an empty shell of a clay sculpture, and there was deep fatigue in her eyes.
The eldest lady felt mixed emotions and gently called out "Mother".
The queen mother nodded expressionlessly and pushed a small porcelain box on the small table in front of her towards her: "Here is the antidote."
The eldest master's tense heartstrings suddenly relaxed, and he almost cried for joy.
Immediately, the Queen Mother's words were like a bucket of cold water poured over her head; "But you still can't save me."
The eldest master's face changed: "Why?"
The Queen Mother said, "Because there were two antidotes that I copied from Huan Rong, and I have already taken one."
The eldest son was skeptical.
The Queen Mother said, "You don't have to doubt me. I swear to the Buddha that if this is false, my soul will be scattered after I die, and I will never be able to meet Ye'er again."
The eldest lady fell silent. She knew that for her mother, this was the most poisonous oath.
The Queen Mother said coldly: "It's not that I don't want to save you, but you know your brother well. If I have an antidote, I will definitely give it to Xiao Ling."
The eldest master was sweating profusely: "Is there no other way?"
The Queen Mother took out a palm-sized piece of paper from her sleeve and said, "This is the antidote Zhao Kun prepared a few years ago."
The eldest master's eyes suddenly lit up.
The Queen Mother continued, "You are too happy too soon. This prescription cannot cure the poison, but it can temporarily control the toxicity. If the poisoning is not serious, taking the medicine every day may help you survive."
She paused and said, "Huan Xuan died of poison so quickly, he must have taken a lot of poison. This prescription can only extend his life for ten and a half months. But..."
The eldest princess was very smart and immediately understood the Queen Mother's hint. Xiao Ling did not take the poison directly, so perhaps the poisoning was not serious. Perhaps he could save his life with this prescription, so the antidote could be left to his younger brother.
Everyone has selfish motives, and the eldest son is no exception.
However, if Huan Xuan knew about this, he would definitely not agree. He would trick Xiao Ling into taking the antidote first... If Xiao Ling could survive, he would not die for her.
The Queen Mother saw her daughter's expression and knew that she understood. She said calmly, "I have already revealed all my secrets. It is up to you whether you believe it or not."
She glanced at her daughter and said, "Go ahead. Don't bother me anymore from now on."