It was the season of orioles flying and grass growing. The spring grass in the mountain pond courtyard of Chang'anfang in the south of the city was lush and luxuriant, and the willow branches by the pond in the back garden were long and winding. From time to time, spring swallows flew over the water, or water insects jumped out, creating circles of ripples.
Huan Xuan had returned to Shanchiyuan for more than ten days. On sunny days, he would take a sedan chair to visit the garden, sit for a while in the pavilion on the pond, doing nothing but quietly looking at the surface of the water.
It seemed like just yesterday that we were boating and fishing, riding horses and shooting arrows in the rain. I could still vividly remember her looking back on horseback. But when I thought about it carefully, I realized that it was several years ago. Even the pleasure boat had been burned down by him. Fortunately, the black horse was by her side. He always liked the way she rode a horse the most, so dazzling, so proud, just like the sun in midsummer.
However, he could no longer see the sun in midsummer, the lotus in the pond blooming, the stars in the clear summer night, and even less his Sui Sui. Although he knew her real name, he still couldn't help but secretly call her Sui Sui in his heart. The lonely fox walking alone was too lonely. It was a pity that he could no longer follow her. He could only wish from afar that she would get rid of the shackles in her heart, do whatever she wanted, and never be lonely again.
He looked quietly at the other side of the river. The peach and apricot blossoms by the pond turned into a piece of ink in his eyes.
Gao Mai said cautiously, "Your Majesty, the wind is cool by the water. Can I help Your Majesty go back to your room to rest?"
Huan Xuan nodded: "Okay."
He knew that the people around him still had some hope, because the prescription the empress dowager took out was indeed effective. After taking it for three to five days, his mind became much clearer, he was less drowsy, and he could even get out of bed and walk a few steps. Gao Mai and Grandma Gao were inevitably overjoyed, hoping that this medicine could save his life. Only he knew that his body was actually getting worse and worse. Although he was mostly clear-headed, as long as he was awake, he felt pain all over his body, as if someone was constantly drilling his temples and bone joints with a sharp awl. Even the medical officer didn't know that there seemed to be a layer of white film in front of his eyes, and his vision was becoming more and more blurry.
At first he thought there was something in front of his eyes, but after rubbing his eyes for a long time he realized that the problem was with his own eyes.
That medicine can only treat the symptoms but not the disease, it just keeps one alive. Living in such pain, clearly feeling the vitality slipping away bit by bit, is a torture for anyone.
But Huan Xuan was happy with it. At least he received news from Guan Liulang from Zhaoying every day. He knew that Sui Sui's condition was getting better and that she was ready to return to Heshuo.
The eunuch carried him back to Qinghan Courtyard on a sedan chair. Huan Xuan lay back on the couch, breathing rapidly, and it took him a long time to calm down. Every time he went to the garden, he would feel half dead in pain, but he still wanted to see more of the place where they lived together.
After he had caught his breath, the eunuch took off his sweat-soaked undershirt, wiped his body, changed him into clean clothes, and served him a bowl of medicine soup. Only then did he close his eyes weakly.
When I woke up, the sky was already filled with red clouds, and the warm sunset reflected a patch of orange and red in the curtain.
He heard the eunuchs outside bowing to someone, but he couldn't make out what they were saying. He didn't know whether it was due to the poison or physical weakness, but his hearing was not as good as before.
Only a few people knew that he was in Shanchiyuan. Before he left Taiji Palace, he had handed over all government affairs to the eldest princess. She was very busy and had little time to visit him. He just came to see her yesterday, so it couldn't be her, so it could only be Huan Minggui.
This idler had originally been planning to set off for Jiangnan, but when he learned that he had been poisoned and his trip was postponed, he probably knew that his chances of getting free food and drinks were running out, so he went to Shanchiyuan almost every day.
Although Huan Xuan looked disgusted, he was actually looking forward to his coming. He had been a loner all his life, but when his death was really approaching, he didn't want to go away alone.
The man walked to the bedside, and a blurry figure was reflected on the gold-painted gauze curtain. Huan Xuan frowned and pretended to be impatient: "Why are you here again? Is your Yuzhang Palace unable to make ends meet?"
The person who came paused, but said nothing.
Huan Xuan was a little surprised. Before he could say anything, the man took two steps forward and said softly, "It's me."
Huan Xuan felt his heart skip a beat, his mind went blank, and then cold sweat broke out on his forehead.
They were both in a state of dismay, like two statues staring at each other through a gauze curtain.
After a long while, Huan Xuan said, "I just woke up and didn't see clearly. Didn't Xiao Yujun set off for Wei Bo early this morning? Why did you come to Chang'an?"
The gauze curtain was thin, and Sui Sui could clearly see Huan Xuan inside the curtain from where he stood. Her figure was quite different from Huan Minggui's, so he shouldn't have recognized the wrong person.
Sui Sui had guessed that there was something wrong with his eyesight, but she didn't expose him. She just asked, "How long are you going to keep it a secret from me?"
As she spoke, she reached out to lift the curtains. Huan Xuan turned his back unconsciously. He knew what he looked like. He didn't want her to see his face, especially because he and his elder brother were poisoned by the same poison. Seeing him would inevitably remind him of his elder brother's death, which was like cutting another wound on her old face.
Sui Sui felt as if someone was pulling at her heart, and it was sore and painful. Without saying a word, she stretched his shoulders and asked, "Are you so scared of me?"
Although she was prepared in her heart, she was still stunned when she really saw his face.
His face was so pale that it was almost transparent, and his lips were bloodless, leaving only an ominous dark blue under his eyes. The most frightening thing were his eyes. His lacquer-like pupils were no longer as bright as before, but like glass beads covered with a layer of gray, embedded in the deep eye sockets.
They were so close, but his eyes were unfocused. He blinked gently, as if trying hard to fix his gaze on her face.
He pretended to be relaxed: "Don't worry, I'm just pretending."
Before he could finish his words, something warm fell on his cheek.
He raised his hand, as if to wipe her tears, but before he touched her cheek, his hand fell down due to weakness: "Don't cry."
He was a little short of breath and had to pause after saying two words to catch his breath: "Did your eldest sister tell you? She was also kept in the dark..." -
Sui Sui's voice trembled a little: "You still want to lie to me at this time?"
Huan Xuan said, "You have lied to me so many times... I finally tried to lie to you once, but it didn't work... It's all because you are too smart..."
Sui Sui said: "It's not that I'm too smart, it's that you're too stupid."
Huan Xuan nodded and admitted it: "Yes, you are smarter than me... So I also lose to you in chess..."
Sui Sui said: "We haven't really played the whole game of chess yet."
Huan Xuan said: "If you want to play chess, I still have the strength..."
Sui Sui was so angry that her heart ached. If he wasn't dying, she would have wanted to drag him out of bed and beat him up.
Huan Xuan continued to add fuel to the fire: "After the game, you... just hurry back to Heshuo..."
Sui Sui nodded: "Okay."
Huan Xuan choked. Although he sincerely didn't want her to stay and would only add to his sadness if he watched him weaken day by day, he couldn't help feeling a little upset when she agreed so readily.
But he would not admit it, and said with all his strength: "Forget about me. If you find someone who suits your heart..."
Sui Sui didn't wait for him to finish and said firmly: "No need."
Huan Xuan felt both sad and relieved. Who would have thought that she would continue, "No need to look for them. We have them ready. Last time, the Minister of Rites sent me a dozen people. The twins are good. They are handsome and pretty. I will take them to light lanterns during the Lantern Festival next year."
She paused, raised her eyelids and said, "If I keep seventy or eighty male lovers and live a carefree life every day, by the Lantern Festival next year, I won't even remember who the fool was who gave up his life for me."
Huan Xuan knew that she said this on purpose to irritate him, but he still felt like his heart was being cut by a knife. He almost couldn't breathe and died, but he still said, "Then I'm relieved..."
Before he could finish his words, his lips were sealed.
Huan Xuan suspected that he was dreaming, but the girl in the dream didn't feel so real, so soft and warm unbelievably.
Unfortunately, he was only intoxicated for a moment, and his lips were still painful.
Sui Sui's bite was quite severe, almost breaking the skin. Huan Xuan couldn't help but shed tears due to the pain, and his pale lips suddenly turned blood red. The red marks set off his pale face and watery black eyes, making him look like a sexy ghost in a legendary story.
Huan Xuan said: "I am a patient..."
Sui Sui said: "You are obviously stingy and overbearing, why are you pretending to be generous?"
Huan Xuan turned his face away: "I'm not pretending." What else could he do except being generous? As long as he could survive, he would hold on to her tightly, but he couldn't do it anymore.
The tears of pain just now flowed down the corners of my eyes, it was so sad that I couldn't express it in words.
She twisted his face to make him look directly into her eyes: "Since there is an antidote for this poison, I will definitely find the antidote."
Huan Xuan shook his head: "Anyone who knows the prescription will die..."
Sui Sui said: "The Queen Mother may still have some."
Huan Xuan felt bitter in his mouth and shook his head.
Sui Sui knew in his heart that the Queen Mother probably didn't have the antidote. He had already given her the antidote. The Queen Mother couldn't harm her, so there was no need for her to hide the antidote and let her own son die.
But she couldn't give up until the last moment.
She said, "If it's been too long and we can't find it there, we can look for it somewhere else. The poison came from Prince Chen's mansion. You issue a written order and I'll take people to that mansion and turn it upside down."
Huan Xuan was in agony, how could he not have imagined that Prince Chen's Mansion had been ransacked several times by him and the Princess's men.
"There is no antidote..." he said, "I have searched everywhere I could."
Sui Sui said: "Just because you can't find me doesn't mean you won't be able to find me, because I am better than you..."
Huan Xuan said: "I know you are smarter than me..."
Sui Sui glanced at him and said, "I'm not smarter than you, but I value your life more than you do."
Huan Xuan felt as if his heart was being pinched with a pair of tongs. It felt sore, painful, and warm. He couldn't even describe what it felt like.
But he knew that the feeling of holding on to hope and then having it shattered a little bit was too painful, and he didn't want her to endure it.
He said: "You saved my life, and now I am repaying you for saving my life."
Sui Sui said: "Since your life is mine, my say is final."
Huan Xuan was speechless for a moment, and after a while he said, "Sui Sui, let me hug you."
Sui Sui rolled her eyes at him and said, "Wait until you can get up by yourself before hugging me."
She paused, then said firmly: "You must live well until the last moment."
She took out a small object from her sleeve and threw it beside his pillow: "Tell me to keep your own things safe."
Huan Xuan didn't open it and didn't know it was the broken glass lamp.
"There are others who can help you put up more beautiful lanterns... This broken lantern is no longer useful." He said sourly.
Sui Sui said coolly: "Your Majesty, there is no need to belittle yourself."
Then she touched his lips lightly and said, "I still like this old one. It gets pleasing to the eye after a long time. It doesn't matter if it's broken, so I'll just put it down."
Huan Xuan wanted to reach out and embrace her, but he was powerless. She just touched him lightly and left, just like a gust of spring breeze that blew away the dark clouds and melted the ice and snow in his heart.
"Just lie down and relax," she squeezed his hand, "and leave the rest to me."
Huan Xuan was stunned. He was smart since he was young. When other children were younger, he already knew that he had no one to rely on. The people who took care of him and treated him well had to rely on him for a living.
On the battlefield, he is also the backbone of the entire army, and only others rely on him.
This was the first time someone told him that he didn't have to worry about anything and that he had someone he could rely on. Even though he knew the chances of finding the antidote were slim, he still felt inexplicably relieved.
Sui Sui understood his feeling because she was the same. Ever since she could remember, she was used to relying on herself. Her father had trained her this way since she was a child. Her fate was destined to be bumpy. Whether she was fighting in the battlefield or marrying the prince and entering the deep palace, she had no one else to rely on.
Huan Xuan was the first person who would hold her behind her in times of crisis, and the only person who would risk his own life to give her a chance of survival.
She squeezed his hand and pursed her lips. Just as she was about to say something, she heard footsteps outside the screen.
Gao Mai said carefully: "Your Majesty, Prince Yuzhang is here..."
Huan Xuan had never felt that Huan Minggui was so troublesome, so he said to Gao Mai, "Tell him to go to Dongxuan and wait, and tell him that I just went to bed..."
Halfway through the conversation, I heard someone say from the window: "Your Majesty, are you awake? I heard your Majesty's voice."
After a pause, he asked, "Hey, is Xiao Jun here too?"
Huan Xuan knew that he was asking knowingly, and he felt his teeth itching. He thought that Huan Minggui might still be plotting against him, so he
Sui Sui stood up and said, "That's great. I'll go find him later too."
Huan Minggui, this idler, was familiar with Huan Xuan's brothers. When Prince Chen poisoned Huan Ye, Huan Xuan was still young and was not as clear about the details as Huan Minggui.
Huan Xuan said with vigilance: "He is full of sweet words, he is not a good match... Even if I die, you should ignore him..."
Sui Sui said: "It's still unclear who is deceiving whom."
Huan Xuan could not refute and could only say: "He is too old."
Sui Sui said: "Being old has its advantages."
Huan Xuan was so angry that his cheeks almost bulged when he thought of this possibility: "No, unless you want me to die with my eyes open..."
Sui Sui said: "So you'd better stay alive."