Since her eldest son passed away, the queen had been in extreme grief and had almost ignored her husband. This was the first time she had invited him to have dinner with her.
After the emperor had finished discussing state affairs with his ministers in the previous court, he went to the empress's Zen temple. It was normal to be able to do so easily, but after being ignored for many years, he felt it was a great honor to be invited by the empress occasionally.
As soon as the sedan chair stopped in front of the palace gate, the queen came out in person to greet it.
Although she was a nun who kept her hair uncut and usually wore monk's robes like real nuns, today, for the first time, she wore secular clothes and a jade comb in her hair. Although she was still plain, she had some traces of her past.
The emperor could not help recalling the days when they were newlyweds and loved each other very much. His eyes became softer and he stepped forward to hold her arm. Together they walked through the corridor and entered the meditation room.
The two sat down opposite each other, the queen dismissed the attendants and made tea for the emperor herself.
The emperor took the rough earthenware tea bowl from her hand and looked at the tea in the bowl: "Why did you think of inviting me to dinner today?"
The queen took a sip of tea and said, "I have been thinking a lot recently."
She lowered her eyes: "After so many years, it's time for me to let go of my obsession. If Ye knew about this in the afterlife, he would definitely not want his mother to be like this."
The emperor's eyes moved and he put down his tea bowl unconsciously.
The queen raised her eyes to look at the emperor, her gaze fell on his graying temples.
The emperor laughed and said, "I am tired."
The queen raised her hand and brushed her hair, smiling slightly: "I am also tired."
After a pause, she said, "I have let your majesty down over the years."
The emperor leaned forward and held her cold hands: "We are husband and wife, why do you have to say such polite words."
For the first time in many years, the Queen did not withdraw her hand and continued, "I am not a good mother. Because of some knots in my heart, I have wronged Sanlang all these years."
There was a hint of surprise in the emperor's eyes.
The queen smiled sadly: "Your Majesty may not believe me, but I have been in a maze for the past few years. Even though I chanted sutras and worshipped Buddha every day, I could not get rid of it. Once I walked out of the maze and looked back, I found that I was laughing and hating. This is probably what Master said about 'sudden enlightenment'. It's just a pity for Sanlang."
The emperor patted her hands and said, "I can't let go of Ye's affairs either, not to mention that he was raised by you. It's already in the past, so don't blame yourself. Sanlang is a filial child, he will definitely understand and won't blame you."
The Queen said, "Your Majesty, there is no need to comfort me. At this point, I do not expect his forgiveness. But I am already dead, and my time is running out. I can try to make up for it in my lifetime, so that our relationship as mother and son will not be in vain."
After a pause, he said, "If I had known this would happen, I shouldn't have sent him to be raised in the harem."
The emperor said, "You can't blame me for what happened in the beginning. I had a close call with death when I gave birth to him, and he hasn't recovered for several years. And you can't believe everything about fortune-telling, and his horoscope is indeed unfavorable to me. If there is any discord, it will be too late to regret. He is in Ruan's harem, and all the food, clothing, and education are the same as Dalang and Erlang. You really don't need to blame yourself."
The Queen said, "Let's not talk about the past. I have avoided him for the past few years, which must have broken his heart."
The emperor was at a loss for words to comfort his wife, so he could only say, "Don't worry about the past. You will figure it out in time."
The queen nodded and said, "I was thinking that in two days it will be New Year's Eve, and it will also be his birthday. In the past few years, because of me, he always spent it alone in the mansion. This year we should get together."
The emperor was pleased and said, "That's what I meant, but it will take some time and effort."
The Queen continued, "Your Majesty is also being distant with me. I have Concubine De to help me, so I don't have to worry about anything."
He paused and said, "This is the first time we are celebrating the child's birthday. We should make it lively. Since there are not many people at home, why not invite some ministers from the clan and outside the palace?"
There had been precedents of granting a banquet to all ministers at the New Year's Eve banquet, so the Queen's suggestion was not excessive.
The emperor pondered and said, "If we celebrate with great fanfare, I'm afraid my Lord and his ministers may have other ideas."
The Queen said, "Don't mention the birthday to the public, just say that we will have a banquet on New Year's Eve."
She smiled sadly: "I'm sorry, I was eager to make amends and went too far."
The emperor said: "This child has indeed been wronged over the years. We should celebrate this."
He thought for a moment and said, "It's just that the New Year's Eve is approaching, and I don't have time to prepare for the banquet for all the officials. Why not invite the royal family to join in the fun?"
The Queen said, "Thank you, Your Majesty, for your help."
Her eyes flickered slightly: "By the way, how is the child of the Xiao family now?"
The emperor had never expected that she would mention Xiao Ling so calmly and was stunned.
The queen smiled faintly, her smile not reaching her eyes: "When I say let it go, I have let it go. It happened so many years ago, am I still angry with her? When she came to the palace to see me when she was a child, I liked her very much when I saw her. No wonder Ye Zhong loves her so much."
She looked gloomy: "If I hadn't insisted on stopping it at first, maybe..."
The emperor interrupted her hurriedly: "You can't be blamed for what happened last year. It was the children's mischief. Ye is a prince of a country. How could he give up his throne and go to Heshuo? I was thinking about him."
The Queen tucked her eyes and said, "When I was still a young girl, Madam Su and I often visited each other. After all, she is the daughter of an old friend. It is rare for her to come to the capital, and as an elder, I should not avoid her."
After a pause, she continued, "Besides, she is the governor of three towns. Even if it is for the sake of the country, I, as the queen, should treat her with courtesy. Your Majesty has been patient and tolerant of me for all these years, so I should also consider Your Majesty."
The emperor was moved: "I am more happy than anything else that you can put the past behind you."
The Queen continued, "That child doesn't have many relatives in the capital. It's not appropriate for her to spend such a big festival alone in the inn. It would make us look like we are not treating her well. Why not invite her to the New Year's Eve banquet with me? I also plan to summon her to the palace to see her on a certain day."
The emperor thought for a moment and nodded, "That's right. She is not an outsider, and she seems to get along well with you."
The Queen asked, "Should the letter be issued by Your Majesty or by me?"
The emperor thought for a moment and said, "She is an outsider after all, so I'll let her take over."
The queen nodded.
The two were speechless for a moment and drank a bowl of tea facing each other.
The emperor suddenly remembered something and smiled helplessly, "Oh, Sanlang is already grown up. I urged him to get married, but he just turned a deaf ear to me. I have to persuade him."
The queen's face showed worry: "Sanlang originally liked Aruan, and I arranged this marriage for Erlang. He must still be resentful of me."
A hint of hesitation flashed across the emperor's eyes, and he didn't tell his wife that his third son didn't want to marry a woman from outside the palace - their mother-son relationship was not easy to ease, and she might be angry again if she knew these things.
He said vaguely: "Take your time."
The two talked for a while, and the nun brought them dinner.
The Queen said, "I only have vegetarian food here. I apologize for your Majesty's inconvenience."
The emperor said, "As long as I can eat with you, it doesn't matter if I eat vegetarian food every day."
He put down his chopsticks and looked deeply into his wife's eyes: "When will you come back with me?"
The Queen avoided his gaze and said, "Your Majesty, please allow me to think about it for a few more days."
The emperor nodded: "Yes, yes."
…
After the Little New Year, every household in Chang'an City began to prepare to get rid of the old and welcome the new.
In the Prince of Qi's mansion, Gao Mai, Grandma Gao and others also began to prepare for the New Year - because the Prince of Qi had "tragic lost his lover", the people in the mansion had not celebrated in person for three years.
Since Lu Suisui is Xiao Ling and Xiao Ling is still alive, there is naturally nothing to worry about.
When Huan Xuan woke up in the morning one day, he saw a tiger head painted on the door, a "Yichun" sticker posted on it, and peach branches inserted in it. He suddenly realized that another year was coming to an end.
He never liked celebrating the Chinese New Year, and because of Xiao Ling, it became even more unbearable.
He plucked out the peach branches, took off the spring invitation, glared at the majestic and sharp-eyed tiger head, and then planned to go to the back garden to practice sword.
As soon as he walked out of the hospital gate, he saw Gao Mai running towards him breathlessly: "Your Highness, Your Highness, there is a eunuch in the East Palace with a message."
It was not uncommon for eunuchs to pass on messages in the palace every few days.
Huan Xuan raised his eyebrows and said, "What happened to your birth? You are so surprised."
Gao Mai said: "The one is Wang, the chief steward beside the Queen."
He paused and said, "Yes, Your Highness, please come to the palace in two days to attend the New Year's Eve banquet. Steward Wang also brought the birthday gift prepared by the Queen for Your Highness."
Huan Xuan was stunned for a moment, then said calmly, "I understand."
The birthday gifts that the Empress sent filled two large boxes, containing all kinds of gold, jade, rare treasures and precious items. The gift list was a long scroll.
After the eunuch left, Gao Mai, Grandma Gao and others could not hide their joy. Grandma Gao directed the servants to store the treasures bestowed by the Queen, and chanted "Amitabha" from time to time.
In their opinion, the Queen finally came to her senses, and the mother and son were finally able to let go of the knot in their hearts over the years.
Grandma Gao's eyes sparkled with tears as she murmured, "Your Highness has finally come to the end of all the suffering."
Gao Mai's eyes also turned red: "Who said it wasn't?"
Huan Xuan knew that the two loyal servants were genuinely happy for him and did not want to dampen their enthusiasm, as he could not be happy at all.
He didn't even bother to look at the gift list. As soon as the eunuch left, he went to the back garden with a knife in hand.
Normally he would practice swordplay for half an hour in the morning, then go back to his room to bathe and change clothes. Today he practiced in the back garden for two hours, and only returned to the yard when he was exhausted. He walked straight into the bathroom and submerged himself in the water.
The water in the pool was warm, but he felt cold all over, all the way to his heart.
The Queen said that as a princess she could not help but obey.
On New Year's Eve, Huan Xuan entered the palace early in the morning and paid his respects to the empress first.
The last time they met was the night when Concubine Shu died. The words the Queen said that night were still ringing in their ears, but they both seemed to have forgotten them completely.
The neglect and resentment of these years seemed to have never existed, and the relationship between mother and son seemed to have returned to many years ago, polite yet distant.
The queen asked about the wound on his face and easily accepted his explanation: "Be careful in the future."
Huan Xuan said: "Yes."
After exchanging a few polite greetings, both of them were at a loss for words and just drank their tea in silence.
The words they had spoken over the past twenty years combined might not have been as long as the gift list they put together that day.
After sitting for two cups of tea, Huan Xuan stood up and left.
Walking out of the stuffy Zen room, the cold wind filled his lungs, and he seemed to have finally lived a good life.
After leaving the Queen's Palace, he did not take the sedan chair, but walked north for a distance, passed a familiar alley, and looked west inadvertently. At the end of the palace wall, he could see the flying eaves. That was the bedroom of Ruan Xi's queen in her youth, and it was also where he grew up.
He hesitated for a moment and walked towards the palace.
When he was a child, he felt that the two palaces were separated by thousands of mountains and rivers. Now he realized that the two palaces were not far away from each other and he could reach them in no time.
Queen Ruan had passed away for many years and no one lived in the palace. Huan Xuan asked the eunuch to open the palace gate and walk into the courtyard.
The houses here still maintain the same appearance as many years ago, but the houses and courtyards seem to have become smaller.
He walked along the corridor, pushed open a small unlocked wooden door on the side, and walked into the Tangli Hall built on the east side of the main courtyard.
It was here that he first met Xiao Ling. They also buried a dead bird and planted a plum pit under the ginkgo tree in the courtyard.
He looked into the yard and suddenly found that the ginkgo tree was gone. He didn't know when it was moved away. Instead, a white plum tree was planted where the ginkgo tree had been planted. At this time, the plum blossoms were in full bloom, like a tree full of fragrant snow.
Huan Xuan was staring at the plum blossoms in a daze, when he heard a "creak" sound behind him and someone pushed the door open.
He turned around and saw a woman in red standing at the door looking at him in surprise. It was Xiao Ling.