I met that man in the summer seven years ago, and I was pregnant with his child in the winter six years ago.
He was drunk that day and was walking staggeringly among the fields in the countryside. When I passed by him, he suddenly rushed towards me, and I rolled with him into the muddy pond next to him.
I struggled to get up, but he kept shouting, "Don't go, don't go."
At that moment, I suddenly felt a sense of destiny.
I work in a bar in a small town. To be precise, I am a Taiwanese girl who dances and sings in the bar. It is just a facade to show off one's skills and not sell one's body. As long as the price is high enough, I can make it through all kinds of dangers.
But I have never heard anyone shout to me, don't leave, even though it was not calling me.
I took him home and skinned him clean.
Looking at him carefully, he looked like a scholar, but his eyebrows were flying into his temples, and he looked like a tiger and a tiger. A pair of hazy drunken eyes, with a peach blossom look, as if sleeping but not sleeping, full of naivety. Straight, aquiline nose, warm lips, and strong chin.
He asked me, who are you
I said: "I would like to be your wife."
He laughed heartily: "I, Mo Qian, will never marry in this life."
"Who are you so sad for?" I asked.
"You all don't understand. I just want to be brothers with him for the rest of my life, drink wine and sing songs for the rest of my life. I am getting farther and farther away from him." He looked out the window at the dark night with wide eyes, looking unwilling to do so. , it’s really charming.
"Are you asking a girl to be your brother, or are you still so sad for a man?" I found it quite funny, while brushing his messy hair. His hair was thick and hard, and felt prickly. I kissed his lips gently, convinced that no man could resist a woman like me.
He pushed me away fiercely: "Don't touch me."
If I didn’t touch you, you wouldn’t have fallen drunk and suffocated to death in the mud. What’s more, it was you who knocked me down first. You were so quick that you don’t remember.
That night, I was in bed with him, and he couldn't resist me anymore. However, I could never get him to take the final step.
However, he stayed at my place for a while, and one day, he ran away without even saying hello.
I saw him again, and he walked in with an older officer who looked like a man. The officer had a dark face and was lean, but he was also handsome. I sang a song on the stage, and the whole hall cheered. Even the officer, He also flocked to me, but he actually ignored me.
This was the first time I made an exception and didn't ask for a penny. I wanted to spend the night with him, but he refused.
I followed him and saw him helping the officer to a park. I heard them drinking and singing in the park.
The songs are old-fashioned, and they are all red songs.
"The east is red, the sun is rising, China has Mao Zedong..."
"The red clouds are flying over the western mountains at sunset, the soldiers are returning to camp from target practice, the red flowers on their chests are welcoming the colorful clouds, and happy songs are flying all over the sky..."
I have never heard such hearty and heroic singing, and I have never heard such heroic spirit. I walked in silently and sang whatever they sang. Mo Qian wanted me to go away, but the officer waved his hand and asked me to stay. He said that I sang very well.
That night, I sang with them all night long. The moon moved from the west to the east, the brightest star in the sky rose. The sky was getting brighter, but the officer also woke up from his wine.
"Mo Qian, there's not much future in following Chen Pai, it's better to go with Lin Pai," the officer said loudly.
"Chen Pai is kind to me." Mo Qian said.
"Why didn't I know?" the officer asked.
"At that time, you were sent out on a mission. Besides, Lin Pai refused to hire me, so I was transferred by him many times..."
"That's to train you. I've been transferred many times too," the officer said.
"Then go and tell Lin Pai to transfer me back. As long as he agrees, I will never go to Chen Pai again," Mo Qian said.
The two of them just agreed, holding hands and walking back with a hangover. Mo Qian, who was so heartless, didn't care at all that the girl stayed with me all night, so it was better for the officer to send me back first.
But I was very relieved and let them send me to my residence. Later, one of my sisters said very shamelessly: "You just hope that Mo Qian will deal with you, right? I think the other officer student is very powerful, which is not bad." "
Later I found out that his brother's name was Hongxuan.
Although I haven't read many books, I have heard the names of a few ancient people, such as: Hongli. However, even if I worship money, I will not fall in love with him. I like to shout to me that night, I don't want to leave. man.
Later, I heard that Hongxuan did not persuade anyone from Lin Pai and transferred Mo Qian to work together.
Mo Qian didn't react at all.
He is like a monk in Tang Dynasty, who remains calm in the face of beautiful women, and seems to be indifferent to the loss of his most desired position. Does this man have any emotions
But no matter what, Mo Qian has developed a habit. Once he is in a bad mood, he will come to my place to listen to music and drink. Although his consumption is very small, I am also happy to do so. He drank, and I accompanied him. He had no money, so I paid the bill. When he was drunk, I gave up all social activities and helped him to my room.
Late one night, Mo Qian was drunk again. He was staggering when he walked. I supported him before walking out, but was stopped by a regular customer. He is a street bully. I kept apologizing to him, hoping to get his understanding, but he remained unmoved and insisted that I accompany him tonight. Mo Qian was swaying, suddenly furious, grabbed the man and beat him. It's not a problem for Mo Qian to start a fight with an ordinary person. After all, he is from the army. When he meets a bully who fights all the time, he is no match. He was beaten to a bloody head by the bully. If I hadn't called the police, I don't know what would have happened. .
After Mo Qian was injured, he didn't dare to go back to the countryside, so he asked me to call his Chen Pai to ask for leave. Chen Pai seemed to have a good temper and asked me to take good care of Mo Qian, so I won't mention it. Mo Qian stayed at my place to recover from his injuries, but he seemed to be very aggressive by nature. He never forgot about the bully and was so angry that he almost lost his mind.
As for him, he lost his mind not because he went to fight, but because he had our first time.
If there is a first time, there will be a second time.
Mo Qian officially became my boyfriend. For him, I also quit my job at the bar. It was a well-paying job. I had to take care of my seriously ill father.
Honey, I had to go there. I changed to another bar, but I was really selling my art and not my body. If I were to sell my body, I would only sell it to Mo Qian, free of charge.
Mo Qian seems to be getting richer and richer, and more and more impressive. Not long after, he found a group of people and gave the street bully a severe lesson. I heard that he was beaten so hard that he never dared to come out again. For a while, everyone in our street praised him. Later, I heard that the bully was beaten by someone. It was only after removing an arm that I felt creepy. But I see that Mo Qian looks so peaceful and fair, and does not look like a bad guy at all. He is not short-sighted, but has some astigmatism. He often wears a pair of glasses with silver frames, and is more elegant and ink-like. Qian likes to read books when he has nothing to do, such as Houhei Xue, Cai Gen Tan, The Villain Dezhi and so on. He doesn't look like a villain. He smiles heartily. Although he has been a soldier, he doesn't look like a soldier at all. He is gentle and elegant. I really, like it very much. I don't believe it. But he did such a vicious thing. .
But at any rate, he was doing it for me.
I was relieved.
Mo Qian helped me buy a house and sent my dad away, but he became more and more aggressive, drank more and more, and had a bad temper.
The first time I got pregnant, he kicked me in the stomach and I miscarried. It was a three-month-old child that Mo Qian and I had just because I accidentally scratched the silver rim of his glasses. He was angry and irritable, and I complained a few times.
Mo Qian is sad, I can see it. At that time, I also wondered whether he was sad for me or for our children. But later, too far away, I realized that he was sad only because he thought he had betrayed someone.
I will live cautiously from now on. I only know that as long as I don't mention Hongxuan, as long as I don't touch those glasses, and as long as I don't want him when he doesn't like it, I can stay by his side peacefully. Although I was trembling with fear, I felt very happy.
I was pregnant for the second time. I paid close attention to the changes in my body, and I was able to detect it within two months.
At that time, it was really shameful to get pregnant before marriage. I wanted to take advantage of this moment to get married.
Mo Qian and I proposed marriage.
He was supposed to be the one who brought it up. He was supposed to come to my house with the betrothal gift and marry me out in all glory. But even though I was pregnant with this child, he still didn't want to marry me. On the contrary, he actually doesn't want this child
He said that he was still young and having children was really a burden.
He said that I was still young, and he said that I was not worthy of doing this to him.
He broke up with me and said he didn't love me anymore.
I do know that he doesn't love me anymore, but why did he keep me by his side for more than a year. When he is gentle and has a good temper, he is so kind to me and my family. Is this why
I'm not willing to accept that even if he doesn't love me anymore, I still want this child. I heard that children can leave behind their father's hasty departure. I hope that my child can also help me keep his father.
That day, he suddenly became affectionate and gentle, but he added abortion pills to the water he handed me.
Fortunately, he was not familiar with pharmacology, and the abortion pills were of inferior quality. I suffered from abdominal pain in the hospital for three days, but in the end I was able to save the baby.
I started to think about whether he still had a little bit of affection for me.
The answer will soon be known.
He didn't come to the hospital to visit me for a single second. He went to the countryside to attend his brother Hongxuan's wedding. I heard that after the wedding, he cried so much that he was drunk. I even heard one of my sister's friends say that Mo Qian's Those glasses were given to him by Hongxuan
I lost a child because my glasses were scratched, and I almost lost another child because of Hongxuan’s wedding. Everything about Hongxuan and Mo Qian appeared before me vividly, and I, even more so, when Mo Qian accidentally left behind Hongxuan's thoughts can be seen in the few scraps of paper he wrote down. Brother, do you know that there was a time when the sea was difficult to overcome, except for Wushan, it was not a cloud.
He has never said such poetic sentences to me. He has never said to me even three words, "I love you." I suddenly realized that for more than a year, everything has been just a lie.
What a shocking joke. I can't believe it. The man I love so deeply, the one he admires in his heart, is another man. I want to send the letter to Hongxuan, so that he can meet his brother, his friend, and the other man. He has such a wretched mind, and I have always been just a tool for him to vent his desires. But I am afraid, I am afraid of being caught by Mo Qian. . .
I chose to run away. Before Mo Qian heard that I had failed to have an abortion and rushed to the hospital, I had the help of Zhang Chengli from the same village.
He fled far away and went to the most remote mountain village in Tianfu Township.
I didn't expect that Mo Qian's net could be spread very far by then, but at least he had his own eyes and ears in every countryside. Later, Zhang Chengli told me that he was actually Mo Qian's subordinate. In order to send his younger brother to school, he signed a contract with Mo Qian and did some unscrupulous things.
In order for me to give birth safely, Zhang Chengli arranged for me to stay at his home. In my hometown, Mo Qian only had Zhang Chengli's eyes and ears, so Mo Qian searched all the towns and villages near Tianfu Township but could not find my hiding place.
It’s just that when I gave birth to my daughter, he caught me anyway. When he showed up at the hospital, he would forcibly snatch me away from me. If Zhang Chengli hadn’t secretly called the police, he would have snatched even the newborn child away from me. Life or death was unpredictable. With the help of Zhang Chengli, I ran far away with my baby, who was just a few days old. It wasn't until more than a year later that I returned to another town, where Zhang Chengli had the ability to arrange things for me.
I lived in fear for five years under Mo Qian's nose.
He was very good to me, provided me with basic necessities, food, clothing, housing, and transportation, and took good care of me. However, he did not dare to go far away from me because he joined a small organization of Mo Qian, did a lot of bad things, and had a criminal record, and his brother and family members were all Under Mo Qian's control. It was then that I discovered that Mo Qian was a terrifying person.
I hated him for being toyed with by him for so long. Because I took his abortion pills, I became very weak after giving birth to my daughter. No matter how diligently he took care of me, it would be difficult for me to recover and there would be no way to save me.
Seeing that my health is deteriorating day by day, seeing that my mother is about to pass away. My only daughter, An An, my mother hopes to treat you well and raise you well after you are born. You have inherited your mother's singing voice, and you might even become a little star in the future.
I only hope that my beloved daughter will be safe and sound. From now on, your surname will be Zhang and your first name will be An'an. You must always remember it.
When you turn eighteen and become an adult, I will give you this final letter of mine.
Mom is very reluctant to leave you, don't hate mom, mom loves you. . .