After that, they moved out of Song Boyang's house, and Mi Sheng rented a single room next to Chen Xingze's school. Chen Xingze wanted to get the rent, but Mi Sheng did not agree.
"You're still a student, don't waste your money."
"No, either I take it or share it equally, you choose."
Listening to his strong speech, Mi Sheng laughed, and Chen Xingze was seduced by that smile and hugged him. He let Mi Sheng lie in his arms, and Mi Sheng stretched out his fingers to touch his face.
"You want to raise me so much?"
"Yes, I can raise it, and I can make money myself."
Chen Xingze has taken up some composition work since the second year of sophomore year. He used to be an entertainment practitioner. Since he was with Mi Sheng, he has also started to plan his work and life seriously.
Chen Xingze also found a special time to go home and confess to his parents about Mi Sheng. He omitted some things that could be said or not, and only told them what could not be concealed.
"What?" Wu Xingzhi was dumbfounded, "Ten years older than you?!"
"what."
"Then he is in his thirties now?"
"Yeah, still young."
"Chen Xingze!"
Chen Xingze cleared his throat, "Age, that's what it is, you know that I have a classmate in Shanghai who got married in the third year, and his girlfriend is seven years older than him. The South doesn't care much about age, our side is too backward. already."
Wu Xingzhi said angrily, "Don't follow me, it's not like I don't have friends in Shanghai!"
Chen He sat on the sofa smoking a cigarette, and said solemnly: "Don't make any noise, you can talk about his situation in detail, family, education, work, how are these?"
These... don't look like much.
Chen He frowned, "Aren't you being deceived by others?"
Chen Xingze: "Impossible, we have known each other for a long time."
Chen He: "Then why have you never heard of him."
Chen Xingze sat on the sofa with his head down.
"I... I didn't see him that way at first."
Looking back now, he met Mi Sheng at the age of sixteen, met him at the age of seventeen, and separated from him at the age of eighteen. During those glorious and painful years, he poured his whole heart into You Xiaolin and Lu Hao, Mi Sheng seemed to be always wandering, and seemed to be everywhere.
"Dad, Mom, I'm serious, let's meet up first."
Wu Xingzhi said in a low voice, "Your conditions clearly can find better ones."
"It couldn't be better."
The older Chen Xingze grew up, the more he felt that the energy of a person's life was limited. He was too precocious, and he was full of love at an early age. And he is slow, and each relationship lasts for many years. Before the age of eighteen was the most important time in his life. Every song he wrote and every piece of music he composed now has its roots there.
Now it is difficult for him to lift up the spirit to repeat the same thing, to understand again, to fall in love again, and to give everything again. Even if he did, when he thought that that person never knew the childish and affectionate self back then, he always felt as if something was missing.
Perhaps the old saying "the clothes are not as good as the new ones" is the feeling.
The only person who always existed in his emotional life was Mi Sheng.
In the silence, Chen He said: "If you really like it, let's meet and see. You have grown up and have your own opinions on many things, but remember to love and respect yourself, you are always a man, and you must know responsibility and responsibility. "
Chen Xingze felt that in his last life, he was probably an accomplished man who had saved all sentient beings, and he was fortunate enough to be reincarnated into such a family in this life.
Chen Xingze moved out of the dormitory and lived with Mi Sheng. When packing up, Shi Kai sat aside and asked, "Are you going to make a decision so early?"
"Is it early? I'm a year older than you."
Shi Kai pouted, "What is one year old, ten years old is great."
Chen Xingze heard what he meant, turned around and pinched his face aggressively.
"Don't talk about him."
Before, Chen Xingze always thought that Mi Sheng was the kind of person who likes to play, but after living together, he unexpectedly found that Mi Sheng was much more homely than he thought, and he basically wouldn't go out when he was not working.
Since Chen Xingze decided to live with Mi Sheng, he has never asked his family for money again. This is Mi Sheng's request. Mi Sheng's own relationship with his relatives was rigid, and he more or less extended this thought to Chen Xingze's family. In his opinion, it is a great blessing for Chen Xingze's parents to agree to their cohabitation. If they are allowed to spend more money, they will one day turn their backs on things, and they will be lucky.
"I don't need money from your family, I can also help you study."
Chen Xingze looked at Mi Sheng who said these words in a serious manner, his heart was sour, he held him in his arms and rubbed his face hard. Mi Sheng laughed at him and kissed his face.
However, Wu Xingzhi was afraid of their hard work, so he often paid Chen Xingze secretly. When Chen Xingze had money, he would take Mi Sheng out to eat delicious food. After a year, they were eaten by them all over the streets and corners of Shanghai. Chen Xingze likes to go to a Beijing hot pot restaurant on Urumqi Middle Road. He discovered it by accident. He likes to eat their mutton, and he takes Misheng there almost once a week. In the end, the boss got familiar with them and gave them four drunk crabs in the autumn. It is said that they specially invited the master to pick them up, and they only sold for 200 yuan outside.
Mi Sheng often misses his family, so Chen Xingze took the initiative to contact Mi Jie. Although Mi Jie had no good feelings for Mi Sheng, she unexpectedly had a good impression of Chen Xingze. Relying on her youth, Chen Xingze pestered her with a stubborn face. On several occasions, she actually succeeded in calling out her and her husband to come to Shanghai, and the two families ate together. Mi Sheng's mother's condition has improved, and his father's illness will continue. Mi Sheng consciously owed the family, he and Chen Xingze saved money on weekdays, and called Mi Jie to help his parents spend their old age in peace.
Life falls on diesel, rice, oil and salt, stable and dull.
Occasionally when it is too bland, Mi Sheng will bring some surprises. For example, when visiting the supermarket one day, Mi Sheng picked up a bag of Xizhilang jelly. Chen Xingze was surprised that such an adult still likes to eat snacks from children, but Mi Sheng did not smile. After dinner in the evening, Mi Sheng went to take a bath, and when he came out, he was very charming. Chen Xingze immediately took off his earphones, and a vicious dog pressed Mi Sheng on the bed. Mi Sheng asked him to lie down, sat on top of him, untied his pants chain with one hand, and put a jelly in his mouth with the other.
That day, Chen Xingze was stimulated by the brand new touch and almost had premature ejaculation. In the end, Mi Sheng lay on top of the sweaty Chen Xingze and asked him in a low voice, "Do you like children's snacks?"
Chen Xingze was so excited that he rolled over and pressed Mi Sheng under him, covered the two with a quilt, and scratched him inside. In the dead of night, in a corner that no one saw, the laughter of lovers fell like jade beads.
But life isn't all smooth sailing.
With the end of the campus era, Chen Xingze slowly stepped into the society and developed his career. He has had successes and failures, because the newborn calf has made some famous achievements, and he has suffered a blow because of his youth and frivolity. But no matter how difficult it is, as long as he thinks that Mi Sheng is still waiting for him in that small house, Chen Xingze's heart will calm down.
Work is getting busier, there is less slow time to consume, and everyone is starting to streamline their social circles. Chen Xingze didn't do it on purpose, but when he returned to his senses, he found that the most solid circle of friends around him was already a comrade friend represented by Shi Kai.
He understands more and more the biological instinct that things gather together.
Chen Xingze did not hide his sexual orientation, and some colleagues knew about his cohabitation with Mi Sheng. Not everyone is You Xiaolin, many people will never apologize to him after saying "disgusting" to him.
Chen Xingze is sometimes hurt by sudden malicious attacks, but fortunately... Fortunately, there is still Mi Sheng, and fortunately there are still those pure and pure memories. He always comforts himself, it doesn't matter, the pure land in his heart is bright. The more complicated and dirty the society is, the more he should thank God for treating him well. All the love he had given and received, the love without impurities, had all turned into spring mud to come back to protect him.
Life moves in trials.
During Chen Xingze's relationship with Mi Sheng, the deepest conflict occurred in the second year of his graduation.
This year, Lu Hao returned to China.
Chen Xingze started to hear about Lu Hao when he was in his junior year. There were several classmates in their high school class who went to the United States. Chen Xingze learned about Lu Hao's social account from one of them. He couldn't access the Internet in China, so he bought a special one. VPN over the wall to see him.
Lu Hao had already obtained a US green card, and his method of obtaining the green card was a bit special, so he went straight to join the army. Chen Xingze saw some photos on his social account wearing military uniforms, hanging out with a group of foreigners, laughing and laughing, wearing his hat crookedly, and advocating the evil wind of capitalism.
No pain could be seen from his heartless smile, but when his roommate's mother died of illness, he posted a message, "God seems to like to bring people with similar fates together."
From this sentence, more or less can see the traces of the past.
Chen Xingze also saw that Lu Hao made a girlfriend. He made it quickly and divided it quickly. His girlfriends were both Chinese and foreigners. The last student he was with was an international student. This time, he seemed to be serious. The two traveled to many places together.
When Chen Xingze has nothing to do, he will log on to the account to see where they go to play and what photos they have posted. Seeing that Lu Hao liked his girlfriend so much, he felt a little disappointed in his heart, but he could adjust it soon.
Lu Hao had been with his girlfriend for three years, but one day they had a dispute and the two broke up. Lu Hao sent a message, "I may be an asshole." The woman forwarded the message and commented, "That's right."
The two were at odds, and friends on both sides were trying to persuade them to reconcile. Chen Xingze was also very worried. On a weekend, he boarded at noon to see it, and Lu Hao just updated a status. Chen Xingze calculated the jet lag and knew that Lu Hao stayed up late.
What Lu Hao sent was a table full of empty wine bottles, accompanied by a sentence—
"I may never be able to treat someone like that again."
He finished the message and deleted it five minutes later.
Chen Xingze sat at the table for a long time, finally buttoned the computer, went to the bathroom and cried.
For more than seven years, Chen Xingze rarely recalled things about Lu Hao for various reasons. And this is also the first time Lu Hao mentioned that past on social software. His words opened the door to Chen Xingze's memories. Chen Xingze remembered their first meeting in the badminton class, they played basketball together at school, and they went skiing on Christmas Eve.
He remembered many, many, and finally cried so much that his eyes could not be opened.
Afraid that Mi Sheng would find out, he specially opened a shower to pretend to take a bath. During this period, Mi Sheng knocked on the door, and Chen Xingze was startled. Mi Sheng said outside, "I'll go buy some food and I'll be back later."
He didn't know that Mi Sheng had actually been smoking downstairs.
Chen Xingze thought that Mi Sheng didn't know the news that he saw Lu Hao, but how could it be? To Mi Sheng, Chen Xingze was almost everything to him. Mi Sheng knew all his thoughts, happiness and pain.
He was just forbearing.
It didn't take long for Lu Hao to return to China. In order to visit relatives, he attended You Xiaolin's wedding by the way.
You Xiaolin got married very early, and got married just after graduating from graduate school. His girlfriend was a college classmate. His wedding was held in Beijing and many classmates were invited. Chen Xingze also got in touch with Lu Hao at that time. Lu Hao first called Chen Xingze and asked him if he would go to You Xiaolin's wedding. Chen Xingze said of course he would go. Get together."
The wedding was in the winter, and Chen Xingze made preparations for the party, and then went to Mi Sheng to talk.
But Misheng disagreed.
It's okay to read the news on the Internet before. Now that Chen Xingze is going to see Lu Hao, Mi Sheng can't allow it anyway.
Mi Sheng was too afraid of Lu Hao, the kind of deep-rooted fear.
The harder Chen Xingze was, the more angry Mi Sheng became, and he turned his face in the end.
"Don't come back if you dare to go."
Chen Xingze was inexplicably murdered.
"What’s wrong with you?"
"Are you embarrassed to ask me what's wrong?"
"I can't go to my classmate's wedding?"
"You just went to the classmate's wedding?"
Mi Sheng stared straight at him, trying to see through it for him. "Why don't you speak, are you guilty?"
"Why do I have a guilty conscience?" Chen Xingze frowned, "Don't be so suspicious. I'm attending a wedding. Do you understand the wedding?"
Seeing that he was still arguing, Mi Sheng blushed with anger.
"Are you going to see the married one? You want to see the unmarried one!"
Chen Xingze was stunned for a moment, and finally reacted.
"How do you know that Lu Hao is going?"
"I can't know?"
Chen Xingze suddenly remembered that Mi Sheng often used his mobile phone and computer recently. When he asked, Mi Sheng said he was playing games. Chen Xingze also wondered why Mi Sheng who never played games suddenly liked to play. Now he finally understands.
It was the first time that Chen Xingze got angry with Mi Sheng. Mi Sheng always coaxed him before, but this time he refused to back down.
"Is there something you can't show me?"
"Then you can't turn it like this."
"Are you afraid of me watching if you don't have a ghost in your heart?"
"I didn't tell you because I was afraid you would think too much."
Mi Sheng's face was cold, and he couldn't listen to Chen Xingze's explanation at all. He leaned against the table and said coldly, "Chen Xingze, let me tell you this, you can meet anyone you want, even if you cheat, I can forgive you, as long as it's not Lu Hao. ."
Chen Xingze was stunned.
"Can you say that again?"
Mi Sheng's lips pursed like a knife's edge. He also knew that he had said the wrong thing, but he couldn't take it back. He just didn't want to admit defeat.
"You are really unreasonable." Chen Xingze left a sentence and left with a bag.
In fact, the wedding is just an ordinary wedding, and the party is just an ordinary party. Everyone has been away for many years and sees each other in a hurry.
You Xiaolin is much more cheerful than before, he is more handsome, and he is a perfect match for his girlfriend.
Chen Xingze and Lu Hao met at the door of the hotel, and when Lu Hao saw Chen Xingze, he rushed over excitedly, "Hey Chen Xingze!" He put his arms around Chen Xingze's shoulder and gestured to throw him over the shoulder, but Chen Xingze kicked him, "You US military Still using hand-to-hand combat?"
Lu Hao was surprised, "How do you know that I am a soldier?"
"Who doesn't know about you."
Chen Xingze accidentally leaked his mouth, but fortunately Lu Hao didn't care at all, and quickly discussed the red envelope for You Xiaolin.
"I only came back yesterday, and I came directly from Beijing. I don't have any cash in my hand. You can help me with a red envelope."
"I won't help you, take the money yourself."
"Help, I'll give you dollars."
"No, China can't spend it."
"Chen Xingze! You haven't seen each other for such a long time, why don't you show some loyalty!"
"Don't talk."
The two quarreled all the way into the hotel. You Xiaolin was entertaining guests. When he saw them, he smiled and said, "Why are you two still like before, and you get tired of being together as soon as you meet."
When Lu Hao saw You Xiaolin, he immediately hugged Chen Xingze and provocatively said, "Yes, he used to be more kissable to me than you, and he is the same now!"
You Xiaolin looked at the hand he put on Chen Xingze's shoulder and sneered.
"You go to America and you're dumber than you were before."
"Ah?" Lu Hao seemed to understand, but Chen Xingze raised his head and said with a smile, "Let's go, go in."
After they attended the wedding that day, a few classmates who had a good time went out alone for the second round. They booked a KTV, and Lu Hao roared a song and went down to drink. Chen Xingze asked him how he was with his girlfriend. Lu Hao glanced at him and muttered, "You know I have a girlfriend? How do you know everything."
Chen Xingze didn't drink, and his thinking was much clearer than Lu Hao's.
"Don't make a child's temper, the girls have to be coaxed."
"Cut." Lu Hao said drunkenly, "You don't even know her and you still speak for her."
Chen Xingze smiled.
Lu Hao continued drinking and asked after a while, "How are you doing?"
"pretty good."
"You didn't contact me... Hey, you didn't like to contact me before, you just wanted me to contact you."
Chen Xingze didn't dare to look at him, so he pretended to be relaxed and said, "I'm not afraid that you will feel awkward."
Lu Hao was quiet for a while, then raised the bottle and drank it.
"No..." He chuckled and said to himself, "How could it be."
Chen Xingze felt that they shouldn't talk about this topic, he looked at the classmates who were singing, but his mind was on Lu Hao who was drinking. Lu Hao drank two more bottles and called out, "Wife..."
The music on the KTV was loud, Chen Xingze felt that this sound was probably his hallucination, he turned his head, saw Lu Hao's red eyes, and knew that it was indeed his call.
The vicissitudes of life.
Lu Hao said, "Is there anyone with you?"
Chen Xingze nodded, "Yes."
Lu Hao smiled and said, "I guess it's the same, you are such a nice person, there must be a lot of people rushing to love you."
Chen Xingze was helpless, "How can it be so exaggerated."
"It's not an exaggeration, you're fine, you're not a bastard like me."
"Who said you were an asshole?"
“Abby…”
"Your girlfriend?"
"Um."
"Why did she call you an asshole."
"I don't know... Various reasons." Lu Hao leaned his head back on the sofa and rubbed his forehead with a big hand. "Sometimes I also feel like an asshole, as if I can give up anything easily."
"Don't think so, you're not that kind of person."
Lu Hao remembered something, smiled lightly, and murmured, "But when I think about how recklessly I once loved you, I know that at least I'm not a born bastard."
Chen Xingze's fingertips trembled slightly, but he finally couldn't hold back and asked in a low voice, "Have you ever regretted it?"
Lu Hao paused, as if he was reviewing the past, and then said with certainty, "No." He looked at Chen Xingze drunkenly, "If I really go all the way to the dark, then the old man will probably have to point to this passage. The memory is alive."
So far, Chen Xingze finally understood what Zhao Shan said to him back then.
He took Lu Hao's arm and said, "What does it mean to go all the way to the dark, don't think about it. Let me ask you, do you like Abby?"
Lu Hao frowned, Chen Xingze: "You dare say you don't like her, you forgot the places you went together? You forgot what wish you made under the pyramid when you went to Egypt?"
Lu Hao was reddened by Chen Xingze's fierce eyes.
"...How come you even know this."
As soon as Chen Xingze saw him cry, he knew that no matter what he looked like from the outside, he still had the same personality as before, and he didn't change at all.
"If I remember correctly, Abby has your name tattooed on her wrist."
"Um."
"That's the place to be drawn when the wrist is cut. What does that mean? It means that she sees you as important as life."
Lu Hao looked stupid, "Really?"
In fact, it's all nonsense, but Chen Xingze nodded firmly, "Of course."
Lu Hao's expression was about to cry again, and Chen Xingze persuaded him, "Apologize to her immediately after you go back, do you hear me?"
Lu Hao didn't say a word, Chen Xingze said, "You don't listen to me anymore?"
Lu Hao finally gave a dull hum.
"listen… "
In the second half of the party, You Xiaolin came. At that time, Lu Hao was half drunk and half awake. When he saw You Xiaolin, he asked quietly, "...do you still keep the pen he gave you?"
Chen Xingze was sweating with embarrassment, You Xiaolin pushed Lu Hao on the sofa, "Go to sleep quickly."
The classmates coaxed the groom to come here not to accompany the bride, You Xiaolin said, "I'll see you, I'll leave later." He came to Chen Xingze, "I was too busy just now, so I didn't talk to you. ,How are you?"
Chen Xingze: "It's good."
The two chatted for a while, and You Xiaolin said, "I'm free tomorrow, I'll invite you to dinner."
"No, I'll be back in a minute."
You Xiaolin was surprised, "I'm leaving now? You only arrived at noon."
Chen Xingze: "Tomorrow Christmas, I have to rush back."
"why?"
Chen Xingze smiled, and You Xiaolin said, "Okay, I understand."
Chen Xingze snapped his fingers, "It's easy to talk to smart people."
They chatted for a while, and Chen Xingze got up to leave.
Walking out of the private room, You Xiaolin stopped him at the door.
"I still have the pen." He looked at Chen Xingze and said with a smile, "You have to be good. If you need help with anything, you must come to me."
Chen Xingze joked: "Oh, the researcher appointed by the Chinese Academy of Sciences is a cow."
You Xiaolin hummed, "Get out of here."
Chen Xingze went out of KTV and took a deep breath in the winter night.
It's really vicissitudes.
Chen Xingze took a taxi and went straight to the airport, stopped once on the way, and went to the roadside store to buy a box of gifts.
On the journey again, he stared at the snowy scenery outside the window and felt that everything was like a dream.
The neon lights flashed away, Chen Xingze kept praying in his heart, hoping that everyone's wishes would come true, and that the people he loves would have a happy ending.
It was already midnight when he returned to his home in Shanghai. As soon as he entered the door and turned on the light, he saw Mi Sheng sitting on the ground with his knees in his arms. He didn't move at the position where he last saw him.
Chen Xingze went over and squatted beside him.
"Misheng."
He called him, Mi Sheng didn't look up, his body trembled slightly, hugging his knees tighter.
"I said the wrong thing," Mi Sheng's voice was hoarse, "Is it okay if I admit that I said the wrong thing, you know what I said is angry, and you just left..."
Chen Xingze hugged him, "I'm sorry, I was wrong, you forgive me this time, and you can look at my phone and computer as you like."
His apology makes Mi-sung cry even harder.
"I thought you weren't coming back."
"Where can I go if I don't come back?"
He finally calmed Mi Sheng, and when he helped him up, Mi Sheng's body trembled violently. "Have you not eaten for a day?" Mi Sheng nodded embarrassedly, and Chen Xingze sighed, "Don't you know that you have low blood sugar, I'm going to cook a bowl of noodles, you are waiting for me here."
Chen Xingze was boiling water in the kitchen, while beating eggs, Mi Sheng came in and washed vegetables silently beside him.
"Are they all right..."
"Very good, You Xiaolin's wife is more economical than him, the banquet is all packed, and there are no cigarettes left."
"Where's Lu Hao?"
"He's pretty much the same as before. He had a fight with his girlfriend before returning to China this time, but I should have persuaded him."
Mi Sheng looked over.
"He has a girlfriend?"
"There must be, it's been so long."
Mi Sheng lowered his head to wash the vegetables again.
"By the way," Chen Xingze remembered something, wiped his hands, and took out a small box from his trouser pocket. "Almost forgot, it's past twelve, Merry Christmas."
Mi Sheng stared blankly as Chen Xingze took out a necklace with a star pendant from the box.
Chen Xingze tied a necklace for Mi Sheng, "Wear this first, I will give you a better one later."
Mi Sheng's slender fingers pinched the star and watched it for a long time.
Chen Xingze felt that his expression was really cute, he bent over and said, "Kiss me."
Mi Sheng touched Chen Xingze's lips, and Chen Xingze went back to beat eggs contentedly.
"Misheng."
"Um."
"I love you."
"Um."
"I will love you forever."
"Um… "
A long time ago, Chen Xingze thought about when he would say this. The scenes in his fantasy are mostly impassioned, and he never thought that he would make such a solemn vow while beating eggs.
Mi Sheng has been looking at the necklace. He may not know what this sentence means to Chen Xingze, but it doesn't matter. Chen Xingze is used to unilateral promises.
On the festival celebrating the birth of Christ, Chen Xingze decided to carry a cross named "eternity" for himself.
Today, tomorrow, when you wake up, or in your dreams, if there is reincarnation, you should also count it. Whether Cheng Dieyi or Naojiang Shingang, no matter who sets the standard, he is confident that he can achieve it.
Chen Xingze cooked the noodles and brought them to the table outside.
He watched Mi Sheng eat and said with a smile, "Eat more, you must live a hundred years, I will live to ninety."
The road ahead is still long and full of thorns, so keep the past in your heart, make a pot of good wine, pour one when you are tired, rest when you are drunk, wake up and pat the dust and go your own way.
Mi Sheng lowered his head, as if tears were falling into the soup.
The lights in all the houses outside the window were extinguished. After dinner, Chen Xingze washed the dishes and fell asleep with Mi Sheng in his arms.
In the dream, there is snow drifting.
-End of the full text-
The author has something to say: A short article, commemorating a past event, I hope everyone can realize their wishes and have a happy ending.