Tang Zhi spent about an hour looking for a plastic toy in the 40-square-meter room at 12:15 p.m. the day after his mother was released from prison.
Tang Zhi was not in a good mood when he received the toy as a gift. He had a high fever because of his excessive indulgence. His mother was in the hospital, he forgot to bring money, and his mobile phone was out of battery. He had a terrible day.
I didn’t feel like it after receiving it because it was just an ordinary plastic penguin.
He didn't like the way Xu Sheng coaxed him casually, so he deliberately left it in the car and deliberately didn't take it away. He deliberately left the penguin on the coffee table in the room to make it look like he didn't care.
Now Tang Zhi just wanted to find it and take it away, but the penguin was gone.
Moreover, Xu Sheng is back, so it is inconvenient for him to continue looking.
Tang Zhi sat on the ground and looked at Xu Sheng.
He knew he must look strange and ugly. However, Tang Zhi didn't mind very much, he wanted his penguin more.
"How did you..." Xu Sheng's expression softened a little and asked Tang Zhi, "Sit down."
Xu Sheng's voice was as soft as the bubbles blown by children in the spring square. Tang Zhi felt that he only needed to close his eyes and open them again, and Xu Sheng would disappear with the penguins.
"I thought you would come in the afternoon, so I went out in the morning." Xu Sheng opened the door a little further and walked into the room.
He walked up to Tang Zhi, looked down at Tang Zhi, then half-knelt down and looked at Tang Zhi's level.
After looking at Tang Zhi for a while, Xu Sheng raised his hand. Tang Zhi felt that Xu Sheng wanted to touch his cheek, but after Xu Sheng's hand paused in the air, he quickly wiped Tang Zhi's forehead with his thumb and said to Tang Zhi, "It's stained with dust."
Then he withdrew his hand even more quickly.
Tang Zhi looked at Xu Sheng and failed to control himself well. He also raised his hand and touched the place where Xu Sheng had touched.
Xu Sheng was stunned for a moment, his lips moved slightly, and then asked Tang Zhi: "Why are you sitting on the ground?"
He looked away and saw the drawer that Tang Zhi had pulled out. He paused for a moment and asked, "What are you doing? Looking for something?"
Tang Zhi lowered his head and looked at the TV remote control and manual that he had dumped on the ground. He said "no" and put them back in the drawer.
When he wanted to lift the drawer and put it back into the cabinet, Xu Sheng stopped him: "Just leave it."
"You go wash your hands first," Xu Sheng said. "The chef has prepared the meal and will tidy up after eating."
Tang Zhi obediently washed his hands and went downstairs with Xu Sheng.
He didn't tell Xi Manxiang that he was going home for dinner. He originally planned to go back to the city to have something to eat, but he couldn't say a word to reject Xu Sheng, so he sat at the dining table and ate in silence.
"Tang Zhi."
Hearing Xu Sheng's voice, Tang Zhi raised his head and looked at Xu Sheng.
When making eye contact with Xu Sheng, Tang Zhi clearly knew that he was showing obvious flinch.
Because he would indeed be moved over and over again because of Xu Sheng's handsomeness and the wrong cherished emotion Xu Sheng's eyes brought to him.
Tang Zhi was tired of deceiving himself.
He put the tip of his chopsticks against the bone plate and asked Xu Sheng, "What's the matter?"
"Were you looking for something just now? What were you looking for?" Xu Sheng asked him casually.
Tang Zhi said "nothing".
In fact, Tang Zhi wanted to find the penguin and almost wanted to go upstairs immediately. He looked at Xu Sheng, feeling extremely ashamed of his own uncontrollable heartache and his desire for the little penguin.
Tang Zhi thought he might as well stop looking.
To Xu Sheng, it was just a deceptive gadget, something that Xu Sheng might have completely forgotten in the early morning of the second or third day after going to the aquarium.
It's not precious.
Tang Zhi thought, it's better to stop talking and forget about looking for him.
Tang Zhi put down his chopsticks, but Xu Sheng did not persuade him. He looked up at the maid standing aside, and the maid went to bring over the cut fruit plate.
Xu Sheng had told him in the morning that the fruit plate was filled with Tang Zhi's favorite fruits. But for some reason, Tang Zhi still looked uninterested.
Xu Sheng became suspicious and had a very negative suspicion in his mind, that it might be the desire to leave here that made Tang Zhi feel full so quickly.
Xu Sheng was still thinking about what Tang Zhi was looking for. He felt that it was not the penguin he sent to Tang Zhi.
The penguin was taken away by Xu Sheng a few days ago. He didn't feel guilty at all when he took it, but now he feels a little guilty. But Xu Sheng immediately comforted himself: Tang Zhi must have forgotten that he was definitely not looking for the penguin, and became self-suggestive again. Be confident and have a clear conscience.
Tang Zhi finally took a bite of the pear, his cheeks twitching slightly as he ate the pear.
Xu Sheng wanted to keep this moment, and he did so. He took out his cell phone and pretended to read the text message, but actually took a photo of Tang Zhi eating a pear.
After eating the pears, Tang Zhi suddenly looked up at Xu Sheng. Xu Sheng calmly ended the shooting, put down his phone, and smiled at Tang Zhi.
"Mr. Xu," Tang Zhi said, "I've finished eating. My things have been sorted. Can the driver take me down the mountain?"
Xu Sheng looked at Tang Zhi and said to him, "I'll take you back."
Tang Zhi did not refuse, Xu Sheng asked someone to take the boxes that Tang Zhi had packed to his trunk, and watched as Tang Zhi got into his car.
It was an ordinary afternoon in Portside, and the weather was as bad as most days.
The sun was hidden in the heavy clouds, only illuminating a patch of light white in the gray sky.
Tang Zhi sat next to Xu Sheng and watched quietly as he started the engine, changed gears, and drove out of the garage.
When passing by the house where Xu Hefu and other Xu family members lived, Tang Zhi suddenly asked Xu Sheng: "Is it easy to learn to drive?"
Xu Sheng looked at him, but before he could answer, Tang Zhi said again, "I'm thinking about when to study."
"It's easier to take my mother out," he said thoughtfully, "I feel like she's a little afraid of people."
"It's not difficult." Xu Sheng told him.
The iron door not far away slowly opened, and Xu Sheng's peripheral vision felt the corners of Tang Zhi's lips curve, and Xu Sheng's heart was easily touched.
"Really?" Tang Zhi said briskly.
"Yes," Xu Sheng confirmed, and then asked Tang Zhi, "What color do you like."
Tang Zhi paused, turned his head and glanced at Xu Sheng, understood what Xu Sheng meant, and rejected Xu Sheng mercilessly: "No need."
"It's still early to learn," Tang Zhi said, "I want to wait until my mother and I's lives are more stable before we learn."
Xu Sheng couldn't help but ask him: "How are we going to stabilize and take her to move to Xicheng?"
They drove onto the road into the city, and there were more cars.
Perhaps because it was the afternoon and all the cars were driving leisurely, Xu Sheng carefully slowed down the speed.
"Take her on a trip first to see if she likes it," Tang Zhi said to Xu Sheng.
Then his voice suddenly became lower, and he told Xu Sheng with an unconfident and uneasy shyness: "I want to go to school again. There is a good university in Xicheng."
Xu Sheng looked at the trees, lampposts, and street signs that were flying backwards in front of him, and erased the short, unpredictable love and pain that was constantly occurring in his brain.
"Okay," he said to Tang Zhi, chatting with him calmly, "Are you going to graduate school?"
"College. I haven't finished studying, so how can I be a graduate student?" Tang Zhi said softly and slowly, "I still don't need the degree you got me. I asked my previous teacher, and he told me that I might be able to transfer A few credits passed, but it was not very easy to operate... "
He spoke intermittently, and finally concluded: "So I am ready to learn everything again, although I will be a little older than most people."
"No." Xu Sheng said immediately.
Tang Zhi glanced at him again and said nothing. Xu Sheng paused and asked Tang Zhi: "Have you wanted to learn anything?"
Tang Zhi said softly: "It's still the law."
"Um."
Just as he stopped at the red light, Xu Sheng stepped on the brakes, turned his face sideways, and smiled at Tang Zhi: "Lawyer Tang."
Tang Zhi was stunned for a moment, then quickly pursed his lips and rolled his eyes.
When he smiles, it makes people think that they are in love and Tang Zhi is shy, but now Xu Sheng knows that Tang Zhi is just embarrassed.
"My mother must like it there," Tang Zhi obviously began to change the subject, "I want to take her there next month."
"Okay, Lawyer Tang." Xu Sheng said again deliberately.
Tang Zhi laughed again.
"You're not allowed to say that." Tang Zhi said with a smile.
Tang Zhi leaned on the handrail box and turned sideways to look at Xu Sheng. His right hand was resting on his left forearm, his fingers white and slender.
The red light started counting down and was about to turn green. Xu Sheng couldn't restrain his urge to touch Tang Zhi. He pretended to pinch Tang Zhi's right hand naturally, lowered his head to check the healing of the wound, and touched the healing bump with his thumb. The scars that had appeared were quickly let go before Tang Zhi could shrink his hand.
"It's almost healed." Tang Zhi said slowly.
Xu Sheng glanced at him one last time before driving. Tang Zhi touched the place where Xu Sheng had touched with his left hand. He opened his eyes wide and looked at Xu Sheng without blinking.
When Tang Zhi is not smiling, his eyes are very big.
He has a face that perhaps too many people would dream about, innocent, seductive, evocative, and one that one wants to possess by any means necessary; it has been hurt for a long time.
Like a mermaid who has lost her voice but still refuses to stab the sleeping prince to death.
Xu Sheng hoped that no one would get close to Tang Zhi, and that Tang Zhi would never show anyone the smile he showed to him.
Don't act coquettishly with others, don't cry in front of others, and don't use moist kisses and soft body as a comfort agent when others are in pain.
He wanted Tang Zhi to be by his side forever.
When he was about to arrive at Tang Zhi's house, Xu Sheng finally stopped hesitating and asked, "Tang Zhi, I will go to MI state often in the future. Can I ask you out?"
"It's just a meal." In order to dispel Tang Zhi's doubts and prevent rejection, Xu Sheng explained, "Nothing else."
"It won't be very frequent." Xu Sheng also added.
He stopped downstairs at the house Tang Zhi rented, waiting for Tang Zhi's answer. For a while, Xu Sheng felt that Tang Zhi was ready to agree to him, but in the end he changed his mind. So Xu Sheng's simple expectations also failed.
Tang Zhi said "Let's talk" and "Goodbye", and then they got out of the car. Xu Sheng helped Tang Zhi take down the box, and Tang Zhi left.
Entering the corridor, Tang Zhi did not dare to go upstairs.
He stopped himself from thinking about anything related to Xu Sheng. He stood in the darkest corner under the stairs, a diagonal corner that smelled of moisture and sea tide, with his back against the tiles of the wall.
Tang Zhi didn't even want to smoke, and planned to take painkillers after going upstairs.
His head and throat were so painful that they were about to burst. The intense, undesirable pain climbed from the bottom of the heart to the brain, releasing corrosive venom along the way. The pain hurt Tang Zhi and dissolved the pain Tang Zhi had to face. The armor of protection from the outside world.
He has lost the shell he used to protect himself, and will never have it again.
Tang Zhi covered his eyes with his palms.
"Xu Sheng," he thought, "Xu Sheng."
Xu Sheng. Xu Sheng.