She had been calm at first, but the arrival of her family caused her mood to become turbulent again.
Master Jinghui was right. She couldn't sleep all night because of resentment and hatred. If some problems were not solved, she was afraid that those messy emotions would drive her crazy.
But how can we sort out such a thing
Can that wounded heart and that gloomy world ever return to normal
She returned to her room with a heart full of grievances and deep sorrow, only to find that there was a man in the room where she lived.
Lotus Temple is not very popular, so there are not many nuns left here. Including Fenghuang, there are only seven people in total, and each person can have a separate room. If you want, you can have two or even three rooms----
The man turned his back to Fenghuang, knelt on the Pu Tuan where she recited scriptures and prayed every day, and bowed to the statue of Guanyin Bodhisattva in the room.
His body was straight, and his back looked particularly slender and strong.
With his slim waist and monkey-like back and long hair draped over his shoulders, even if you can't see his face, one can still feel that he is a handsome and passionate man.
He was mumbling something in a rapid but unclear voice, and it was difficult to make out what he was saying.
He was so focused and attentive that he didn't even seem to notice that there was a woman watching behind him.
When Fenghuang saw the man's back, his body stiffened and his face looked ashen.
Her body wanted to retreat, but in the end she just stood there without moving.
"Aren't you afraid that I'll kill you?" the man asked, his voice gentle and hoarse.
He was just praying to Guanyin Bodhisattva, and in the blink of an eye he asked such a cruel question.
He is like a gentleman robber and also like an elegant pervert.
"No."
The moment she heard the man's voice, Phoenix suddenly became quiet.
She looked at the man and said, "If you kill me, all my karma will disappear at once. My body will be freed and my soul will reach the other shore. Although this solution is not perfect, maybe, then I can really sleep well."
"Reach the other shore?" The man's voice was calm, but Phoenix could still hear a hint of sarcasm. "There is no so-called paradise in this world? Is there one in that world? If all the great monks and sages were as pure and unsullied as they claim, then why would they enjoy the incense and golden statues of believers? That world is even more filthy than the human world, right?"
"You have hatred for this world," Phoenix said.
"How about you?" The man stood up, turned around and looked at Fenghuang in patched clothes, and said, "Are you doing well?"
"Not good." Phoenix shook his head. "I have hatred towards myself."
"Well, I can understand your feelings at this moment." The man grinned, but he didn't make any sound when he laughed. It was shallow and fleeting. "You have two hatreds and two guilts. You hate your family, hate them for ruining your life. You hate yourself, hate yourself for not having the courage to change your fate. You feel guilty about Fang Yan, you loved him deeply, since you were very young - but you ended up hurting him. You also feel guilty about me, you don't like me, but you always use me. I couldn't bear to kill you, but they killed me for this reason -"
Fenghuang's face turned pale. This man really understood him much more deeply than she thought.
One of her hands was still holding onto the door frame, and the hand holding the door frame was squeezing against the fragile door panel, making a crackling sound.
"I'm sorry to Fang Yan, and I'm sorry to you too." Fenghuang said. "I don't know who I'm more sorry to, you or Fang Yan. The more I can't figure this out, the more I hate my family and myself. Since that incident, I haven't been able to sleep well. I'm filled with remorse and hatred, like a poisonous snake gnawing at my heart."
The man sighed softly and said, "Do you know what I was doing kneeling in front of Guanyin Bodhisattva just now?"
Phoenix shook his head and said, "I don't know. I heard you say a long time ago that you don't respect gods and Buddhas, and you don't believe in ghosts----"
"Yes. I don't respect gods and Buddhas, and I don't believe in ghosts. But maybe they really exist in this world?" The man said softly. He looked at Fenghuang's eyes with pity and said, "I can understand that the An family wants to take you back. Your uncles and aunts are all very face-conscious people. How could they allow their women to become nuns? I also heard the conversation between you and them, and I also heard the conversation between you and the old nun. I know you haven't had a good sleep for a long time, and you look very tired. I knelt in front of the Buddha and recited the "Medicine Master Lapis Lazuli Light Tathagata Initiation Mantra" for you, hoping that the Bodhisattva can bless you with no illness and disaster, and have a sweet sleep."
Phoenix's eyes were moist, and he said, "Why bother?"
The man grinned and said, "If it were in a novel or a movie, someone like me would definitely be the number one bad guy in the world - but bad guys also have feelings. Bad guys can also fall in love with a woman, starting from the first time they see her, day after day, year after year. Even if they know that she likes another man, even if they know that she is just playing around - they will still be happy with it."
"Why did you come out?" Phoenix said in a choked voice. "Everyone thought you were dead - I thought you were dead too -"
"I thought I was dead, too." The man squinted his eyes and laughed, saying, "But I came back to life. When I opened my eyes, I was shocked myself-----"
"Bai Xiu, go away. Go far away and don't come back." Fenghuang pulled the man's arm, wanting to drive her out to a place where no one could find her.
"I will go." Bai Xiu looked at Fenghuang and said, "I am here to take you with me."
Phoenix shook his head and said, "I'm not leaving. I'm not going anywhere. I'll just live here, with mountains, water, and Buddhist scriptures-----"
"You have a negative attitude towards life." The man said. "You should have a more colorful life. I can give you such a life. Fang Yan doesn't have such courage."
"Bai Xiu----"
The man stretched out his body and cut Phoenix's neck with a knife.
Phoenix was already weak, and fainted immediately after being hit.
The man picked up Fenghuang's falling body, looked at her delicate and flawless face, and said, "Look, you are also beautiful like this-----"
After saying that, he pushed the door open while holding Phoenix and wanted to leave.
"Put it down." A clear male voice came.
The sound was extremely abrupt, yet so clear, as if someone was shouting in your ear.
The man paused and looked at the tall man standing at the corner of the lotus pond in front of the yard.
The man was sitting on a big rock, holding a small flower in his mouth, with a lazy posture, as if he had just woken up.
"Bai Li Lu-----" the man said in a deep voice. His voice was still calm. Bai Li Lu's miraculous appearance did not make him feel ridiculous. He had died once, so what else could make him feel new
"Let it go. Buddha said to let it go." Baili Lu was still sitting on the big rock. He took the small flower from his mouth and played with it in his hand.
"Are you going to stop me?" Bai Xiu asked, staring at Baili Lu with a stern look.
"Bai Xiu, you're not dead yet, tut tut-----" Baili Lu made a sound of regret because Bai Xiu was still alive. "You said you died well, why did you come back to life? Do you know that you are not following the code of conduct? Life and death are very serious matters. You live and die at the same time. Isn't this deceiving people's feelings? After knowing that you were dead, we in Yanziwu were happy for who knows how long. Now you are alive again, aren't we happy for nothing?"
"Yanziwu-----" Bai Xiu smiled coldly and said, "One day, I will make those arrogant people pay the price."
"That's a bit too much. How can you scold yourself like that?" Baili Lu laughed and said, "Everyone in Yanziwu knows that before you exposed your beastly nature, you were the most arrogant and conceited person in Yanziwu. Of course, we never regarded you as a member of Yanziwu. You are just a little bastard who lingers in Yanziwu."
Bai Xiu's eyes flashed with murderous intent. He stared at Baili Lu and asked, "Did Fang Yan ask you to come?"
"What do you think?" Baili Lu said unhappily. "I have no interest in the girl in your arms. I just happened to go back to do something, drank a few bowls of wine from him, and then he threw me into this dilapidated temple in the mountains to wait for my turn. I know you are upset to see me, but can you understand my feelings?"
Bai Xiu was shocked, but his face remained calm as he asked, "Does Fang Yan know that I'm still alive?"
"How could he know you were still alive? He told me with certainty that he stabbed you to death with a sword. For this, he even carried a large bucket of wine to his father's grave and got drunk -"
"So-----"
"You feel strange? I feel strange too. He has already killed you, so why did he ask me to come and protect this little girl?" Baili Lu shook his big head and said, "Although I don't want to admit it, Fang Yan is indeed the smartest guy among our group. Most of the time, I don't know what he is thinking. He asked me to come, so I came."
Baili Lu looked at the phoenix in Bai Xiu's arms and said, "Put her down. You can leave or stay - I don't care."
"You're looking for death." Bai Xiu snorted coldly, his words full of murderous intent. (To be continued)