She lay on the mat with sweat all over her face. Although she felt uncomfortable, she dared not look up. She could only wait there obediently, waiting for forgiveness. Mother said "hmm", and seemed to have calmed down first. Just as she was about to speak, she heard someone outside loudly announcing: "Madam... Madam! Report... Madam! The brother who was guarding the door next door just now, Lord Fengyunhou is back!"
"Oh, why did you come to inform me at this time?" My mother's voice was majestic and solemn. I felt like a thousand-pound stone was thrown out of the house, swaying and going away from the inside out. I even wanted to shout so that everyone could get out of the way.
“Someone just went to the bathroom and asked the guy next door to help take a look. As soon as he came back, he knew… he had realized his mistake.” The voice of the person outside gradually faded away until it was silent at last, as if someone was really hit, but I felt that the injury was not too serious.
“Is Jingzhou so short of people that the security guards can’t even send two people?” There was some helplessness in the mother’s voice, but she still calmed down and forgave the innocent man who seemed to have been hit: “I know... You can go down.”
"Thank you, Madam. I'll be going right away." The man who now had a sense of relief and hurriedly said goodbye and sincerely asked to continue to be loyal to his duties was our family's doorman. For such a serious mistake, since I once again tried to shirk responsibility and look for the victim everywhere, his niào must be responsible for it in the end. I planned to throw an axe into the pit to kill it later, provided that I was not scolded to death by my mother, but it seemed that I quickly forgot about it, and I didn't know where the axe in my house was. What's more serious is that I don't know how big our house is or what it looks like. I only know which room I slept in, how to get to the shortest place from the door, and where the windows and main door of this big house are, etc. I probably don't remember anything else.
"The door was not bolted, how did you get in?" As soon as I said this, it was finally my turn to be punished. This question seems difficult to answer directly, especially when the correct answer is required. There are only three "proper" options to explain it in a legitimate way or to lie: First, I entered the door by myself, and then turned around and closed the door myself, which also includes closing it with my hands, feet, buttocks, etc., but I won't mention it for now; second, someone opened the door for me, and after I came in, someone closed the door, maybe it was me or him, but I forgot, or it was not important and my mother let it go; third, I came in from another door, no matter how I walked in, jumped in, or crawled in. But it was obvious that each of these three arguments was less tenable than the other. First, the door was bolted, and I could not get in unless I had clothing as thin as a piece of cloth. In comparison, I thought it would be easier for me to break in without making any noise. Second, there were only my mother and Kong Ming in the room. Once we were confronted, I would have nowhere to hide. As for the others, I didn't even know where they were. Third, the most serious thing was that I had no idea how many doors there were in this big house, and in which directions these doors were facing, let alone which door might be open.
"I... climbed in through the window." Finally, I decided to appear as a gentleman. At least in my opinion, I looked quite honest and like a good kid, especially when I couldn't lie.
"Oh." A helpless tone sounded, and I knew that this lesson was not easy.
Actually, I should have thought of this. Since she is Sister Qi's mother, it is natural to think of this moral story. Basically, it started from the beginning of the chaos, when Pangu created the world, or when the Three Sovereigns and Five Emperors created the world. The general content of the story is that a long time ago or recently, there was such a child. He could be very tall, very smart, and even look like me, and have the same name as me. In short, he was a very good child at the beginning, but he always went home through the window, or went home through the chimney, or crawled back through the dog hole, so... Then later, he broke his legs, or his legs were lame, or he had a cut on his head and could only tilt his neck and drool, and he didn't know anything, and he couldn't remember who he was. The last one was the most detailed, even the cut on the head, the size of the cut, the shape and the condition inside, and the tragic fate of the child in the end: he died like this. Naturally, I didn't dare to say anything, I just yawned a few times at the mat in front of me and dripped a few drops of sweat.
However, although the sweat was dripping from my forehead, since I was lying down and didn't dare to raise my eyes, other people could see it as tears. So, I think it was probably these tears that made my mother forgive me when the child just experienced a tragic experience, that is, when my sweat started to drip. I even remember that when she just talked about the child's death, she suddenly choked up and cried without saying a word!
This time I was really scared, and I quickly moved forward, but I didn't dare to speak loudly, so I could only think for a while and whisper to comfort her. "Mother, I know I was wrong, please forgive me."
But I didn't expect that as soon as I got close to her, she hugged my head and held me in her arms and cried even louder.
I cried too. I had never stayed in my mother's arms before. Although the story was rather boring, I could still feel my mother's intentions. In the end, it seemed that my mother was really too devoted to it. It was indeed too devoted, beyond my expectations.
I also know why Kong Ming was crying. I clearly heard the child crying. He might have missed his mother. But his voice suddenly became dull, as if he was muffled. I really want to know what the child looks like, but my head is still blocked by the door. I can't speak, and I can't see what's going on outside.
Suddenly, my mother smiled again, looking at me somewhat embarrassedly. She found that I was crying hard too, and hurriedly wiped my tears with her sleeves, apologizing to me: "My son Zirui, I was thinking about something sad, but I scared you. Uh, you haven't seen Pei'er since you came back, oh, I am confused as an old woman."
"Mother is so young and beautiful, how can she be called an old woman?" Although my eyes were drooping, I was able to smile, and these words also made my mother smile.
"That mouth is so sweet, go and see... Um, Kong Ming, why are you lying here... Oh, why are you still crying." My mother was also still crying, but halfway through, she realized something was wrong and immediately understood what was going on. She hurried over to hug Kong Ming and comforted him. At the end, she threw me a sentence, "Go to the back and rest early. Tell Pei'er not to come to pay her respects to me today."
But I couldn't bring this message to Pearl because she came first.
A sedan chair—carried by Chen Wu and Song Qian—carried her in. She was still dressed the same way as when I left, but now she was frowning and supporting herself with her hands, trying to keep her balance, but she was just sitting softly on her legs. She was trying her best to remain normal, but she met me in such an abnormal way, which made me understand that her injuries were really serious. She looked at me, and seemed a little excited. Although her lips only moved, the light rolling in her eyes reflected all the lights in the house onto me. However, she still greeted her mother very respectfully, and then asked knowingly: "Zi Rui is back?" But my mother quickly drove us away, and only let me carry Guo Pei away, leaving the two people who also wanted to talk to me, her big brother.
"This summer in Xiangyang is really hot." I started, not knowing what to say.
"Yes, have you married Yinling?" she said with a smile.
"Yeah, have you been feeling better lately?" I also smiled.
"Yes, I'm much better." She still smiled.
I don't like to be evasive like this, it's not like me, so I decided that no matter how she changes the subject, I will ask her what is going on.
"Are you convinced by your father?" But she spoke first again.
"Yeah. He snores really loudly." I had no choice but to be polite again.
She said nothing. Just when I decided to take the initiative again, she took the initiative and said, "Am I still too selfish?"
"No, how could it be?"
"Of course not?" She didn't seem to be talking to me. She looked at the ground and then fell silent. I couldn't say anything, so I could only hold her hands tighter behind her, as if to comfort her.
"How are you this month (Yue)...?"
"That girl is fine, but Nalan made her too fat. I wonder what will happen to her in the future?"
"Well, that's good!" Even though I knew she did it on purpose, I still didn't say anything.
That night, I couldn't sleep. I had so much to say that I barely said a word. How could I sleep? The night sky was clear, and the bright moon was hanging high outside the window, printing a brilliant starry sky on the tent, flowing in front of my eyes with the wind. The cool breeze at night could indeed blow away some of the irritability in my heart, making me feel much more comfortable. It should have been a timeless and beautiful scroll that I could enjoy slowly and without worries. Unfortunately, it seemed that something was missing from the painting, and even the beautiful picture could not be appreciated more.
I didn't want to look anymore, so I turned over gently, and saw a pair of clear eyes that seemed to melt everything, flashing in the moonlight, which completely made me lose my direction. All my thoughts were gone, and my body followed the power from nowhere and went up, hugging her tightly.
I cried again!
This year, Xiangyang is much hotter than usual. Although there are no cocks outside the window, I was still awakened by the heat when the sky was bright. Yiren was still sleeping soundly, and I had no intention of moving. I just watched her slowly beside me, probably admiring her.
My wife's complexion is not very good. In the morning, her face is a little dry and a little sallow. I know that she eats less. Most people who eat less have this complexion, such as Fang Han and Jiang Yong. People like me who eat a lot always have a good complexion. Her legs are very beautiful, with smooth and rosy skin, as tender as a peach that can be squeezed to produce water. I didn't expect that there is such a big difference between her face and her legs. But now it is this pair of beautiful legs that are in trouble, which makes me sigh. Her feet are terrible. The reason I use this word to describe it is because I really can't imagine that such a pair of delicate treasures can support Guo Pei's entire body to walk on the ground. I will naturally let my feet check, which is about half of mine. I can only sigh and admire the cleverness of God. But now, this pair of feet is temporarily resting, and I don't know when they will be again... I warned myself not to be too sad in my heart. After all, she told me that the master's wife has come back to see her and she can be well.
"It will be fine!" Although there are only two words, but when they come out of the master's wife's mouth, they have weight. Although I don't know the exact condition, I feel relieved. I even feel that there is no need to ask the cause of the disease that I wanted to ask at that time. I am even afraid to ask, for fear of asking about her sad memories. I repeated these words "It will be fine!" a few times, but I felt that I could not trust them. The words were still the same, but the person who said them was different. I couldn't help but sigh. The words I taught Chen Wu a lesson a few months ago came back to my ears this time: "You have to be capable!"
These words sound simple, but it is really not easy to do. I had promised her to practice martial arts diligently every day, but I didn't stick to it for a few days and became lazy. That morning, I felt deeply ashamed, so I secretly practiced on the couch, and I persisted for a long time afterwards.
The method was relatively simple. I didn't want to make any noise, so I used various methods to lift myself up. However, I didn't consider using any other special organs. I only used my hands and, at first, my feet. I found that using both hands and feet was too simple, so I switched to using only my hands. I first used both hands to lift myself up. This made me understand the importance and fun of balance. I had to put my hands under my waist and then push upwards to keep myself from tilting at both ends and being able to hold myself up. This really took a lot more effort than the original support. Sometimes I had to spread my legs to prevent myself from leaning to the left or right, and to try not to fall to either side. Then I tried various more difficult methods until I could no longer lift myself off the couch.
Guo Pei slept much better than my wife. One of the reasons for this was that she lay beside me for a long time, letting me toss and turn without any sign of waking up, as if I hadn't made any sound.
Of course this is impossible. With my rough hands and feet, I am extremely confident that I don't have this ability, so I must know that only my wife can sleep. Recently, I like to make inferences more and more, but this time the inference is very boring and there is no difficulty.
But I was still wrong. Just when I was sweating and exhausted, lying on the couch, gasping for breath, she suddenly "woke up": "Zi Rui, go take a shower?"
I knew this person was pretending to sleep, at least for a while, it was just a matter of time. But I could only pretend not to know and asked with concern: "Oh, did I wake you up? I'm sorry, ma'am."
"It's okay. This summer is too hot. I can't sleep as soon as the sun rises."
"Yes. Today I have to go and pay my respects to Master, Brother Chen and the others."
"That's natural. That's what should be done." She said the last sentence very slowly, but that was all she said.
I may never be able to establish a kind of confidant relationship with her like I have with Yinling. Of course, sometimes it seems that Yinling and I have long been in touch with each other and there is nothing to hide. Maybe we are both too polite, so we can never express our thoughts exactly, but just greet each other, greet, and greet. I carried her on my back and went to see Yiyue. The girl has indeed gained weight. We both smiled and looked at this next generation.
So, we lived like an ordinary but loving couple, except that the wife couldn't stand up and the husband couldn't smile.
And at least that seems to be the case today.
The master was the first one to rush to my house that day. It was early in the morning, and I had just finished washing up. Before I could apologize for not going to see him first, he grabbed me and looked at me carefully for a while. Finally, he said, "It seems that Yinling has been married."
He didn't talk to me much, and in the end I was the only one who learned bad things. I don't know when and where I learned so many annoying etiquettes.
Later, Wang Wei was brought to my house by Beihai. He left at night. As soon as he saw me, he was worried. I asked him why he was worried. He was here, and he only trusted me. I couldn't help but wonder if I looked too stupid and therefore easy to bully.
The weather that day was a little strange to me. Although the sun was high in the sky, everyone was wearing thin clothes, and the cicadas were chirping loudly, I felt a little cold even though it was still hot in the morning. Although there were drops of water on my forehead, I felt a little chilly. I didn't know where it came from.
"Zi Rui!" A familiar voice suddenly sounded: "You're back?"
"Zi Yu?" To him, it was also a familiar voice: "You are back! Why do I feel a chill on my back? So you are back."
"Haha, am I that scary?"
Ziyu was originally serving in Luoyang. At this time, the whole country was in chaos and the situation in the court was at its most critical moment. It was by no means normal for him to return to Xiangyang at this time. I was sure that the chill in my heart at that time must be a sign of this.
But with Wang Wei following behind me, I really couldn't explain it to him in detail. The place was right in front of the prefecture government office, so we went to talk to Brother Chen.
But I didn't expect him to object: "No, I just got scolded." He smiled bitterly and shook his head. The original confidence on his handsome face disappeared, and there was a kind of hesitation and confusion. His eyes were lifeless. He just lowered his head to look at the scene under his boots, looked at me, and then looked down. He casually said: "You go see Brother Chen first, I will talk to you later, I have something to tell you."
I don't understand what happened. Brother Chen has always been kind, but Jiang Wei was scolded by him this time. This must be a big deal. I didn't expect that Wang Wei would add to my thoughts before I could make up my mind: "Does this Lord Chen have a bad temper?" I was a little nervous. After all, Wang Wei is just a young man in his twenties. Even if he has seen more battles than us, it's not much more. All the old men in the world are talking nonsense in Luoyang at this moment, but the only exception is this one in the government office. It doesn't seem good to call Brother Chen an old man, but the difference of more than ten years between him and us already makes us feel that it is a long time ago, not to mention the gap in other aspects. But I know about Brother Chen. He once told me his story, a story of sadness and hatred when he was the general of the Qiang Guard. In my imagination, Brother Chen should be very kind, fair and generous now. If he actually scolded Brother Ziyu, and Brother Ziyu's appearance really made me feel very strange and wrong, I would think that Brother Ziyu must be to blame.
I said goodbye to Brother Ziyu and walked into the government office. All the guards said nothing but let me in. I brought Wang Wei in like this.
Brother Chen looked at me with a knowing smile, which made me feel that Brother Ziyu must have made some mistake. When we met, Brother Chen spoke first: "Zirui, you're back! How is the happiness of Qiren?"
"Brother, please make fun of me, but that's how life is." I think what I said was quite light-hearted, and I couldn't find any good words to describe it.
"Both of my brothers and sisters are very nice people, don't let them down. But I believe you won't do that, so don't hurt yourself." Brother Chen's words were very interesting. It was as if he already knew what was in my mind.
After the small talk, it was time to get down to business. Brother Chen was very polite to Wang Wei. After being affirmed by the old man, Wang Wei didn't know where to go. Brother Chen gave him a job and he went there happily. However, Brother Chen was careful and asked an old soldier to follow him, so that he wouldn't even know how to get around Xiangyang.
As soon as this matter was over, I asked about Ziyu's matter, but I didn't expect that Brother Chen was also thinking about this matter and wanted my help. Only then did I know the origin of Ziyu's matter.
"I'm trapped by love!" Finally, the old man expressed his dissatisfaction and asked me to think of a solution, which should be my first priority when I come back. And, if it succeeds, I will be the first to achieve this great feat.
I think differently from him. I don't mean that I can't take the first credit for the success. I mean that I don't believe I can complete this important task at all. Because I understand Brother Ziyu's temper.
This matter has to start with Uncle Jiang. When I was ready to summarize, I had to assume that Uncle Jiang was a somewhat contradictory person as a premise, so that I could set a framework for Brother Ziyu. At the beginning, he seemed to always want to protect Brother Ziyu, as if he was so tender that he would break if anyone touched him. Before I was eight years old, I had never seen him. With my experience of gradually becoming a bully who was rampant in Xiangyang since I was six years old, when I first saw him, I even thought he had just moved to Xiangyang. Later, he spared no effort to let Brother Ziyu learn this and that, and let his son do whatever we wanted. After the teacher became the governor of the state, he encouraged him to make achievements. When I fought in Hanzhong, Uncle Jiang personally stopped me on the road and asked me to take Ziyu with me, but also asked me to take care of him so that nothing would happen to him. I didn't pay attention at the time, but when I think about it today, it's really strange. I can even feel that he seems to value Ziyu very much, more than anything else. And the inexplicable and unknown story between him and his father, so that I still can't understand it at all. But under such contradictory and incomprehensible care, Brother Ziyu was very stubborn and insisted on doing it without any hesitation. This is similar to my temper, but it is far different from Uncle Jiang's. Uncle Jiang was probably like this when he was young. From Uncle Jiang's martial arts, we can imagine how heroic General Jiang, who was a general under my father's command, was. I can still remember that when I was a teenager, Uncle Jiang casually lifted me up on the other end of the bāng. It's just that I got rheumatism in the past few years and didn't move much, so my health was poor. After thinking about it, it seems that the problem is still the matter of Uncle Jiang leaving my father.
I didn't make an appointment with Jiang Wei, but I knew where he would be. Zisheng and Zishe were not here, so Ziyu was my best friend and brother here. I even felt that he and I were more like brothers, while those two were my best friends. So I would definitely know where my brother would be.
The school was still quiet, with only the chirping of cicadas.
"Holding your hands, I will grow old with you." When the man in the house heard me tying up the horse, he came out and asked, "How are you doing?"
"Do you want to hear good things or bad things?" I strolled in, sat down at my seat, looked at him, and tried to find a pleasant start.
"Listen first, there hasn't been any good news recently."
"The good news is that it's not that bad."
"Is it that simple? What about the bad ones?" Zi Yu had already started laughing.
"Not much better." I said seriously.
"It seems that you are doing well, better than me." He leaned on his desk with a tired look, while I lay on my desk, just like I often do in class. This place is still arranged as before. I know that this place is used as a school again. Kong Ming and his classmates have classes here, but it seems that there is a break today, maybe because of the hot summer. But it is just right, it can be used as a place for us brothers to reminisce about the past.
"You look like you're about to fall asleep again. You always fall asleep in class in the afternoon." He had a look of mischief on his face, mocking me.
"No?" I also smiled: "You look more like you want to sleep than I do now."
"I just got back and didn't sleep all the way. Of course I'm sleepy. Unlike you, women say ji ming and men say continue, haha!"
"Don't joke with me. My life is not as good as you think... Oh, you haven't gone home yet?"
"Not yet. I don't know how to talk to Dad."
"Do you know what you are doing? My brother Ziyu." Since it has been mentioned, I decided to start, but I didn't have much confidence at the beginning, and soon I was infected by him and even stood on his side. It was obvious that we were made for brothers. This was the only explanation I could give, or maybe I had a desire to support him in my heart.
"As for me, ah, when I see the end, when I meet the end, my heart is at peace. When I see the end, when I meet the end, my heart is (note 1) ah!"
It seems that this matter is not easy to discuss, neither for me nor for him, otherwise he would not have expressed it in the words of the Book of Songs. Originally, I was quite bad at memorizing the Book of Songs. If my wife Pingguo had not threatened me with kneeling, I probably would not have learned these things that I felt were stupid. Many of them were repetitive and quite boring. It was only later that I realized the subtlety of them. Fortunately, I can talk to him today.
"Is there a woman like you, a woman pregnant with spring? Could it be that you have already relaxed and taken off?"
Ziyu suddenly got up, but he could only smile, shake his head and point at me, because I didn't even see him get up. As soon as he finished, he began to shake his hands to indicate that he was wrong and begged for mercy.
"Hey." He sat down with some effort, seeming very tired: "My dear, my dear, my heart is always with you. Even if I don't want you, how can I stop thinking of you?"
"Oh, you seem like a graceful lady, a gentleman's enemy. We brothers thought you were a solemn warrior, working day and night for the public."
"It's not that scary. In fact, in the officialdom, you all have to wait for God to come and go for one thing, and you spend your time in leisure. On the contrary, those really important things are all hanging on the beam, without any wings, passing by, lightly, and there is no way to deal with them in the end."
"You, what are those important things? Don't hide it. How can a son marry without an heir?"
"No, in a word, everyone seems to want to get some very practical benefits, such as land and official titles. That's all. A gentleman doesn't eat plain food!"
"Of course, it's you. Who is your partner?"
"To be honest, I'm not afraid of you laughing at me. I only know that she is a princess from a royal family. Because every time we met, it was in the palace. She didn't want to let me know, for fear that I would know and not want to be with her. It would be useless, and I couldn't force her. In fact, how could I be such a spineless person? Later, I asked around in the palace. Most of the people there were Liu family dukes who were transferred from the local areas by the former relatives and eunuchs. They used to have some power. Now the emperor will not let them come down to continue to be powerful, so naturally they will not have a very good life there."
"Now that you've told me, I remember that you might be the unfortunate woman who didn't see Zi Du but met Kuang Qie last time when she was walking around the beam?" I asked in a serious tone.
"Am I that bad?" He laughed.
"Does she know who you are?"
"Of course I know."
"Then you are at a loss, you are with me day and night, and you have only one daughter, you miss her day and night, how can you be so sad?"
"You are not, I didn't think so... But I didn't expect that one day of not seeing each other would feel like three months. The love between men and women is so terrible than I thought." He sighed. He was really different from the usual Jiang Wei on this day.
"Listen brother, does she like you too?"
He nodded and smiled affirmatively.
"She and I, because of Wei Zi, I can't eat, and when I see her recently, she looks thinner."
"No wonder it's my brother who's been exchanging poems with me lately. Uncle, please help me and my daughter!"
"It's so disgusting." He glared at me, and I nodded in acceptance as a matter of course.
"Then what are you going to do?" I decided to get serious and try my best one last time, trying to fulfill my mission to show that I am worthy of Brother Chen.
“Don’t you think… that you are afraid of me and dare not?” He seemed to ask himself at last, or even asked it firmly. Then he smiled, leaned back in his chair, with a relaxed look on his face.
I didn't persuade him anymore. Ziyu and I grew up together, and I know my brother very well. He was gone, so no matter how I persuaded him, it would be useless. I didn't even waste any more words, and even issued an invitation, "If the matter is successful, then come. When you come back, I have guests, playing the harp and the flute!"
I didn't complete the task, I didn't even really make an effort. Because at that time I just felt that he was right, maybe I was wrong, but I saw the happiness of Zhang Kai and Liu Wen, they are still living happily in Xiangyang, why can't they be a pair of free and easy lovers, and maybe this is also a relief for the princess, even two places they can go in the end have been thought of: one is Mingzi, and the other is my father-in-law's house. In this case, why should I break up this couple, let the sī run more fiercely. I feel that my last thought is a bit strange, but I don't know why (note).
I turned around and saw Brother Chen. I didn't say anything and just shook my head. He was a little stunned and looked at me for a long time, then shook his head as well.
I put things aside and returned to my life. The first few days were very tiring. Since the weather was good, I couldn't be lazy. I got up early every day to practice martial arts, and I was quite good at it. Then, I went to every household, and I had to practice martial arts. I couldn't go home most of the time, so I had to eat breakfast and dinner. This time I came back to face my wife and meet my mother. I couldn't be careless in reflecting on my mistakes.
Time passed like this, and I only remember what I did during those days, but I don’t know what I did.
On the morning of the fourth day, Ziyu came to say goodbye to me. He, he might not come back then. I said, "You'd better come back. At least come to me. I have a way to hide you." He hid there, and I hid in the mountains, of course, it's just a matter of east or west. He thought about it and nodded. In the end, he hugged and patted my shoulders for a long time, feeling like he was going to die and say goodbye. I thought about it and didn't dare to do it. It was necessary to be so solemn to run away. I just said: "Come back, brother will definitely help you! Remember, brother said, come back if you have anything!"
The next few days were no different from the first few days, except that after being so busy, I gradually became free. It would be nice to have a peaceful life, but even famous officials and generals lived like idlers on the street.
But that day, I was at home talking with my wife in the living room, and suddenly Li Zhen ran in. That day, he was completely out of his usual calm and unrestrained self. He held the horse whip tightly in his hand, leaned against the door, his eyes were bloodshot, his hair was disheveled, and he pointed to the north at me:
"Ziyu is in prison, and the emperor wants to execute him! Teacher, you are the only one who can save him! Hurry, hurry, hurry..."
That day, it suddenly rained.
That month was the summer of the first year of Chuping, but it seemed that the world was beginning to become unstable again.
That year, I was still 18 years old, Jiang Wei was still 19 years old, Li Zhen was still 18 years old, and Guo Pei was still 23 years old.
Note 1: The words come from the Book of Songs, and the name is "Grassworm". These few sentences are relatively simple. The original meaning is to express a woman's longing for the man she likes. They are often quoted as a way of expressing longing. "Worried" comes from this poem. If you are interested, you can read the Feng section of the Book of Songs. The following paragraphs are all from the Book of Songs, and they seem to be all from the Feng section, with some slight modifications (actually I can't remember clearly, I read it in college, and I don't have time to study it carefully).
Note: This is from the poem "There is a dead deer in the wild (jun, the original word has become this word)" in the Book of Songs. This poem is controversial in history. The reason is probably because this poem has some liu bones, so Confucianists refuse to recognize it as belonging to the Book of Songs. So it is very likely that you will not find this poem in some versions of the Book of Songs. The original text should be: There is a dead deer in the wild, wrapped in white grass. There is a girl holding a chūn, and a good man yòu it. There are pine trees in the forest, and there is a dead deer in the wild. The white grass is tied up, and there is a girl like yù. Relax, take off! Don't feel my towel (shui, the fourth tone)! Don't let the mang (mang, the second tone) bark. The meaning of "soothe, take off" is to pay attention and be more disciplined. However, because the meaning of the word itself has become somewhat similar to that of modern times after the Qin and Han Dynasties (I think this is why those moralists must delete this poem), you can naturally follow your own ideas here. The author's note with a smile. The following poems in the Book of Songs will not be noted one by one, because the poems I chose are relatively simple in word meaning.
Note 3: If the poem looks familiar, you can read Gorky’s The Seagull (I think so, but I don’t remember clearly).