The whole hall fell silent, and everyone was looking at me, who was trembling slightly as I held half a piece of the newspaper in my hands. The newspaper slowly fell to the ground, and my eyes followed it to the ground, as if it was my heart, gradually falling straight into the abyss, getting colder and darker.
When I woke up, it was already late at night, and the room was already filled with a strong smell of medicine. There was also a disgusting taste in my mouth, and my whole body was groggy. I was just about to move a little when I suddenly heard my sister's voice. My sister was by my bed again. She seemed to be awakened by me. After getting up, she seemed to be afraid of waking me up, so she just tucked the corner of the quilt for me.
"Sister, go back to sleep, I'm fine."
"You're awake! Okay, I'll go back when you fall asleep."
When I woke up again, it was the next day at dawn. My sister still hadn't left. She fell asleep on the bed again. But this time, she didn't wake up when I got up. I'm afraid my sister hasn't slept well for more than a month. I felt sad. I gently picked up my sister, but she was like a sleeping cat in my arms, motionless. This is my dearest sister. Her shoulders have protected me from the wind and rain for seventeen years.
I put my sister on her own couch. Although it was only a dozen steps from her room to my room, I thought a lot on the way. After putting my sister down, I closed the quilt for her for the first time in my life. My tears also flowed naturally for the first time.
Finally, I took a look at my sleeping sister and made a decision, which can be called a punishment, but this punishment does not contain hatred but only sadness.
Now, this is all I can do.
The teacher was quite surprised that I came so early. He was very happy at first, but when he saw the expression on my face, his mood dimmed.
"I know you have a kind heart, and you blame yourself for not wanting to see the people of Shu suffer. I understand that. But don't you think that if it weren't for your plan, we wouldn't have to be defeated in the battle with Dong Zhuo, and the people of Jingzhou would have suffered. Even if we won, we would have been greatly weakened. If Ding Yuan and others suddenly attacked, we would have been unable to resist. Why do you blame yourself so much?" The teacher spoke without waiting for me.
"I understand what you said, teacher. But the ultimate victims of this plan will still be the people of Yizhou. I was born in a commoner family. Although I have not suffered from hunger and cold, I know a little about the sufferings of the people. Now I have suddenly encountered this disaster. It is all my fault. Although I can blame the thief Dong for being hateful, I cannot forgive my own mistake in planning." In fact, I have never thought of a better plan that can both protect myself and eliminate or trap the thief Dong.
"After you leave, who will take your place?" The teacher didn't want me to leave. "I still want to teach you the naval training."
"Teacher, what I can do, my classmates can do as well." He felt that his tone was too harsh. "Kuang, the training of soldiers is a big deal. I brought Qing back from Liangzhou just to use their methods to train our army."
"Then, what is my plan for Jingzhou in the future?" The teacher was silent for a moment and suddenly asked.
"Internally, there has been a lot of rain this year, so there is a high probability of flooding this year. Jingzhou is crisscrossed with waterways, so the drought in the sixth year of Guanghe did not affect Jingzhou much. However, if there is a flood this year, the disaster will be great. All parts of Jingzhou should do a good job of drainage." The teacher nodded, and I immediately understood in my heart, "Teacher, have you passed on this matter?"
"To the outside world," I saw the teacher nod again, and I understood what the teacher meant, "You need someone to make friends with the princes in various places, mainly He Jin in the capital, to make connections. I will go to Luoyang to do this. After I finish this, please let me rest for a year."
"You don't seem to know what to do with us?" The teacher came to the classroom, and still wanted me to stay.
If I don't figure it out, the teacher will keep me back, saying that I need to study more. But now I can't do anything anymore. I just want to find a place where no one is. Suddenly, I have an idea.
"Now, our army should not go to other states. We should train in Jingzhou and build more ships. When the flood comes in summer and autumn, our navy will be of a certain size. We will immediately go south along the river and reach Jiankang. Once the flood comes, we will report it in the name of providing relief to the victims, so as to control the entire Yangtze River. There is no governor in Jiangnan, only a governor. When there is a flood, many local officials will flee. We can take over the reserve officials and take them for ourselves. But we do not have the strength to occupy the four states in Jiangnan for the time being. We can only set up county governors along the river to resist the north. In this way, others will not be able to gain anything if they plot against Jiangnan. With my momentum of taking over all the southern lands, and the teacher's subordinates are all students and friends as assistants, He Jin would not dare to touch the teacher at all. He would only provoke other princes to fight with me for the land of Jiangnan. Because the north is not used to water battles, if they want to share a piece of me, they will have to wait for more than three years. In these five years, I can get the entire Jiangzuo land, and my strength will be greatly enhanced."
The teacher took a breath. It seemed that he had not thought of this plan yet.
"This is a brilliant plan..." The teacher hesitated for a moment, "but this matter is indeed too complicated. I need you to stay and help me complete this plan."
"Teacher, I have something to say, but I don't know whether I should say it or not." I decided to criticize the teacher for his mistakes, and I think I have taken the risk.
"But it's okay to talk."
"Teacher, please forgive me for being disobedient. Teacher, you have to do everything yourself. Although your spirit is commendable, it is not advisable..."
"So, I'll be away for a month and let you take over the post of governor. In addition to avoiding He Jin's edict, it is also to allow everyone to take charge of Jingzhou on their own..."
"Yes, but you have been too partial to me. Many of my classmates are actually very talented, but you don't use them. I have many defects, but I have been promoted all the way. If this continues, I will definitely suffer. I hope that you can promote more people during my absence so that Jingzhou will not lose the opportunity to see so many talented people, and you don't have to worry so much all the time."
The teacher was silent for a long time. Finally, he sighed, told me not to leave, and then got up and went back to the inner room.
When he came back, he held this imperial edict in his hand, "This is your fiefdom. I'm afraid you don't know where your fiefdom is. This was sent from the capital. I haven't given it to you yet because I'm afraid you'll be distracted at such a young age. If you want to go out and relax, you can visit your fiefdom while you're there."
"Teacher, I want to leave Jingzhou and go to Luoyang first to discuss with Zisheng Zishe and others how to open up various connections. Then, I will travel to the north. I want to have some peace and quiet and not have to think about that anymore." I think the teacher misunderstood me.
"No, your fiefdom is not in Jingzhou. Well, can you take a look?"
"Lelong? Isn't that Youzhou?" I unfolded my fief decree and cried out in disbelief.
"Yes, not only that, you can go to Luoyang and ask Zisheng and Zishe, their fiefs are not in Jingzhou. At least we have not received any notice from the capital, whether Heyi was taken over by Zisheng or Zishe."
"How could this be?"
"This is a long story. In short, He Jin doesn't want us to become too powerful. After the Yellow Turban Campaign, we have benefited the most and have expanded our power the most. With this fief, he wants to trap you, the most important officials in Jingzhou, in other states. He can also pick out other princes who are dissatisfied with us. If you don't go, the taxes will go directly to the court, and actually belong to He Jin. Isn't that great? Uh, Zirui, you don't blame the teacher for withholding this edict, right?"
"Teacher, please wake me up. This time I go north, I will do my best to resolve all conflicts between Jingzhou and other lords. But I am the only one who can do this. I don't want any followers."
"How about I ask your sister to accompany you?" the teacher suggested.
"No need," I hesitated, then rejected the suggestion. "Just don't make my sister tired."
After leaving the teacher, I went straight home. When I got home, my sister seemed still asleep. I sat in front of my sister's room, thinking to myself that it was easy to convince the teacher, but it was difficult to get past my sister.
"Don't you feel hot under the scorching sun?" My sister came in from outside! Although she had a smile on her face, it seemed to be forced. She was sitting in the middle hall and waved me over.
"I just came back from your teacher." As soon as I sat down, my sister said, "I didn't see you this morning, and I was afraid that something had happened to you, so I hurried out to look for you. Suddenly I remembered that the city gates were not open yet, so I went to the governor's mansion, and the teacher told me about you. He also advised me not to stop you, so I didn't stop you, and I went to clean you up."
I grabbed my sister and asked, "Do you think I'm running away?"
"No, your personality is not suitable for this. It's a good thing for you to go out. Don't run around everywhere. After going to Luoyang, stay in Lelang. Remember to write back and report your safety." My sister's tone was still calm, but her voice was a little trembling.
"Sister, let me do it." My sister's face was turned away from me, and I held her down and made her sit down.
I only brought a few changes of clothes. I planned to stay in Lelong during the winter. After all, I wouldn't be cold on my own land. I also brought rhino leather armor, wolf and bow and arrow. I didn't know, but after thinking about it, I still took it. My sister watched me hang these on the horse, and I didn't dare to look her in the face.
"Don't wear black clothes. It will be very hot in the summer." My sister saw me wearing black clothes and reminded me. I found a light-colored clothes to wear. My sister likes white, but I like black. I think white is easy to get dirty, so I don't let my sister buy me white clothes. So, I don't have a white clothes until now.
It was time to leave. It was already noon. I sat down in front of my sister and said, "Sister, I'm leaving. Take care."
"Hurry up, hurry up." My sister also sat down and tried to pull me up. She couldn't pull me up, so she gently leaned on my back and said, "You're already this old, are you embarrassed? Go out and take good care of yourself, don't get into trouble, don't always think about using your strength, use your heart more."
I didn't know when I started crying, but after hearing what my sister said, I burst into laughter: "Sister, do you still think of me as a child? I'm seventeen years old, I can do it."
"You are not ashamed," my sister said to me, tears welling up in her eyes. "... Remember to write a letter."
"When I come back, remember to help me find a brother-in-law." These were the last words I whispered into my sister's ear.
I mounted my horse and didn't look back.
I rode to the teacher's thatched cottage to say goodbye. The teacher didn't tell me anything, just told me to feel better and come back early. The teacher's wife stopped me and gave me a piece of paper with "Huangqi, Beiqi" written on it.
"This Astragalus is a top-grade herb. What is this Beiqi?" I have read Shennong's Herbal Classic. It seems that my sister asked me to memorize it. Although I still can't take a pulse, I still know the names of these medicines.
“It’s Astragalus.”
"Isn't Huangqi also called Daimian? It shouldn't be called Beiqi, right?"
"You are very familiar with Shennong's Herbal Classic, right? However, there are too many loopholes in Shennong's Herbal Classic and it needs to be revised. My senior brother and I are planning to do this. Astragalus only grows in the bitter cold land of the far north. I want you to bring one back from your trip to the north. Is that okay?"
"Don't pay attention to her. That place is a foreign land. How can you go there alone?" The teacher disagreed.
"It's okay, I can ask the local government to send more people to take me there, collect the fruits and return, it's no big deal." Seeing the teacher and the mistress glaring at me, I hurried to smooth things over.
I went to my master again. He knew I was going to leave, but he didn't stop me and told me to be careful. However, when he saw the wolf I was about to take, he ordered someone to find a cloth bag.
"This thing may be coveted by thieves, so it's better to keep it in the set. ... You haven't washed it since the Battle of Hanzhong." The master frowned when he saw the bloodstains and some filth on the Heavenly Wolf, "It's too abrupt to treat this magic weapon."
He picked up the wolf and went to the spring in the courtyard to wash it back and forth. Then, he suddenly took it out of the water. In the sunlight, the wolf's fangs flashed a dazzling silver light!
"Okay, the Heavenly Wolf drinks blood, and its fangs are revealed!" The master found some sheepskin, carefully wrapped the wolf's fangs, and then put the Heavenly Wolf's heart into the sleeve.
"General Xie Zhi!" Qing's voice suddenly sounded. I turned around and saw Qing coming in with his family.
"Qing, you..."
"Your place is so big, your teacher and I have discussed letting them live here first, so as not to be too disrespectful to the guests at the post station. You don't mind, do you?" I shook my head of course. My sister must be exhausted by Kong Ming if she lives here. Then I remembered that I haven't greeted Kong Ming yet? No, I didn't see him at home until noon.
"Where's Kong Ming? At Master's house?"
"Here," the master pointed to the backyard, his expression indescribable, "I was looking for him too. He's so powerful. Your master's wife has never been this crazy before. In the end, I was also dragged crazy. I must think of some way."
I said goodbye to my master and Qing, and didn't go to look for Kong Ming, otherwise I might not be able to leave tonight.
I didn’t say goodbye to each of my classmates one by one, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to leave until tomorrow.
Passing by the place where I first met Zhou Cang, I turned around without stopping to rest. I remembered the yellow scarf that Zhou Cang had lost. I opened the bun that my sister had braided for me and tied it into a ponytail. I threw away the tall hat. I didn't want to be involved in these political affairs anymore. At least within this year, I also thought about the village behind the forest. Zhou Yu was probably taking revenge there. But these didn't bother me.
I'm leaving!
When I passed by Xinye, I did not go to see the prefect Yunshu. I will leave the reminiscence until a year later.
I'm leaving!
If they came across a post station along the way, they would eat and change horses. If there was no post station, they would just gallop all the way.
I'm leaving!
Luoyang is just to the left of my sight, so what can Luoyang do... However, after running wildly for a while, I suddenly remembered that I still seemed to have to go to Luoyang. Thinking of this, I hurriedly turned my horse to change lanes and set foot on the road to the imperial capital.
When I entered Luoyang, I was still questioned because I was riding a horse, carrying an iron bow, and had a long bag that I thought was a weapon. "You don't look like a good person," I said, shaking my stubble and nodding my head to show that I agreed with them.
I was from Jingzhou, which made them feel even more strange and thought there was something wrong with me.
"This is the north gate and Jingzhou is in the south. Why are you here?" the leader asked me.
"Yes." I answered honestly, but I felt that the leader must have thought I was mentally ill.
"Help come here." The leader started calling for people, but I was not afraid.
"I am Xie Zhi, the Marquis of Ping'an Fengyun of the Han Dynasty." I quickly revealed my identity to avoid being caught.
The person next to me was immediately stupefied. He didn't dare to ask me for proof, nor did he dare to let go of someone who didn't look like a good person. He had to quickly go and call his superior.
The man who came was a handsome young man, about thirty years old, seven feet tall, with a clear and elegant look, eyes like bright stars, and a foot-long beard floating in front of his head. He looked like a strange man, and I couldn't help but say "good" in my heart.
"I am the captain of Luoyang North Gate. May I ask if this gentleman has any evidence to prove that you are Lord Xie Zhi, Marquis of Ping An Fengyun?"
I suddenly remembered that I didn't bring my official seal! I didn't bring my fiefdom granting letter! This time it's too late. I didn't let my sister pack for me for the first time, and I made such a mistake. I'm really useless. But along the way, I just said my name, sat down, and the postman did everything for me. I think it was because of my official boots and calm demeanor that they didn't dare to ask. This man is a character, strict in law enforcement, and not afraid of my official rank.
"I didn't bring my official seal... Ah, you can go to Zhong Wenjie, the Earl of Loyalty and Trustworthiness in the capital, and ask him to come over. He is my classmate and friend, he must know me." I thought for a long time, but couldn't think of anything on me that could prove it.
"Looking at your stature, you look similar to the Marquis of Ping'an Fengyun. You can be so frank about the name of the Earl of Loyalty and Faith. I can believe you. I heard that the weapon in the hands of the Marquis of Ping'an Fengyun is the pure silver wolf tooth stick used by Maodun, the Chanyu of the Xiongnu. I guess it is in this package. Please tell me." How come everyone in the world knows about this thing? I was just wondering. The captain was a reasonable person. I untied the bundle and took out the wolf.
The flashing light of the wolf's fangs in the afterglow of the setting sun still attracted everyone nearby to come over to watch the fun.
"Your Majesty, I am Xie Zhi, the Marquis of Ping'an Fengyun. I am merely performing my official duties. Please forgive me if I have offended you." The man bowed to me very respectfully, which made me feel embarrassed.
"No problem. I was rude and embarrassed the captain. Please forgive me. What's the general's name?"
"I am just a gatekeeper, not a general. My name is Cao Cao, and my courtesy name is Meng De."