I didn't understand why she suddenly raised the stone and smashed the ground. I only saw snow flying everywhere, but the sound made me know that the ground below her seemed to have something other than stone.
When the stone suddenly dropped from her hand, I realized that the flat ground under her feet was a layer of ice. After breaking it, the stone splashed water three feet high. I just didn't know whether it was a river or a lake. But even so, I still didn't understand what she was trying to do.
She sat in front of the ice cave, holding her abdomen, frowning and biting her chin, as if she was making a great decision. She was afraid of the ice cave, but she couldn't take her eyes away from it.
I thought to myself, she might want to commit suicide. Although the ice hole on the ice is not very big, it is definitely big enough for her size. Now she is hesitating, maybe she still has some attachment to this world. I became nervous, and I was even more afraid that if I suddenly screamed, she would be scared and stop hesitating and jump in immediately. I started to move, but I moved slowly, like crawling. I was thankful that I didn't shake off the snow on my body, otherwise I would be nowhere to hide in the snow in my black shirt. The wind started again, passing through the pines and cypresses in the mountains, rolling up the sky full of snow flowers and long wails.
I just wanted to prevent this girl from committing suicide. I felt nervous and uneasy like never before. Every step made me feel so nervous and anxious. Looking at the girl in front of me who was tortured by pain and hesitation, I felt a little distressed.
The girl suddenly seemed to have made up her mind, and I was still fifty steps away from her. I felt an irreversible despair, but it was soon replaced by more doubt.
She took off her shoes and socks, lifted her skirt, and immersed her two exposed legs in the water. Her body immediately trembled like a leaf in the wind, as if she would be blown away at any time.
Although I still couldn't understand why she did this, at least I knew she didn't want to die, and I felt relieved. Suddenly I noticed that my posture was so strange and indescribable, and suddenly I felt that I couldn't keep my balance, and I fell to the ground. I didn't care about the pain of my face hitting the ice, but immediately stood up, stretched my body, and shook off the snow on my body, because I knew that with such a loud noise, she must have discovered me, and since I was discovered, it would be better not to hide.
After I finished all the actions to express the image, I realized that she didn't even notice me at all. I suddenly felt like a fool again.
I approached her five steps away and looked at her carefully. Her pretty face was pale, her eyes were closed, her purple breasts were clenched, her hands were wrapped around herself, her body was shaking non-stop, and her whole body was swaying back and forth. I knew she was very cold, although I didn't know why she was doing this.
I took off my cape and put it on the girl. The girl's body immediately shook violently, and her eyes opened in fear and looked at me. Those eyes were as clear as a spring, without any unclean things, and it seemed as if she could see through you in one glance.
"Are you an honest person?" She sighed, lowered her head, and wrapped herself tighter with her cloak. She didn't look at me, but at the ice cave.
I guess I should have, because after I put the cloak on her, I took five steps back.
"I guess so." I feel like my mouth has become a little clumsy. I tried to find something interesting to start with, but I couldn't find any.
"Thank you." She only said this, her voice trembling a little.
"It's okay." I just said that. I could sense that she didn't want to say anything more. Maybe the pain and coldness made her too busy to care about these things.
I stood quietly five feet away from her, and could look at her carefully. It was still the same pretty face, but the cold seemed to have made her a little numb. The hot air that came out of her mouth quickly trembled with her body. At this distance, I could clearly see the blood stains on her white skirt. She must have been injured in the abdomen. When she found out that I was looking at her skirt, she immediately covered it with her hand.
"Sister, are you hurt?" I found that she seemed to be ashamed of this, but I still asked it. Otherwise, if the bleeding continued in such weather, someone would definitely die.
She kept shaking her head, lowered her eyebrows and didn't look at me, but isn't this just deceiving herself
"But sister, you are bleeding." I was more polite, but I felt that I had to break her vagina, otherwise she would not admit it.
"It's okay, it's okay." She was a little anxious, as if she thought I was asking a question even though I knew the answer.
"The water is cold, can you bear it?" I thought it might be better to change the subject. At least I didn't think it was a good idea to take a bath here.
She seemed even more angry and fainted before she could even say a word.
I was shocked and at a loss, but after calming down, I walked forward and shook her, hoping to wake her up. When my hand touched her, my whole mind was shocked, not just excited, I was not so anxious that I would not care about her life. But this was my first time touching a girl's body like this. I didn't know the truth when I touched her, thinking she was a boy; my sister seemed to reach out her hand, so I had to hold it and follow behind, it was a habit I had developed since childhood.
I kept saying "Wake up, wake up!", but I couldn't make this unconscious woman show any signs of waking up. But I couldn't let her lie on the ice like this. The ice cave began to close again, and her body seemed very cold. Although I was also cold, my hands were obviously much warmer than hers.
"I'm sorry." My sister told me that we must be polite, even if others don't appreciate it. I carefully lifted her legs out of the ice cave, wiped them a little with my sleeve, and put on shoes and socks in a panic. My heart was beating too fast. I had never been so nervous, as if I was a thief. I don't know what happened, my face was hot. My cloak is very big, I can say that I wrapped her in my cloak, and walked into the mountain the way she came. Before leaving, I took a look at the big stone. The official script was neatly arranged, but she seemed to be practicing calligraphy, because I couldn't see the connection between each word and the next word. However, I didn't have time to study the mystery, so I took her back first.
I had held my sleeping sister like this before, and this time I wrapped this girl in this way and walked in the snow. Fortunately, the snow stopped, and I could identify her footprints towards the mountain. She obviously lived in this mountain, and I didn't know what kind of relationship she had with Xu Ziyu and Yu Ji's friends. Judging from her calligraphy, she should be from a scholarly family. This kind of mountain forest, in the clouds and mist, has always been the residence of great sages who have never been seen.
But in the end, it was not me who found her home, but her family who found us. Because of the occasional wind, the footprints on the mountain road were extremely blurred, and the ground was white and difficult to identify. I met this person while wandering around and searching up and down. She was a middle-aged woman. Unlike the girl, although she was only wearing some ordinary clothes, she looked more luxurious and graceful.
Just as I was trying to make it clear that I was not a frivolous person, the woman smiled and motioned for me to follow her. The terrain along this road was even more dangerous. Although I remained calm, I began to admire these two women for being able to survive in such a dangerous place. We walked east along a ridge. On the left was a mountain forest covered with snow in a white mist, and on the right was a vast expanse of white. I don't know when the clouds dispersed, leaving only a thin mist. The sun shone on the snow, which was very dazzling. I had to blink my eyes continuously.
The lady noticed that I was walking slowly and wanted to help me. I said it was okay, it was just too dazzling and I couldn’t see the road clearly.
"The clouds are particularly low today, so the sunlight shines directly on the snow. My eyes couldn't bear it at first, but it got better soon." She pointed to the white area to the south.
It turns out that the white things in the south are clouds! I am already above the clouds! Are they immortals? But looking at the sleeping girl in my arms, I immediately gave up this idea.
We finally left the shining ridge and entered a dark forest road. I almost became blind. If it weren't for the instructions on the red belt of the woman in front of me, I would have been somewhat accustomed to the dazzling light and would have had no idea how to go. I tried to squint my eyes to see the road ahead. I don't know how she could adapt so quickly. She walked very steadily and didn't care about the change in brightness at all. I could only follow her. Then it suddenly became clear. I just felt that I could distinguish which was the road and which was the tree, and suddenly I was in a vast expanse of white. I thought I would definitely go blind. I squinted my eyes and saw her enter a courtyard surrounded by a fence of branches. Obviously, they didn't have as much interest as Zhang Kai and his wife. They just planted some flowers and grass under the fence in a very elegant way. However, they were now covered with snow and became neat and obvious snow piles. The occasional branches that stretched out told me their prosperity and decline.
"Please come in, leave Xin'er to us." A few more women came out and carried the girl into the house. The process was a bit strange. Everyone looked at me suspiciously, then looked at the woman inquiringly, and finally bowed to me before taking the girl. I sat down in the corridor to rest first, because I felt something was strange. It seemed that there was no man in the middle of this courtyard. Although I couldn't see all the arrangements, it seemed that it felt like a widow's residence. This door was not easy to enter, I thought to myself. Maybe my illness had just healed. I was really very tired. I sat on the steps panting and sweating, and I felt that the sweat was a cold sweat.
"Excuse me, is the man of this house here?" Be direct so as to avoid being illegal.
"He's dead." The man who led the way and I immediately decided to say goodbye. It's not a good place to stay here for long.
"Excuse me, are there any hermits in this mountain? My friends and their friends are in this mountain."
"A few miles north of here there is a lake and in the wall of a cave there lives a Taoist priest called Zuo." She seemed to have a good impression of me and was very familiar with this Taoist priest. "Maybe he is the one you are looking for."
I thanked him hastily and hurried out of the yard. The woman was obviously quite satisfied with my behavior and nodded repeatedly.
I walked less than ten steps before I remembered that I hadn't taken my cloak yet. I thought it would be a bad idea to go back to the widow's house. Although it was a bit cold, I could still stand it. I'm really strong... I felt that I was too thick-skinned. I actually showed off such a shameless question to myself, and I was even a little proud of it.
Less than a mile away, I heard the sound of rushing water. I knew it must be the lake. I was guided by the sound of water and came to a fairyland with two peaks facing each other in the north and south, and a lake flowing in the middle. The mountains on both sides were covered with a layer of mist. As the wind blew, the pine trees on the mountains on both sides were sometimes clear and sometimes blurred. The lake was not very big. In the east, it overflowed over the rocks by the lake to form a waterfall that cascaded down, making a roaring sound. I didn't know how high this section of the cliff was in the mist. It seemed that the only way to get to the other side of the lake was to follow the rocks that emerged from the water along the edge of the waterfall cliff. I always thought I would do it, but I walked very carefully, and the wind was also messing with me, always making me feel that I might fall at any time. But fortunately, less than fifty steps away, I reached the north bank. I knew that there must be people living here, because along the foot of the mountain on this side, it was obvious that someone had paved the road. This made me even more curious. I wondered what this left-handed Taoist looked like.
People who live in such a place must make me feel unfathomable. For example, the family just now obviously had many doubts. First of all, the people who took the girl back definitely did not look like servants. Except for the girl who looked like a lady from an official family, the others seemed like noble ladies. And this road here, this kind of stone road, is a huge project to build. Who did this in a place where the clouds are all below? Less than three hundred steps along the road, I saw a cave. It was pitch black inside, but some decorations on the outside of the cave and the most obvious feature, that is, there was a door, told me that someone was living or working inside. I respectfully bowed to the half-open door and asked, "Excuse me, Taoist Zuo, is here?"
No one responded.
"Is there anyone there?" I was preparing to leave. Regardless of whether it was Taoist Priest Zuo or not, if no one responded to my first sentence, then there must be no one there.
"No one!" A familiar and teasing voice came from inside.
I cursed this old pervert in my heart, but I went in happily. Two familiar people were playing chess inside. Xu Zijiang glanced at me without any surprise.
"I guessed you would come. It must be hard to pretend to be sick."
"It is very hard. So I came to see the two uncles and their good friends."
"What time is it now?" Yu Ji spoke.
"Near noon."
"You came this morning?" Xu Zijiang began to be a little surprised.
"yes."
"horse riding?"
"Yes, the horse is halfway up the mountain."
"Oh, so you got here almost without any delay." I nodded, and Xu Zijiang and Yu Ji stopped playing chess at the same time. Xu Zijiang continued to ask: "How do you know this place? It can't be such a coincidence that you got here in one go."
"There is a family that lives a few miles south of here. I met their family on the road. Later I asked them if there was a hermit here, and they pointed to this place. Where is your friend?"
They seemed to have no interest in this question. They immediately asked me with great interest: "Have you seen that girl?"
"Yes, she seemed injured... I held her... Then her mother must have met me, and I sent her back." I don't know why my face was hot.
"That's not her mother, that should be her sister." Xu Zijiang smiled strangely, so much so that Yu Ji frowned and looked at her.
"Oh, there's quite a big age difference." I said casually, not noticing anything wrong.
"Yes, it's not uncommon for concubines in the harem to have a 20-year age difference."
"Hmm... wait, what do you mean?" I suddenly felt a sense of foreboding.
"They are all concubines of the old Prince Heféi, or they are Liu Yao's stepmothers."
"Then why are they here?"
"The old man died, leaving him alone. He didn't want to have so many stepmothers. But killing or driving them away would be considered unfilial, but letting them be buried alive with him has precedents in history and can be considered a filial act. Why not do it?" Xu Zijiang shook his head helplessly, but then smiled with relief. "It was that girl who discovered Liu Yao's plan and fled Hefei with others, thus escaping from the disaster. Later, it was Taoist Zuo who helped them live in seclusion in this mountain."
"This Liu Yao is really abominable. He actually did such a thing as human sacrifice." The Han Dynasty has been around for 400 years, and such things still happen. I really can't stand it. "Is your Taoist Zuo your friend on this mountain?"
"Yeah, what happened to the girl?" Obviously we were interested in different things. But since they asked, I told them about the whole journey.
The two middle-aged men looked at each other. Yu Ji smiled, and Xu Zijiang laughed at his desk. "You fool, oh, I just found out that this Taoist Zuo has some connection with your family when I came here this time, but don't disturb him now. Someone will come to call us to eat at noon."
Later I watched the two men play chess until a boy came to call them.
After I came out of the cave, I saw a man in his fifties coming out of the cave in front of me. His thick white beard and his narrow eyes showed his age. His dark blue Taoist robe and a crown showed his identity. He was obviously sizing me up and down, looking me carefully.
"Zi Rui, Xie Zhi, Ping An Feng Yun Hou, Jingzhou, Xiangyang." Xu Zijiang listed all my keywords at once.
“Oh… Oh…” I suddenly understood but couldn’t think of what to say. My first impression of this old man was that he was… old. I found that I was almost the same as him. Maybe it was because of my age that my brain became dull.
"How are you now?" He seemed to be very familiar with me and asked me this directly.
"Very good. Excuse me, Taoist Zuo, do you know my parents?"
"I don't know him. No one introduced him to me." I think there seems to be some misunderstanding between us.
"Do you know who my parents are?"
"Know."
"Please teach Zirui." I immediately knelt down in front of him and kowtowed deeply.
"You're about to turn eighteen, right?"
"Yes, there is still one month left, in the twelfth lunar month."
"Oh, that's almost time. You live in Xiangyang, right?" I think there must be something wrong with Taoist Zuo's brain.
"Yes, please teach me the names of my parents. I have wasted my eighteen years and still don't know their names. I am really unfilial." I was getting a little emotional and anxious.
"On your eighteenth birthday, I will go to Xiangyang and tell you. Now I must keep it secret, this is an agreement." He was a little old-fashioned. I didn't know my parents for eighteen years, but he insisted on not telling me because of an agreement. But I immediately felt relieved, because if it were me, I probably wouldn't do that either. I have endured it for eighteen years, but I broke my oath a month ago. It's really not good.
But I still felt uncomfortable inside, as if something was blocking my heart.
Taoist Zuo seemed to be still thinking about something, but soon he finally put aside his big nose face, smiled and pulled my arm to look around, and told me that I could fit in my sleeves at that time, but now I am too big. But I was full of thoughts, I don’t know what’s going on, I suddenly started to get a little scared again, I always have a premonition that not knowing this life may be better than knowing it.
We followed the lake and turned up the mountain. The road was very slippery and I don't know how they walked steadily. The three of them were fine all the way up, but I had to rely on Zuo Laodao frequently to maintain my balance.
"Young man, don't be too hasty, but take solid steps one by one." Yu Ji gave me this advice from behind.
"Zi Rui knows." I always climb the stairs by taking two or three steps at a time, but I didn't expect that I could only stumble left and right on the stone steps that were still a little slippery even after the snow was swept. Yu Ji's next sentence made me remember it for a lifetime, and forget it for a lifetime.
"But remember the road ahead won't be all paved stairs. Sometimes it will be slippery, and sometimes it won't be there at all."
"Zi Rui is learning from you."
We had some vegetarian food in a Taoist temple on a mountain. From there, you can see the huge rock if you look west. At the banquet, they chatted. What they talked about had nothing to do with worldly affairs. It was all about alchemy. I never believed in this. Otherwise, it would be hard to explain why none of the so many kings could live longer than ordinary people. At least I know that Qin Shihuang and Emperor Wu of my dynasty had done this. Occasionally, they would ask me about it, mainly about the girl. Taoist Zuo introduced that she was a talented woman who married from Yizhou. She was chosen by Liu Yan, the governor of Yizhou and the prince of Chengdu, to marry in order to prolong the life of the old prince who was already dying. Unexpectedly, she came here and before she could get married, the old man died. Liu Yao wanted to take the girl for himself, but he didn't expect that the girl would see through the conspiracy. The girl was kind-hearted, so she saved the lives of all the ladies. The girl was also very good at calligraphy. Taoist Zuo also asked her to copy the Tao Te Ching for him. I asked the woman's name, and Zuo Laodao thought for a while before telling me her name was Huang Xin. I was worried because his memory was so bad, and I couldn't guarantee that he hadn't made any mistakes in the past 18 years, or he simply couldn't remember it at all, or he simply told me a month later because he couldn't remember it anymore and needed a month to slowly recall it.
After dinner, I borrowed the Tao Te Ching and suddenly found that I was being a little unreasonable.
"Master Zuo, may I ask your name?"
"Zuo Ci." The old man did not hesitate this time. It seemed that he still remembered his name.
"You just remembered it? I see that your mind is all on that girl. She's Liu Yao's stepmother, and she's of a very high generation. Moreover, she's a married woman, but she's a widow now." General Xu kept muttering behind me. I suddenly found him so annoying. He knew everything I was thinking.
I was indeed thinking about that girl, and that girl was indeed very pretty, and the punctuation in the Tao Te Ching was exactly the same. (Author's note: There were no punctuation marks in the Han Dynasty) The neat and delicate seal characters revealed a rare transcendent talent among women.
"Zi Rui has also studied the Tao Te Ching?"
"He has not only studied it, but has memorized it thoroughly. You know, when he debated with Yuan Shao in Qingzhou, he could quote from classics, many of which were from this book."
"Oh, how to quote from the classics?"
"For example, Xin Ping, a strategist under Yuan Shao, asked if the sky had a mother. Zi Rui answered that it had a mother and that it was called a name. Feng Ji immediately said, "Nonsense, what do you mean?" Zi Rui replied that the Tao Te Ching says that the beginning of heaven and earth was nameless, and the mother of heaven and earth was named, so he knew it. Xin Pi saw that his brother was frustrated, so he immediately asked, "Do all things have a mother?" Zi Rui also answered that it was three. Feng Ji frowned and said, "That's nonsense, what do you mean?" Zi Rui said that the Tao Te Ching says that the Tao gave birth to one, one gave birth to two, two gave birth to three, and three gave birth to all things. If three is not the mother, how can it give birth to them?"
"Hmm... Hmm... Hmm." Zuo Ci answered in a rhythmic tone. The three changes in tone showed that he suddenly understood and felt that my answer was so clever. In fact, I was forced to hurry at that time. Once I was forced to no place to escape, my talent began to flow. They talked to me about the geography of the world. All I knew about this was this map. I said that they didn't know the ins and outs of these things, and it was useless to know them, so I led to that question and answer session.
"I have studied the Tao Te Ching for thirty years. If you ask me to answer these questions, I may not be able to think of them. Zirui is a great talent. Please follow me." He led me down the mountain, to the cave just now. He showed off to me like a child: "I will show you something."
Finally, he picked up a piece of black iron from the ground and threw it into a very beautiful blue water, which was similar to the color of sea water, but not quite.
"Wait a moment." His face lit up with excitement, revealing his childish nature as if he had found a treasure.
After a moment, he used a wooden clamp to pick out the piece of iron and asked proudly, "Did you see anything?"
The originally dark and dull iron suddenly had a yellowish glow. I was surprised and asked, "Gold?"
"No, it's copper. I have figured out the secret, but due to my slowness, I have not made any further progress. If possible, I hope Zirui can practice with me, and I will definitely achieve great success."
"I don't want to." I still rejected his kindness. "It's useless to me. Even gold is useless. My salary is enough for me to live well. No matter how much money I have, I can't be as happy as I am with my sister, classmates and teachers."
"It's good that Zirui has this kind of heart, but you misunderstood. I want you to join me in exploring the mysteries of everything in this world, not the art of alchemy."
"As the saying goes, the great truth is the simplest and easiest. I think we should just slowly experience it in our daily lives."
"You really don't want to, do you still want to be an official?"
"To be honest, I can't abandon my teacher, my sister, and my classmates and brothers."
"What can you do there?"
"Defend Jingzhou."
"Defend Jingzhou? Jingzhou is also part of China. You princes are fighting for hegemony, but you regard each state as your own sphere of influence. If you fight each other like this, the only ones who will suffer are the people. When you go into battle, you will face generals like you and soldiers who were once the people. Aren't your so-called victories built on the corpses of the Chinese people? War, what is war? Have you ever thought about why there are wars? It's because of people like you who fight for personal gain and power without paying attention to the suffering of the people. There shouldn't be an emperor, and there shouldn't be officials like you. Then the people would live a better life."
The words were very bold, but they really left me speechless. He was right, why should we fight? Although I was born in a commoner family, I also know some of the sufferings of the people. But now think about it, have I really thought about them fundamentally? I almost wanted to fight with Dong Zhuo. As a result, the people of Yizhou suffered because of my clever plan. Why should we fight to save ourselves? Isn't it okay for us not to come out to be officials? But if we don't come out, someone else will come out, isn't it the same for Gongsun Zan and others? So how can we solve it? I went out without saying a word, not knowing what to do? I think I need to find a place to think about it. I just walked along the lake and thought I need to think about it carefully.
First of all, I became an official because of my teacher, but if I hadn't had a teacher, I think I would have gone into officialdom because there was nothing else to do. It was just that the teacher's appearance made me rise all the way. Then, I participated in the suppression of the Yellow Turban Rebellion and incorporated the Yellow Turban Army. If we didn't suppress the Yellow Turban Army, if the Yellow Turban Army won, and the dynasty changed. My heart tightened for a moment, and I felt that I was too bold. If the dynasty changed, and the Yellow Emperor was really established, would the people live better? After the Yellow Turbans were eliminated, several princes appeared at once. He Jin completely took control of the power of the Han Dynasty, and the world became like the Warring States Period. So, is it really going to change the dynasty? Xu Zijiang and I were shocked at the time, but I always felt that this was impossible, so I quickly put it aside and forgot about it. But this time, what Yu Ji told me made me confused again. Why do we fight? Why do we fight? The people who die are our own people! We are separatist in our own land, but we are at war with other Chinese people. Will we become historical criminals? I am completely lost, just like now, the vast world, no road, only a row of footprints behind me, and a huge rock that has turned to the north and flew from nowhere. I suddenly feel very tired and don't know what to do.
At this time, the bare boulder appeared very conspicuously on my way, and I unknowingly turned to the place where I first met the woman.
I knew she was a talented woman, and I still remembered that she had written something on it. I walked over, and the inkstone and the brush were still on the stone, as well as the water bag leaning in the snow and the bundle next to the stone. I didn't touch the bundle, but just picked up the inkstone, and then I found that the ink had dried up!
This is absolutely surprising, because of the weather. When I think about it, my inkstone often freezes in winter, and my sister knows I am lazy. But her inkstone is dry, not frozen.
I lifted the water bag, but it wasn't frozen, and there was a gurgling sound of water inside. Could this be the magic water? I was even more curious. I pulled open the lid without any effort. In the past, at this time, opening the water bag had to be done by a strong man like me. Usually in winter, when my sister handed me a bag, it was this thing.
As soon as I opened the cork, I immediately knew what was going on. A strong aroma of wine filled my nose, and I couldn't help but take a sip. Then, I looked at the words on the stone with a sense of satisfaction, temporarily putting my worries behind me.
The handwriting is still beautiful, but this time it looks much more detailed. However, I still can’t understand it.
This is a neat and square group of characters. The reason I am like this is that I still don't understand what it means or how to read it. Even though I can see that some places and some characters have some meaning when connected together, I still don't know where her meaning starts and where it ends.
I pulled off my headscarf, thinking to myself that I was asking my brother for a favor, so I poured some wine and ground some ink, wrote it down, and thought about it slowly.
Why should I be sad? Snow is better than white clothes.
Sitting in my heart, I have truly witnessed the bright moon and clouds
How can I be afraid of being happy
The window is open and the sky is full of stars.
Outside, like the blue sky, carrying the wilderness with it, it rises and floats
The crowd was in a hurry, and the sky and the moon were in the market.
The wine is so busy, but I don't regret staying in the street room late
It's getting harder but I don't regret staying with you
Falling in memory of the text of abandoning the hometown far away from home
A solitary swallow flies by the stream in front of the hall, hiding between the fragrant lattices