"I want to waste time with you, like looking down at the fish
such as leaving the teacup on the table and leaving
waste their good-looking shades
I also want to waste the sunset, like taking a walk
Worn out until the sky is full of stars
I'm going to waste when the wind blows
Sitting in the hallway in a daze until the dark clouds in your eyes
all blown out the window
I have wasted the world..."
Chen Nian sat on the roof in the morning light, reciting the poems in the book softly; Kitano was beside her, bowing his head and playing the guitar.
The breeze blew across the roof, and the pages and the boy's hair flew.
After Chen Niannian finished, he turned to look at Kitano. He also finished playing a string of chords, looked at her from the corner of his eyes for a moment, and said, "There is progress." He lowered his head again, tapped his fingers on the guitar a few times, and started another string of chords.
Not very skilled, intermittent and repeated.
The boys are practicing.
All kinds of breakfast scents come from the alley, all of which are the most characteristic snacks in the city, steamed cakes, fried glutinous rice cakes, fried bean skins, and sweet potato cakes.
Chen Nian said: "It turns out that Xicheng also has this place. Xiaomi said that the red bean bread is the best she has ever eaten."
Kitano glanced at her.
Chen Nian explained: "Xiaomi is, I am at the same table."
Kitano asked, "Will you still be friends in the future?"
Chen Nian nodded: "Yes."
"Why are you sure? After graduation, everyone went their separate ways."
"Xiaomi will also go to Beijing, we have an appointment."
Kitano didn't answer.
Chen Nian suddenly realized something and lowered his head. She lowered her head, but thoughts popped up; she couldn't hold back, it came to her mouth, she wanted to say something, but she was startled and swallowed the sentence.
She restarted the topic and asked, "This is your home?"
"No." Kitano said, "I'm not from Xicheng. I came here with my mother when I was a child, and she left her in the welfare home."
Chen Nian didn't know how to answer the call.
"How about you, native?"
"Well. But my mother went to Zhuhai to work part-time."
Kitano didn't speak, and played the song out of tune.
Chen Nian swayed his feet lightly, saw the railroad track, and remembered that run away, a restless urge gradually surged in his chest.
"Kitano?"
"Um?"
She put her hands on the edge of the building and looked downstairs, as if she was about to fall, then raised her head sharply and said, "I can't wait."
"Can't wait for what?"
"Get out of here, out of your hometown. .
"Why do you want to go?"
"Go far and grow up."
"Why do you want to grow up?"
"I don't want to do it, weak. Young people are weak." Chen Nian said, "When you grow up, you can protect yourself."
The chord was interrupted for a second, Kitano looked sideways at her, his temple hair slipped on his clean profile face: "Someone will protect you."
"No." Chen Nian shook his head, "Danger is everywhere; fear cannot be... protected."
only myself.
The hearts of youngsters looking forward to growing up are eager, restless, and trembling, like an arrow on a bow that is about to leave the string but is firmly held by the palm of the hand.
Chen Nian looked at the distance persistently, and Kitano looked at her with the same eyes.
Eventually he said, "You'll go somewhere better." You'll grow up to be a better you.
"What about you?" She turned her head.
"It's the same wherever I go." He smiled, a little lonely.
"Do you want to... leave your hometown?"
"You said get out of here?" The notes on the fingertips continued to jump.
"Um."
"think."
"when?"
"Soon," he said.
Chen Nian smiled slightly, soon.
"I won't be able to stay," Kitano said. Chen Nian didn't have time to figure out the meaning of this sentence, and he said plainly,
"I hate everyone here."
Chen Nian thought of his mother and father, the ridicule and humiliation of his peers. She whispered, "I don't like them either."
She said so.
It was as if they were the same, standing on the same front; as if the two teenagers on the roof were facing an opposing world side by side.
Kitano listened and remained silent.
I hate this city.
Fortunately, I didn't meet you too soon, otherwise I would fall in love with everyone in this city.
That really kills me.
Fingers slipped on the guitar strings, the boy slowly sang,
"That laughter reminded me of my flowers, quietly blooming for me in every corner of my life.
I thought I would stay by her side forever, but today we have left, in a sea of people. "
The days of sitting side by side are only temporary. Everyone knows that the separation is imminent.
Chen Nian raised his head and blew his hair, the sky was a touch of blue.
"Woo-" The pigeon breeder blew his whistle, and flocks of white pigeons flew overhead.
When the train whistle sounded, the teenagers stood up and went down the fire stairs. Chen Nian didn't pay attention. He stepped in the air and was about to fall. Kitano leaned over and pulled her up, picked her up, and said, "Be careful."
In her ear, the low voice was like listening to an early morning chord.
Chen Nian blushed and grabbed his arm.
He didn't let go of her, lowered his head slightly, and kissed her earlobe lightly. Chen Nian shuddered and closed his eyes. His kisses, his snorts, burrowed into her ears like little bees, shaking and stimulating.
After being kissed by him, his whole face was on fire.
It's a little piece of honey. She was happy, happy, scared, and sad.
Kitano took her near the school, followed her, and watched her enter the school. She looked back at him, as always.
There was something in each other's eyes.
It was Saturday, and Chen Nian's school had classes. Kitano had nothing to do all day, and was not in the mood to play with his friends.
The room was kept clean by Chen Nian, and there was her scent on the bed.
The time for the college entrance examination is getting closer and closer, and she has to leave, but he is used to her, what should I do
An unspeakable irritability permeated down from the roof.
He frowned, rolled out of bed, sat down at the table and opened the Bible. Chen Nian turned it over many times when he practiced reading. He casually looked at it. The paper was extremely thin. When he closed the book, he accidentally tore off the page.
Gospel of Matthew.
Kitano clipped it back. Yu Guang noticed something strange—the duckling in the carton was dead, and it was eaten by mice at some point in time.
He disposes of the ducks together with the carton. He is in a complicated mood. He thinks that he will buy two more tomorrow morning. Chen Nian should not find out.
Inadvertently fell asleep in the afternoon and overdid it. It was almost dusk, Kitano hurriedly put on his clothes, and while sending a text message to Chen Nian, he suddenly heard a rustling outside the door. He put down his phone and opened the rolling shutter door, hitting the woman's beautiful and heavily makeup eyes.
is the mother.
His face went cold.
The woman was also stunned, not expecting him to be here at this time.
"I'll get something." She smiled.
Kitano stepped aside.
She went into the room and put her clothes in the closet into the box. She went to the bathroom to wash her hands and accidentally saw the girl's skirt and underwear. She pulled the box out and asked with a smile, "Have a girlfriend?"
Kitano didn't answer, and looked at the dense mulberry trees beside him.
"You kid looks like your dad." She reached out to squeeze his face, and the boy opened her hand ruthlessly.
"The same stubborn temper."
Kitano's face was already cold.
The woman knew that he was most disgusted by her mentioning his father, so she stopped talking, walked a few steps, thought about it, and took out a few pieces of money from her bag: "Here. Take it."
"don't want."
The woman's hand was hanging in the air for a long time. Seeing that he didn't pick it up, she didn't force it. She stuffed it back into her bag and suddenly asked, "Did your uncle secretly send you money?"
Kitano didn't answer.
"I'm your guardian, if he wants to fight, he should..." She saw the deeper coldness in his eyes, closed her mouth, and left.
Kitano pulled down the rolling shutter door, slammed it shut, and locked the door.
The factory area was empty, and in the distance, a woman's voice came on the phone: "... Haha, think I'm dirty? Where did your nephew come from?... "
Kitano ignored it. After a month, he went to Beijing to explore, and he would not talk to her.
He trotted downstairs, put on his helmet, started his motorcycle and galloped away.
…
Chen Nian sat on the steps, and the text message only had two words: "It's too late." She put the phone back and waited for him with her chin up.
"What are you doing here, not going home?"
Chen Nian raised his head, it was Xu Miao. She came to school, people behaved well, and now she looked at Chen Nian with an uncomfortable expression, and mumbled, "I'm sorry before." She ran into her father's car, and her parents kept her under strict supervision these days.
The sun went down, Chen Nian sat in the same place, and Beiye hadn't come yet;
The number of students leaving the school gradually decreased, and passers-by said: "The car accident over there is scary, and the people riding motorcycles are really..."
Chen Nian was stunned and rushed down the stairs: "I'm sorry, sorry, I want to ask, a car accident?"
"On Lanxi Road and Xuefu Road, there is a motorcycle rider. He must be a student."
"Color?" Chen Nian said anxiously, "Car, color."
"It seems to be red and black."
Chen Nian was in a cold sweat, and immediately took out his mobile phone and called Kitano. In the cramped cabin filled with the setting sun, the phone vibrated on the cover of the Bible on the desktop.
She ran over.
Passing a flower shop, she was rushing over when the clerk poured water, and before she could stop her hands, dirty water splashed on her. The clerk hurriedly apologized, and she ran away without looking back.
When she ran to the intersection, she became a water man with sweat. There was a car accident at the intersection, and she hurriedly pushed aside the crowd and squeezed in. It was a miserable situation. However, the car is not the car, and the person is not the person.
Chen Nian squeezed out again, thinking that he was lucky.
Hot sweat, she had to go back to the school gate and wait for him.
After walking quickly for a while, she heard the sound of the motorcycle behind her. She turned around and saw Kitano, who was heading in this direction quickly. Chen Nian was about to go to the side of the road, when a sudden force came behind her, and she was dragged to the dim alley by covering her mouth.
Motorcycles galloped past.
Kitano parked his car a street away and rushed to the school. A few students walked out of the school gate, but there was no Chen Nian on the steps.
He frowned and touched his trousers pocket. The appearance of the woman made him forget his phone. He remembered the number and went to the canteen to find a public phone, but no one answered.
He bit his lip and thought about it. He rushed into the campus despite the guard's obstruction, and went straight to the classroom. The students on duty in Chen Nian's class were cleaning, and there was no Chen Nian.
The guard chased after him, and the boy rushed out of the school.
Call the canteen again, this time shut down.
The boy's hand on the phone shook again and again.
With a dark face, he strode to the concierge and asked, "What about the female student who is always used to sitting at the school gate?"
The guard was chasing after him to the point of death, and was in a fit of rage: "Which school are you from, trespassing..."
"I'm asking you something!" Kitano suddenly roared.
The guard was startled, stared, and pointed in that direction: "I ran back in a hurry not long ago..."
Kitano rushed down the stairs.
The sun has gone down.
Seven or eight of Wei Lai grabbed Chen Nian's hair and dragged her deep into the alley, insulted, slapped, kicked, and pressed her face to the ground.
This group of teenagers vented all their dissatisfaction with her like crazy, dissatisfied with her stuttering, her beauty, her quietness, and her good grades; dissatisfied with her disclosure, she was not deterred;
Perhaps there is more dissatisfaction, dissatisfaction with the teacher's lesson, scolding from parents, dissatisfaction with their own boring and boring present, dissatisfaction with their confused and hopeless future.
There was no end to the teens' venting, and they grabbed her and tore her clothes. Chen Nian struggled hard, holding on to the collar of the school uniform and didn't let go. Can be outnumbered. They swear at her, beat her in the face, slap her in the head, and kick her between the legs.
Someone walked by the roadside, and they were unscrupulous.
There is nothing to frighten these teenagers.
With his shoulders exposed, Chen Nian protected his clothes and shouted for help, save me. The passers-by didn't look at it and hurried away.
She seemed to see Hu Xiaodie, indifferent in the distance.
Her dress was torn to shreds, the scattered textbooks were strewn with footprints, and the pages of Darwin's face were smashed into the mud.
Outside the block, the boy named Kitano ran on the road with all his might, passing through the countless lies and cruel days in his youth.
still fantasizing,
Don't panic, he said, it doesn't matter, he will definitely find her.
They laughed, tugging at the key rope around her neck, dragging her white body and shouting insults, like a butcher dragging a piece of pork:
"Bitch, bitch, watch it for free!"
She is not a girl of their age, not a person, but an animal; she is exposed to the eyes of passing boys, for them to laugh, watch teasing, take pictures and videos.
They tore at her underwear like mad dogs dismembering their prey, and she curled up to hold the last fig leaf. During the struggle, she seemed to see the "Bible" she had read aloud. She burst into tears and sobbed:
"Our father in heaven,
May your name be holy, and may your kingdom come.
May your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. "
"His," they stripped her bare.
The body curled up instinctively, they broke her apart, and she resisted. They scolded her, beat her, and stepped on her fingers.
She cried, "Forgive my sins;
as I forgive others for their sins against me;"
They laughed: "Bitch. People are watching in vain!"
"Please spare me the trials of affliction that I cannot bear;
Please save me from danger..."
In the name of love. Amen.
However,
Is there a possibility,
There is no love in this world.