The Youthful You Who Was So Beautiful

Chapter 29: [Spoiler] A letter

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Everyone, I'm posting so late today because I've been thinking about the extras. One is that when it is released, I have to write a side story, and the other is,

- Kitano, what do you want most

- I like someone and I want to give her a good ending.

That's all.

This is the best ending I can think of. Because there are infinite possibilities in the future, and there is no gap that you are worried about, because Brother Xiaobei has a high IQ and can do anything.

So selfishly, I clicked here on the Internet.

Fanwai is written by the publishing editor after the manuscript is finished, and it is the rule to publish additional fanwai (more than the online version). And the request was given at the time: the tone of this article is dark, and I am afraid that it will not pass the trial, and the extraneous must make up for it.

So I wrote a letter. The main ones are two, one was written by Zheng Yi to Chen Nian, as follows;

The other one was four years later when Chen Niannian, a graduate student, was also paroled by Kitano and went to her side. At that time, in order to write a feedback letter, she replied to Zheng Yi.

But I still have some reservations about the extra format. Put this one first, maybe in the future, the extra post will delete the form of letter and change it to a more direct or other better form.

that's it.

[Letter written by Zheng Yi]

Chen Nian:

See letter peace.

This is the ninth letter I wrote to you, and I am wondering how many times I will write you before replying. Say it at will. It doesn't really matter, I know you'll see it.

Since I said goodbye that day, I don't know how you are doing recently. I asked Xiaomi about it, and she said you had a peaceful life.

I believe Xiaomi said calm. Because you're not like all the girls I've ever met, Chen Nian.

Time flies, and a year has passed in the blink of an eye. I had planned to write you a letter every month, but I was too busy.

Everything is fine here in Xicheng. Kitano also lived a peaceful life, as I told you before, working and studying every day.

Last month they assembled equipment for the assembly plant, and this month they helped the machine tool factory grind parts.

He is very smart, and he can do any job as soon as he gets his hands on it. He did it again yesterday. For the parts he helped the machine tool factory grind, the dimensional error was reduced to a record 0.1 microns. I don’t really understand the technical terms such as machine wear rate, but listen to their colleagues, that is equivalent to saving the machine tool factory millions. .

Colleagues also said that Kitano is very sensible, and his attitude is different from others; some people are messing around, but he is very hardworking and serious, wants to learn something, and wants to go out early.

He has matured. I heard that his roommate secretly opened up a letter you wrote to him. The only time he was in a mood swing for so long was that he almost got into a fight, but in the end he didn't.

He endured it.

He has always been very good, but he speaks very little. The teacher who gave them cultural lessons was about his age. He was very gentle and easy-going, and he couldn't pry his mouth.

She told me that Kitano's culture class was also serious, but she didn't respect the teacher and didn't say hello when she met. I joked that his eyes were on the top of his head and he couldn't see you.

I went to see him last week, and he seems to have grown taller again; Chen Nian, have you grown taller

But people are still so thin, and so should you.

By the way, some things have developed to the present and have achieved some results, and I would like to tell you about them. Since last year, I have applied to organize activities to prevent and resist school violence, and the above attaches great importance to it. So far, good results.

It seems that there are no problems that cannot be solved in this world, only the attention and energy that are not invested enough.

So I often wonder, if someone, like me, paid enough attention and energy when Zeng Hao and Wei Lai got into trouble, wouldn't everything after that happen.

Chen Nian, I always owe you.

Even now, I still want to say sorry to you.

Because of making promises easily, because of betrayal of your trust, because of not protecting you well; as a result, you have a skeptical attitude towards the group I am in, so that later you cannot find the right way when you are most isolated and helpless.

But I know, you will say lightly again, it's not my business.

You are always so calm and you always see things through.

But Chen Nian, I often think, I want to know, now you still believe, believe in truth, believe in beauty, believe in goodness, and believe in "belief" itself.

If so, I would be very grateful.

Zheng Yi

October 29, 2016

【Letter written by Chen Nian】

With Chen Nian's character, he would not be able to write a letter. This letter is a written material for the parole feedback.

Officer Zheng:

Hi.

In a flash, four years have passed.

Picking up the pen, I don't know what to say.

My studies went well, and I'm continuing my master's degree.

I wrote this letter because Officer Xiao Yao said that Kitano left Xicheng for a different place during his parole period. I have to write some written materials to prove that his state and mine are normal and positive. I don't know if a letter counts as a written certificate.

When I went to pick up Kitano at the end of August, I didn't see you. Officer Xiao Yao said you went to Beijing for a meeting.

Speaking of picking him up, there is a small matter. When he came out, he was empty-handed and had nothing but a suit of clothes. At that time, I was very nervous. I was afraid that the clothes I bought would not fit. I heard that people who come out have to burn their old clothes to remove bad luck; but he said no.

He said, no more burning clothes.

He also said that even if you burn clothes, you will not be able to burn the things people have done or the places they have walked.

I said yes.

That day seemed to be in sight, but two months later, Officer Xiao Yao called again to urge the written materials. I think the written materials are also for you to see. If you want to be "normal" and "positive", I will write you a letter.

For several years, you have been writing to me, and I am actually grateful, because you always talk about Kitano. I am worried that he will report good news but not bad news. I was relieved to see your letter and to know that you visited him regularly.

I never reply because, I don't want to talk to you. I know that you are helping Luo Ting and the others. I feel uneasy. Why didn't you stop Wei Lai earlier? Why did you still help Luo Ting and the others

They were given opportunities again and again, but what about the pain Kitano and I suffered.

That night four years ago, I hated that city, I hated everyone who was born in that city, including you, including my mother far away from the city, including me who tried hard to grow up but was always weak, including Those who are clearly their peers but rely on the protection and rights they don't know who gives them are more formidable than adults.

However, the mood that night gradually faded, and now I can't describe it exactly. Because time sifts them away, every time I look back, I think I will see sadness, but what I have left at that time are mulberry trees, street lamps, swings, earrings, flowers, plums, and gummy bears, and The smell of toast in the sunset.

Perhaps because of that night, sleeping on Kitano's bed, he hugged me and shared half of the pain. I felt that he took more than half of it. However, none of you will understand this experience.

Only he and I know.

From a very early time, I have forgotten Luo Ting and the others, but I can't say that I am forgiven.

After studying the Fa for so many years, I have seen good things and bad things.

The class also talked about juvenile delinquency, and the teachers who taught the Fa always said that the punishment in the form of relief would cause the punishment to outweigh the crime and undermine the foundation of the law. It is said that young people, especially, lose everything when they should study and shape their outlook on life, and they are more likely to embark on a real evil path and pollute the society.

He also said that the law is of human nature, and while punishing sinners, it leaves society with the greatest degree of hope.

I actually don't agree with the teacher's beautification of the law from the perspective of the perpetrator.

Because hope is only available to some people.

But paradoxically, whenever I think of Kitano, I hope the law will be more lenient towards him.

You say, people are not very hypocritical.

Soon after, I received an apology letter from Luo Ting. The mood at the time was very calm. I didn't think about anything.

I think the state that she returned to is a good result. As for the original forgiveness, I hadn't thought about it.

To this day, I still feel that the harm done to the victim is unfair.

But at the same time, I have to admit that if even the law were to retaliate and destroy it quickly, the world would be crazy and terrifying.

I don't want that.

I think, right now, I just found a balance between the two.

When I was a kid, I thought it was black and white, and there was no middle ground;

But when I grew up, I came into contact with too many people and things, and I found that man is the most complex animal in nature, and his personality can be multi-faceted; hypocrisy and truth, viciousness and kindness, ugliness and beauty, can exist. in the same heart.

No, it should be said that it must exist in the same heart.

In this world, there is no human heart that only possesses truth, kindness and beauty; it only possesses the positive but does not possess the negative opposite to it.

There has never been such a person.

The struggle of people's hearts is just to find that balance.

Like many years ago, when I mentioned that movie, I brought a knife, and I thought about killing Willie, which was a bad thought.

Just like many years ago, when Kitano wanted to complete the plan, he had the idea of letting Lai Zi die, which was also a bad idea. But when he saw Lai Zi, he couldn't bear to do it; but later he hit him on the head under alcohol and resentment.

We are all looking, sometimes we go astray, sometimes we come back.

Kitano said that these years have been a good thing for him. That judgment awakened his chaotic and distorted life before.

I don't know if he was comforting me, but he did mature.

What doesn't change is that whether it's five years ago or five years later, he's the toughest and most gentle person I've ever met, like a light that lights up at dusk.

Once, every time I thought of him losing his freedom and walking in a dark place, he wrote all the good things in life in his letters to me - the bird flying from the window, it has green feathers; the little flower blooming in the gap, it has pink petals. - I want to cry.

You say, how can he be so good

Yesterday, he took me to have my ears pierced and was walking on the street, he suddenly looked at the sky and said to me: Little stutter, look.

That cloud doesn't look like a heart.

I looked up, like ah.

the wind is blowing,

Ah, become like a flower again. He said, like the flowers you painted on your ears on the day of the trial.

Yeah, like it.

Once, in my subconscious, I was complaining about you, but then I discovered that the root cause was myself.

Every decision a person makes is ultimately up to oneself, not others.

Over the years, I've wondered countless times if I had called you after stabbing Wei Lai that day, instead of going to Kitano, things would have been different.

That summer, wouldn't it be necessary to be so panicked and fearful, living in trembling day and night.

And in the years that followed, wouldn't it have to be so hard

But, no if.

Even if I go back in time, I will not call you, I will go to him without hesitation, this is instinct. Because he is the only person I trust in this world, entrusting him with his life.

We share joy, we share misery. We share the light and we share the darkness.

I remember, during that time, he used to ask me: "Do you believe me?"

Of course I believe it.

Every time he asked, I believed it a little more.

He said I didn't kill anyone, but I believed I didn't. This is the basis for me to firmly follow the path of law.

No one has ever protected me, protected my heart from darkness, and kept my heart pure and whole like he did.

But who could have imagined the suffering that the person who protects me has experienced himself

He once said, I hope one day I understand the meaning of looking up at the stars; I think, because of him, I gradually understand.

In one of your letters you asked me if I still believed, believed in truth, believed in beauty, believed in goodness, believed in "belief" itself.

Officer Zheng,

Only because of Kitano, I still believe.

Chen Nian

November 1, 2019

The author has something to say: The publication information of this article will be announced on the "Jiuyuexi" Weibo as soon as possible.

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