He Shu Shan turned around abruptly, his red and bloodshot eye sockets were already filled with tears, but he kept his eyes wide open, not letting a single tear fall.
"Chu Jinjie! You haven't really taken me seriously since you were young, and I'm just your dispensable playmate!" He Shushan gritted his teeth, but couldn't stop his bitter laughter Poured from the lips, "Five years ago was my promise, I said that I would not leave you first in this life. I sang for you, I told you, I will play the piano for you for the rest of my life. But!"
He and Shu Shan walked towards the man who was stunned in place step by step, the sun was covered by dark clouds behind him, and there was no longer the gentleness and warmth of looking at the sun. His expression was the despair and sadness that Chu Jinjie had never seen before, just like the despair and hopelessness expressed when he was alone in the dark leaning against the cold door when he returned to the apartment from Yongsheng Residence alone.
"But! Chu Jinjie! When I return this life to you, I will no longer owe you anything! My promise, my song, everything about me is that little wooden cart, I don’t owe you any of these anymore! I will use my life to return all of these to you, and from that night on, my life will no longer belong to you!”
"I live for Ah Yuan, I live for my fans, I live for all those who cherish me, and I live for myself!"
"But, Chu Jinjie, I will never live for you again!"
By the end, the voice had become hoarse and tearing. Every word was bitten extremely decisively, as if using all the strength of his whole body to block all his escape routes, and there was no room for turning around.
The tears that finally rolled down from the eyes seemed to be witnessing this eternal farewell. He Shushan turned around the moment the tears were about to fall, and quickly wiped away the hot and humid liquid with his hands. He is unwilling, and it is impossible for him to shed a tear in front of this man again!
The sadness and despair that had tormented him for several months, and the sharp knife that was sharpened in his heart every minute and every second, had already scarred his heart, and he could only maintain the most basic beating and pacing. And the love that he once thought was deep and strong, was buried in his heart forever when he felt the vitality gradually disappear.
A heart that is only barely able to sustain life has no possibility of loving someone again.
The silent atmosphere instantly enveloped the simple and clean ward, and the depression that seemed to freeze the air into ice weighed heavily on He Shushan's heart. His tears were still rolling down, but he stubbornly kept wiping them away, don't let that person see them, and don't let the tears fall!
This is his last dignity, and this is also the final answer to the love he has blindly given to himself for so many years.
The sound of the ticking second hand breaking the silence, Chu Jinjie's eyes were glaring blood red. He lowered his head and looked at the ground, and he didn't even have the guts to look up at the thin young man.
Every word that person said was like the sharpest sword, piercing his heart fiercely. He wanted to refute, but found powerlessly—this person was not wrong at all.
He is arrogant, he is rude, he is self-righteous, he is arrogant, he never puts anyone else in his eyes, and he even once thought that he would never fall in love with anyone in his life, including himself!
However, when he really left the hospital and saw the complete bloody scene that had been preserved.
It was only then that he discovered what kind of meaningless dignity he had been clinging to, and had built a tall tower for himself since he was a child. He stood alone at the top, enjoying the feeling of being the most human, but he didn't realize that he had been dragged into the mortal world by the person who had stubbornly climbed the tower for twenty years.
From the little boy when we first met, to the beautiful and delicate boy, until now, this stubborn young man who is turning his back to him, shrugging his shoulders without making a sound.
And Shu Shan really grew up.
But he has always been self-sufficient and self-confident.
What exactly is dignity
It was something that made him almost lose the person he loved the most in his life forever. It was something that made him hypocritical and arrogant for more than thirty years. It was something that was completely meaningless, but he once regarded it as Get something more important than the sky!
With a "bang," the sound of a heavy object falling to the ground came from behind He Shushan. His body was startled suddenly, as if he imagined what happened behind him.
Qing Ya's eyes widened suddenly, and He Shu Shan immediately turned around, his sight suddenly froze when he saw the man's straight spine, his body staggered, and his eyes widened in shock. Although he had already been mentally prepared, when he really saw this scene, he felt something collapsed in his heart.
Chu Jinjie lowered her head and knelt down in front of him in a humble manner.
Those knees that were so proud that they were unwilling to bend for anything were now completely close to the dust that this man once hated the most. Even though his waist was straight, he didn't have the cold and elegant appearance of the past. At this moment, the arrogant and indifferent man who has been trampling the world under his feet is as ordinary as any man who has made mistakes.
The man's tears fell drop by drop from the place covered by the hair.
He and Shu Shan couldn't see his expression clearly, but just looking at him from a distance like this, he felt a heart-piercing pain biting himself forcefully in his heart, and gradually, every cell in his body was It hurts to tighten.
"And Shu Shan, give me a chance."
With a hoarse and choked voice, Chu Jinjie lowered her head and said.
He and Shu Shan suddenly staggered two steps backwards, and they didn't stabilize their flustered steps until they retreated to the window.
No! This is not Chu Jinjie!
Chu Jinjie is that arrogant and indifferent man!
This man thought he had perfectly concealed the coldness from the inside out, but he had already seen through it.
He never knelt down to anyone!
He had never been so humble and small!
he even...
He Shushan's mind suddenly went blank, and his back was leaning against the window. The glass was scorched hot by the sun, and the warm temperature came through the fabric of Shu Shan's back, but it couldn't warm his cold heart at all.
I don't know how long it took before he suddenly let out a low laugh. The laughter was a little maniacal, but at the end it was extremely bitter: "Chu Jinjie, okay, I forgive you. From now on, we won't meet again. We owe nothing to anyone."
The straight spine shook suddenly, and Chu Jin's knotted hands clenched into fists, trembling all over. I don't know how long it has passed, and I don't know how long the air has been ice-clean. Even at the end, even Chu Jinjie didn't know how she forced herself to speak in a voice so calm that she couldn't even believe it: "No, He Shu Shan, you owe me, you will always owe me a debt." Life."
As soon as the words fell, Chu Jinjie raised her hand and smashed the glass vase on the small coffee table beside her, then quickly picked up a sharp piece of glass on the ground, and slid it towards her left wrist without any hesitation.
"What are you doing!"
He Shushan forcefully opened the sharp piece of glass, but only left a small bloody hole on Chu Jinjie's finger, with traces of blood leaking. Anger rushed into his heart in an instant, and He Shu Shan slapped Chu Jinjie hard and mercilessly on the face. The force made the latter tilt his body, and a trace of blood dripped from the corner of his mouth.
"How could you give up your life like this?! How could you..." He recalled Shu Shan's eager and frightened voice, before he finished speaking, he suddenly felt a strong force pulling him forward, and then moved forward Second-
He fell into that familiar and warm chest.
"Shu Shan, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you..." All she knew was that she simply murmured these words, as if she had lost all language functions, Chu Jinjie hugged tightly. Zhuhe Shushan's thin waist, with great strength, seems to want to embed this person in his arms forever.
He and Shu Shan listened blankly to the man repeating the simplest love words in the world in his ears. As if afraid that he would run away, Chu Jinjie used all her strength to hug herself into her arms, and the hot beating heart was really touching his chest through several layers of fabric.
"I love you."
The last sentence sounded like a cry, and He Shushan gradually woke up from that absent-minded state. He didn't move, just let the other party still hug him tightly, neither speaking nor struggling.
"You don't want me, you don't want to abandon me, you don't...you don't."
Listening to the other party repeating such words, He Shushan felt that his shoulders gradually became hot and humid——
It was the man's tears.
A bitter smile gradually appeared on He Shushan's lips, feeling the violent beating heart in the man's chest, as if he had been infected, the heart that he thought would never warm up again slowly and slowly Gradually beating enthusiastically.
After an unknown period of time, there was no sound in the silent room.
He Shushan slowly closed his eyes, finally raised his hands, and gently embraced the frightened and panicked man.
Feeling the other party's suddenly stiff body, feeling the strengthened arms around the waist, and Shu Shan shook his head slightly, a bitter and helpless smile permeated his lips again.
People who love more will eventually pay more and get hurt more.
He still couldn't bear it.
I can't bear to see this person die, I can't bear to see this person so humble that he gave up his self-esteem, and he can't even bear to... can't bear to make this person sad.
Outside the window is the blue sky where the dark clouds are gradually dissipating, and the bright and brilliant sunlight gently spreads its brilliance to the land, driving away all the cold darkness and bringing warmth back to the world.
His tenderness is like poison.
It flows in finely, but penetrates deep into the bone marrow.
Love and hate are hard to let go, and eventually they are terminally ill, and there is no cure.