After the plane landed in Beijing, Ye Fei waited for two hours before making a transfer and returning to his hometown.
From the tropical beach of 30 degrees to the cold north, I felt a little uncomfortable for a while. Especially a face in the mirror, like a layer of barbecue sauce, shimmering with honey-brown light. Ye Fei’s mobile phone is not enabled for international roaming. He used a local card when he got off the plane. After getting off the plane, he changed to the original number and walked in the airport.
Looking through them one by one, there are welcome messages from Beijing Mobile, various advertisements, invitations to old classmates holiday gatherings, etc., as well as notifications of missed calls. Among them is a foreign IP number, which has called her dozens of times.
Then popped out Xu Pengcheng's name and two text messages.
The first one reads: Sorry.
The second article says: Where are you? Need to talk to you.
The phone he bought in the United States could not input Chinese, Ye Fei knew, but still felt that these two lines were cold. She curled her mouth in disdain, trying to press the delete key, but her fingers were stuck on the keyboard, her heart sinking a little bit. She picked up her mobile phone and laughed at herself. Why did she just germinate when she returned to a familiar environment? I have been baptized in vain for more than ten days. Who said that travel is reborn, a liar.
It has been inconvenient to surf the Internet on the island. When he returned home, Ye Fei turned on the computer, and there was a friend request from Chloe on Facebook. Most of her pages were photos taken with students in the store, making various grimacing faces, and behind her was the dazzling sun and the white sandy beach. Ye Fei flipped through it, feeling like he had a dream. She couldn't help but open Xu Pengcheng's page again, it was surprisingly clean, and the double photo of the girl had been deleted. His status update still stays at the final exam in mid-December.
She was watching, the phone vibrated on the desktop, still the IP number. Ye Fei hesitated for a moment, then picked it up, the receiver was quiet, she choked on her chest, hung up the phone, and put the phone on the table again.
After a minute, the phone started humming again. She stared at the phone slowly rotating on the table, looked at it for a long time, and reached out to grab it.
The other party was silent for a few seconds and said, "It's me."
"I know." Ye Fei replied coldly.
"Where have you been this time? I have been looking for you for a long time."
Ye Fei snorted disdainfully: "Where does love go, can you control it?"
"They said that you have traveled abroad and cannot find you. I am very worried."
Ye Fei said sarcastically, "You have enough hearts, so worry about your own affairs!"
"I wanted to write to you, but I think I should call for this kind of thing."
She was angry in her heart: "Can you not choose to add to people's troubles during the Chinese New Year? I have nothing to say with you, and you don't need to write letters. I will treat you as if you don't exist.
"Ye Fei..." Xu Pengcheng sighed, "I was wrong. I am sorry for you. Give me a chance to explain, okay?"
She gritted her teeth: "If you have something to say quickly, if you have a fart, let it go."
"This time I went to Jamaica, not only the two of us, but a total of eight people."
"It's just four pairs, right?" Ye Fei smiled mockingly, "Eight people? Even if you go to 800 people, it won't delay you two, me and me."
"Ye Fei, I know you are angry, but you have to believe me, the two of us are not the kind of relationship you imagine."
"What have I imagined? What is the relationship between the two of you, eh?" She felt her hand trembling slightly, and she couldn't hold the phone. Parents were busy in the kitchen, Ye Fei turned around and brought the door to the room, turning the computer's music louder.
"..." Xu Pengcheng was silent for a moment, "Physical relationship."
Ye Fei was very angry: "It's not a Physical relationship. Are you still Chemical, huh?" She paused and took a deep breath. "Xu Pengcheng, so many people send blessings to you on the Internet, and I am not blind."
"She lives with another girl, and I live with Liang Kai. You know him. If you don't believe me, call and ask. That girl is very close to anyone who takes pictures, not just me."
"I won't fight. This thing is ugly enough, and you are going to harass your friends. You are not afraid of being ashamed, I am afraid! Do you dare to pat your conscience and say that you are innocent with that girl? The local guides can see that you are a couple. Tell me, you are nothing?" Ye Fei heard his voice become sharp, his heart beating violently in his chest, like a 100-meter dash. Song Xi's jokes echoed in his ears: "Too far away... You don't know men."
Xu Pengcheng paused: "She likes me, but..."
"It's just that she likes you? What are you doing to her?" Ye Fei said quickly and coldly interrupted him, "Go ahead, how far are you?"
"Ok?"
"I said, how far are you guys!" She gritted her teeth, "you can understand Chinese."
"You have to believe me... we don't have..."
"There is no home run, right? But, Hug, kiss, touch..." Ye Fei grinned, "Did you cross the last line? What's the difference, huh?"
Xu Pengcheng did not deny it.
"So, what else is there to say?" Two lines of tears fell, and Ye Fei's voice choked. "If you don't have her in your heart, you would be too rascal; if you have her in your heart, then, that..."
"You scold me. I was wrong. It's all my fault... But, Ye Fei, the person I love is really only you. I've already broken up with her, really. If you want to beat or scold, it's up to you. , Can you forgive me?" Xu Pengcheng's voice is dull, "I have a project on hand, I will go back to you when it is over. I have been thinking a lot during this period, the more I can't find you, the more scared I am. I am confused, you Give me a chance to make corrections, okay? I swear there will be no such thing again in the future."
"Did you think of me when you were happy over there? You said you would come back in the summer to discuss marriage, do you remember? It's like a pretty glass, you broke it, now say it, stick it up Give it back to me. Maybe you have good craftsmanship and it can still be used to drink water, but it is awkward in my eyes. I would rather throw it away." Ye Fei took a deep breath, "Xu Pengcheng, you are the first day you met me?"
"It's all my fault." Xu Pengcheng's voice is low, "I know you can't listen to anything now. If you want to scold me, you can scold me. But I won't give up."
"I don't have the strength." Ye Fei said tiredly, "If you really feel sorry for me, please let me spend a good year!"
He cut off the phone, his chest was like a needle prick, and his body was still shaking slightly. Ye Fei sat down on the chair, covering his eyes, tears streaming down his face. In these tears, not only the sadness and sadness of being betrayed by Xu Pengcheng, but also the resentment and helplessness, she did not dare to look in the mirror, for fear of seeing a hideous face. I just heard my own voice, bitter, mean, resentful, and stern. It was such a strange, bloody wound in my heart. I thought it would be healed in more than ten days. It was really naive.
The sky is high and the sea is wide, the clear water and the white sand, seem to be a dream brought about by anesthetics. After waking up from the dream, real life is still cruel and heartbreaking.
Ye Fei was about to shut down the computer, and the mailbox prompts that he received a new letter-"Greetings from an'old' friend". The person who wrote the letter was Paul, a diver in his seventies. He has just finished his one-month travel in Southeast Asia and returned to his home in Europe. He talked about several islands he had visited along the way, saying that his favorite dive shop was Scuba Libre because, “because everyone there is happy, sincere and friendly, and loves their work from the heart”.
There are two photos attached to the letter, both of Ye Fei’s work in the dive shop: one shows her exhausting all her energy carrying a gas cylinder, grinning, with distorted facial features; the other shows her standing in front of the dive site and answering. Customer's problem. In the upper left corner of the second picture, there is a small figure. That was Chen Jiajun, standing on the corner of the platform, his body facing the sea, but his head turned and turned to Ye Fei's side. He frowned, as if she would sternly scold her whenever she made a small mistake.
"A durian." Ye Fei murmured, thinking that he should really tell him his description of him. Even if he is so far away, how can he help me? Thinking of Chen Jiajun's clenched brows and the helpless look, the strained heart just loosened a little.
He said that the past will always pass.
She opened Facebook again, but did not look at Xu Pengcheng's page again. Chloe posted a photo of dancing and dancing underwater, saying: "Happy Chinese New Year." The picture marked all the Chinese she knew, including Ye Fei, Zheng Yunchang and Chen Jiajun.
Ye Fei sent a friend request to Zheng Yunchang, then moved the mouse to KCTan's name, thought about it, and clicked on his page. He has not disclosed much information to the outside world. The cover is a vast sea of smoke, with thick water vapor, steaming clouds, and a gray-blue hue like ink. And his profile picture is a scene where he meets a huge manta ray head-on during underwater photography. He raised the camera, covering most of his face. The manta ray with a wingspan of five or six meters is like a volley bird, standing up in front of him, with a thick black back and a white belly, as if dancing lightly.
Zheng Yunchang quickly passed Ye Fei's friend request, and Wanpeng, Yinda and others also sent messages. Only Chen Jiajun remained silent. Ye Fei made a face at the screen, if you don't add me, I won't add you.
After looking at everyone's photos, my mood calmed down a lot, and the tireless rustling of the waves seemed to sound in my ears. Ye Fei touched her face, the tears on it had dried up, she took two deep breaths, opened the door and walked out of the room.
This Chinese New Year holiday is going through awkwardly, and it is inevitable that Xu Pengcheng will be asked about it when relatives and friends have a gathering. During the winter vacation of his senior year, he came to Ye Fei's house for New Year greetings. Even his grandmother asked, "Where is your little friend, will he come this year?"
Ye Fei's mother said: "You forgot, he went to the United States, the vacation time there is different, now school has started."
Grandma seemed to understand, nodded and said, "That's it."
When encountering a similar moment, Ye Fei inevitably felt depressed. Fortunately, Xu Pengcheng didn't call again. She occasionally felt frustrated, but she did not fluctuate in great compassion. She also knows that good things don't go out, but bad things spread for thousands of miles. There are some things that family members don’t know, but among classmates and friends, there may have been a lot of rumors.
After the winter vacation, when I returned to school, I always felt that there was some inquiry in the eyes of my side. When I talked about relationship problems, my friends stopped talking and were cautious. Ye Fei didn't have much desire to talk, and he didn't want to find a close friend of the same enemy, and complained to Xu Pengcheng in tears. Walking on a familiar campus, it is inevitable to recall the scenes of love and dependence in the past. She didn't have the heart-piercing pain before the holidays, or the distressing resentment in her heart, but she became dull, occasionally irritable, didn't want to cry or laugh.
At the beginning of the new semester, the tutor, Professor Lu, interviewed several graduate students to remind everyone to determine their research direction, and to prepare for the graduation thesis next year, pave the way and accumulate. Ye Fei was perplexed, and kept nodding without saying much.
Among the several boys in the same group, some only knew that Ye Fei’s boyfriend was in the United States, and did not know that the two-person relationship Hai Shengbo, after coming out of the office, he followed her and asked: "Ye Fei, you said you thought Are there any more specific ideas for studying aging? I also think this direction is good. It should be fairly easy to apply for going abroad."
"No." She replied dullly.
"No idea or not easy?" The boy smiled and said to himself, "I think social work is also good, but after checking, it is a vocational education in the United States, and doctoral programs are not easy to apply; the direction of demography is very broad. Moreover, it is flexible, social or economical, and it is relatively easy to apply. Have you asked if there is one in your family, how about the recent admission of related majors?"
"No question, I don't necessarily apply."
"No, you still have a way back, we can't." The boy half-joked, "Even if you can't get an offer, you can go to the U.S. and let Xu Pengcheng support you. Their electronics department job is pretty easy to find."
Ye Fei glared at him. The girl Zhao Xiaoting and Ye Fei who came with me had a good relationship, and said to him: "You are a big boy, and you are going to gossip about it, so you can find out what you want to apply for and what to apply for."
"Hey, isn't this an exchange, see if Ye Fei has any first-hand news!"
Zhao Xiaoting held Ye Fei, held her head against her, and whispered: "Don't listen to him. If you want to apply, you can apply, and you can work if you want to work. What does it have to do with them?"
Ye Fei curled his lips and smiled helplessly: "You have all heard of it."
"What I heard, it's all rumors." Zhao Xiaoting said, "It just depends on your recent state. I am a little worried."
"I'm much better now." Ye Fei rubbed his face, "I cried, cried, and hung three times. I didn't do anything."
"I'm afraid you will suffer from depression."
"Fortunately, fortunately, it's all over." Ye Fei squeezed out a smile, "but it is unlikely that I will get up so quickly, let me adjust and adjust."
After lunch, Ye Fei took the book list drawn by his tutor to the library, and passed by the student activity center. There were dozens of booths of student associations lined up, each showing their magical powers, and new publicity was in full swing. Ye Fei joined the animation club and the badminton association when he was undergraduate. After graduate school, he was lazy and no longer keen on mixed clubs. But the crowds on the street were so turbulent, she had to slow down.
A few students in traditional Southeast Asian costumes stood in front of a booth, including Ao Dai from Vietnam, Sarong from Malay, and Kabaya from Nyonya. The display board read "Southeast Asian Cultural Exchange Association". As soon as Ye Fei stopped, there was a leaflet in his hand.
"Are you Chinese students or international students?" she asked.
The girls looked like the second and third grades of undergraduates, giggling: "Both." In everyone's babbling replies, Ye Fei knew that international students had won support from embassies of various countries and organized various cultures on a regular basis. Activities, there will be a lecture tonight.
The leaflets were stacked by Ye Fei and the book list. She sat in the study room of the library for an afternoon, choosing four or five books, always thinking about whether to continue to apply for going abroad. Judging from the previous situation of the same major in this school, it is not easy to apply for a full scholarship. Before, Xu Pengcheng said that it does not matter if the application is unsuccessful, at least there is a marriage escort to guarantee the bottom. But Ye Fei still enrolled in the English class and took the TOEFL and GRE exams. She wanted to apply for the scholarship with her own efforts, so that the financial pressure on the two people would be less. If she can't apply, she doesn't mind going abroad as a student, it's better than looking at each other half a distance away. But now, the biggest motivation to go to the United States is gone, and it has even become her sad place, but everyone around has seen her actively preparing, and now giving up, does it mean surrendering? Regardless of feelings or future, they are defeated.
Ye Fei was swollen with thoughts, and she couldn't enter the reference book. She happened to see the flyer when she was packing her things. She glanced at the title-"The Social Changes of Indonesian Chinese from the Study of Names".
Not many people came to listen to the lectures, and many of them seemed to be international students. The speaker is a researcher with a Fujian accent. Starting from the history of Chinese voyages to Southeast Asia, the Indonesian government's attitude towards China has changed in different periods and under the international situation, interspersed with the characteristics and composition of the names of Chinese Indonesians.
"I was born in Jogyakarta (Yogjakarta). Chen Jiajun is my Chinese name, but Sukanta Hartani is written on the passport."
I remembered the sentence he had said. At that time, I didn't hear the pronunciation of the Indonesian name, let alone the spelling.
At this time, the researcher happened to give an example: "Use the second or third scale in Indonesian, and keep the family name, such as Lin, change to Halim, Salim; Chen, the southern Fujian accent is pronounced Tan, changed to Hartani."
On the projection screen, the PPT showed a comparison between Indonesian Chinese names and Indonesian names. There was a line in the middle that read "Chen Jiacong" impressively.