At the ferry outside Beijing, when I boarded the boat, the people from the Xu family just arrived. The boatman dared to disobey, and was about to stop the boat when I seemed to hear someone calling: "Three joys!"
I jumped and jumped into the river.
The water in the river was extremely cold and bitter. I looked at the bottom of the river, it was dark, and it reminded me of the well in the courtyard of the Shen family. Was it like this there? Extremely cold and bitter.
Until I woke up, looked around quietly, went around, and I returned to the original place.
The Xu family locked me in the courtyard behind the ancestral hall. This place has always been used to detain those who committed serious mistakes in the family and waited to be punished. Although I was imprisoned, I was not treated harshly. The cost of food and clothing was not much different from the past. Except for a deaf-mute servant, I didn't see anyone again.
Eight days later, Xu Yanqing returned to Beijing.
That day, just after dawn, I was already sitting on the head of the bed. The dumb slave came in, waited for me to wash and change clothes, and then led me to the inner hall step by step.
A door in front of him was slowly pushed open, the door and window there were covered, and faint light penetrated through the window paper, forming mottled and interlaced phantoms. In the inner hall, there are no elders of the Xu family, nor the master and wife of the Xu family. Here, it's just me and them.
The three of them sat on three sides, regardless of the top. When I got to the center, I stuck to the hem, stretched my legs apart, straightened my back, and like them, bent my knees calmly and sat on the ground.
Xu Yanqing was directly in front of me, Xu Changfeng was to the east against the light, and Xu Qihe was to the west.
It was silent.
Shaoyan, that deep and hoarse voice sounded from the east of me: "Shen's Jingting Pavilion."
I didn't move at all, only slightly opened my lips: "Yes."
"On August 11th, you left the Xu Mansion without telling anyone, and you didn't return for ten days, so there is nothing wrong with it." His voice was as calm as stagnant water, without a trace of waves.
I replied: "Yes."
Xu Changfeng said again: "On August 21st, you were at the ferry outside Beijing because you intended to leave Beijing."
I replied: "Yes."
Xu Changfeng asked: "So, you did escape from the house privately." He paused for a few breaths, "Your intention was voluntary, or you were instigated or persecuted by others."
"I escaped from the mansion privately out of my own volition." I said word by word, "I was never urged or forced by anyone."
Almost following my next sentence, he asked aloud, "Then why did you leave without saying goodbye?"
There was silence all around.
I looked straight ahead, unbiased, with an expression as indifferent as dust. Xu Yanqing stared silently. He was originally full of vigor, but now he is as calm as stagnant water. He asked, "Where are you going by boat?"
"The pipeline is easy to cut, but the waterway is difficult to track." I said slowly, "Wherever you go, it is better than dying here for nothing."
Although my eyes are on the front, I am actually looking into the distance, as if everything here has nothing to do with me. They also have nothing to do with me.
"The meaning of your words is that I'm afraid... I, Mrs. Xu, will implicate you in the future."
I looked at him, nodded lightly, and replied, "Yes."
Xu Yanqing thought that she never expected that I would be so frank.
"I don't believe it," he said.
Hearing this, the corners of my mouth twitched, I couldn't help it, and let out a laugh.
The pair of sharp eyes in front of me looked at me suddenly, as if they wanted to dig a hole in my body.
"As we all know, the Xu family is in dire straits now, but it's just barely holding on for a while. Now, the emperor is seriously ill, and I'm afraid he can't wait, and he will attack the Xu family sooner or later. The three young masters are gone. Those in the Xu mansion The servants, walk secretly, flee secretly—" I said in a calm tone, "Of course, I have to plan for myself."
Xu Yanqing looked at me intently, without blinking, as if looking at a very strange person. He opened his lips and said in a cold voice: "The kindness of a drop of water will be reciprocated when a spring springs up. These years, the Xu family has given you status, wealth and glory, and has never been shorter than you. Even if there is such a day, Do you really think that the three of us will watch you suffer innocently..." Xu Yanqing seemed to be trying to bear it, but her hands were already clenched into fists.
He looked at me stubbornly, gritted his teeth and said: "But, Shen Jingting, you absolutely shouldn't, you should never say goodbye!"
"Second Young Master." When I called him that, Xu Yanqing paused suddenly, narrowing his eyes, and asked quickly: "...what did you call me?"
"Second Young Master," I called him again. Then, he glanced at the other two indifferently, "Eldest Young Master, Third Young Master."
"Could it be that you are in such a hurry to get rid of us...!" Xu Yanqing thumped the case heavily.
"The three young masters are all the proud sons of heaven. They have strong bones. They would rather lose their heads than to preserve their integrity." I ignored him and said to myself, "But I am not."
"I, Shen Jingting, am just a lowly concubine from a side branch of the Shen family. How many of you know, what is a lowly concubine?" I couldn't hide a sarcastic smile in my eyes, and said, "My birth mother is a dancer, and I can't read big characters." One, and I grew up in the back house since I was a child, with short-sightedness and only fighting for food and clothing every day. When I grew up, I hooked up with servants and servants all day long."
"As I am like this, I don't know what etiquette is, and naturally I don't know what kindness is a drop of water, let alone reciprocating kindness."
"Back then, the reason why I married into the Xu Mansion was purely for status, wealth and glory. I didn't expect that in just two years, this huge Xu Mansion would be exhausted. I, Shen Jingting, are just a covetous person who fears death. But without the iron bones of our disciples, why don't the three young masters see it for the sake of their husband and wife relationship in the past two years..."
I quietly said softly: "Give me a way out."
At this time, a series of low coughing sounded, low and long, as if lingering in my heart for a long time, and could not go away.
"You said that you ran away from home because you were greedy for life." The voice was as angry as silk, "If it's because of this, I won't blame you."
Xu Qihe's complexion was ashen, and his lips were scarlet like blood: "But you are away from home, and you can only spend a few taels. If you are greedy for glory, why don't you have any valuables on you." He said one sentence at a time, "You say If you don't know how to repay your kindness, you should have left half a year ago, so why delay until now."
"You said you were afraid of death, so why would you rather jump across the river than beg for mercy when elder brother arrived?"
"Did you die because you were afraid of being implicated by the Xu family, or because..." Xu Qihe's chest heaved violently, and with blood in his mouth, he said in a trembling voice: "Even if you die, you don't want to stay by our side."
I slowly closed my eyes, and a tear fell on the back of my hand. I looked at it blankly, and suddenly smiled knowingly.
"That's right." I said, "Even if I die, I don't want to stay by any of you again."