When the black cat appeared outside the house, it almost attracted everyone's attention.
I heard someone whisper: "It's the cat that suddenly appeared on her shoulder three years ago."
In fact, it was more than three years, but the black cat had no physical body before that, and it would only be loud in my head.
As for the physical appearance of the cat, I seriously doubt that it refers to the animal image I like.
Not to mention, as far as the world consciousness is concerned, he is still very professional as a cat.
The black cat landed lightly, and placed the number taking machine on a short wooden stake outside the door.
According to my plan, this wooden stake was originally intended to be used to fetch wood and chop firewood by myself, just like those hermits in the movie.
But after actually trying it out, I think super powers are more useful, why do I have to swing the ax so hard, I'm not good at using cold weapons.
So the wooden pile became a decoration, and it has not been used for three years and one day after calculation.
The height of the wooden stake is very subtle, and the number-taking machine is placed on it. If you want to read the user guide or take a number, you have to squat or bend down, which looks like bowing.
I found it very interesting at first, and after watching two groups of people bow with relish, I suddenly realized: Damn, why does this look like they came to say goodbye to my funeral with flowers
Bah, bah, bah, I won't really die if the world is destroyed.
It's okay if I go to their mass funeral.
Hey, if you think about it carefully, you can have this.
When the universe is destroyed, I'll see how to have a funeral that isn't ostentatious, and even full of maddening celebratory atmosphere.
The black cat put down the machine and left, and no one dared to stop it—the world was going to be destroyed, who had time to take care of a kitten that seemed to have some problems.
The emperor's guards were the first to check the machine, but even though he was known as "the most fierce man in the empire", he didn't dare to touch it, and only reported the rules I wrote on it to His Majesty the emperor.
"He said, 'Go get the number, you can't force your way in'."
"The chancellor asked 'what about every multiple of five?'"
"Everyone is silent."
"Someone in the Federation said, 'Let the death row inmates go, they don't deserve to die anyway'."
"The emperor said 'maybe she was joking'."
"Your ex-boyfriend said 'look at what she did to Xiaoyi, she's not who we knew'."
"Stop." I made a stop gesture with a headache, "What are you doing?"
"Real-time broadcast." The black cat sat on the edge of the window sill, shaking its slender tail uprightly, "Because you look very boring—someone is going to get the number, and the emperor ignored others to stop him and took the first one."
I am not surprised. The "rules" clearly stated that as long as it is not a multiple of 5, at most it will be rejected, and there is no danger to life. According to the emperor's principles of life, he will definitely choose to "lead by example" to show his courage.
"Everyone breathed a sigh of relief." The black cat described in a sticky manner. "Number two is your former mentor, number three is your former partner, and number four is your ex-boyfriend. Well, now none of them Moved."
I was studying the new language center module on the table while waiting, but after a long time there was no sound, I was a little impatient: "And then?"
"No one moved." The black cat said innocently. "They are making eye contact. I will read their thoughts."
"Don't," I stopped it immediately, "I still have to eat."
I don't want to know what thoughts are going on in their minds, anyway, it's "I can't die, how can I escape this crisis openly without damaging my image?" or something like that.
It may also be that at this moment when everyone is about to die, they are still thinking about internal fighting.
After all, what the heck, fighting with others is a lot of fun.
I had a sudden thought: "You said, if I asked them to vote for the one hundred people who were the most sorry for me, and then executed the hundred people in place, I would consider their request, would they bite the dog? "
The black cat speculates reasonably: "There may be a fifth wave in the war between the Empire and the Federation."
I imagined it in my mind and felt a little happy.
If I had known it earlier, I would have written this rule on the number-taking machine.
Because no one was willing to take the fifth number for a long time-apparently no one wanted to die before the others-I chose to go to sleep at noon.
When I woke up, the black cat said, "They're fighting."
My eyes were sleepy: "What?"
Black Cat: "The Empire and the Federation are fighting over the monopoly of number-taking machines."
I slowly put out a question mark, and every day I woke up, I found a new mental retardation: "How to monopolize?"
"The Empire believes that it was instigated and coerced by the Federation three years ago before agreeing to expel you. As a member of the registered status, the Federation has no right to expel the citizens of the Empire from the territory of the Empire, and the instigator is the Empire."
I stretched my waist long and said, "Elijah, have a cup of coffee."
Elijah happily mews to take orders, which is what he does best.
After all, when it was still an artificial intelligence, it often brewed virtual coffee for itself.
"Now the empire has sent troops to surround the machine to prevent the federation from approaching." The black cat continued, "The two sides occupy each side and have fought twice. You haven't seen the special effect scene of them throwing skills at each other."
"I'm the master of CGI, okay?" I said without hesitation, "My skills are cooler than all of them, and you can't do anything with my skills."
Black Cat: "..."
Black Cat: "By the way, the former emperor of the empire is also here."
I tried my best to recall the former emperor. I can’t remember the name anyway. The main thing is that I remembered that he was fat in middle age and a bit Mediterranean, and he was the main force who expelled me three years ago.
The last of the three questions was asked by him himself.
"When you took away my feelings, didn't you take away your memories?" I was puzzled.
I didn't pay much attention to it for three years, but when people popped up one by one, I started to feel that something was wrong.
—How come I don’t even remember a person’s name or a specific face!
"If you don't think it's important, of course you will forget it very quickly," said the black cat.
It may be that my expression is still full of doubts, so it gave me two more examples: "Scrambled eggs with tomatoes, with sugar or without sugar? Yangzhou fried rice, with green onions or without green onions?"
My DNA suddenly moved!
In a world that is facing the crisis of destruction every few days, it is conceivable that the economy and people's livelihood are not developed.
The food culture is almost gone, and now the mainstream housekeeping robots—the kind that the emperor said he would give me a few days ago—can only cook Western dishes, hamburger pasta and so on.
Most people still find it troublesome, and basically rely on a tube of nutrient solution to live.
See how a life without entertainment can easily lead to perversion.
"So that egg... no, what did the former emperor come for?"
"I apologize to you," said the black cat, "he brought the podium."
I slowly made a question mark.
Originally, I didn't plan to call the number manually today, but the former emperor with his own podium made me a little interested.
I flipped through it, found out the number that the former emperor's valet had assigned for him, and summoned it remotely.
Then I saw through the window a huge metal podium being slowly moved closer, stopped and landed about 20 meters away from my hut.
It's not the kind of podium that teachers used to teach in elementary school, it's the kind of dance that goes around giving speeches before the presidential election of country X... No, the podium is thirty meters long, and it can almost hold a concert on it.
I feel very speechless, this is probably the ostentation of death, after death, even if you burn paper, you have to burn an underground inflation for him.
After the podium landed, the former emperor, wearing a red cloak with a white edge and a light gold crown, came slowly, surrounded by guards!
Here he is, the ex-emperor who was so grand and grand, his feet are windy, his posture is calm, and he waved to the nearby cameras one by one, smiled and nodded.
Only a few beauties hung Wia beside him and scattered flower petals for him.
I couldn't bear to open the door: "I only allow one person to come in."
Several guards surrounding the former emperor in a defensive posture fell in response, and the muscular strong man made a loud bang when he hit the ground without any response, almost scaring off the crown on the former emperor's head.
Fortunately, he didn't bow his head, and supported me again, forcing himself to nod to me calmly.
Before he got on the podium to read the speech that someone had written for him, I said first: "Quiet, let me speak."
The former emperor closed his mouth resentfully.
A few cameras around him turned to me silently, and it was probably broadcast live on Interstellar again, maybe trying to use public opinion to punish me.
But as long as you think about it carefully, you will understand a truth: if you have no conscience, others cannot condemn your conscience; if you have no morals, others cannot morally kidnap you.
So I let them go and said slowly, "Are you going to apologize? Where I used to be, there was one of the most sincere ways to apologize. The story starts many years ago..."
I vividly told the interstellar people the story of "pleading guilty to a thorn" and watched the former emperor's face change from apprehensive to blue and white.
There was no one around, and the closest to me and the former emperor were the unconscious guards, and other people in the two camps in the distance who might be using various technological means to watch the live broadcast.
But in the silence, the ex-emperor's heavy breathing when he was driven to a dead end was so clear and loud.
"Maybe there are no thorns here, but there is a forest over there. There are many thorny trees in it, so you can get local materials." I kindly reminded, "Oh yes, according to the regulations in my house, if you want to take off your clothes, you must carry at least six thorns. , is a sincere apology."
The former emperor trembled his lips, as if he could roll his eyes and pass out in the next second.
"You asked me to offer thorns, please use thorns to flog me?" He asked angrily.
"No, I haven't finished yet," I said lightly. "Those who are tied with thorns have to kneel and wait, and they cannot get up until they are forgiven."
"Kneel... kneel..." The former emperor trembled even more.
"Yes," I repeated with a low laugh, "kneel down."
As soon as the words fell, the former emperor knelt heavily on his knees with a plop.
I:"… "
The former emperor: "..."
The black cat turned to look at me.
"Look at that!" I said angrily, "Can't you tell if I use or not? He was so scared that he knelt down, okay?"
Black cat: "Meow."
"Now you know how to meow like a cat! You're not Elijah! This is all your mess!" I got even angrier, "You clean up this pile of garbage!"