Du Jing's kiss on his face brought Zhou Luoyang back to his long-term memory in an instant.
They both drank a lot that day. In the ears are Fang Zhou, Fang Zhou's little boyfriend, and the crazy coaxing of the two couples.
"Kiss one, kiss one, kiss one!"
"Kiss one! Kiss one—"
It was obviously true, but it was played into a big adventure. Zhou Luoyang finally took Du Jing's shoulder, laughed, and forcibly kissed him.
Du Jing's expression was calm and composed, and he could not see any embarrassment or embarrassment.
It was after the New Year, the end of the winter vacation, the spring of school, the alternation of winter and spring, and the warmer weather. Du Jing's condition seemed very unstable.
Spring is a high-incidence period for patients with mental disorders, and Du Jing has been showing good times since the beginning of winter, which makes Zhou Luoyang very worried.
Du Jing was so silent that it was almost terrifying—even if the medicine had not been discontinued in the spring, he would not go to class, nor would he go to the archery club, nor would he wander outside at night, or even go out. Zhou Luoyang's suggestion of going out to play doesn't work, and every time Du Jing's answer is "I don't want to go".
Zhou Luoyang had no choice but to not force him to "catch his emotions".
But he had to pay attention to Du Jing's movements, for fear that something would happen to him alone in the dormitory, so he could not go to class or try his best to accompany him in the dormitory, bring him back with meals, and observe his movements.
In the end, Zhou Luoyang felt that it was not the way to go on like this, and tried to ask Du Jing if he wanted to drive to Taihu Lake with Fang Zhou and a few friends.
After all, Fang Zhou suggested once during the New Year that he can go out to play when he is free. This kid always does what he says and never speaks politely.
"Go if you want," Du Jing finally replied, "I'll be your driver."
At that time, Fang Zhou was studying photography at the China Academy of Art in Hangzhou. He changed his fourth boyfriend and decided to go on with this object. By the way, he officially introduced the little boyfriend to his best friend Zhou Luoyang.
So Zhou Luoyang set off together with Du Jing for a three-day and two-night outing.
But it turned out that this was Zhou Luoyang's overthinking. Du Jing was very cautious. In front of Zhou Luoyang's friends, he behaved like a normal person. The male and female couples who studied sculpture and painting in the Academy of Fine Arts chatted normally, remembered their names, and faithfully played the role of a boy with few words.
Fang Zhou rented a four-bedroom family villa on the edge of Taihu Lake, and Zhou Luoyang and Du Jing slept in a big-bed room at night.
But what worried Zhou Luoyang was that after Du Jing's daytime communication, when he returned to his room and fell asleep, he returned to the state of not saying a word in the bedroom.
"Are you all right?" Zhou Luoyang said.
"A little tired." Du Jing stared at the ceiling and stopped answering Zhou Luoyang.
Zhou Luoyang already regretted it. He vaguely felt that he might have made a mistake, but he didn't know what to do. A normal person, faced with such a long-term low pressure, might not be able to bear it long ago, and would be driven crazy sooner.
"If you're not feeling well, go back first," Zhou Luoyang said, "or should we play by ourselves?"
Du Jing shook his head, turned over, and fell asleep with his back to Zhou Luoyang.
Zhou Luoyang restrained his urge to chat with him. When getting along with Du Jing, the biggest obstacle was often not whether the two sides could compromise each other's decisions or proposals, but:
He didn't know what Du Jing was thinking.
After changing ordinary friends, communication is a necessary mode of getting along. But Du Jing was ill, and Zhou Luoyang could not use the model of getting along with Fang Zhou to set him on Du Jing.
He vaguely noticed that Du Jing didn't like this kind of travel, but he didn't know what the problem was. Rather than playing by himself, Zhou Luoyang hoped that Du Jing would have an opportunity to come out and breathe some fresh air, at least not to stay in the dormitory all day, sitting in a daze.
Sometimes Zhou Luoyang is also very annoyed, and when his patience is always weakened, he also wants to vent and find something outside himself to destroy.
Fortunately, he is a person who is open-minded by nature. From childhood to adulthood, the speed of digesting negative emotions is faster than anyone else. Ten minutes later, Zhou Luoyang returned to normal, checked the medicine that Du Jing brought, and confirmed that he was indeed taking it every day.
Maybe wait until the weather is warmer and it will be fine after summer. Zhou Luoyang thought to himself.
Du Jing had to drive during the day and might be a little tired. Zhou Luoyang decided not to disturb him anymore.
The next day, Zhou Luoyang slightly changed the itinerary, acting alone with Du Jing, and did not say whether he would join Fang Zhou and others for dinner.
They sat by the lake, Zhou Luoyang played with his mobile phone, Du Jing stared at the lake in a daze, and sat for a whole day.
"Have you changed the stage?" Zhou Luoyang raised his head from his phone.
"I don't know." Du Jing finally replied.
Zhou Luoyang felt that this might be the beginning of communication, at least Du Jing was willing to speak.
"Have you been feeling a little uncomfortable recently?" Zhou Luoyang asked again.
"Sorry for ruining your spring outing." Du Jing stared into the distance.
Zhou Luoyang smiled and said, "I actually don't like playing with so many people. Fang Zhou is too noisy. I just want to ask you out for a walk, that's fine."
Zhou Luoyang picked up a stone, got up and hit the water, the stone bounced, leaving a series of ripples on the lake.
"You're angry." Du Jing said.
Zhou Luoyang said, "I didn't."
Du Jing: "You're angry, I know."
Zhou Luoyang insisted: "I really don't have one."
Du Jing said calmly, "You are angry, I feel it."
Zhou Luoyang suddenly felt that there was no need to deny it, and simply said honestly: "Yes, I do have a point. In fact, it is me who should apologize."
Du Jing said, "You go back first, leave me alone for a while, and drive the car away."
Zhou Luoyang had a bad premonition, for fear that Du Jing would do something irreversible, which was beyond his ability to handle things. He was a little overwhelmed for a while. According to the logic of their relationship, he should say "OK" at this time, and then do as Du Jing asked.
But what if he drives the car away and leaves the lakeside area, what happens to Du Jing
He insisted on staying, but he was afraid that Du Jing's situation would get worse. After getting along for a long time, Zhou Luoyang knew very well that his physical strength was not Du Jing's opponent at all, and once there was a situation, he could not be held back.
Call Fang Zhou and ask them to come over? Or call the police? They were afraid that it would further stimulate Du Jing's mental state, so Fang Zhou and the others would all know about Du Jing's illness.
After a short thought, Zhou Luoyang replied, "Then I'll go to the other side to see? I won't disturb you, you can leave whenever you want."
He left the lake, went around to the other side of the lake, looked at Du Jing from a distance under a tree, and confirmed that Du Jing could not see him.
After four o'clock, Du Jing disappeared.
Zhou Luoyang suddenly became nervous and confirmed that he hadn't heard the sound of water just now. Where did he go? He immediately got up and looked around for Du Jing's whereabouts, but did not shout in a panic.
After searching for a full fifteen minutes, Zhou Luoyang felt flustered and turned around and almost bumped into Du Jing.
Du Jing said, "Go back."
Zhou Luoyang breathed a sigh of relief, did not blame him, and said, "It's alright, you go and continue to sit, I just want to come back to you suddenly."
Du Jing replied, "Let's go together."
Thank goodness, Zhou Luoyang was about to collapse, and these fifteen minutes were the longest time in his life. If time could be reversed, he would definitely not have made this suggestion three days ago, but fortunately God has mercy, the test is over. It may not only be a test for Zhou Luoyang, but also a test for Du Jing.
On the way back, even if Du Jing didn't speak, his expression seemed to improve.
On the night of the end of the trip, Fang Zhou opened a bottle of gin, and Du Jing handed over his glass.
Zhou Luoyang said: "Fang Zhou don't let him fall."
Du Jing: "Drink a little."
Zhou Luoyang: "I have to drive back tomorrow..."
"Let me have a drink!" Du Jing's tone was a little heavier.
Everyone laughed, and Fang Zhou's boyfriend said, "Luoyang is like Du Jing's girlfriend, and he even lets him drink."
Zhou Luoyang had no choice but to give up, and gestured towards Fang Zhou. Fang Zhou felt that the two might have quarreled, so he felt less.
"Let's play the truth," Fang Zhou's boyfriend suggested, throwing the mahjong dice on the coffee table.
Fang Zhou was naturally very supportive. He put one hand on his lover's shoulder and said, "What's the topic?"
"'An important person'?" said the boyfriend.
Zhou Luoyang glanced at Du Jing. Du Jing was drinking at the table, but after hearing this, he sat over and sat beside Zhou Luoyang. Every time Zhou Luoyang plays this game, he finds it very boring. When he came home for the new year, before Du Jing came, he also played with a few classmates.
When Zhou Luoyang arrived, he said every time, "There is no one who is very important to me and will be etched in my heart."
This is indeed his sincere words - Zhou Luoyang seems to be able to get along with everyone with ease, but under the influence of his original family, it also causes him to deliberately not rely too much on anyone.
The divorce of his parents made him never believe that marriage and love are indestructible vows. The fact that he has not been accompanied by his family for a long time, and that most of his family relationships are maintained only by blood, also makes him always believe that time goes by on the road of life, and everyone comes and goes. , all are passers-by, each person can only accompany him for a short distance, and the only person who really accompanies his life is himself.
But that time ago, when he said the words "no important people", for some reason, the person who thought of was Du Jing.
"Do you play too?" Zhou Luoyang asked.
"Play." Du Jing asked Fang Zhou to pour the wine again, Fang Zhou smiled and said, "I can't give you a drink, otherwise I will be scolded by Luoyang."
However, Du Jing took the golden wine bottle and poured a lot.
"Does Brother Jing have a girlfriend?" a girl laughed.
Du Jing said, "You can ask later."
Zhou Luoyang said: "Are you going to introduce him? I know what type he likes. Let's talk about it in private."
Du Jing glanced at Zhou Luoyang and said, "When did I say it? I'm getting impatient, so you want to quickly dump me on someone else?"
Zhou Luoyang thought for a while and replied, "I guess."
The crowd laughed, and Zhou Luoyang jokingly said, "I know what Du Jing thinks."
Zhou Luoyang had no intention of saying this. Sometimes he also wondered, if Du Jing's illness was cured, what kind of person would he marry and fall in love with? Maybe someone smart, kind, generous, and patient? Only such an object can understand Du Jing and discover his brilliance.
"I'm sick," Du Jing said suddenly. "The doctor told me not to fall in love and marry for the rest of my life. I have a genetic disease and disfigurement, so I'd better not harm others."
When these words came out, everyone was a little embarrassed, even Zhou Luoyang was the first to hear Du Jing say this.
Fang Zhou said, "It's okay to DINK, but most of them don't want to have children."
"And you're also very handsome." Fang Zhou's boyfriend said.
Everyone laughed, and a boy knew it was time to end the topic and said, "I'll throw it to whoever it is. I'll throw it first."
The dice went round and round, and many people were hit. Zhou Luoyang doesn't care about other people's thoughts and past, or the most important person in their life. Those are the stories of others. For the parties concerned, family affection, friendship, and love may be unforgettable. Listening to the ears of strangers, These stories are really lackluster.
But Zhou Luoyang discovered a very realistic thing - in the truth-telling session, when boys mentioned "the most important person in life", they were all first loves.
Even Fang Zhou was not spared.
After the two girls were cast, the person who was talking about was the current one, that is, their boyfriend.
"'Once', 'Once'," Fang Zhou emphasized, "it's the past."
"Five minutes ago was in the past. Twenty-four hours ago was in the past, okay?" a girl retorted, "Why can't it be him?"
Fang Zhou played a clever trick to avoid being turned over by the incumbent. After his boyfriend invested, he was also talking about his first love.
Zhou Luoyang smiled and felt that this topic was very realistic and also very sad.
Du Jing: "It's my turn."
The dice stopped, and Du Jing hit Zhou Luoyang.
"Well..." Zhou Luoyang thought for a while.
"Don't ask," Fang Zhou said, "Luoyang's answer is the same every time, throw it to you."
Others didn't know Zhou Luoyang's answer, Zhou Luoyang changed his mouth and said, "Is it Du Jing?"
Du Jing seemed to have something to say, but did not speak. Zhou Luoyang smiled and said, "Don't you believe it?"
"No," Du Jing replied, "I believe everything you say."
"Wow—" The crowd immediately booed.
Zhou Luoyang didn't want to say more, with a little reproach in his eyes, looked directly at Du Jing, meaning: You have really tormented me these days.
Du Jing suddenly said: "Because of responsibility, or feelings?"
Fang Zhou: "???"
Others don't understand, but Zhou Luoyang understands what Du Jing means: Do you care so much about me because you feel responsible for me, or do you really think I am important to you
This made Zhou Luoyang a little angry, but he didn't have time to think about the more meaning behind it. They were both a little drunk. Under the influence of alcohol, people always say some unintelligible words.
Let him vent. Zhou Luoyang thought to himself that it would be a good thing for Du Jing's emotions to be released occasionally.
"What you want is what you want." Zhou Luoyang replied bluntly.
At the end, he added another sentence: "I tell you not to drink."
There was a strange silence in the living room, and no one spoke. Zhou Luoyang threw the dice and turned it a few times. If he hits the repeater, he will start the next round, and Du Jing, who was not hit in the first round, even escaped.
The next round will continue the first topic and go deeper, nothing more than "how far have you and this person developed?"
But when the dice stopped, Zhou Luoyang just hit Du Jing.
"Yo—" Fang Zhou smiled, "Not a single one escaped, it's your turn."
Zhou Luoyang also guessed at the beginning, who would be the most important person to Du Jing. He didn't think it would be himself, but he didn't mind.
Saying he didn't mind, he should still be a little disappointed in his heart. Zhou Luoyang couldn't help but start thinking about a question he had never thought of before, and reconsider his relationship with Du Jing.
Will they part one day? Will they go their separate ways from now on, like all college roommates, after these four years of college? If the relationship is good, at most, make occasional calls, take care of each other, notify Du Jing to be his best man when they get married, and drift away, like a stranger...
"This person is Zhou Luoyang." Du Jing's voice interrupted Zhou Luoyang's trance. He raised his head, turned his head slightly, and glanced at Du Jing who was sitting beside him.
"Zhou Luoyang is the most important person in my life," Du Jing said seriously. "It used to be, is now, and will be in the future."
This is no less than a confession of love. Zhou Luoyang did not expect that Du Jing would retell the topic in a serious manner. Even if it is between the same sex, it is really annoying to talk about such love. No.
With a "wow", everyone's emotions exploded, and they shouted with alcohol.
Fang Zhou became restless immediately and became jealous on the spot, saying, "What do you mean! Luoyang is mine!"
Du Jing: "It's mine."
Fang Zhou: "It's mine!"
"It's mine." Du Jing reiterated seriously to Fang Zhou.
Fang Zhou lost his temper: "We have known each other since kindergarten! Fourteen years!"
Everyone laughed, and Fang Zhou's boyfriend immediately said, "Kiss one!"
Zhou Luoyang's face was flushed, and everyone did not expect that on this spring night, it was actually a friendship between two straight men who played straight balls recklessly.
"Kiss one!" Another girl said immediately.
"Kiss one, kiss one, kiss one!"
"Kiss one! Kiss one—"
The "truth" that Zhou Luoyang said that night, for a long time later, he could not tell whether it came from the sincerity. But what people say unconsciously and without thinking is often the truth that takes root in the sea of subconsciousness.
But it is too difficult to truly know and understand yourself, and this process has taken too long.
On that spring night, Zhou Luoyang leaned on Du Jing's shoulders and forcibly pulled him over and kissed him on the face amid the "kiss one" booing and laughter.
Just like many years later, on the night of the move, Du Jing kissed Zhou Luoyang.
The bitter smell of gin, and the sweet smell of rum, flowed endlessly, flowing through the night of bright lights, and merged into the rushing river of time.