Du Jing flattened the photo, still put it back in his wallet, and continued: "When my father came to Madrid with my mother, he promised her that she could marry another person. The only condition was to let him see my stepfather with his own eyes."
Zhou Luoyang said, "they hadn't divorced yet?"
"No." Du Jing said, "After arriving here, he soon regretted it. He made a lot of noise at his stepfather's house and wanted to die together, and was finally sent away by them."
"Are you there?" Zhou Luoyang asked.
"Of course," Du Jing said, "Our family came to Madrid together."
Zhou Luoyang: "…"
Zhou Luoyang didn't know how much psychological shadow that scene brought to Du Jing. His father and mother were about to divorce, but the father still brought the child and came to Europe with his wife.
"Later he returned to China?" Zhou Luoyang asked.
"No," Du Jing replied, "they put him in a mental hospital. Three days later, in the church next to the hospital, my stepfather and my mother held a wedding, the church we passed by just now. Move to Granada."
"What did he do during his lifetime?" Zhou Luoyang asked again.
Now he can naturally chat with Du Jing about his past. With another person, he may be careful not to touch on some things that Du Jing doesn't want to mention, but Zhou Luoyang knows that for Du Jing, they don't need too much a lot of scruples.
"Poet." Du Jing said, "I went to see him later, bipolar disorder, and was misdiagnosed as schizophrenia. My mother's infidelity aggravated his condition. Of course, I can't blame her, he didn't want to. Divorce...both alcoholism and domestic violence. Every time they took me to visit him in the hospital, he wrote on the walls in the ward and walked around."
Zhou Luoyang said: "The scene is a bit scary. What did those poems write?"
"Chinese, nonsense words," Du Jing said, "I don't understand, he is indeed a lunatic."
"He wanted to die, but they wouldn't let him kill himself or let him out. He just wrote his poems all over the glue wall and smiled at me."
"The smile is very strange. He told me that this ward will be reserved for me in the future, and I must come to live in it. He is now me in the future. We are actually the same person."
Zhou Luoyang: "..."
Du Jing said: "For a six-year-old child, the impression caused by that scene... is not easy to describe. So I don't really want to laugh. They all said that I resembled him. I also discovered that the smile of a mental patient must be Terrible."
Zhou Luoyang put his hand on the back of Du Jing's hand and clenched it slightly.
Du Jing pondered for a moment, and then said, "Afterwards, he died inexplicably and peacefully. After they went to dispose of the body, I went in and took a look at the ward where he stayed. The hospital is repainting the walls."
"I won't let you be sent to that kind of place," said Zhou Luoyang, "no matter what happens."
Du Jing snorted and said, "If someone comes to arrest me, please let me hide in your house. Give me a basement, put an iron chain around my neck, and send me water and food every day. If someone asks, you Let’s just say that there is a grumpy dog in the basement, and being your dog is more dignified than going to a mental hospital. This is my last wish.”
Zhou Luoyang smiled and patted Du Jing's head: "I will take good care of you and promise not to be discovered by anyone until you die naturally."
"Alright?" Du Jingman said casually.
"Well, we agreed," Zhou Luoyang replied, "I will always remember it."
Du Jing hugged Zhou Luoyang's waist from behind and let him lie in his arms halfway, and the two listened to the sound of the rain quietly. Zhou Luoyang was filled with emotion for a while, he knew that his promise was very pale, but no matter what he promised, Du Jing would seriously believe it. Or to convince yourself of wishful thinking before being thrown away.
But how long can one person take care of another person? He once felt that his father was very tough, and he did not hesitate to tear his face with his grandfather, but also to marry that Japanese woman, which broke his mother's heart even more. After remarried, he thought his father had finally found true love. But when I went to see him, I found out unexpectedly:
They look like that.
He couldn't feel the depth of love between his father and his stepmother, and at home in Tokyo, they couldn't speak a word or two all day. My father leaves early and returns late, often returning home at 2:00 in the middle of the night, which is not as good as the original family.
Du Jing was silent for a moment, then suddenly said: "Even if I know you are lying to me, I am very happy at this moment. I don't know who you will be in the future. Your future girlfriend must love you very much."
Zhou Luoyang laughed, grabbed Du Jing's hand that touched his face from behind, and said, "Hey, don't mess around. Your mind is a little dangerous."
Zhou Luoyang and Du Jing were together in the bedroom day and night, and they were used to making innocuous jokes occasionally. But this was the first time he felt that Du Jing actually reacted to the boy.
He knew that Du Jing's hormones were quite strong, which was determined by his condition. The manic phase will make the body hormone imbalance, and the body and the skin are in frequent contact, even if the other party is of the same sex, there will be a reaction.
But they rarely talk about sex on weekdays. Zhou Luoyang didn't find that Du Jing likes to solve it by himself, let alone watch small movies.
"I'm sorry," Du Jing apologized immediately, "that's not what you meant."
Zhou Luoyang raised his hand and touched Du Jing's head, Du Jing hugged Zhou Luoyang like this, quietly watching the rain outside.
Zhou Luoyang: "I actually don't have much vision for marriage and family, maybe it's because of my family of origin."
Du Jing said: "But you are still in love. When you think of which girl becomes your girlfriend in the end, you have to give her all your time. With your character, you will definitely take care of her and care for her. It makes me feel so uncomfortable."
Zhou Luoyang said easily: "I don't want to fall in love yet, I think... um, that's fine."
Du Jing said: "Of course she may be more jealous of me and think you care more about me than she is."
"It's different." Zhou Luoyang felt that he needed to reassure Du Jing, so he thought about it and said, "I don't really want to fall in love before graduation. Let's talk about it after graduation."
Du Jing said, "If you want to talk, talk about it. Don't care about my feelings. I'm very happy to meet you. You know I never mention this to anyone, and I'm not good at expressing it."
"I know." Zhou Luoyang nodded, knowing that Du Jing was simply afraid of losing him, because Du Jing chose not to get married. Once Zhou Luoyang had a girlfriend, Du Jing would be truly alone from now on.
"I want to kiss you, nothing else." Du Jing finally said.
Zhou Luoyang saw that in Du Jing's family, when his stepfather received guests, even if he was of the same sex, he would always kiss each other generously and naturally.
Then, without waiting for Zhou Luoyang's permission, Du Jing kissed his ear.
When the rain stopped, Du Jing returned to the side of the road, tried to start his car, and returned to normal.
This passage is Zhou Luoyang's deepest memory of Europe. Later, the whole journey was very hot, and they didn't stay for too long. They only stayed in Europe for ten days before returning to China.
Zhou Luoyang suddenly felt that maybe Du Jing was the one who would fall in love. Although he said he would not get married, he needed a family and the warmth of his family too much. Because of the lack, so obsessed.
As for his condition, as long as the other party fully understands and knows about it, and is willing to accompany him, what is the problem? Du Jing is still very attractive. He is a down-to-earth and responsible big boy with a good personality.
But what caught Zhou Luoyang off guard was that his hunch came true so quickly.
As soon as the sophomore year started, someone confessed to Du Jing that he was still a boy and their junior brother, but that was another story.
Zhou Luoyang took off his earphones, covered in sweat, knocked on the door, pushed open the door and went in to see Du Jing's situation.
Du Jing lay silently on the bed, with an empty medicine bottle on the bedside table.
Zhou Luoyang's color changed instantly, he stepped forward to look at the medicine bottle, and said in a trembling voice, "Du Jing, Du Jing!"
Du Jing didn't speak, just stared at the ceiling quietly.
"Du Jing!" Zhou Luoyang shook him, and instantly fell into fear.
He hugged Du Jing's waist, listened to his heartbeat, and said, "What medicine did you take, Du Jing? Du Jing, please, answer me quickly!"
Du Jing still didn't speak, Zhou Luoyang couldn't stop shaking his hands and couldn't even hold the medicine bottle.
He forced himself to be calm, he had to be calm, and after a full 30 seconds, he could see the words on the medicine bottle - it was the antidepressant medicine that Du Jing often took. He didn't know what would happen if he ate so much at one time, whether he needed to be sent for gastric lavage, but the top priority was to send him to the hospital immediately.
"Where's the doctor's phone number?" Zhou Luoyang trembled, went to look through Du Jing's bag, and suddenly realized a problem. He always felt that he knew Du Jing enough. However, when the accident happened, Zhou Luoyang realized that he was right Du Jing's situation is completely ignorant.
He didn't know which hospital Du Jing was in for a follow-up visit after returning to China, nor the phone number of the attending doctor, or even what his condition was.
Zhou Luoyang gradually calmed down and said in a low voice and haste: "Du Jing, it's alright, you will be fine... Let me find your attending doctor first..."
Zhou Luoyang found the only phone number in Du Jing's wallet - however, it was Zhou Luoyang's own phone number.
After a moment of silence, Zhou Luoyang knelt by the bed, held Du Jing's hand, and began to call Fang Zhou to ask if his uncle knew any psychiatrists in Wan City. Fortunately, Fang Zhou didn't ask any more questions and said, "I'm going to get in touch, do I need to hurry?"
"It's urgent." Zhou Luoyang said.
"Don't hang up." Fang Zhou said.
Zhou Luoyang buried his face in Du Jing's hands, praying in his heart, and hearing Fang Zhou's rapid typing, a moment later Fang Zhou said, "I sent you the address, it's near your house."
"I've moved," Zhou Luoyang looked at WeChat and asked, "Can I come to the door?"
If he didn't call an ambulance, he really couldn't take Du Jing there.
"Let me ask." Fang Zhou was silent for a few seconds and said, "Okay, you can send me your address. If there is no traffic jam, you will arrive in 20 minutes. Do you need me to come?"
"No need," Zhou Luoyang said, "I'll call you if there is any situation."
The twenty minutes waiting for the doctor was like a century. Zhou Luoyang lay on the bed and hugged Du Jing, who was silent. Du Jing didn't speak or move, only the slow rise and fall of his chest caused by his breathing, told Zhou Luoyang that he was still alive. alive.
The doorbell rang, and the doctor finally came.
Zhou Luoyang finally caught the life-saving straw and watched anxiously from the side. The doctor first checked Du Jing's pupils, and it seemed that he had experienced many similar things. Then he looked at the medicine bottle and asked, "Do you have any medical records?"
Zhou Luoyang said: "I look for it, I don't know how many medicines he took at a time."
He found Du Jing's medical records, and the doctor rolled his eyes and said, "The stage has changed."
Zhou Luoyang said, "Do you want to send it for gastric lavage?"
The doctor said, "It's better to take it to the hospital. I'll call a car."
"What kind of hospital are you?" Zhou Luoyang said, "is it a mental hospital? Sorry, I don't know..."
"Seventh hospital, he is my patient." The doctor said.
Zhou Luoyang almost cried, closed his eyes, and said, "Thank God, it's a coincidence."
"Psychological closure caused by depression," the doctor explained. "Give him a different medicine and infusion. What is your relationship with the patient?"
Zhou Luoyang blurted out without thinking: "Family, I may have accidentally stimulated him while chatting today."
The doctor finished the phone call and said, "Let's observe the situation first."
Zhou Luoyang almost begged: "Will he get better?"
The doctor said, "I can't say for now. If there are no special circumstances tonight, it's not a big problem. You have to accompany him from now on."
Zhou Luoyang knew that doctors, like lawyers, would not give him a positive answer, but he said this to make him not worry.
"Come on, pick him up first." The middle-aged doctor was very calm and said, "There shouldn't be much medicine left. If he takes it every day, he doesn't need gastric lavage. Does he take it every day?"
"I don't know," Zhou Luoyang said, "he said it himself, he ate it on time every day."
Zhou Luoyang didn't even pay attention to whether Du Jing took his medicine on time every day. He asked Du Jing more than once about this matter, and Du Jing's answer was that he took medicine on time.
"How can this be?" The middle-aged doctor began to educate Zhou Luoyang and asked him to help hold Du Jing.
"I have a wheelchair at home!" said Zhou Luoyang.
"You have to supervise him..." said the middle-aged doctor, "...this guy is quite heavy."
Zhou Luoyang took Du Jing's arm and put him in a wheelchair. The ambulance came quickly and took them to the hospital, during which the middle-aged doctor kept explaining to Zhou Luoyang the precautions for taking care of depressed patients.
"Why did he suddenly take so many medicines?" Zhou Luoyang asked the doctor after Du Jing was injected with a little tranquilizer and fell asleep.
"You have to use his logic to understand." The middle-aged doctor said.
"He felt that he had turned into depression. In order not to let you find out, he wanted to suppress the disease, so he took all the remaining drugs at one time. In his understanding at that moment, the drug was equivalent to direct treatment, and overdose was equivalent to The condition was controlled in an instant. Then, in order to spend this time temporarily, he tried to give himself psychological suggestion and closed off communication with the outside world."
"Really?" Zhou Luoyang said, "It's like this... It's better like this... He didn't suddenly want to commit suicide, right?"
The doctor seemed to want to ask Zhou Luoyang what happened to the two of them before, but finally held back.
"Lovers, family," the doctor said, "you need to be patient with someone with bipolar disorder."
The doctor re-educated Zhou Luoyang about what Uncle Fang Zhou had said. It seems that they also understand the pain of their families, but for Zhou Luoyang, he can no longer listen.
He held Du Jing's hand all the time, looked at his closed eyes, looked at his handsome face, the scar was especially conspicuous in the dim light of the hospital, which made him feel even more sad.
After the doctor left, Zhou Luoyang whispered again: "Du Jing, I'm sorry. That sentence, and the last half, it's just me... "
"I know." Du Jing closed his eyes, finally said the first sentence, and put his hand lightly on Zhou Luoyang's head, and said in a low voice, "It's the same sentence as what I wanted to say."
Zhou Luoyang finally breathed a sigh of relief.
When Du Jing regained consciousness that night, he still had to close the door. The doctor didn't teach him a lesson, and gave him the medicine again, and Zhou Luoyang didn't say anything about "it can't be like this again in the future", because Du Jing didn't want to torment him.
"I'm sorry." Until the next evening, when Du Jing returned home, he suddenly said something.
"Don't do this." Zhou Luoyang smiled hard and let go of Du Jing's hand. He was able to walk on his own, but due to the overdose of medicine, it would cause him a little dizziness. The doctor's suggestion was to sleep slowly and slowly recover.
Zhou Luoyang opened the door, and when he entered the house, he suddenly found out that Le Yao was actually at home!
"Le Yao?" Zhou Luoyang realized that the doctor came and went out in a hurry yesterday, and the house was in chaos.
"Where have you been?" Le Yao asked in surprise, "I thought you guys went out to play, did you have dinner?"
Du Jing stood for a while supporting the shoe cabinet, still dizzy.
Zhou Luoyang asked Du Jing to sit down and changed his shoes. Le Yao glanced at the tape on the back of Du Jing's hand after the infusion, and his eyes were full of doubts.
"No." Zhou Luoyang said, "Why did you come back early? Don't say a word."
Le Yao replied: "The temperature suddenly dropped, it's too cold, everyone suggested to go to Aaron's house to play, I didn't want to go, so I came back." Said Bi he rocked his wheelchair to the kitchen and said, "I'll make dinner."
Du Jing sat in the hallway in a daze, and Zhou Luoyang asked him to enter the room to rest. In the bedroom, Du Jing suddenly said, "Le Yao came in."
"He thought we were at home." Zhou Luoyang replied, "Do you want to take a bath?"
Du Jing shook his head, sat beside the bed, stared at his watch, he used to take it off and put it on the bedside table on non-working days.
He thought about it for a long time, and finally, without speaking, put the watch in the drawer of the bedside table and locked it.
Zhou Luoyang was starving, hungry, tired, and dying. He didn't think much about the meaning behind what Du Jing said. From the next day, there was a low air pressure in the house - Du Jing was silent all the time, he didn't eat breakfast, he just sat on the sofa in a daze.
Le Yao was a little frightened, but still tried his best to pretend that nothing had happened, and didn't dare to speak more.
Zhou Luoyang said to his younger brother, "It's okay, Du Jing is just a little uncomfortable, just let him stay by himself."
"He can't think about it, right?" Le Yao said to his brother, obviously guessing what happened last night.
Du Jing's depressive episode this time was more serious than any other time. Zhou Luoyang said happily: "Just treat him as not here, and don't talk to him. Otherwise, if he wants to answer you, it will make him feel more tired. "
Le Yao nodded and said, "But if he doesn't eat or drink, does he have to think of something?"
Zhou Luoyang thought that if it really didn't work, he could only take him for an infusion, but he tried it.
"Is it okay to sit here?" Zhou Luoyang moved a small sofa and faced the floor-to-ceiling windows. Outside the window was the rare blue sky of Wanshi. Cooked a bowl of oatmeal in glucose and kept it on hand.
Du Jing nodded and said, "Thank you, Luoyang, I love you."
Zhou Luoyang almost burst into tears when he heard this. He knew that Du Jing used his best efforts to break through the mental state of depression and respond to him, which was very difficult for Du Jing who was sick.
For the next two days, Zhou Luoyang and Le Yao lived and talked as usual. Du Jing was like a sculpture, sitting quietly in front of the floor-to-ceiling window. The two brothers did not deliberately chat with him until the day before the end of the holiday, when Le Yao left home. School.
Du Jing got better, stood at the dining table drinking milk, glanced at Le Yao, and said, "See you next week."
"See you next week." Le Yao smiled.
Zhou Luoyang called a car. After all, with Du Jing's appearance, he couldn't take Le Yao to school. When he sent him downstairs, Le Yao worriedly said, "Go back quickly."
Zhou Luoyang nodded and smiled: "You have grown up."
Le Yao hesitated before speaking, and finally said: "I... or I take a few days off? You can't take care of it alone."
Zhou Luoyang immediately said, "No, I can handle it."
Le Yao sighed, and Zhou Luoyang naturally knew what he meant—a patient was finally sent away, and there was another patient in the family. Le Yao just felt sorry for his brother and felt that he was too tired.
"It's nothing," Zhou Luoyang said. "It's a sweet burden. I'm willing to take care of you two."
"Then let's see you next week." Le Yao said, "You're going to Sotheby's, and you have to go to the store, right?"
Zhou Luoyang finally remembered that he had opened an antique shop.
"I'll try my best." Zhou Luoyang said, holding his forehead, "You too."
"You are like the sun," Le Yao said, "brother, you are too warm."
Zhou Luoyang sent his younger brother away and returned home to see the environment.
Du Jing finally survived the most difficult period. This time, the disease was menacing, more serious than the one in Hangzhou. But he survived with tenacious will as he was sitting at the dining table using his computer. Zhou Luoyang thought to himself, are you already preparing for work? Going to work tomorrow.
When he got closer, he found that Du Jing was flipping through the pictures of their previous life together on the computer.
"Where did you find it?" Zhou Luoyang asked anxiously.
"You still keep it." Du Jing said.
"Of course," said Zhou Luoyang, sitting beside him, "that was the happiest moment of my life."
Du Jing said, "Really?"
Zhou Luoyang replied, "Yes."
At that time, they took pictures in many places. Du Jing never liked to be photographed because of the injury on his face, but Zhou Luoyang wanted to keep the past. In the dormitory, after class, and when the two of them go out together to see exhibitions and travel.
After Du Jing left without saying a word, Zhou Luoyang chose to dust them all up and added a password to the folder, but Du Jing unlocked the password almost effortlessly.
Neither of them mentioned the password. Zhou Luoyang went to the hall, sat on the small stool, and brushed Du Jing the leather shoes he was going to wear to work.
"Have you read it yet?" Zhou Luoyang asked.
"I took so many photos." Du Jing said.
Zhou Luoyang said, "Should you take a bath?"
Du Jing's hair was messy, but it didn't look greasy. However, after returning from the hospital, he hadn't showered for almost three days.
"I don't want to move." Du Jing said.
Zhou Luoyang added: "You have to go to work tomorrow. You can't go to the company like this. I have to go to the store later. Let's go together and get some fresh air."
Du Jing didn't speak, but Zhou Luoyang pulled him up again, pushed him to the bathroom, and said, "Go, take a shower, take a shower."
This time Du Jing was very obedient, standing barefoot on the tiled floor and began to undress, but Zhou Luoyang followed.
When he was depressed in the past, Zhou Luoyang asked him to take a bath, and he could stand still in the bathroom for two hours, despite the water. Zhou Luoyang took the clothes and decided to wash with him, just like in the bathhouse that day.
He turned on the two bathroom nozzles, undressed himself, and stood with Du Jing in the hot water and steam.
"I'm fine." Du Jing lowered his head slightly, looked at Zhou Luoyang, and said seriously.
Zhou Luoyang replied, "I know."
The two faced each other frankly, Du Jing looked at Zhou Luoyang's body, but Zhou Luoyang was very natural and let him see.
"Boss, please raise your arm."
Du Jing raised his hands to shoulder height and placed them flat on the wooden shelf on the side of the bathroom, showing perfect abdominal muscles and waistline, and the muscular contours of his chest were full of tension. Zhou Luoyang wore scrubbing gloves and dipped in some shower gel to scrub his chest and lower abdomen.
"You're in good shape," Zhou Luoyang raised his eyes, looked at Du Jing, and joked, "It's the same as Luo Dan's sculpture, is it filming, boss? I promise you will become an actor once you take off."
Du Jing didn't speak, just looked at Zhou Luoyang quietly, his hair was wet and put between his eyebrows, he looked a little silly, like a loyal Gu Mu.