Conversations about transferring schools continued for a week.
As Jiang Xiaozhen expected, her parents did not agree with her going to a public school.
With the help of He Yu, from the moment she said that she wanted to transfer to another school, overwhelming pressure came to her, the self-blame of her parents.
What can be seen is the mother wiping tears; my father keeps calling, he boasted, and said that he would find a way about the money.
It is not directly seen, but comes from material compensation.
The big fish and meat bought with the borrowed money were only given to her to eat; the new skirts bought with the borrowed money were issued new cards; they carefully asked her what gifts the current students like.
Jiang Xiaozhen's eyes were dark.
The appeal that cannot be conveyed; the wound in the heart that tried to heal but was scratched again and again.
The next week is the final exam, and it will be impossible not to go to school—everyone knows it, including Jiang Xiaozhen.
The family tried their best to be nice to her and coax her to persuade her.
Silence is the wall she erected to fight back. In the soft and hard bubble, the wall is getting higher and higher.
Jiang Xiaozhen doesn't eat what her mother buys, doesn't wear the princess dress in the closet, and doesn't answer her father's phone calls. Facing her mother's crying, she closed her eyes, covered her ears, and sealed herself off.
At the end of the week, Xu Meiyin took out the two forms from Jiang Xiaozhen's schoolbag.
She sat next to her silent daughter and was on the phone with Jiang Yuan who was far away.
"Xiaozhen definitely wants to go to this school. She has an application form for class transfer and a student union cadre application form in her schoolbag. If the debt collectors hadn't taken our money, she would still be doing well in school now."
Jiang Xiaozhen bit her finger until the outermost layer of skin was broken.
"Yes," Jiang Yuan echoed: "We have borrowed money, Xiaozhen can continue to study. Don't listen to what He Yu said, transfer to public schools. Public schools are really good, why doesn't he go to school himself? ?”
She could taste the blood in her mouth, and her fingers were numb and painful. She knew that there were some words that even the closest family members could not say, because once said, it would be a permanent wound.
However, it was too hard.
Jiang Xiaozhen couldn't bear it any longer.
Her throat was dry, and she didn't speak for a long time. When he speaks, his voice is hoarse and his tune is broken.
She asked her parents, "Do you know what I want?"
Xu Meiyin looked at her, and the other end of the phone fell into silence.
"You don't know," Jiang Xiaozhen said, "because for a long time, you only gave me what you thought was good. You never asked me what I wanted."
"Am I going to go to this school, or do you want me to go to this school?"
"Am I going to wear a princess dress, or do you want me to wear a princess dress?"
"Do I want to eat the good things we can't afford, or do you want me to eat?"
"When I said I want to transfer schools, you misinterpreted that I was worried that my family would have no money. When I said that I don't need to buy skirts, you misinterpreted that I gave up my favorite things to save money for the family. I said that I would not eat those things, what do you think? I deliberately starved myself, lest you spend money."
"Actually, I don't need that much. Go to school, dress up, eat and live, those superficial things. But you have worked so hard to create this for me, and you want me to enjoy it. If I show that I don't need it, I feel ashamed I feel guilty for what you have done."
"Dad, Mom, is it me or you who care about having no money at home?"
Xu Meiyin started to cry again.
But this time, her tears did not stop Jiang Xiaozhen's mouth. She hardened her heart and wanted to finish what she wanted to say at once.
The matter has come to this point, and the water is hard to recover. Jiang Xiaozhen understood that hearing those words, her parents were destined to be sad. It's just that the three of them have escaped for so many years, and they can't escape anymore. They have to face this ugly scene together, even her, including her.
"You guys keep talking about the tuition fees of high-end private schools, and you want me to go back to study. How can I study? All I can think about is, when we are kicked out by the owner of the furniture store, where will we live next? Owe How do I pay back the money? Where will the money come from next time I’m called on?”
Jiang Yuan let out a long sigh: "Xiaozhen, these are not your business."
"Father," Jiang Xiaozhen interrupted him, "Can you get me out of our family's difficulties just by saying 'it's not your business'?"
"You never told me how much our family owed, and how big a figure it was. Because you thought I was young and I shouldn't worry about my family. You hoped that I would still be the little princess I used to be."
Wiping her face, Jiang Xiaozhen felt the wet tears.
She didn't want to cry, but she accidentally cried.
"I can't help thinking about this, Mom and Dad. There is no toilet where we live, and my mother and I have to walk a few hundred meters to the public toilet; we don't have a kitchen, and my mother can't eat enough, I heard her stomach growling; we There is no shower, and every time I take a shower, I have to mix hot water with tap water. When I take a shower, the water can’t splash out, as it will wet the floor of the room. I can’t help being frightened. You hit the floor; I couldn't help but feel out of place, not batting an eyelid when my schoolmates talked about their privileged lives and spending money."
Xu Meiyin held her daughter's face, feeling extremely distressed: "In the end, it's because I don't have money. If I had money, my daughter wouldn't suffer from these crimes."
"No," Jiang Xiaozhen shook her head heavily: "You still don't understand."
"The hardest thing for me is not that our family has no money and our life is difficult. The hardest thing for me is that I want to enjoy everything you have given me, even if I am not comfortable, even if I am full of guilt. Even if , I have already felt the pain, I still have to pretend like nothing happened, so as not to worry you, because I am the jewel in the palm of the Jiang family, your little princess."
With a bitter face, she said sorry to them.
"Mom and Dad, I can't help it."
"Being a princess is really difficult."
Picking up the powder blue lace skirt, she asked her mother to take a look at her.
Take a look at her face, her figure, and this dress.
"Mom, do you think I'm dressed appropriately?"
Xu Meiyin could no longer deceive herself.
It doesn't fit well, it's ugly.
If Xiaozhen doesn't feel happy, who is she trying to make happy with her appearance like this
Why have you been pretending not to see it all these years
Jiang Xiaozhen wiped her face clean, and then wiped away her mother's tears with a tissue.
She stopped crying, and there was no cry in her voice.
The Jiang family's daughter, she is much stronger than her parents imagined.
They get along day and night, but they seem to have only known her since today.
Jiang Xiaozhen hid her gnawed fingers, raised her head, and said, "I have long since ceased to be the domineering, carefree Jiang Jiamingzhen. I would be afraid, worried, and inferior. I also When I grow up, I can't turn a blind eye to the situation at home, and I'm indifferent to your contributions, so my heart is always restless... Back to the original question, Mom and Dad, do you know what I want?"
They listen to her.
For the first time after decades of giving without expecting anything in return, they waited, and listened, for her to speak her wish.
Jiang Xiaozhen smiled and said, "I want our family of three to be well."
The first column in Jiang Xiaozhen's mind, the priorities in her wishes, was never about her personally.
She loves her home, her family, more than the colorful world and all the glitz that is beyond reach.
…
The end of the winter vacation, the first week of school.
After school, He Yu met Jiang Xiaozhen at the school gate.
The chubby girl wore a simple ponytail, black-rimmed glasses, a gray school uniform with long sleeves and trousers, and a white scarf. She looked super warm.
Seeing him coming out, Jiang Xiaozhen jumped up and waved to him.
He Yu smiled at her, left his friend and walked towards her.
"Wait for me?" He thought about the reason why he could see her at this point, and that was the only reason.
"That's right, I'm waiting for you." Jiang Xiaozhen put her feet up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
He Yu was so crushed by her that he was about to fall down, and beat her with a smile to tell her not to mess around.
"The school uniform was just issued today. Take a look at my new school uniform. Does it look good?" She showed him her thick long sleeves and wide trouser legs.
"It's not bad." He Yu commented honestly.
Jiang Xiaozhen refused: "Quickly say it looks good, or your brain will collapse."
"Okay, look good." He raised his hands in surrender.
"Isn't it too perfunctory?" Jiang Xiaozhen said angrily, "I'll punish you for buying me Malatang."
He Yu refused: "I don't want it!"
"You want it!" She finished her slap gesture and locked his neck so that he couldn't move.
If He Yu didn't show off his power, Jiang Xiaozhen thought he was still the good puppy he used to be.
"Is this the attitude of begging for dinner, Jiang Xiaozhen?" He said coldly, his tone becoming dangerous.
"Boom!"
A brain collapsed, only to hear someone's hissing inhalation.
"Will you please?" Jiang Xiaozhen asked calmly.
"Let me think about it..." He Yu touched the sore spot, "Why do I feel my forehead is bleeding?"
"Let me take a look for you." Jiang Xiaozhen shook his head.
"My God," she exclaimed exaggeratedly, "you have writing on your forehead!"
"Huh? What what?" He Yu cooperated with her.
Jiang Xiaozhen frowned, looked at his forehead, and read every word.
"Jiang Xiaozhen, He Yu really wants to invite you to dinner, because I heard that if you don't invite me, she will play him again."
After reading, she looked at him.
"... Please." He Yu followed suit.
She took his arm and shouted "Yeah" in a bouncing manner.
While rubbing his head, He Yu was reluctantly pulled away by her.
His friends didn't mean to wait for He Yu, because the moment He Yu saw Jiang Xiaozhen, he told them: A friend came to see me, you go first, I'm with her.