Something is wrong with Wang Jiexiang recently.
She would stare at one place, her eyes would be empty, and she would suddenly start to lose her mind. Guang Yinxian had encountered it several times.
The first time, Wang Jiexiang was cooking porridge. Yin Xian smelled the burnt smell and found her sitting on a chair with her head propped up in a daze.
The second time, he picked her up from get off work, and she was gone after turning the corner. Yin Xian went back to look for her. She lowered her head and looked at the bricks on the floor as she walked forward, completely unaware that she was going the wrong way.
The first two times, he thought she was not feeling well, but Wang Jiexiang always answered him: no.
The third time, Yin Xian woke up in the middle of the night, and there was no one around.
Turning on the light, he saw Wang Jiexiang sitting in the corner of the bed with his knees hugged.
"Why don't you sleep?"
The light and his voice dragged Wang Jiexiang back to reality from a trance. She looked at him, her loose expression suddenly tightened.
"Where are you going?" She asked impatiently.
"I didn't go anywhere," Yin Xian wondered why she showed such an expression: "Did you have a nightmare?"
Wang Jiexiang shook her head.
She lay down again.
When Yin Xian fell asleep, she said something abruptly.
"Brother Xian, do you like me?"
He turned around and stroked her back a few times as if coaxing a child.
"Do you like it?" Wang Jiexiang's voice sounded sleepy.
Yin Xian sighed.
…
What he didn't expect was that Wang Jiexiang went to work with this state.
Yin Xian was startled when she heard the door open, it shouldn't be the day when she got off work early, she went home early.
Wearing the work cap of the seafood factory that she forgot to take off, Wang Jiexiang looked depressed.
He asked her what happened.
Clutching the backpack strap, Wang Jiexiang stammered.
"Sorting seafood today, I mixed up the good seafood with the two piles that were eliminated, and gave it to the customer without checking. The customer complained. The boss said I was absent-minded and asked me to go home and rest."
Yin Xian didn't comfort her.
"You are really absent-minded."
His eyes were cold, and he looked impersonal.
"Walk and think about your thoughts, and don't sleep at night. In this state, can you go to work and do a good job?"
Wang Jiexiang's mouth was flattened and gradually pursed into a straight line.
After a long silence, she spoke again.
"Brother Xian, do you hate me..."
"I asked you before, do you like me, but you didn't answer."
Yin Xian frowned: "Now I'm talking to you about your work."
"Well," she said with downcast eyes, "you're talking about work with me, I know. But I haven't been able to figure it out recently. I wanted to talk to you earlier, but you didn't want to talk to me talk."
"Wang Jiexiang."
He rarely called her by her first and last name, and her shoulders shook.
"You don't need to eat or have a place to live, but you can live on love, right?"
"If you are fired, where do you go to find a job? You know how hard it is to find a job. You have said that you have a junior high school diploma, a rural household registration, young age, and a girl. You can't get into a slightly better unit. Looking for seafood I have been looking for this job in the factory for a long time, you are very grateful to the boss for hiring you, they believe in you and give you a job, but you are slacking off, right?"
Wang Jiexiang's eyes were sour, and what he said hit her pain point, which made all the inferiority complex she had hidden in her heart come out.
She has been thinking hard for a while, why Yin Xian still doesn't share his thoughts with her when she asks again and again. Now what he said made her figure out the answer by herself.
"Yes, I have a junior high school diploma, I am young, and I am from a rural area. So you feel that I am stupid, so you don't want to say many things... I feel that I can't understand it."
Yin Xian's temples throbbed with pain.
"How did you get so far, are we talking about the same thing? I don't want to say anything anymore?"
She complained with red eyes.
"Simple 'do you love me, like me or not,' you never answered directly. What happened to you before, what is hidden in your heart, you would rather worry about it yourself than tell me and share it with me."
Wang Jiexiang held back the tears that were about to burst into her eyes, trying to keep her voice calm.
"If you are not unwilling to answer, I misunderstood you. Then, brother Xian, why do you think we should be together? I want to ask this right now."
He raised his eyes and stared at her, speaking smoothly and clearly.
"Because it makes each other's lives easier."
"Being with me makes your life inconvenient, so it's better not to be together."
Wang Jiexiang took a deep breath. The oxygen in the room was thin, but she inhaled so hard that the pain of lack of oxygen burned all the way to her lungs.
She was heartbroken by his words.
"Convenient? Where is it convenient? Someone to help clean and housework is convenient? Someone to cook and eat together? Or live with someone and the rent is cheap?"
She talked to this extent, but he didn't see him interrupting.
Wang Jiexiang's expression darkened a little bit.
The tears swirling in her eyes dried up at some point, and her voice became hoarse.
"Ah, I forgot, it was me. I said that at the beginning. We made an appointment at the beginning. I will bring you convenience. I also want to thank you for your kindness."
He didn't speak, let her keep talking, and let her emotions get out of control.
"I thought there would be something else these days when we were together. For example, I like it, I care about it, and so on... It turns out there is nothing."
The more intense the emotion Wang Jiexiang expressed, the more resistant Yin Xian's reaction was.
He stood aside with his hands folded, still frowning slightly, with no intention of communicating with her at all.
When she finished speaking, the room fell into silence.
The two of them stood face to face, and they were reduced to a situation where they had nothing to say.
Wang Jiexiang found it ridiculous. Yin Xian's appearance of staying out of the way was like a human being looking at a crazy dog.
She didn't think she was wrong either.
Work is important, and she can be responsible for her own work.
Their relationship is much more important to her than important work.
Is she being vexatious? She doesn't recognize it.
If she stayed in this house any longer, and wasted with the wood-like Yin Xian, Wang Jiexiang was worried that she would suffocate to death.
She wants answers.
It seems to want to know why he hates the hospital, it seems to want to know whether he loves himself or not, it seems to want to know what he is thinking when he wanders alone late at night.
Regarding the relationship between the two, she wanted a specific, specific answer.
Therefore, even though their feelings were frozen at the freezing point and on the verge of danger, Wang Jiexiang did not give room and room for relaxation. She stepped forward and continued to push it.
"When you said 'not together', you meant to break up, right
Yin Xian looked at her quietly.
Wang Jiexiang waited for five minutes.
She waited for him to speak for five full minutes.
She couldn't bear it anymore and rushed to the door of the rental house. Without shoes on, she rushed out the door.
In late autumn, Wang Jiexiang ran barefoot on the street.
She wandered around aimlessly, breathing heavily. The tears were well suppressed at home, and now they flowed down in one go, wetting her whole face.
I thought he would at least call her to stop...
Wang Jiexiang was not reconciled, and looked back in the direction of Yan's family.
It was getting dark, and she couldn't see the way at once.
The crowds of black gradually squeezed into the field of vision, and the direction of home was quiet, with no moving figures.
Wang Jiexiang really felt stupid now, very stupid.
He really doesn't love her.
She turned around and walked towards the main road wiping away her tears.
— Did you see him clearly? do you still love him
she asked herself.
Undoubtedly love.
But when this love was put into the current state of mind, she began to hate him again.
Yin Xian doesn't care about her love, doesn't care about losing her love.
Since her mother passed away, Wang Jiexiang felt homeless several times. She left her younger brother, grandmother and father, and ran from the countryside to the city. Yin Xian was not only her lover, he gave her a home.
How much she loves him, how much she cares about him, and how much she depends on him, is how much she hates him.
She remembered the first time they had a big conflict. He packed his luggage and wanted to leave. The fact that he could leave so simply meant that he had no nostalgia for their home.
Wang Jiexiang was very angry.
She counted Yin Xian's bad things in her mind.
Yin and Yang are strange, can't speak well, and are good at cold violence.
With strong self-esteem, I have never seen him subdued.
No demeanor, no emotion, always stern...
The city lights are on.
There was a bustling crowd of people coming off work, a young and beautiful girl without shoes was very conspicuous walking on the street.
Those who noticed her felt that she was not normal, and she shed tears like no one else, which made passers-by deliberately avoid her.
Wang Jiexiang herself didn't know how far she had walked, her stomach was growling with hunger.
Yin Xian's shortcomings are numerous, she counted them all. Wang Jiexiang couldn't remember how many times she turned her head. If Yin Xian came after her, all the shortcomings could be written off.
He didn't.
So she kept walking and counting.
The shops on the street were at their best time of business. Wang Jiexiang smelled a fragrance, and her footsteps were attracted unconsciously.
That shop is selling roast duck with beer.
The rotating ducks in the window are roasted golden and dripping with fat.
Sitting on the steps in front of the shop, Wang Jiexiang wanted to eat roast duck very, very much.
She has no money.
There is no Yin Xian behind her.
Smelling the aroma of roast duck, she couldn't help but imagine how happy she would be if she could eat roast duck...
Bought half a roast duck home, cut it up and served it on the table, and ate it with Yin Xian, with plump white rice.
While fantasizing, Wang Jiexiang scolded herself for being worthless.
Counting his bad can't wake her up, so Wang Jiexiang began to count Yin Xian's good.
What good has he done for her? She deliberately speculated in a malicious way.
Squeeze carrot juice... The company doesn't want the machine, and she doesn't like to drink carrots.
Take her to see a doctor... At that time, he scolded her for being stupid, and even yelled at her that she would not leave.
Wait for her to take a bath and pick her up from get off work... Yin Xian said that he was afraid that she would cause him trouble again.
Cook seafood porridge with the crab she brought back... He despises that crab, and cooks the porridge casually.
He took her to live in his house, helped her get her wages back, and handed her a paper when she was crying.
Wang Jiexiang couldn't think of anything malicious about these few.
In fact, she has to admit that she has received a lot of help from Yin Xian.
In fact, she still remembered how happy she was the night she was allowed to sleep in his bed.
In fact, she didn't want to break up.
It's just because she gave a lot and loved a lot, so I hope he cares about her and gives back love.
Why is he
What's wrong with him not loving her
Wang Jiexiang's tears were like pearls with a broken string. She cried until she didn't realize that she was crying.
Someone patted her on the shoulder from behind, and Wang Jiexiang turned around in astonishment.
It's a beer duck shop wearing an apron.
She folded her hands and said to her in embarrassment.
"Girl, go sit somewhere else, I can't do business like this."
Wang Jiexiang stood up quickly, bowed and apologized to her, and then hurriedly stepped forward to leave.
"Hey, girl." The shopkeeper stopped her.
Probably because she was alone, crying like pear blossoms with rain, and without shoes, she felt sorry for driving her away.
"Do you want to eat beer duck?" the shopkeeper asked.
…
Wang Jiexiang got a duck leg in a lunch box.
She didn't eat it.
She found her way home, she wanted to go home.