It took Yin Xian ten years to grow from a small company with ten employees to a large international engineering company.
At the age of forty, his career is in full swing, and he has everything that most people envy. There is no shortage of suitable partners around him, but he has no family and devotes all his energy to work.
At the age of forty-three, he felt that his memory had deteriorated.
At first, he thought it was due to age, stress, and exhaustion, and ignored it.
Gradually, he began to fail to recognize his friends, important business partners, remember work information, and talk about things he did a while ago.
Feeling oppressed and panicked deep in his heart, Yin Xian didn't stop to rest, and still put on the skin of a controller every day to deal with all his work.
Continuing in this state, one day, he woke up and found himself walking on the road in a suit and without shoes.
He had no recollection of how he got there after changing clothes.
Then, Yin Xian's condition deteriorated rapidly.
He couldn't go to work normally; then, he couldn't read, read, and calculate; and later, even the most basic daily behaviors, such as dressing, getting up, and brushing his teeth, had difficulties.
People close to him asked him to seek psychological counseling, but Yin Xian was unwilling.
The company is handed over to a trusted partner, and he retreats behind the scenes.
Hiding at home all day long, Yin Xian never went out again.
The soul is like being locked in a transparent glass jar. Although he can see the outside world, he can't perceive it and can't integrate into it. In this life, I kept my head down and ran forward, but suddenly I couldn't remember what it was for.
Friends sent him pets to accompany him, precious cats and dogs, talking parrots, rare turtles, fish, miniature pet pigs... Yin Xian refused to accept them all.
Until one day, he took the initiative to buy a rabbit.
It was an ordinary rabbit, white and shaggy, with a fat, silly face.
He didn't know why, so he felt that he wanted to raise such a rabbit.
Yin Xian called that rabbit Fatty. He liked the name very much, and it came to his mind all at once.
Because of Feifei's company, his mental condition has improved a little.
In this way, he lived in a daze until he was forty-seven years old.
One morning Yin Xian woke up and saw his rabbit lying motionless in its nest.
It died.
Suddenly hit by a stabbing pain, he couldn't describe what drained his spirits, in short, he fell down completely.
... Yin Xian was sent to the hospital.
He saved his life from the critical line of life and death, and then he was strongly advised to undergo psychotherapy.
After a doctor's diagnosis, Yin Xian was diagnosed with dissociative amnesia, accompanied by depression, and avoidant personality disorder.
The psychiatrist initially tried drug treatment for Yin Xian, because he had a long history of taking psychiatric drugs, and the treatment effect was not good. During the many internal meetings, it was difficult for the doctor to diagnose his cause. In the conversations, Yin Xian often repeated a sentence: "The fat is gone."
Fatty, the rabbit he raised.
It died at the end of its life, and it broke him to this point.
Yin Xian couldn't remember or describe more deep-seated traumas.
After much deliberation, in order to find the cause of the disease, the team suggested that he undergo hypnotherapy.
Yin Xian knew that there were only two ways in front of him, to end his own life, or to try this last hope.
Hypnotherapy, predictably, did not go well.
The therapist led him into the subconscious world, where still no valid information could be found. He believes that Yin Xian's traumatic memories exist in the unconscious world below the subconscious.
However, the subconscious Yin Xian refuses to enter the unconscious, refuses to visit the past trauma, even if the therapist struggles to build a guide for him, he is unwilling to trust it.
The treatment has hit a bottleneck so far, and Yin Xian's condition is getting worse day by day.
He relied on alcohol to numb the pain for a moment of peace of mind. He didn't know what he was looking for. After getting drunk, he folded the packaging of chewing gum into a paper crane, and wrote words on its wings stroke by stroke.
As he was writing, he had a splitting headache, and he crumpled it up again and threw it into a corner.
he doesn't remember anything...
The turning point came in the 23rd hypnotherapy session.
A new guide appeared in the subconscious mind. She sat on a paper crane and descended from the sky noisily.
The young girl had a fierce expression on her face. She stared at Yuanyuan and told him subconsciously viciously: She is his ex-girlfriend, her name is Wang Jiexiang, she was once bullied by him, and she is very angry now, she must let him think of her.
Then, in the six rooms, she went on a rampage and unlocked them one by one.
Waking up from the last hypnosis.
Staying unconscious for too long, Yin Xian has been lying in a hospital bed for several months as a vegetable.
After he regained his speech, a therapist came to take notes.
He was pleasantly surprised to find that Yin Xian's lost memories were all restored. This means that as long as follow-up treatment is followed up, he has a high chance of not getting sick again.
…
fifty years old.
Yin Xian lived half his life.
He suddenly woke up from a big dream, his body was empty, and he looked in the mirror, only to realize that he was old.
After finishing the psychological treatment, Yin Xian walked out of the hospital.
He walked down the street with his hands behind his back. A young couple passed by him, they were so close, the girl's hand was put into the big pocket of the coat by the boy, it was sweet.
The earth has got rid of the cold air of winter, and it is the season of spring.
Yin Xian went to the cemetery.
Among the many grids in the ashes depository, she occupies a small one.
The cleanliness of the staff kept the glass in front of her grid free from dust.
In the yellowed photo, the little girl who loves Jiao has been like a day for twenty years.
She was still standing in front of the Marriage Bridge, waiting for him to come, narrowing her crooked smiling eyes.
Yin Xian picked up the photo, wiped her face, looked and looked... slowly pasted the photo to his heart.
He remembered her.
Remembering her name, remembering that she likes rabbits; remembering her aggrieved question why the egg fried rice can’t be added with chili; remembering her happily holding the rabbit keychain and walking around the house; remembering the snowy day when she first met, she sat The rocking car in front of the supermarket, hearing Lu Binghua crying so sad...
Yin Xian thought, Jie Xiang would like to go back to his hometown.
She stumbled out of the mountains, but she still had a place in her heart for it. She misses her unrestrained childhood and her mother, and she yearns for the warmth from relatives that was never fully given to her.
Thus, Yin Xian came to Wang Jiexiang's hometown for the second time.
This time, with her.
He didn't drive, he took the bus like before.
The mountain road is flat and open, and as far as the eye can see, there is a pure fresh green in the mountains.
The old tree at the entrance of the village was full of foliage, and under the tree was an adult man holding a child. Yin Xian approached, and the man waved to him.
That is Wang Jiexiang's younger brother, Wang Jiehao.
Her father and grandmother are gone, and her brother is her only remaining next of kin.
Before coming, Yin Xian managed to contact him and explained his purpose of coming to him.
The last time he saw Wang Jiehao, he was a little boy.
Now, he is married and has his children.
Yin Xian brought him some presents, but Wang Jiehao accepted them unceremoniously.
Jie Xiang was buried next to her mother's tomb by Yin Xian.
The place where she rests is a place with a wide view, and you can see the mountains, a whole stretch of green mountains.
Yin Xian let Wang Jiehao go first.
He sat by her grave and stayed with her for a while longer.
When leaving, Yin Xian remembered the way down the mountain.
He would come to see her often, seeing that he could no longer walk.
When she came, she was holding the jar, but now her arms were empty, Yin Xian's footsteps stopped at the foot of the mountain, she couldn't help but look back, her tombstone could no longer be seen.
Dragging his sick body, even though he walked slowly, he was still out of breath.
Finding a shade, he sat down and rested.
There is a spring breeze blowing through the mountains.
Looking up, he caught a glimpse of a cluster of flowers blooming well.
When you get closer, you can see bulbous flowers blooming on the light brown branches. The clusters of flowers were actually made up of many small flowers, clustered together, and pieced together into a warm yellow-white ball.
He asked the old man passing by what the flower was called.
The old man said: "It's called Jiexiang."
"Jiexiang?" Yin Xian was taken aback.
some years ago.
The sweater she knitted for him has a round neck and long sleeves. The color is a special smoke blue, and the stitches are regular and flat. Fingers touched the edge of the hem of the sweater, there was a small bump, turned over, and a fluffy flower was hidden inside.
"If you don't like that flower, you can cut it off."
Wang Jiexiang scratched her head awkwardly.
He asked, "What kind of flower is this?"
She smiled without saying a word...
After some years.
Wang Jiexiang stayed in her hometown.
Yin Xian took a branch of fragrant flowers home.
Fragrance tree, also called dream tree. Legend has it that if you put the fragrant flowers under your pillow, it can bless your dreams come true, get rid of bad luck, and find a lover.
The author has something to say: At this point, the story of "Going to Your Island" is all over.
The source of information on the flower language and legends of Yuxiang is the Encyclopedia of China Garden Network, which is beautifully written. If you are interested, you can search for "Jiexiang China Garden Network Encyclopedia", which should be the first one.
Initially, I wanted to tell a story of reconciliation. Little Rabbit Island found me.
——"That boy doesn't seem to love you that much, and doesn't care about you that much. I know you are not convinced, and I searched through all the details to find proof that he loves you."
I guessed that this story would be difficult to write and would be unpopular, but when I had the original idea of Little Rabbit Island, I knew I had to write it.
Today, I finished Little Rabbit Island, thank you for your company for three months, thank you for giving me the strength to write it down, I hope this is a story worth reading twice.
Finally, I wish you, and wish us, whether we choose to look back or move forward, we will have the opportunity to reconcile with the old creations and reunite with each other.
This is my column, see you on our next story if you like.