Although I ignored Xiaobei for a while, I still watched her silently. At the beginning, she was smiling every day, very happy and very happy.
I thought I was over-hearted, and maybe she was really kind to her. If so, I would silently wish Xiaobei happiness.
But later, the situation changed. One morning, Xiaobei came, with red and swollen eyes, in a particularly bad mood. ●31 novel app download address ●During class, she also looked dazed. It looked like she didn’t know where her soul was lost.
After eating at noon, she lay down on the table and looked like she was sleeping, but I felt as if she was crying.
I was very worried about Xiaobei, so I decided to break the silence and ask her what was going on. But Xiaobei refused to tell me anything, and kept saying it was okay.
In fact, at that time, I also accepted the fact that she was already in love, thinking that the two of them might be quarreling, awkward or something, but I didn't think deeply.
Who knows, after a few days like this, Xiaobei suddenly didn't come to school. The teacher said that she was sick and asked for leave. I was suspicious at the time. How could she suddenly become ill, why didn't I know
We all live in a family yard, and we went to school together when we were young. But after junior high school, I still spend a lot of time with boys, so I don't go to school with her anymore. So, she didn't go that day, and I also went to school, and I only found out after listening to the teacher.
I was anxious for a whole day, and finally looked forward to the end of school. I refused the invitation of my classmates to play basketball. I flew home and went straight to the home of Xiaobei and his family.
But when I got to the door, I was stopped by her mother and refused to let me in. I looked into the room curiously and was startled. The moment Xiaobei's mother closed the door, I saw Xiaobei jumping frantically in the room, she didn't comb her usual braids, and her hair was as terrifying as Mei Chaofeng.
I hurried home and asked my mother what was going on. My mother said she didn't know much, but I heard that Xiaobei seemed to be crazy.
I felt like five thunderstorms. Xiaobei is so good, how could she be crazy? My first feeling at the time was that the bastard in the vocational high school must have bullied her, so the next day I simply played truant and went to the vocational high school. I want to talk to Xiaobei!
But when I came to the entrance of the vocational high school, I was at a loss. I didn't even know that man. I only heard Xiaobei mention what his name is Feng. There are too many people called this name, how can I go to the number
The old janitor at the entrance of the vocational high school watched me circling the door, so he stuck his head out of the window and asked me who I was looking for. At that time, I also bite the bullet and entered the guard room.
I explained my intention to him, and the uncle looked puzzled.
He thought for a moment and told me that a few days ago, a girl was like me, and she was looking for a person named Zhang Guofeng, but he asked a lot about it, and even the teacher was counted in the entire vocational high school. Inside, there is no one named Zhang Guofeng at all. The girl didn't give up, she waited at the school gate until school was over. In the end, everyone was gone and she didn't see the person she was looking for.
I quickly described Xiaobei's appearance, and the old man said it should be this girl.
When I heard him say this, my mind became confused. It is said that Xiaobei has never lied to me, what she said to me should be true, otherwise she shouldn't have come here to wait foolishly. Could it be that the man lied to her? Tell Xiaobei that he is a student of this vocational high school, but he is not
Thinking of this, I felt at the time that Xiaobei must have encountered an emotional liar.
Later, when I returned home, my father gave me severe criticism and education for playing truant. To put it bluntly, I just hit with a big board and cut to death. I kept asking me why I was playing truant. I resisted the pain and said nothing.
I don't want to tell an adult about Xiaobei's sex, I want to keep it secret for her. Moreover, I feel that I must find a way to help her.
However, I overestimated my abilities. This is also the one thing I have most saddened and regretted the most in all these years. Why didn't I tell the adults what I knew at the time!
I want to help her, but how can I help? I'm just a junior high school student, and I don't know anything yet. Besides, that emotional liar, where can I find him, there is no clue at all, I only know that his name is Zhang Guofeng.
In this way, time was delayed for a few more days, and I was absent-minded at school and after school every day. Finally one day, I took advantage of Xiaobei’s mother’s time to go shopping for vegetables and sneak into her house. In the factory dormitory back then, the doors were not locked during the day, especially if there were people in the house.
I want to see how Xiaobei is going, and I am very worried about her.
As soon as I entered the room, I saw Xiaobei sitting alone in her arms, her eyes dull, and she looked forward as if she hadn't seen me come in.
"Xiao Bei..." I called her softly.
"Gaoxin, you are here..." Xiaobei said quietly without lifting her head.
"Xiao Bei, how are you doing?" I was very nervous at this time.
"Nothing, everything is over..." She was still in that tone, without even looking at me. I was stunned for a moment, not knowing what to say.
"Let's go, I'm sorry..." Then, Xiaobei gave me an order to chase off guests.
I really didn't think much about it at the time, but felt that Xiaobei didn't want to see me. And, she said, it's nothing, everything is over, I thought she had already wanted to go, she would get better. So, I stood up, walked to the door, and looked back at her.
Unexpectedly, this look became the nightmare of my life!
The moment I walked towards the door, Xiaobei took out a knife from nowhere and severely slit his wrist. The bright red blood spurted out of Lao Gao and dyed the white sheets red!
I was just a junior high school student, and when I saw such a scene, I was frightened and fainted.
When I finally woke up, I was already in the hospital. Similar to this experience, my mother called me in front of her eyes. The first thing I woke up was to ask her about Xiaobei's condition. However, my mother told me the worst result: When Xiaobei was found, he lost too much blood and was no longer saved.
Distressed! remorse! It filled my heart. I was so excited at the time, I cried when I wow, struggling desperately to see Xiaobei. My mother pressed me hard, and I didn't fall from the sex.
I also failed to attend Xiaobei's funeral, and my mother refused to let me go. Because I fainted at their door, it caused a lot of disputes at the beginning. Xiaobei's parents thought she was seeking death because of me.
As for how this dispute passed, I don't know. At that time, I shut myself up at home, refused to go out, and didn't care about anything. My parents had no choice but to give me a one-year suspension of school.
For a while, I stayed at home all day, unkempt, and no sunshine. It felt like I was crazy too. Actually, I'm not crazy, it's just because of Xiaobei's incident that left me with a lifelong regret, like a thorn stuck in my heart and can't be pulled out.
After a long, long time, I slowly walked out of this state. It can be said that I completely relied on myself to force the memory to get out of the shadows. Although my mother did not try to persuade me less, the effect was not great. At that time, there was no such profession as a psychologist.
After this incident, I suffered from fainting and blood, and fell ill as soon as I saw blood. Once passing by the door of a Korean restaurant, I fainted when I saw the scene of killing a dog. Even if his hand accidentally hurts and bleeds, it feels like the sky is spinning.
In the first few years, I couldn't even see others getting close in front of me. When I saw such a scene, I thought of Xiaobei. There are girls who like me and confess to me, and I stay away. Because of the dull pain in my heart, I will always be like this for many years to come.
Later, when I was applying for the college entrance examination, I resolutely applied for the psychology major of the medical school. I want to be a psychologist, I want to help more people like Xiaobei, get out of the shadows, and cherish life.
Unexpectedly, because of my negligence, Xiao Xuan had a relapse of her old illness and had such a major accident, and her life and death are still unpredictable.
That kind of heart-cut feeling emerged again, and the past events appeared before my eyes one after another. I grabbed my hair hard, full of regret in my heart.
"Xiao Xuan, don't have anything to do with you!" I prayed silently in my heart. (End of this chapter)