The following remarks may cause discomfort to some female friends. Here, I sincerely apologize first. I am not deliberately criticizing women, just talking about a social phenomenon. If your mental capacity is too poor, it is recommended to skip this paragraph.
At present, the whole society treats women well. The female compatriots who have been oppressed for thousands of years finally caught up with the dawn of the new era, turned over to become masters, and gained the social and family status they deserve.
In fact, this is understandable. It is a positive phenomenon and trend all over the world. However, in China, this kind of turning over feels a bit overturned.
Of course, most women still maintain the fine traditions of hard work, simplicity, gentleness, and virtuousness. The traditional virtues of Chinese women have been inherited very well. For such women, our society should treat them preferentially and love them.
But there are still quite a few women, to put it in the vernacular, they are spoiled! I was used to my parents since I was young, my husband is used to growing up, and I have received various preferential treatments in society. As Feng Gong said in the cross talk, women can last for at most half a day.
Lazy, selfish, cold, grumpy, and playful. There are actually not a few women like this, and they are not as good as one generation.
Spoiled by them, they gradually become domineering, bullying their husbands at home, and they are not afraid of the sky outside, not even the tigers, she is the core of the world, everyone serves her, even the high-speed rail has to wait for her Departure when it arrives...
You know, your parents are accustomed to you because of love; if your husband allows you, it is more because of love. If you regard this love as a pass for your own recklessness, you will trample on the rules at will, deliberately bully others, and who you think I'm afraid of you, that's too heartless behavior.
Can a man beat a woman? impossible. Especially a basketball player like Lao Xing, who is big and tall, even if his wife is also an athlete, she can't beat her husband.
But if a man doesn't hit you, it doesn't mean that you can act recklessly, or that you can insult or even hit people casually.
Many women nowadays, relying on men who are afraid or unwilling to beat her, wanton abuse and even often beat others happen frequently. When she got used to rampage, she even felt that tigers could be hit, and the high-speed rail could be stopped. In the end, she was the one who suffered.
Speaking of returning to this matter of domestic violence. It is true that traditional domestic violence is when a man beats a woman and a husband beats his wife. But society is gradually changing and new forms of domestic violence are already in many ways. Therefore, it is not uncommon for a man to suffer from domestic violence.
Surprisingly, this man was originally a victim, but almost no one sympathized with him. He wanted to protect his rights, but he didn't even have any channels! It has to be said that it is a kind of indifference and deficiency of the whole society. Who will protect such weak people
Speaking of this, I remembered the campus violence that I had talked about before. Some media reported that a group of female middle school students abused a male student. They stripped the boy's clothes naked, put a holster on his offspring's roots, and stabbed the boy's anus with a foreign body.
In the end, the boy's descendants were necrotic due to a long time without blood, the rectal mucosa ruptured, hemorrhages heavily, and almost died. Although this male student was eventually rescued, he will be left with a permanent disability and a lingering shadow throughout his life.
In the end, the female students involved were only convicted of violence. They were also sentenced to a reduced sentence because they were under 18 years of age, and all sentenced to probation. In other words, there is no need to go to jail at all!
But think about it, what if the other way around? If it is a group of male students who abuse a girl so abnormally, what kind of punishment will these boys receive in the end? It will definitely be heavy!
This is the problem. Violating in almost the same way creates a lifelong shadow for the victim. Why do women be leniently forgiven for violence, while men are sentenced to heavy penalties for violence
It has to be said that from the perspective of legislation, justice, and even the whole society, this is a kind of indifference and deficiency. Regardless of whether it is a male gangster or a female gangster, the gangster is the gangster, and the perversion is the perversion. Your own perverted gangster behavior has caused harm to others. Why is the way of dealing with it different because of different genders
Similarly, domestic violence is domestic violence. Regardless of whether the perpetrator is a man, a woman, or the elderly and children, since there are laws to follow, they must be treated fairly!
I thought about it a lot, but Lao Xing kept his head down and didn't speak, so we stayed silent for a long time.
I was thinking, how can I help him as a psychologist? Judging from the information currently available, first of all, Lao Xing is mentally ill. His current anxiety is not mild, and because of his wife's abuse for a long time, he may also suffer from a psychological disorder of masochistic tendencies.
Needless to say, anxiety disorders, this psychological disorder of masochistic tendency is actually what people commonly call masochism. When it comes to this masochist, some people may laugh. Why do you think anyone has such a hobby
In fact, this masochism is a kind of psychopathic reaction. It is not uncommon for a person to get pleasure only when he is abused. This kind of psychological disorder is congenital, but most of it is acquired. It belongs to the victim's own stress response and is a potential mechanism of psychological self-protection.
In layman's terms, it is a person who has been abused for a long time. In the subconscious mind, in order to avoid the pain caused by such abuse, he unconsciously likes or enjoys the feeling of being abused. This is actually a self-protection mechanism. .
Maybe I said that, but you still don't understand, then give another example. For example, if a person has been tortured by illness (such as arthritis) for a long time, every time he gets sick, he will not want to live in pain. But when his condition suddenly improved and it didn't hurt so much, he seemed to have become accustomed to the pain, and he seemed to have a trace of nostalgia for the feeling of pain.
For another example, after being raped, some women have become infatuated with the feeling of being raped. They feel that they are more exciting than normal fish and water. Since then, they have found opportunities to be raped by others and never report to the police. In fact, it is also a form of abuse. Prone to psychological disorders.
Now Lao Xing actually has this kind of psychological disorder.
In fact, it is not just Lao Xing, most victims of domestic violence have more or less such psychological barriers. Some people even suffered from this mental illness since they were young, which eventually led to frequent domestic violence; some people suffered from domestic violence for a long time and gradually developed this mental illness.
Domestic violence is difficult to deal with, and the law is also difficult to really supervise. In addition to the privacy of the family and the blood relationship between members, this psychological barrier to abuse is also an important reason.
Victims often suffer from this kind of mental illness, which leads to the fact that many domestic violence** are not exposed in time, which ultimately leads to an irreparable situation.
Now there is the "Anti-Domestic Violence Law". Some acts of domestic violence are already violations of the criminal law. It's not that you Zhou Yu hit Huang Gai. If you want to hit Huang Gai, the law doesn't care about you, as long as you violate the criminal law. , You should bear criminal responsibility in accordance with the law!
Under normal circumstances, the treatment of masochism can use supportive talk therapy and aversion therapy.
Both of these therapies are guided through some special methods, gradually allowing the patient to get rid of this obstacle and return to a normal mental state. But the onset is slow and requires a long-term treatment process.
As you may have guessed, I want to treat Lao Xing with hypnotherapy. But after all, hypnotherapy is only a treatment method. Although it can remove the demons of patients, it cannot change their fait accompli.
Heart disease still needs heart medicine, Lao Xing's real heart knot is still his wife's problem. If this problem is not resolved, even if I cure his mental illness, the troubles and troubles he is facing are still there, then everything is in vain.
Thinking of this, I took another look at Lao Xing in front of me. He still kept that posture, lowered his head and didn't speak. It can be seen that his heart is both struggling and tangled.
"Lao Xing, do you still love her?" I asked. (End of this chapter)