Try Again

Chapter 16: Already let go

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Compared to the last time he drank too much, Jiang Lin was more relaxed tonight, and there was some trace of the way they used to be together.

Ji Minglun did not move the fingers on his shoulders. When he lowered his eyes to look into his eyes, he felt that he seemed to be hesitant to say something, and he did not seem to want to be looked at like this. He quickly closed his eyes to block his sight.

Standing up straight, Ji Minglun looked at the clock on the wall.

It was already past three o'clock and there were not many people on the street at this time. There was really no need to force Jiang Lin to go back, especially since he had an extra room here.

Walking into the second bedroom, Ji Minglun turned the air conditioner button on the wall to low wind mode, returned to the sofa and said, "If you don't want to leave, go to the guest room and sleep."

Jiang Lin had no intention of getting up. He just raised his right arm to cover his eyes: "I'll just sleep on the sofa."

The sofa in Ji Minglun's house was chosen by them together. They visited several furniture stores before choosing this one. It took more than two months to wait for it to arrive. In terms of comfort, this large leather sofa is not inferior to the more than 20,000 mattress in the master bedroom. Jiang Lin used to like lying on the sofa after taking a bath to watch online classes and movies.

Ji Minglun didn't force him. He walked to the touch switch and turned off all the lights in the living room, leaving only a small wall lamp in the corner leading to the bathroom.

The huge living room was dark, and the night enveloped the figure on the sofa. Ji Minglun glanced at where Jiang Lin was lying, and walked towards the master bedroom in slippers. When he pushed open the bedroom door, his shoulder accidentally touched the end of the dream catcher hanging on the door frame.

A very light and crisp wind chime sounded, Ji Minglun raised his hand and grabbed it. At the same time the sound stopped, Jiang Lin's voice was heard from the sofa.

"Minglun."

Ji Minglun stood sideways, bathed in the light from the bedroom. He couldn't see Jiang Lin clearly, nor was he sure if Jiang Lin was looking at him. He just felt that Jiang Lin seemed to be hesitating. After waiting for a moment, he heard a sentence: "In fact, I often think about the past this year."

Ji Minglun didn't respond, but he didn't close the door either. This gave Jiang Lin some courage. He supported himself on the sofa and sat up, looking at the person bathed in light from afar.

"I don't know what you're thinking right now, but I really want to mend our relationship."

"Just give me a chance."

He was responded with silence again. Just when his heart was beating so fast that it was about to burst out of his throat, he finally heard Ji Minglun speak.

Unfortunately, all he said was "Go to bed early". Before he could say anything else, Ji Minglun let go of Feng Ling's hand, turned around and closed the door of the master bedroom.

The tail of the released dream catcher was still swaying slightly, but it could no longer make a clear ringing sound. Jiang Lin's vision fell into darkness again. He still looked at the door, but unfortunately he could no longer see the person at the door, and even the dream catcher could not be seen clearly.

His fingers, which were supporting his body, pinched the cold leather cushion of the sofa, and then his strength loosened and he fell back again. The scene of buying the dream catcher that year appeared in front of his eyes.

That was when Ji Minglun was preparing for his new home. In addition to taking him to look at the decoration drawings and choose furniture, he also chose home accessories.

Both of them are men, and they lack aesthetic taste for home accessories. After walking around the furniture store, they didn't like the ornaments introduced by the shopping guide. Later, when Chen Nidan was doing a charity sale to help students, many handmade products were unsaleable, so she asked him for help, and he bought all the remaining items.

He was not interested in those handmade trinkets and asked Chen Nidan to share them with those who wanted them. Only a gray dreamcatcher with white feathers and the words "Wish Come True" written on it was kept by him.

Chen Nidan said that the classmate who made this dream catcher took it to Nanputuo Temple to worship. Ji Minglun was also there at the time. After hearing it, he took it from him. From then on, it was hung on the door frame of the bedroom and has not been thrown away until now.

After thinking about random things for more than half an hour in the living room, Jiang Lin finally couldn't stand the aftereffects of the alcohol and fell asleep. When Ji Minglun got up to go to the bathroom to see him, he found him leaning against the corner of the sofa, curled up in a ball as if he was very cold.

The air conditioner in the living room was set to 26 degrees, which was the temperature Jiang Lin was used to. He didn't like to cover himself with a blanket when he slept before. When Ji Minglun walked over, he saw that he was hugging his arms and the skin on the back of his hands felt cold, so he went back to the bedroom, took the blanket and covered him with it, and turned up the air conditioner by one degree.

After doing all this, Ji Minglun went to the kitchen to get some water. He didn't turn on the light and moved very quietly, but when he turned back to the living room, he heard Jiang Lin talking.

The sound was vague and he couldn't hear the specific content. He walked closer and bent down to identify it for a moment, and felt that it was more like a groan.

He frowned in confusion. Before he could figure out what was going on, he heard Jiang Lin gasp softly. The voice was murmuring, coming from his nose, more like a cat calling for sex in the night.

Now Ji Minglun realized that Jiang Lin was having that kind of dream.

His throat, which had just been moistened, suddenly became dry. He looked at the person in front of him with a complicated expression. He didn't know who the person in Jiang Lin's dream was. He could breathe so softly. Could it be the person he liked

When he realized this, Ji Minglun's face became even uglier.

The outstretched fingertips fell on the corner of Jiang Lin's eyes, and the fingertips gently stroked the soft eyelashes. The person in the sleep seemed to feel itchy, and his body trembled, and he raised his hand to grab his fingers.

Thinking Jiang Lin had woken up, Ji Minglun tried to pull his hand away in fear, but Jiang Lin just placed his palm next to his face and did not move.

After staring at Jiang Lin for a while and making sure that he was not really awake, Ji Minglun squatted down, supported himself with his left hand and sat on the cold ground.

The right hand that was pressed down was against Jiang Lin's face, and where the fingertips touched was a warm and smooth skin. The last time they touched it was on the last night of the graduation trip.

At that time, he pushed Jiang Lin against the wall, and while kissing Jiang Lin's lips, his fingers were also stroking the smooth skin of his cheeks and neck. Jiang Lin did not respond, but he could feel that this man was so scared that he held his breath until he easily opened his teeth with the tip of his tongue and touched his soft tongue. Jiang Lin suddenly pushed him away as if waking up from a dream.

They grew up together, so he was sure that it was Jiang Lin's first kiss.

Now that he thinks about it, he still received too much preferential treatment from Jiang Lin. Relying on the friendship of growing up together, he has experienced countless firsts for Jiang Lin.

Especially when he was told about his nocturnal emission, Jiang Lin was at a loss and his face was red, which was still etched in his mind. And half a year later, he was half-coaxed and half-tricked into discussing the feeling of using hands. It turned out that Jiang Lin was not used to it and always felt that it was a very awkward thing, which led to frequent dirtying of the vagina during sleep.

Then there is Jiang Lin’s late voice change.

Jiang Lin was four months younger than him, and his voice change and nocturnal emission were in the opposite order. He still remembered that it was a weekend morning when Jiang Lin called him, but he couldn't speak despite the effort. Jiang Lin's mother had not died at that time, but she had been in a coma for a long time due to the side effects of chemotherapy, so he didn't know it was because of the voice change until he accompanied Jiang Lin to see a doctor.

Thinking of how Jiang Lin relied on him for everything over the years, Ji Minglun couldn't help but sigh.

Falling in love with Jiang Lin was an accident. If it weren't for this accident, they would still be good friends who can talk about anything. Now Jiang Lin is back and has been actively trying to repair this friendship. Maybe Jiang Lin just can't bear to part with him as a friend, or maybe Jiang Lin has someone he likes and hopes that his friend can let it go and accept it.

Jiang Lin held his fingers under his face for a long time, and the fingertips began to feel numb due to lack of blood. This feeling was just like their current relationship. Jiang Lin wanted to make peace, but he kept resisting. But how long could he hold on

Jiang Lin will go back to Los Angeles after the summer vacation. He chose journalism because of Jiang Lin. He still hasn't figured out what to do after graduating from graduate school next year. In fact, it's not a bad idea to go abroad with Ji Zhuosheng. After leaving here, Jiang Lin and I will be separated and won't see each other anymore. Then I will stop thinking about him.

Maybe we can really be friends again, contact each other occasionally and ask about each other's recent situation.

As for the people I like—

Retracting his hand, Ji Minglun pressed his numb fingers against the floor tiles. The warmth on Jiang Lin's cheeks was quickly wiped away by the coolness of the marble. He stood up, tucked the blanket in for Jiang Lin again, and turned back to his room.

Before closing the door, he took the dream catcher off the door and put it in the locked cabinet.

He has been reluctant to take down this dreamcatcher, but now is the time.

Jiang Lin slept on the sofa until 10 am, when he was woken up by the vibrating watch on his wrist. He turned off the alarm, stretched and sat up, and saw Ji Minglun busy preparing breakfast in the kitchen.

He got drunk last night and fell into a deep sleep. Thinking that Ji Minglun actually let him stay overnight at home, Jiang Lin lifted the blanket and stood up, and when he was about to put on his slippers, he looked back.

This blanket was probably given to him by Ji Minglun.

He pursed his lips, smoothed his hair, walked over in slippers, and said tentatively, "Morning."

"Morning," Ji Minglun turned around and pointed to the bathroom with his chin, "I've prepared a new toothbrush and towel for you. Go wash up first."

Even though his mind was not fully awake yet, Jiang Lin could sense that Ji Minglun's attitude seemed to be different. Seeing him standing there motionless, Ji Minglun turned the fried eggs in the pan over and urged him again.

Jiang Lin went into the bathroom. When he came out, Ji Minglun had already placed the cooked noodles on the dining table. He then took off his apron, sat down on the chair on the left, and said to him, "Come and sit down."

Sitting down on the chair on the right, Jiang Lin took the stainless steel chopsticks handed to him by Ji Minglun, and shifted his gaze from the golden sunny-side-up egg wrapped around the top of the bowl to Ji Minglun's face. He watched Ji Minglun pick up a mouthful of noodles and put it into his mouth, then take a bite of the egg, and then eat the noodles again.

This kind of vegetarian noodles was his most common breakfast at Ji Minglun’s house. It is not only good for the stomach but also nutritious, especially the sunny-side-up egg on top.

He likes to eat slightly solidified egg yolks. The aunt at home can never fry them well, either they are too raw or too cooked. Only Ji Minglun can fry them to the taste he likes.

The chopsticks poked the thin egg skin, and the orange yolk could be seen in the broken hole. Seeing him staring at the noodles without moving, Ji Minglun swallowed the food in his mouth and said, "Don't you want to eat?"

"no."

Jiang Lin hurriedly shook his head, picked up the sunny-side-up egg and took a big bite, the orange yolk flowing down from the corner of his mouth. Ji Minglun took a look and turned away calmly, then took out a tissue and handed it to him.

Jiang Lin took it and wiped it. After finishing the whole egg, he drank a mouthful of the fragrant soup. It was still the familiar sesame oil flavor, which was very stimulating to the taste buds, but he was thinking about something, and faced with the delicious food, he felt that something was missing.

As if not noticing that something was wrong with him, Ji Minglun quickly finished his noodles and got up to go to the kitchen to wash the dishes and pots.

Jiang Lin looked at his back. He had a lot of questions to ask, but he didn't know how to start. Especially Ji Minglun's attitude. Although he could see that there was a change, he was afraid that it was his misunderstanding. After all, Ji Minglun had eaten breakfast, so maybe he just made a bowl for him and didn't mean anything else.

After finishing the noodles, Jiang Lin walked over to Ji Minglun with the bowl in his hand. The man heard his footsteps, reached out to take his bowl and chopsticks, and rinsed them under water.

Jiang Lin paused for a moment, and seeing that Ji Minglun was concentrating on washing the dishes and had no intention of talking to him, he had to go back to the living room. But when he walked towards the sofa, he found that the dream catcher on the door frame of the master bedroom was gone.

Turning back, Jiang Lin asked, "Did you put away the dream catcher?"

After draining the last bowl of water, Ji Minglun raised his hand and pressed the faucet switch. The sound of running water stopped, and his ears suddenly became quiet.

He didn't answer immediately. He took off his gloves before turning around and leaning against the pool, looking at Jiang Lin.

"Well, throw it away if it's useless."

Ji Minglun's tone was calm, but not as cold as before, and there was no impatience in his eyes when he looked at Jiang Lin. However, Jiang Lin's face suddenly changed, and he walked towards the kitchen.

Seeing that he wanted to look through the trash can in the closet, Ji Minglun grabbed his hand and said, "I threw it into the trash can downstairs this morning, and it has been taken away now."

"Why are you throwing it away? If you don't want it, you can give it to me!"

Jiang Lin's voice changed. There were very few things related to him left in this house. If even the dream catcher was gone—

Compared to his anxious look, Ji Minglun's expression showed a rare calmness: "I have let go of that matter a long time ago. It is not appropriate to keep things from the past. I can be friends with you in the future, but don't mention the past anymore."

The author has something to say:

He had to let go of the past before he could start loving him again.