For Qin Jue, Qi Ji's unconditional trust is the tenderness that touches his heart the most.
If he hides anything anymore, he will be really disappointed in Qi Ji's wholehearted love for him.
Since this day, he has been feeling guilty, guilty and anxious. The only way he can think of is to comfort the other person by picking fish bones and coax him out, and then ask for forgiveness after the other person's anger subsides.
But every time Qi Ji "rejected" him, wouldn't sleep near him, ran away from the restaurant, or said after a training match that they could never go back to the past, he felt a sting in his heart. He wanted to be sad, but also felt that he was not qualified.
Because, all the reasons for his hurtful words should not be reasons.
However, now, Qi Ji didn't blame him at all. He pursed his lips and held his wrist, as if he was shocked and nervously waiting for him to speak.
The night was getting darker and darker, and Qin Jue was wrapped in Qi Ji's gentle breathing. He gradually realized that when he really decided to talk about the past, he was actually much calmer than he thought.
So in the scattered lights, he just lowered his gaze and began to describe to Qi Ji his childhood that seemed to never end, as concisely as possible.
—Why he has scars, why he pretends to be straight, why he doesn’t want to show up, why he is afraid of the dark, why he doesn’t go home, why he chooses e-sports games, Qin Jue told Qi Ji everything, like, this is just a story.
However, he kept his head down during the process, resisting the soreness in his nasal cavity, so as not to affect his remaining image.
The other party listened quietly. At first, he gently rubbed his fingers soothingly, but later, he stopped moving at all.
"I feel... my brother probably knows I'm here. I'm a little afraid that he will find me, so I said those words to Brother Liu, thinking you really ignored me." Qin Jue took a twitching breath. But he had to notice that the lingering fear in his heart was gradually replaced by the urge to act coquettishly towards Qi Ji - as if suddenly, those fears that were found and pulled back into the darkness by his brother were no longer able to be overcome. He was a little moody about being "snubbed" by Qi Ji.
This change shocked Qin Jue himself. He didn't even know whether his red eyes were for the scars in the past or for Qi Ji. Now, the only thing he wanted to think about was how to throw himself into Qi Ji's arms. Crying is more domineering.
His hand held by Qi Ji was obviously the most tense and restless organ in his body. At this moment, he even hated his similar height to the other person. If he were as thin as Shen Ye, he would have naturally shrunk to the width of others. He was crying in his arms, but his height of over 1.8 meters always seemed to make this scene look awkward.
So he comforted himself repeatedly. In order to make his initiative appear more reasonable, he dared to move out for any reason. This was not the first time he cried. Anyway, Qi Ji's slightly upturned congenital shape always made him cry. La... So, it's definitely okay to cry.
But just when he raised his head and was finally ready to expose himself more completely, the person in front of him was beyond his expectation. He was in a state of confusion.
Qin Jue was startled when he saw that the other party's long eyelashes were already wet, and tears fell one by one like turning on a faucet. In order to control the air, the other party bit his lower lip subconsciously, making the lips reddish. Anyone who looked at him would feel fragile and pitiful, and feel pity in his heart.
Qin Jue, who was about to cry, was dumbfounded for two seconds. He seemed to have stopped writing. Only one line ran through his mind: Woman, your tears are pearls. I, Long Aotian, will not allow you to cry!
Damn, is there something wrong?
"Qi, Qi Ji?" Qin Jue saw that his shoulders were twitching so much that he instinctively wanted to raise his hand to wipe away his tears.
But in an instant, the light and shadow in front of him suddenly flickered. Before he could think, his chin hit the opponent's shoulder hard, and a huge force hugged him, as if to strangle him to death.
Qi Ji seems to have a special skill of "crying so hard but making no sound", leaving only a hot breath around him.
Qin Jue couldn't help but feel distressed, and quickly hugged the other person. The violent shaking in his shoulder was close to his cheek, which gradually made him feel sour and his eyes turned red.
"...Why are you crying? Cry for me, like a little girl." Qin Jue patted his back, but he buried his face and shook his head reluctantly. He tightened the strength of his arms again and replied: " I...why didn't I meet senior earlier?"
It seemed that all his bad premonitions were confirmed. The biggest difference was that Mother Qin's "leaving" did not mean what everyone understood.
At this moment, he was like a big dog that had been lost for a long time and finally found its owner. Qin Jue could only rub his soft hair: "...How do we know each other? The country is helping you with the South-to-North Water Diversion Project?"
However, Qi Ji sniffed stubbornly and did not ask for the details of the story. He just said: "Then, blame Blue Hole, Blame V Agency, Blame Activision... We have played so many similar games, and we have never met earlier. "
Qin Jue was about to criticize him for being unreasonable when he was rubbed hard and hugged tighter.
Suddenly, the tenderness of a boy and the tenderness of a man appeared in Qi Ji's arms at the same time. Qin Jue couldn't help but feel weak all over, and couldn't help but lean towards each other.
The light was dim and light. After a while, Qin Jue felt the weight on his shoulders lighten. A hand touched the wound on his abdomen through his clothes, and then stopped on the left side of his face.
Qi Ji opened his red eyes and asked him, "Does it hurt?"
Qin Jue suppressed the instinct to avoid the left side of his face and just lowered his head a little: "...Yes."
However, under a layer of warm light, he did not know that his words turned into rusty thorns, scratching Qi Ji's heart alive, causing blood to flow. He even continued to torture without realizing it. Person: "...You, please stop asking. As a kid, shouldn't you know better than anyone that I'm afraid of pain?"
Obviously, he was in a hurry, trying to break the overly sentimental atmosphere, but Qi Ji felt even more sad. He quickly licked his lips and asked anxiously: "Of course I know that senior is afraid of pain, so... why do you still get a tattoo? "
All of a sudden, Qin Jue seemed to have been exposed to the last line of defense, and his tone suddenly became aggrieved: "Don't you think this is more domineering?... I, I spent a fucking thousand, two hundred yuan!"
Just like, compared to the precious money savings he had when he was young, the reasons why he wanted to get a tattoo were nothing at all.
Qi Ji couldn't help but feel a sore nose, and quickly put the person in his arms again: "I'm sorry, I shouldn't ask."
Qin Jue passively leaned on his shoulder and insisted on staying motionless at first. It wasn't until Qi Ji's hands kept rubbing his trembling back that he gritted his teeth and grabbed Qi Ji's clothes. His voice was a little messy: "Your skills are not good. I can’t stand on stage... I’m going to lose all my body hair because of you... "
Qi Ji paused for half a second, then patted him on the back obediently. This left him no longer able to find any excuses, and his voice suddenly darkened: "Why don't you ask me, why don't you know how to resist?"
Qi Ji paused for two seconds, only touching the ugly undulating scars back and forth, and said, "Asking an abused child why he didn't resist an adult is a cruel enough question."
Qin Jue's nose felt sore and he finally couldn't help it anymore: "Then, can I cry now, Qi Ji?"
That posture was like Qi Ji disrupting his original rhythm.
Qi Jizheng was stunned for a second, then naturally hugged his body tightly, not intending to give him any time to react: "...Okay, when you faint from crying, I will carry you to Dr. Meng."
Qin Jue said, "It's better that you perform artificial respiration yourself to rescue him." Before he could finish, the sobs surged across his throat, sweeping up like a wave, causing him to clutch Qi Ji's clothes in pain.
He didn't know why he was still crying.
The last time he didn't control himself like this was when he called his mother many years ago and the other party hung up in a hurry after asking where his number came from.
***
The weather in the south has gotten much warmer in April. The light from a crescent moon outside the window is like fine quicksand, shining on his face stained by tears. It also shines on Qi Ji, who lowers his head and endures the pain with the back of his hand. He wiped his eyes with his sleeves.
His hot cheeks were gently covered by cold hands, no longer filled with the pain of being bitten by salt water. At this moment, the two of them were like a big boss who spent money and a little waiter who collected money. Qin Jue only cared about enjoying the coaxing service. Qi Ji comforted him with great distress, and asked him at the right time: Can he breathe? Come, let me wipe it for you; don't speak in a hurry, be good, you may bite your tongue; do you feel dizzy? If you start to feel dizzy, tell me.
Qi Ji's tone was basically the same as asking - "Boss, are you okay? Boss, do you think my work is okay? Do you want more money to continue?" In the end, Qin Jue, who was leaning on his shoulder, felt extremely comfortable. It has reached the point where she closes her eyes and rubs her face into his palm, feeling so relieved that she almost forgets that she is still crying.
The night was melting, and it was gradually approaching dawn.
It wasn't until Qin Jue cried happily that Qi Ji wanted to take care of him and rest first: "Go to sleep first, senior. If you have anything to do, wait until tomorrow. As long as I'm here, no one can touch senior's body hair."
"Well, those are hairs, don't let me lead you astray." However, after finally lying down, Qin Jue's eyes were still red, but he still couldn't worry about Qi Ji, "Are you really... not sad or angry at all... Hua God? Are you sure you are not fooling me?"
This was originally one of the things Qi Ji wanted to say tomorrow. Seeing Qin Jue take the initiative to bring it up, he pulled the corner of the quilt, leaned over and pinched Qin Jue's face at the speed of light, saying: "Of course not. But as a lesson, senior You can't be so duplicitous in the future, lest... lest you make yourself sad and cause my glass heart to explode."
Qin Jue admitted his mistake with a positive attitude and immediately nodded to accept it heroically. When Qi Ji saw this, he hugged him with a sigh of relief: "Okay, close your eyes."
Although Qin Jue was still a little nervous instinctively, compared with the continuous light sleep in the past few days, he had already expected that he would sleep deeply today.
Later, in bed, the two of them chatted a lot in a low voice. Qin Jue thought about what had happened in the past few days, and fearfully asked for a wave of instant tests.
"Why am I always worried about myself? Do you have anything to ask, Xiao Qi? I will definitely tell the truth this time."
Qi Ji couldn't help but chuckle while holding his hand, and did not reject him.
"Then... Senior has had relationships with many women before. Is it true?"
-He is really curious about this matter.
Qin Jue replied: "Bad... almost. I only opened the room to prove myself, but there was really no response. In the end, I took her to three levels in the mobile game, which is rounded off."
"...So, there's only one?"
"... Well, a friend of a friend told me I have a good figure the second we met."
"So, senior, when did you think I was good to you when we first met?"
"...I, I have so many things to do, I forgot about it a long time ago."
"Senior just promised that he would not be duplicitous in the future. You have not forgotten it, right?"
"You - okay, okay, I figured out how to get into your position when we first met, okay?"
As they talked, the two of them gradually became sleepy. Although Qi Ji saw that he was finally not so afraid of tomorrow, he still moved closer to protect him and asked the last question.
"Senior, do you think you are being arrogant like the little girl on Weibo said?"
His voice was a little blurry, and Qin Jue's eyelids were sore. He was so sleepy that he almost didn't know what he was saying. He just remembered to tell the truth: "Yeah, yeah, I am, I am."
As for the fact that Qin Jue refused to acknowledge this sentence when he mentioned it later, that is all a story for another day.