Lin Zhan's embrace was short-lived, and before Lin Wuyu evaded his conditioned reflex because he was not used to this kind of close contact, he had already retreated.
Lin Wuyu pressed his back to the stiffness of being late, and the name Lin Zhan kept echoing in his mind.
His parents called him, most of the time he was a big name, and when he was in a good mood, he would call him Wuyu, and his classmates and friends were basically called fish, no fish, learning gods...
Only Lin Zhan, except Wuyu, sometimes calls him Xiaoyuer.
When he felt that Lin Wuyu was wronged.
"Do you have time now?" Lin Zhan said, "please have a meal."
"Okay." Lin Wuyu nodded.
"What would you like to eat?" Lin Zhan asked.
"It's all right." Lin Wuyu entered the bedroom, changed clothes and came out, the phone rang in his trouser pocket.
Ding Ji sent it.
-How about it
Lin Wuyu quickly tapped a few times on the screen.
- a little strange, now go to dinner
- Have some wine! no stranger
Lin Wuyu smiled and put the phone back in his pocket.
When standing in the elevator with Lin Zhan, he had a very special feeling. The distant and unfamiliar intimacy made him a little uncomfortable.
When Lin Zhan stepped out of the elevator, he asked, "Did you tell your family about this?"
"No," Lin Wuyu glanced at him, "I didn't say it before, so I didn't say it."
"Don't say it now." Lin Zhan said.
Lin Wuyu didn't speak, thinking that when Lin Zhan mentioned his parents before, he used the expression "they".
Lin Zhan didn't wait for his answer, so he stopped and looked at him: "Don't say it."
"Okay." Lin Wuyu replied.
Lin Zhan patted him on the arm.
A black Ford Mustang was parked in the parking space downstairs. Lin Wuyu suddenly found that he had an impression of this car, and had been parked on the side of the road near the gate of the community before.
He had seen it at least three times during this time.
"Do you have a book?" Lin Zhan asked when he opened the car door.
"No." Lin Wuyu said.
"If you have time, take the test," Lin Zhan got into the car. "If you want to drive, take my car and drive it. I don't usually drive much."
"Well." Lin Wuyu also got into the car.
Lin Zhan's very ordinary sentence, he was not even sure if he said it casually, but he still felt a little warm.
This is different from the warmth brought by various kindnesses that I usually feel, and it is also different from the warmth brought by Ding Ji's righteousness. This is a similar feeling in front of Ding Ji's grandparents.
is affection.
The person who said this was his brother.
"Are you motion sick?" Lin Zhan asked.
"Not dizzy." Lin Wuyu said.
"That's good." Lin Zhan nodded.
"What?" Lin Wuyu looked at him.
"I don't drive very well," Lin Zhan said. "If you get motion sickness in my car, you will almost have to get out of the car and vomit."
"Is that so?" Lin Wuyu turned to look out the window and smiled.
"How did you come here to keep me here?" Lin Zhan asked.
"Yes... Aunt Yu saw you, right at the subway entrance," Lin Wuyu sighed softly, "She took a picture."
"Candid photo?" Lin Zhan smiled disdainfully, "Which Aunt Yu?"
"The one who always took you out to play when I was a kid." Lin Wuyu looked at the small piece of silicone pad on the front of the car. It should be a cell phone for glasses. Apart from that, there was no decoration in Lin Zhan's car. There were many driver's seats. There are no lumbar or neck pillows that can be placed on the top.
If it weren't for the leather case on the car keys, which was carefully selected at first glance, the car would look like a rented car just by looking at the interior.
"I don't remember." Lin Zhan said calmly.
Lin Wuyu couldn't help but glance at him.
"Do you remember?" Lin Zhan stopped the car and waited for the red light, then turned his head.
"Of course I don't remember," Lin Wuyu said, "she never took me to play..."
Lin Zhan smiled.
From the second he saw Lin Zhan, Lin Wuyu had a question he wanted to ask, but he never found the right atmosphere and opportunity.
why are you leaving? Why? why!
This question that has troubled Lin Wuyu for ten years is stuck in his throat at this moment, no, it is pressed under his tongue, as long as he is not careful when he opens his mouth, he will roar and jump out.
Lin Zhan is driving now, and it is said that his technique is not good, so he dare not distract Lin Zhan at such a time.
But why are you leaving
But why didn't you tell me you were leaving
Lin Wuyu leaned against the car window and sighed softly.
"Don't keep sighing," Grandpa put the teapot on the coffee table. "Your grandma will educate you when she hears it."
"Understood, children can't sigh all the time, sighs call the soul." Ding Ji took the mobile phone and turned it around, and sighed again.
"Are you hungry?" Grandpa asked. "Go to the kitchen to eat. I think the braised pork is ready."
"I'm not hungry, you think I'm Lin Wuyu," Ding Ji turned on the phone, no news came in, "I'm waiting for news here."
"What news? Whose?" Grandpa came over with interest.
"Lin Wuyu has a very important thing to do right now," Ding Ji said, "I'll wait for his news to tell me if it's done."
"You can send a message and ask." Grandpa said.
"It's inconvenient," Ding Ji put his phone aside and looked at his grandpa with his chin on his back, "Old Ding, have you ever been particularly worried about your friends?"
"Yes," said grandfather, "you Grandpa Liu, when we used to hang out together on the dock, I was worried that he would be killed when he went out to fight with people."
Ding Ji couldn't hold it back, he was happy in the sofa, and laughed for a long time: "Why are you like this?"
"Have you ever worried that old Pengpeng will be beaten when he goes out to fight with others?" Grandpa asked with a smile.
"No," Ding Ji thought and laughed again, "he's actually quite clever."
"It's for your grandma to talk about being stupid," Grandpa said, "all the time she says Pengpeng is stupid."
Ding Ji smiled and rubbed his eyes: "Hey, tears came out of my eyes."
"Don't worry, the little fairy is so smart," Grandpa clapped his hand, "I don't care about him at home, hasn't he done everything well for so many years, this child is reliable."
"Well." Ding Ji nodded.
- ready to eat
Lin Wuyu suddenly sent a message on the phone.
Ding Ji almost smashed his face when he was anxious to read the news.
-How about it? Feeling okay, right? Did you enjoy talking? How is the impression
-Why do you ask as if I'm on a blind date...
Ding Ji laughed.
-How about Lin Zhan
- It's good, I'll call you after dinner
-it is good
Ding Ji read these simple conversations again, put the phone aside, jumped up from the sofa, and went into the kitchen: "Braised pork—"
The restaurant that Lin Zhan picked was hidden in a hutong. It was not big, and there were only two words on the signboard. In the woods, the decoration was very simple, but it could be seen that it was carefully designed.
A meal isn't cheap.
Lin Zhan should be a regular customer, and the waiter took him directly to the innermost double cubicle when he saw him.
"Let's see what you want to eat." Lin Zhan said after sitting down.
Lin Wuyu opened the menu and glanced at it for a while, then stared at it more than a dozen times.
The price of vegetables didn't make him stunned, but what confused him was...
"Is this a vegetarian restaurant?" he asked, looking up.
"Well," Lin Zhan also glanced at him, "Do you want to eat meat?"
"... No," Lin Wuyu quickly shook his head, "I just asked."
"I've had an upset stomach right now," Lin Zhan said, "their dishes taste pretty good, let's try it."
"You order it, I've never eaten it before," Lin Wuyu said, "I don't know which one to order."
"Okay, then I'll order it." Lin Zhan put the menus together and put them aside, and directly reported several dish names to the waiter.
The waiter turned and left the booth.
"You..." Lin Wuyu followed the previous topic, "How is your body now?"
"It's okay," Lin Zhan said, "it's pretty good."
"Oh." Lin Wuyu responded, feeling that Lin Zhan wasn't telling the truth, his face was still pale like when he was a child.
"Zhuang Scholar," Lin Zhan looked at him and smiled, "Is it a big H?"
"Well," Lin Wuyu held the cup in front of him, "the notice should almost arrive in the past two days."
"It's amazing," Lin Zhan said. "When I was a child, I always felt that my brain was not good."
Lin Wuyu looked at the water in the cup and didn't speak.
There are slight ripples on the water surface, because the mouth of the cup is small, the ripples disappear as soon as they rise, and the waves are faster than the waves.
It wasn't until Lin Zhan shook his hand that he suddenly realized that his hand was shaking.
"What's wrong?" Lin Zhan asked.
"Why?" Lin Wuyu raised his head and looked at him, "Why are you leaving?"
Lin Zhan paused, withdrew his hand, and didn't say a word.
"Why are you leaving?" Lin Wuyu still looked at him, he didn't think now was the best time to ask this question, but Lin Zhan's words reminded him of too many unpleasant pasts, and these pasts Because Lin Zhan was right in front of him, it became very clear.
"Why don't you keep a word?" Lin Wuyu's voice was calm and not too fast, but behind every word he said, there were corners that he might not be aware of, which had troubled him for more than ten years. "You know that they think you are the only son, and you know that in their eyes, you are the most perfect person in the world! You know that I am superfluous, and I was born because of you! Why are you? Going? Why did you leave me there alone?"
Lin Zhan looked at him.
"Why!" Lin Wuyu finally couldn't control his emotions and roared, and thumped his hand heavily on the table, "Lin Zhan, tell me why!"
"I'm afraid." Lin Zhan said.
"Afraid?" Lin Wuyu glared at him, "Are you afraid? You are proud! You are a genius! You are hope! Are you afraid? What are you afraid of!"
The waiter pushed the door in and brought them two trays of dim sum and a pot of fruit tea.
The things were put on the table, and when the waiter left, Lin Wuyu and Lin Zhan said at the same time, "Thank you."
Lin Zhan smiled.
After the waiter closed the door of the compartment, Lin Wuyu suddenly didn't want to talk anymore, he felt a little out of control, and this uncontrollable state made him uneasy.
He leaned back in his chair, looked down at his hands, and stopped making a sound.
Lin Zhan didn't make a sound, and stayed silent with him. After a long time, he suddenly asked, "Will you wake up at night?"
Lin Wuyu didn't know why he asked that, but he still thought about it seriously: "Generally not."
"I will," Lin Zhan said, "I will wake up several times a night, and I still do."
Lin Wuyu raised his head.
"Every night I feel like someone is standing beside my bed looking at me," Lin Zhan said, "touching my face, I wake up scared every night."
"Yes..." Lin Wuyu said with some difficulty. When he noticed that Lin Zhan would avoid mentioning it, it became difficult to say, "Is it Julie?"
"You know, being a person is all, all, all," Lin Zhan didn't answer, just looked at him and asked softly, "What does it feel like?"
"I don't know," Lin Wuyu said, "I only know the feeling of being nothing."
Lin Zhan smiled, reached out and flicked his face lightly.
Lin Wuyu can guess Lin Zhan's feelings, although he is obviously reluctant to say more, just like he is also very resistant to mentioning those pasts to others, this kind of feeling... I can almost guess it.
Maybe.
No, not really sure.
After all, he is too far away from someone's "all, all, all".
"I hope I don't have a successful match with you in the first place," Lin Zhan said, "I hope I die before you are born, so that we are all better off."
Lin Wuyu's heart trembled slightly.
"But you are a little angel," Lin Zhan thought for a while, "although you are a little ugly..."
Lin Wuyu was stunned for a second and then couldn't help laughing.
"I didn't expect to see you when I left, I didn't plan to go back, and I didn't want to appear in your life again," Lin Zhan said, "Although I only left for myself, I also thought about not having me , can you be happier?"
"No." Lin Wuyu said.
"I can't take care of so much," Lin Zhan said, "I'm not a genius, I'm not a child prodigy, I'm not very smart, and my grades are average. I'm just an ordinary child with an ordinary IQ, so I'm afraid of being stared at by them every day. Watching, every minute and every second, I even thought, if one day they find out that I am not as good as I thought, my brother is the real genius... Will I be killed?"
Lin Wuyu looked at him in surprise.
He didn't understand what Lin Zhan said. He never knew that the crazy love of his parents had left such a shadow on Lin Zhan. His more memories were what he heard over and over again from their mouths. How excellent, and what a piece of shit you are.
"You ask me why I left," Lin Zhan took a sip of tea, "I just hope that we will never have each other in our lives."
"Then why did you come to me?" Lin Wuyu frowned.
"No reason, you called my eight-year-old brother," Lin Zhan said, "If I didn't meet him that day, or Ding Ji didn't leave his phone number, I might have thought it never happened, but the phone number is right there with me. At hand, I must want to know how you are doing now, I can't help it."
"I'm fine now, I'm alone now," Lin Wuyu said. "Before the college entrance examination, I was... kicked out."
"Huh?" Lin Zhan looked at him and said after a while, "It's good, don't go back."
"I won't go back," Lin Wuyu said, and confirmed it for the last time, "You don't need them to know your situation, and you don't need to know their current situation, do you?"
"Yes," Lin Zhan nodded, "never."
"Understood." Lin Wuyu said.
As soon as the phone vibrated in his hand, Ding Ji opened his eyes, and at the same time he had the phone in front of him, only seeing the word "Lin" on the screen, he answered the phone: "Lin Wuyu?"
"Are you asleep? It's a little confusing to hear the voice." Lin Wuyu's voice came over.
"I just fell asleep," Ding Ji felt his eyes were a little dry, and looked at the time, it was actually just ten o'clock, "Have you finished chatting with Lin Zhan?"
"Well." Lin Wuyu responded.
"How? Did you chat well?" Ding Ji sat up from the bed, "Did you hug your head and cry?"
"I haven't seen him for ten years. I was only eight years old when he left," Lin Wuyu said.
"Did you chat well then?" Ding Ji asked.
"It's good," Lin Wuyu said, "I finally... know why he ran like this."
There was lightness in his tone, and the heart that Ding Ji had been holding was also suddenly released. Why did Lin Zhan leave? This is the knot in Lin Wuyu's heart. How calm and calm he appeared.
"Then why is he?" Ding Ji asked softly.
"It's a bit complicated to say," Lin Wuyu said, "I didn't tell you about his illness before, so I'll talk about it when you get the notice for me, anyway... it's pretty good. "
"Oh." Ding Ji got out of bed and went to the living room to pour a glass of water, "It's a real brother, if you want to talk, you can't play hard..."
"It's not about chasing girls," Lin Wuyu smiled to help him fill in the rest of the words, "it's really complicated, I really don't want to talk about it now, I just want to talk to you casually. what."
"Okay, let's save time when I pass by and we have nothing to say," Ding Ji tutted, "Let's talk about other things!"
"Do you know where he lives?" Lin Wuyu said.
"Are you upstairs?" Ding Ji held the cup, "He went downstairs to knock on the door?"
"That's not enough," Lin Wuyu laughed, "but it's very close. The building where I rent a house is three floors away. I have the 17th building and his side has the 20th building."
"This is two floors apart," Ding Ji said coldly, "Xue Shen, how did you get the national champion?"
"There is also the building with the property office in the middle," Lin Wuyu laughed for a long time, "Why are you so unconvinced?"
"Negotiate something with you." Ding Ji hesitated for a moment, then suddenly changed the subject.
Originally, he hadn't decided yet, but when he heard Lin Wuyu's voice now, he didn't plan to think any more.
"Do you want to come here early with the notice?" Lin Wuyu asked, "Live with me first?"
"...Can you not grab business with me?" Ding Ji was immediately embarrassed, "Can you change your problem? What's wrong with your IQ?"
"You just despised my champion, I must fight back." Lin Wuyu said.
"Okay," Ding Ji sighed, "That's it, okay? I really don't have much interest in staying at home. I wanted to accompany my grandparents again, but just now my grandma asked me why I didn't go out at home. , is no one playing with me, looking upset... "
"What's wrong with grandma," Lin Wuyu said with a smile, "don't give us any face!"
"Just say if you can." Ding Ji said.
"What's wrong," Lin Wuyu said, "you can buy a ticket with the notice, and I'll pick you up."