Shen Kanyu lay in Gu Yansheng's arms in a daze for a long time, firstly, the incision was too painful and he had no strength to move, and secondly, he couldn't figure out why Ah Sheng would suddenly hug him and talk nonsense to him all of a sudden.
He pressed his upper abdomen with one hand, raised his head in Gu Yansheng's arms, and reached for his forehead with difficulty.
Seeing that he didn't respond to him, Gu Yansheng didn't know what he wanted to do, looking at his flushed cheeks and eye sockets due to the lingering high fever, he asked patiently: "What do you want?"
Before the words fell, Shen Kanyu's hand had already touched his face, and then slowly moved it to his forehead, muttering: "A Sheng, are you... sick? Let Brother Ashi give you... here Take a look, okay?"
Gu Yansheng was stunned for a moment and then said, "I haven't."
"You're talking nonsense... you only talk nonsense when you are sick."
"… Who told you that?"
"When I have a fever, I talk nonsense, and I say all kinds of nonsense," Shen Kanyu grinned sheepishly, the wound on the corner of his lips began to ooze blood again, and he habitually took the fishy-sweet liquid into his mouth Swallow it down, and then continue to chatter, "When I was young, I once had a fever, and my brain was hot, so I ran to my brother and told me that my parents don't love you at all, they only love me, my father was very angry when he heard that. , Kicked me off the chair with one kick, scaring my illness away hahaha."
Gu Yansheng didn't know why he could laugh, and carefully confirmed: "How old were you then? You were still sick, and your father kicked you off the chair?"
"I don't remember... the child is disobedient, so he will be beaten," Shen Kanyu said, suddenly remembered something, and hurriedly grabbed Gu Yansheng's sleeve and explained, "No, no, that's not the case, I made a mistake You can't hit Tiantian, A Sheng, you can't hit her, even if she is disobedient, just tell her well. She loves you the most, if you hit her, she will be very sad, and she will be afraid You... may, will not dare to approach you."
"I know." Gu Yansheng responded warmly, while silently thinking in his heart, whether Shen Kanyu would be like this. He was beaten by his father when he was a child, and later he was afraid of his father and dared not approach him.
"She's been making trouble with you a lot lately... Is she crying a lot? Let me tell you, she just wants to eat egg yolks. Don't be angry with her, I, I..." Shen Kanyu struggled to reach out to touch the On one side of the backpack, I found a thin notebook from the inside, and was about to hand it to Gu Yansheng, but after thinking about it, I just put it in his hand, "I'll give this to you, it has the recipe of egg yolk boy, Tiantian likes it There are other dishes, and there are other dishes you like. You can make them for her."
Gu Yansheng frowned and said, "I don't know how to do it."
"You are so good, you can definitely do it well!" Shen Kanyu raised his head and smiled at him, and then found that his face was not good-looking, then scratched his hair and lowered his head, muttering, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I know you are very tired after work every day That's it... How about finding a nanny? I still have some money here... "
Gu Yansheng held down his hand that was about to look for money in the bag: "You can just go home with me, why do you need a nanny."
Home
Home is what Shen Kanyu wants most, but what does home look like? He has thought about this question more than once.
When he was a child, every time he walked home, he thought that he would see his parents and elder brother when he opened the door of the house. He always carried the wind when he walked, and wished he could grow wings and fly back.
But every time he opened the door, the smiles on his parents' faces disappeared in an instant when they saw him. My elder brother would smile at him and call him Kanyu very gently, but if he treated him well, his parents would be unhappy.
He didn't want to see his brother in trouble, and he didn't want to see his parents unhappy, so he always came home very late, and sometimes he came home early, and he stood outside the window, tiptoeing and secretly watching their family of three You will feel very happy when you are happy at home, and you will not be able to help laughing with them. Because he was young and ignorant, he felt that the best family in the world might be a family of three, there could be no more, and the extra would be a burden.
On the night of New Year's Eve, he is the most afraid to enter the house. The Spring Festival is the most beautiful festival of the year for family reunion. He can't touch the bad luck of his family at this time. So he still stood outside the window and watched them eat New Year’s Eve dinner, watch the Spring Festival Gala, and then lighted the cheap fireworks he bought in the yard, and said happy Chinese New Year to them every time he lit one, and waited until dawn, so that he would act like a thief He tiptoed into the house and hid in his bedroom to sleep for a while.
After growing up, he married Ah Sheng and gave birth to Gu Yutian. He thought that this would be the best family of three, and he should be able to have a family if he has no extra burdens.
But every time he came home with big bags and small bags, opened the door and excitedly shouted "I'm back" to the father and daughter in the room, but no one responded to him. Sitting down, he displayed all the things he bought as if talking to himself, then silently put them away and put them neatly where they should be placed.
Or he was alone at home, and when the father and daughter came back from the outside, he would look at them with a smile and say, "You are back." Also, if no one responded to him, he would not show a disappointed expression, but was in high spirits. He sneaked into the kitchen, brought out the prepared meals and called them to eat. Because he couldn't eat with them, in order to watch them for a while, he would make excuses to clean up the kitchen or mop the floor, and look at them while doing it.
He worked very hard to decorate his home very warmly, learning to cook, learn to make desserts, learn to sew clothes, and learn to repair electrical appliances. He wanted to give them a home, a home that he could put him in.
He really hopes that when Asheng and Tiantian mention "family", they can think of him in the family and admit that he is a member of the family. But no matter how hard he tried, he was still that dispensable and disgusting existence. Tian Tian never mentioned Daddy to outsiders, and A Sheng was unwilling to introduce him to friends.
He is said to be like air, probably not, air is an indispensable thing for everyone, he can't figure out what he looks like, but he finally figured out one thing, probably a place without him is home. As long as he is not around, everyone can be very fulfilled and happy.
Born to be superfluous, there is no place for him in the huge world. The idea of wanting a home is really a dream.
How can a person like him deserve a home
Only a kind and soft-hearted person like Ah Sheng would lie to him by saying take him home.
Shen Kanyu rubbed his eyes, but his hands were wet, his nasal cavity was so sore, he sucked his nose and tried to endure: "Thank you, Asheng...but I, I already have a home, so I can't go back with you. "
Gu Yansheng said: "Are your parents there? Don't go back, come home with me first."
Although Shen Kanyu didn't explain it clearly, Gu Yansheng didn't think a father who could kick a sick child to the ground could give the child a good home.
"No," Shen Kanyu shook his head stubbornly, "No, I have a family... I can't go back with you..."
His house is small, very humid, and not complete, but there is a window, where there will be sunlight and warmth, every time he sits there, he will fall asleep unconsciously, and he will sleep soundly .
At Ah Sheng's house, he often couldn't fall asleep, and would wake up in a cold sweat every now and then. Because that is not where he should be, although he really wants to stay, but he knows that someone will come and chase him away, so every day he is terrified, and he will check carefully to make sure his things are not concentrated before going to bed Put them together, and then lie on the bed and start counting the approximate day he will be kicked out with his fingers.
At his house, he doesn't have to worry so much, he can sleep very deeply and for a long time. He always feels tired and cold recently, and he just wants to have a good sleep next to that window, so that he won't be tired or tired. It will be cold.
Gu Yansheng sighed, and lightly rubbed the back of his head: "Then tell me, where else can you go? I'll bring Tiantian over there with you, is that okay?"
"No, no," Shen Kanyu shook his head desperately, tears kept falling from his eyes, and his eyelashes were soaked, but he didn't realize it, and murmured to himself, "You will be kicked out...you will Drive me out... My things haven't been put away yet... If you walk too slowly, you will be unhappy again... "
Gu Yansheng thought of the lonely suitcase in his empty bedroom, and understood that he was really ready to leave at any time, so he wiped away his tears and comforted him softly: "No one will drive you away, you Don't run around, either, okay?"
"Yes..." Shen Kanyu choked with a hoarse voice, "I know... when you are soft-hearted, you will feel that you don't hate me that much, but in fact... you hate me. Every time you see me, you will be unhappy. I I don't want to, I don't want to make you unhappy..."
"I don't hate you," Gu Yansheng interrupted him, took him into his arms again, took a deep breath and repeated, "I don't hate you, neither I nor Tiantian. Tiantian doesn't want egg yolks, but wants You, I bought her a lot of egg yolks, and she didn't even look at it, she just kept looking at the door and waiting for you to come back."
Feeling that the front of his chest was soaked, but the person in his arms didn't make any sound, Gu Yansheng kept patting his skinny back in pain, and continued to coax him softly: "I I'm also waiting for you to come back... I know you didn't bring the key when you went out, and you didn't lock the door when you were at home. You opened it with a twist from the outside. If you don't believe me, I'll take you back now, try it?"
Shen Kanyu may have been crying, sobbed suddenly, and then bit his lip to hold it back, but he couldn't help whimpering like a puppy in his throat.
Gu Yansheng patted him on the back to make him feel better, seeing that he still refused to cry, his heart softened between crying and laughing, and he couldn't help coaxing him in a coaxing tone: "Okay, okay, it's okay, it's okay to cry, but Can you drink some water and eat something before crying? The Yellow River has been dried up by you."
I haven't seen him drink a sip of water since he came in, and the fever hasn't subsided, and the tears keep flowing as if he doesn't want money. I'm really afraid that he will become dehydrated if he cries.
Shen Kanyu felt that he might have hallucinations and auditory hallucinations due to burns. How could Ah Sheng hug him, and how could he say these words to him so tenderly? He dared not even dream of such a scene.
In his life, his favorite is Gu Yansheng.
Nobody taught him how to love someone, so he's so clumsy at it that he just keeps giving him all his stuff, things that got thrown away and smashed into pieces , some are missing, and there are very few left in his hands.
But he still wants to give him all the best things in the world, and he wants to make him the happiest person in the world.
Although he always does not want what he gives.
Finally, this time he asked for it. No matter what it is for, if he wants him to go back, then he will go back.
Even if you want to drive him away later, it doesn't matter, he will remember that it is not his home, not a place for him to stay, he will pack up his things as before, and when he wants to leave, he can drag his suitcase and go , will not procrastinate to make him unhappy.
He will be obedient and obedient, will no longer mess around like before, will be quiet and not noisy, and do what he should do well.
Shen Kanyu raised his wrinkled and wet face like a kimchi from crying, and said with a twitch: "Then I... then I will go shopping, shopping for vegetables, Asheng, what do you want to eat... what? Is there anything at home... missing , I will buy it back together.”
"You still want to leave the hospital like this?" Seeing that he was finally willing to go back, Gu Yansheng heaved a sigh of relief, and reluctantly pulled a tissue over to wrap his red nose, "Exercise."
"ah?"
"Blow it out, I can't hear you clearly."
Shen Kanyu blinked, his eyes turned from blank to panicked: "...what, what do you mean? I didn't, didn't hear clearly, I'm sorry, Asheng, please say it again..."
Can't understand even blowing your nose? Gu Yansheng frowned, but still explained in a serious manner: "You just need to blow out the snot with force, and I'll help you with a piece of paper. It's uncomfortable for you to block like this."
"Ah... no, no, I, I, I suck it back," Shen Kanyu understood, and sucked his nose hard a few times, and said in an increasingly nasal voice, "Dirty things can't be taken out...it's contagious... "
"You..." Gu Yansheng choked for a moment, "You also know that it's dirty and you can't get it out, so can it stay in your body?"
Shen Kanyu nodded slightly.
"..." Who taught him this? His father who kicked him to the ground? Gu Yansheng was so angry that he had a headache, in order to avoid getting angry, he could only turn his face away and press his temple.
"Asheng, I sucked it in, it didn't get dirty, don't be angry..." Shen Kanyu stretched out his hand and gently grabbed Gu Yansheng's sleeve, took a low breath, and begged cautiously, "Speak, you talk to me...”
I want to talk to you.
None other than you.
We talked about family affairs, about "Laughing in the Sea", and about sweetness. If you don't feel sad, you can also say Ah Tong.
Don't be angry, don't be unhappy.
Gu Yansheng felt a sudden sinking in his arms, and looked back to see that Shen Kanyu had passed out from exhaustion, but he was still propping up on the bed and wanted to fall back, not daring to lean into his arms.
He hurriedly pulled him into his arms and hugged him, only to see that he was lost in consciousness, and his gray and dry lips were still slightly wriggling and talking. Gu Yansheng leaned over and listened carefully.
"Tiantian wants to eat egg yolk boy... what do you want to eat?"
"I'll buy you..."
"I went to the supermarket... get off the car and buy..."
"You go home first... It's cold outside..."