Unspeakable

Chapter 30

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When Shen Kanyu arrived at the hospital, his condition soon stabilized. He had a high pad on his back, but it was still difficult to breathe, so he could only inhale oxygen by sticking to the nasal tube.

When he woke up from his lethargy, Gu Yansheng was sitting beside his bed, gently stirring a bowl of steaming porridge.

It seems that Ah Sheng hasn't eaten for a long time, and he can't affect his appetite.

The incision throbbed intermittently, and his breathing became messy uncontrollably. He was afraid that Gu Yansheng would find that he was awake, so he could only clench his teeth silently, and subconsciously wanted to grab the bed sheet with his hands. His nails were split, and he twitched in pain whenever he touched something.

Hearing his movement, Gu Yansheng immediately put down the porridge and leaned over, gently brushing away his messy and wet forehead hair: "Shen Kanyu?"

"Uh..." Shen Kanyu originally wanted to respond to him, but he couldn't help but moaned in a low voice. He tried his best to block it in his throat, suppressing the sound to the point where it was barely audible, then raised his head and smiled at Gu Yansheng with difficulty. , said softly, "I'm making noise, A Sheng, I'm sorry, you eat first, you eat first, don't worry about me, I, I'll sit for a while... just fine."

"It didn't disturb me, call me when you wake up." Gu Yansheng helped him rock the bed a little, and adjusted the soft pillow on his back, "Where does it hurt?"

"No... no, it doesn't hurt," Shen Kanyu struggled to adjust his posture following Gu Yansheng's movements, "Ah Sheng, hurry up... eat, don't worry about me."

Gu Yansheng looked at his sweating face and sighed: "Just say it hurts, it's okay. If the pain is severe, you can use some painkillers."

Shen Kanyu opened his mouth, his lips were trembling with pain, but in the end he lowered his eyelashes and shook his head with a pale face.

He had heard that drug abuse hurt children, and he didn't have the money to buy as many drugs.

"Drink water?" Gu Yansheng had no choice but to turn around and pour him a glass of warm water.

"Thank you, thank you Asheng, I'll do it myself." Shen Kanyu hurriedly reached out to pick it up, Gu Yansheng saw that his hands were covered with scars and blood stains, and felt indescribably uncomfortable.

Shen Kanyu couldn't use his left hand, and the fingertips of his right hand trembled because of the cracked nails. He couldn't hold the cup very steadily. He finally brought it to his mouth, and couldn't control the angle, so he poured it all down his neckline.

Gu Yansheng was startled, fearing that the water would drip onto his incision, he hurriedly took the handkerchief and reached out to wipe it off for him, but probably because the action was too urgent, he subconsciously curled up and hugged his head, his body tensed and hissed and begged: " Ah Sheng, don’t hit me, don’t hit me, I don’t dare anymore, I don’t drink anymore, don’t hit me, please!!”

If it was in the past, it didn't matter if Ah Sheng was unhappy and beat him or scolded him, it didn't matter what he did, he could bear it, but now... there is still a small life in his stomach, such a small and fragile life, he must be very scared painful.

He didn't know what he did wrong again, his mind was so dizzy that he couldn't think about it one by one, he felt in a daze that A Sheng might blame him for knocking over the water, or... he didn't want him to drink water.

Is it... he can't eat and drink water. Is it a waste for him to eat and drink water

When Shen Kanyu just woke up from the operation, he saw a lunch box on the bedside of his bed. He opened it and saw that there was a bowl of hot corn radish pork ribs soup inside. It had a sweet and rich taste, and he knew it immediately It was made by his mother, the temperature of the hot soup was warm and warm, and the steaming heat made his eye sockets a little damp and hot.

He didn't know that he couldn't eat after the operation, and he didn't care about the shuddering pain from the incision. He picked up a spoon to scoop up a little soup, and sent it tremblingly to his mouth.

But before he had time to taste the soup, he was slapped from the side, and the spoon fell to the ground with a crackling sound, and the dry and fragile corners of his lips burst instantly, and the fishy-sweet liquid slowly oozed out. Flowed to the chin.

He raised his head in a daze, and saw his mother's pale face, eyes full of anger and even resentment. He opened his mouth in a daze, and murmured to his mother, but he didn't make a sound.

"Shen Kanyu. You are really a disaster."

"You have a heart attack, why didn't you tell me?"

"You did it on purpose, you wanted to kill your father, didn't you?!"

Shen Kanyu stared at her in a daze, listening to her, tears started to fall in his eyes unconsciously, big and big ones rolled down, mixed with the blood on his chin, and fell drop by drop on the white sheet.

"Are you crying? Why do you have the face to cry?! Your brother has been suffering from illness since he was a child. I have never seen him cry. Why are you crying here?!" Li Qing was so angry that he hit him again. a slap.

No, I didn't feel wronged or hurt.

Just feel, sorry.

Sorry, didn't do it well again.

Shen Kanyu opened his mouth with difficulty, the blood flowed more and more from the corner of his mouth, but he couldn't make a sound, let alone a word.

He could only raise his hand to wipe away his tears, but he couldn't finish it.

He didn't want to cry, and he didn't know why the tears kept flowing, as if the tear ducts were out of control.

So sad.

Seeing his tears streaming down more and more, Li Qing didn't hit him again, but raised his hand and knocked the bowl of hot soup to the ground, and said coldly: "I'm really dizzy because I'm making soup for you. You deserve it too?"

sorry.

Really sorry.

Knowing that you are not worthy, you still have to be affectionate.

"Shen Kanyu, don't do this, you will press the wound!" Gu Yansheng was so anxious that he didn't dare to use brute force on him, so he could only calm down and say in a deep voice, "Listen to me, I won't hit you, no matter what happens in the future I won't beat you no matter what you do, don't be afraid."

I won't hit you again in the future.

In this case, my parents also said it.

But they still hit him.

It is impossible for a bad person like him not to be taught a lesson.

He made mistakes again and again, how could he not be beaten.

Shen Kanyu still curled up with all his strength, trembling, just wanting to protect the child in his stomach.

Gu Yansheng had no choice, his very light touch would make Shen Kanyu's body tremble like an electric shock, and there was an extremely weak whimper like a frightened small animal in his throat.

He closed his eyes, sat on the edge of the bed and hugged him tightly in his arms.

He began to struggle, hissing and shouting not to hit me, I knew I was wrong, and never dared again.

He said that in the future, I don’t need to drink water or eat, and I won’t just get sick and waste money. A Sheng, I can do whatever you want me to do, including being a babysitter. I promise I won’t ask for money.

He said that I can be discharged from the hospital now, I can go shopping, I can cook the meals, I can clean Ah Sheng's house, and then I will leave.

He said that I will be very obedient in the future and will not mess around again, please don't beat me.

Listening to him talking nonsense, Gu Yansheng felt that his heart was being torn apart mercilessly, and his whole chest was suffocated. He could only gently pat his thin and stiff back, and kept repeating: I Don't hit you, don't be afraid.

After thinking for a while, he added another sentence: I am here, and no one will dare to beat you, don't be afraid.

Shen Kanyu reacted to his comforting, stopped talking nonsense, and stopped struggling, but stretched out his hand and gently grabbed his sleeve, and called out his name carefully: "A Sheng."

Gu Yansheng took his hand and stroked it comfortingly, with the other hand holding a handkerchief to wipe off the water stains on his chest: "I'm here, don't be afraid."

"A Sheng."

"I am here."

"A Sheng."

"I am here."

Gu Yansheng didn't know how many times Shen Kanyu called him, anyway, he responded patiently one by one without falling behind.

"A Sheng... I miss you..."

"I know, I'm here."

He knows he misses him.

How could he miss him? When we lived together before, he was always alone. He looked at him from a distance and didn't dare to approach him easily. Sometimes he noticed his gaze, turned his head and looked over, and he would quickly hang down. Eyelashes, drilled into his own room, like a fish that just came out of the water and spit bubbles, but was scared and shrank back to the depths of the pool.

Later, when he left home, he didn't know who was bullied or wronged by someone outside, but he was not by his side. He is a stupid fish again, he doesn't know how to talk when he comes back, he only knows how to say he misses him.

Gu Yansheng sighed, he could only be thankful that he was still willing to rely on himself. Tang Xiu said that due to the long-term psychological and physical pressure, as well as pregnancy, Shen Kanyu has shown some symptoms of autism and anxiety - he dare not communicate with others, and he will become anxious and incoherent when communicating. But if he can still be soothed, it means it's not that serious.

Besides, after Tang Xiu consulted with a psychiatrist, he specially emphasized to Gu Yansheng that Shen Kanyu is now like a glass filled with ice water. If he wants to heat up, he can only warm it up slowly with his hands, while It cannot be roasted directly on the fire, as the cup will burst directly. So don't confess to him at this time, directly say that you like him or something, the important thing now is stable company, not strong stimulation, let him slowly feel the fact that "A Sheng likes me" is the best way to go way.

Tang Xiu, who didn't believe in evil, had already tested Shen Kanyu with this question: Don't you think A Sheng already likes you very much

Shen Kanyu's reaction was not usually fierce and repulsive. He almost broke down and said to Tang Xiu: No, he won't like me. Don't say that, don't be heard, and it's over if he hears it. He will hate you. mine.

Gu Yansheng could only swallow those words into his stomach, rubbed his messy soft hair, and rubbed it to the back of his neck, and said softly: "I promise I will always be here, don't be afraid."

Shen Kanyu lay in his arms, his emotions gradually calmed down, but he was still dazed, with red eye circles and wet eyelashes, he didn't know what he was thinking.

Gu Yansheng poured another cup of warm water and brought it to his mouth. He obediently swallowed the rim of the cup to drink the water, knowing that he had been thirsty for too long and had difficulty swallowing when his throat was dry and swollen. Gu Yansheng waited for him to swallow a little with difficulty. , Feed him again, the more he drank, the smoother he was, and he finally drank half a glass of water.

Gu Yansheng looked at the wound on the corner of his mouth, and reached out to touch it lightly. He flinched and avoided it. He withdrew his hand and asked, "How did you do it here?"

Shen Kanyu lowered his head, and it took him a long time to answer in a low voice: "I accidentally bit it."

"Bite?" Gu Yansheng tried it silently, and found that even if he deliberately bit the corner of his mouth, he couldn't bite at all. He looked at the slightly swollen bruise on his face on the same side as the injured mouth, and he probably had something in his heart. own judgment.

"Are you hungry? Have some porridge?" Gu Yansheng picked up the porridge, feeling that the temperature was just right, "I'll feed you."

Shen Kanyu refused, saying that you should eat A Sheng, and that he would dirty the tableware and porridge so that he would not eat it.

Gu Yansheng felt that it would be useless to talk too much, so he first scooped up a spoonful and ate it himself, and then scooped up another spoonful and fed it to him.

Shen Kanyu looked at the porridge in a daze, and then at him.

Gu Yansheng laughed: "What's the matter, do you dislike me?"

Shen Kanyu hurriedly shook his head, opened his mouth and ate the spoonful of porridge. He hadn't tasted the taste of fresh food for a long time, and it was A Sheng who fed him. That feeling was so strange that it was unreal. He took the porridge in his mouth and tasted it slowly, even reluctant to swallow it.

"It's delicious... so sweet..." he murmured, his voice was hoarse with slight choking, the tip of his nose was sore, and his eyes were vaguely filled with water vapor. Liquid comes out.

He can bear it, he can't cry. He wasn't wronged, he wasn't afraid of pain, he just had a meal, if he cried all the time, he would definitely be hated.

"Do you like sweet food? Next time, I will ask my mother to add more corn and red dates. It will be sweeter." Gu Yansheng continued to repeat the action just now, eating a spoonful for himself and eating a spoonful for him. Shen Kanyu had a wound on the corner of his mouth, and it was difficult to swallow. He ate very slowly. He also waited patiently with a spoon, telling him to take his time and not to worry. He wants to use his own way to tell him that you are not dirty at all, and I don't dislike you.

After all, Shen Kanyu was still sick, and his mental state was very poor. Eating was a very strenuous task. While eating with a spoon in his mouth, he leaned against Gu Yansheng exhaustedly and passed out.

Gu Yansheng put down the porridge, and slowly shook the bed down. It may have been pulled to the knife, or it may be that he couldn't endure the pain as before after falling into a coma. Cold sweat broke out on the corner of his forehead, but he still habitually bit his lips tightly.

Seeing that the bloodshot was about to ooze out again, Gu Yansheng quickly pressed his lower lip: "Hey, don't bite your lip, just call out if it hurts, it's okay."

Unable to bite his lips, and because he couldn't control himself in a semi-conscious state, Shen Kanyu was tossing and turning in pain and whimpering non-stop. Gu Yansheng held his hand and whispered in his ear: "Shout out, it's okay, I'm here , you can get sick, don't bear it."

Although he didn't yell out the pain after all, he gradually fell asleep peacefully.

Wet forehead hair stuck to the pale and somewhat transparent face, the eyelashes were still trembling slightly, breathing was difficult and slow, his whole body looked like a piece of soaked white paper, it would rot if touched, so fragile Vulnerable.

He doesn't want anyone to touch him anymore.

Gu Yansheng leaned down and kissed his cold forehead lightly.

Suddenly he heard the sound of the phone vibrating, which came from Shen Kanyu's backpack. He reached for his backpack, took out his phone, and saw a text message from "Mom" displayed on the screen, he hesitated for a moment, and opened the text message.

The text message is very short, only six words: send fifty thousand yuan.

Gu Yansheng deleted the text message expressionlessly, his eyes darkened, like a bottomless vortex.