They lay in the car as the afternoon darkened.
Lin Sitao felt a little panicked at this time. He looked at He Xian, who still looked calm.
Lin Sitao thought, he has revealed all his cards. Is it too early
There is a well-known chicken soup for secret love and unrequited love, called "I love you, it has nothing to do with you." Lin Sitao has also thought many times whether his long-lasting unrequited love for He Xian has anything to do with He Xian.
Since He Xian didn't recognize him, it seemed that there was no need for him to tell her. He was expecting He Xian to recognize him, but deep down he was also afraid of what He Xian would think.
He was afraid that He would show surprise and disgust - for a person to have a crush on another person for nine or ten years was exaggerated enough in itself, not to mention that she (seemingly) was deliberately trying to get close to him.
In this sense, "I love you, it has nothing to do with you" is actually the best self-consolation. At least in my world, loving you is a simple and pure thing, which should not and will not be evaluated by anyone, not even you.
Now that Lin Sitao has exposed the secret, he will have to face He Xian's evaluation over and over again.
He Xian couldn't decide whether he thought it was sweet or heavy. There was also a more terrifying possibility that He Xian didn't care about it.
Lin Sitao decided to speak out so that two people could jointly evaluate the matter. He was willing to accept He Xian's scrutiny.
He was willing to believe He Xian. He believed that He Xian would not laugh at him.
But if He Xian looked down on him, what should he do? Lin Sitao hadn't thought it through yet. He had already lost his objectivity and calmness towards He Xian.
The warmth left after intimacy is the most comfortable and melancholy. He Xian kissed Lin Sitao's earlobe and neck again. He whispered, "I just remembered that you knew me so early..." He paused and said nothing.
Lin Sitao knew what he meant. It had always been him. His first love, his unrequited love, was always him.
After a while, He Xian said, "I really feel the great responsibility now."
Lin Sitao smiled and said, "Don't worry, I won't use this to force you to marry me."
He Xian smiled.
Lin Sitao sighed again: "You have done enough good things for me."
He Xian said, "Then you should have said it earlier, so that I can avoid embarrassing myself in front of you. When I first asked you out... I couldn't continue."
They looked at each other, and He Xian kissed Lin Sitao again. He murmured, "You are such an amazing person."
In the evening, He Xian went to the hotel to stay for one night, preparing to go back with Lin Sitao the next morning.
Lin Sitao sat with him in the hotel for a while. He asked He Xian, "You've been here for the past two days. Have you been away from socializing?"
He Xian said: "I don't want to socialize, I just want to see you."
Lin Sitao stopped talking.
He Xian wanted him to stay with him in the hotel tonight. Lin Sitao thought about it and refused: "We will return to Beijing tomorrow. I will stay at home tonight - the two old people only see me a few days a year."
He Xian held him back, and the two of them went to the bar to spend more than an hour before He Xian let him go.
After Lin Sitao left, He Xian returned to the hotel room, took a shower, and lay on the bed, but he felt more energetic the longer he lay. After Zhao Shuqing left, he felt even more alone. Now that he thought about it, it turned out that Lin Sitao had been waiting for him here for a long time. He didn't know whether to be sad or happy.
In Beijing, people are having an uneasy year.
He Yan and Cheng Duoduo had a big fight and wanted to break up before the New Year, but they suddenly became affectionate again during the Chinese New Year. The two of them were very close and prepared to fly to an island for a trip on the first day of the new year, which made Sheng Qiuhua angry again.
He Bu Tong advised her: "It's normal for young lovers to quarrel and make up. Don't mind so much and don't interfere in their affairs. Isn't it great that they are doing well now? Why are you angry?"
He Bu Tong always turned a blind eye to the affairs between the younger generations, as long as they were not too chaotic. Cheng Duoduo grew up under his care, and he loved her very much, like a half-daughter. Minor quarrels were not a big deal, as long as the two children could get married peacefully, it would be a victory.
Sheng Qiuhua felt much more miserable. She only mentioned the matter between Cheng Duoduo and the actor briefly. Cheng Duoduo nodded in agreement and said that she would let it go after hearing the lesson. Sheng Qiuhua did not expect that girls nowadays are more stubborn than each other, not to mention Cheng Duoduo, who does not care about her future mother-in-law. She immediately said with a frown: "Auntie, this is a matter between He Yan and me. To be more precise, it is my own friendship. I am an adult and I know my own limits. You don't need to worry about me. My mother is not bothered by this god."
Sheng Qiuhua was so embarrassed that she didn't know where to put her face.
When Cheng Duoduo and He Yan quarreled and broke up, she was angry; when Cheng Duoduo and He Yan reconciled, she was still angry. What's even more annoying is that she can't force He Yan and Cheng Duoduo to break up.
For He Yan's future, she could only tolerate Cheng Duoduo.
This patience made her sick. On New Year's Eve, when the whole family was having New Year's Eve dinner, Sheng Qiuhua felt dizzy. After going back, He Bu Tong complained a few words to her and went to have fun. He Yan also hurried to catch a plane. Sheng Qiuhua had a health doctor and a nanny at home, so she naturally had someone to take care of her. She felt bored lying in bed, so she got up, changed clothes and went to socialize with her wife.
He Bu Tong and He Yan were both like this, so He Xian had no need to be sincere to Sheng Qiuhua. He stayed at He Zhongcheng's place on the night of the 30th and helped him sort out the old photo albums.
He Zhongcheng was seriously ill at the end of last year and his vitality was damaged. In previous years, he would go out for a walk and have fun. He even went back to his hometown during the Spring Festival two years ago. This year, he couldn't go. He is still recuperating. The older you get, the harder it is to recover. He doesn't care about many things at home anymore, and he can't care about them anymore.
But love and hate are still very stubborn. When He Xian is in front of him, his face is always better.
"Do you know what I am most afraid of?" He Zhongcheng asked He Xian with a smile.
He Xian was looking at an old photo album. It was an album of old photos of He Zhongcheng before liberation. He thought it was lost, but he found it again when he went to his hometown the year before last.
He Xian thought for a moment and said, "Alzheimer's disease?"
He Zhongcheng laughed: "That's what I'm afraid of. I'm talking about my afterlife... I'm afraid someone will write a random biography or memoir about me."
He Xian saw what the old man was thinking: "Then why don't you write one yourself?"
He Zhongcheng looked blankly for a long while before he said, "Let's talk about it later."
He Xian spent an entire night helping him organize two photo albums, and made archives and records of them.
After finishing the arrangement, He Zhongcheng asked him gently, "Is your sister getting married? I heard from your grandmother."
He Zhongcheng likes Zhou Qin very much. When He Bu Tong and Zhou Qin just divorced, he went to see Zhou Qin in person and told her that if she had any difficulties in the future, she could come to him directly and not to worry about anything. She could come to see He Xian anytime she wanted.
When Zhou Qin remarried, He Zhongcheng gave her gifts, which made He Bu Tong quite embarrassed.
Speaking of Shen Zhouhan, He Xian couldn't help but smile: "Yes, we're getting married in May this year."
He Zhongcheng said: "Very good, very good."
After a while, he patted He Xian's hand and said, "Grandpa will be happy if you and your mother are doing well. This way you won't be lonely."