Before speaking, Zhuang Fangqin thought about Chen Jingshen's various reactions after knowing the incident, whether sad, shocked, or flustered.
But Chen Jingshen was very calm. He sat there without saying a word, until the radio station started operating and the prelude to "Summer Wind" sounded on the playground speakers, Chen Jingshen finally spoke.
"What did he say?"
what did you say...
Immediately in Zhuang Fangqin's mind was the rambunctious and arrogant young man, hunched over tiredly, looked down at the ground, and said to her casually: "Teacher, I can't read anymore."
Zhuang Fangqin refused to do it for him at first, and told him to suspend school if he couldn't do it, and come back to study after the matter was settled. Yu Fan shook his head again, unable to speak back.
Chen Jingshen didn't say anything after listening, just nodded, packed his things, picked up his schoolbag and said, "I see. Goodbye, teacher."
Zhuang Fangqin stood in the corridor of Class Seven and watched him leave.
It has been a while since school, and there are not many students on the playground track. Chen Jingshen walked towards the school gate with a bag on one shoulder, his shadow was dragged long by the setting sun, straight and lonely.
Zhuang Fangqin took off his glasses, tears welled up again.
In fact, she didn't finish her sentence.
She originally wanted to slap Yu Fan. Obviously getting better, obviously improving, why was he dragged back? But after she stood up, the slap turned into a hug again.
"Does Chen Jingshen know?" She asked.
She obviously felt Yu Fan's shock, maybe because she finally understood what she meant by "all kinds of difficulties" before, and the boy didn't speak for a long time.
It wasn't until the end that she heard a low, choking voice.
"Don't tell me, please, teacher."
Chen Jingshen went to that dilapidated old community.
Yu Fan didn't seem to really want others to see him appearing here. In the past, every time he came, he was always dragged into the room in a hurry.
But today he knocked on the door for a long time, and sat on the steps outside the door for two hours, but no one would let him in.
The stairs in the community are voice-activated lights. For a long time, there was only a faint mobile phone light in the stairwell.
Chen Jingshen sent a message and no one answered, and no one answered the phone. He set a rule for himself, and tried again after a round of Snake Eating Snake was over. In the two days of the weekend, Yu Fan had already broken his record, barely over a thousand points.
Another game ended, and Chen Jingshen quit to look at the number one in the leaderboard habitually, but found that it was his own profile picture.
But he hasn't broken Yu Fan's game record yet.
Chen Jingshen sat there for a long time, until someone went upstairs and the voice-activated light came on, and Chen Jingshen's figure startled the person. The other party shivered, and blurted out: "I'm stupid! If you're sick, sit here and don't make a sound!"
Chen Jingshen didn't speak, but was finally willing to move his fingers and switch back to WeChat to send messages according to the rules he just set.
It can't be sent anymore.
Sitting on the stairs until ten o'clock in the evening, Chen Jingshen finally got up from the steps, turned and left the community until the phone failed and turned off.
This old street is very small. Chen Jingshen walked through every shop, went to Cool Boys, and even went to the Internet cafe in Yuhe. After he ran all the places he could go, even the barbecue shop was ready. It's closed.
Chen Jingshen stood at the entrance of the Internet cafe and made another phone call, this time without even the long "beep". The female voice told him coldly and tactfully that his mobile phone number, together with his WeChat, had been packaged and thrown into the trash can.
When he got home, Chen Jingshen found that the room was bright and quiet like an uninhabited island.
He sent a message to Ji Lianyi, saying that he would be back later, and then his phone died. Now it seems that Ji Lianyi is still waiting for him.
Ji Lianyi should have paced back and forth between the room and the living room before, but now the door is wide open. She was sitting at the desk with her forehead resting on her forehead, talking on the phone tiredly with her eyes closed.
Chen Jingshen raised his hand and was about to knock on the door—
"Mom, you don't need to contact other schools anymore. Don't let Jingshen transfer to another school." Hearing her mother's inquiry on the phone, Ji Lianyi rubbed her brows and said vaguely, "It's nothing. It's just that there was a student who didn't study well before. I'm afraid He was affected, and now the student has transferred, and the matter is almost resolved... "
Seeing her son standing at the door, Ji Lianyi suddenly fell silent.
Ji Lianyi has always felt that her married life is beautiful and enviable. But the truth slapped her in the face. Her marriage was full of deception and lies, and it was already filthy.
At every moment after that, she told herself, it's okay, it doesn't matter, although she is no longer married, she still has a perfect son who is well-behaved, sensible, well-behaved, and has excellent grades. But at this moment, her perfect son stood upright in front of her, and told her in the calm tone of saying "I'm going to school":
"I'm gay."
Ji Lianyi, who was desperately trying to hide this matter, was dizzy by this sentence, and it took a few minutes to recover her voice: "No, no... you are not, you are just being led into trouble, he threatened you, he Personally admitted... His kind of child lacked family education since he was a child, so he formed that kind of twisted and perverted sexual orientation, don't... "
"He's normal, it's me who is twisted and perverted."
"No! No!" Ji Lianyi threw the cup she just bought a few days ago on the ground, smashed it to pieces, and screamed at Chen Jingshen hysterically, "It's him! It's him!! You are normal, why are you gay? Are you still afraid of him? But he has already left, you don't have to do this anymore... "
"I wrote him a confession letter and chased him for half a semester, and I brought him home, that's when you came back—"
Snapped! The crisp applause interrupted Chen Jingshen's words.
He turned his face to one side and felt no pain. He said: "He kept rejecting me, saying he wasn't gay. But I wouldn't let him go, I..."
Before he finished speaking, Ji Lianyi covered his mouth with both hands, her fingernails sank into the flesh of his cheeks, she shook her head expressionlessly: "No, those are all illusions of your adolescence, you are a normal person, depth of field , you used to be very obedient and obedient, why, why on earth... "
Chen Jingshen grabbed her wrist and moved away.
"Because whether it's abnormal or normal, I'm all alone." Chen Jingshen stated with downcast eyes, "I'm not a dog you raised."
Ji Lianyi froze in place, she couldn't use any strength in her body, she could only watch as Chen Jingshen picked up the schoolbag on the ground, turned and walked towards his room.
Before going upstairs, Chen Jingshen turned around and asked, "Do you know where he went?"
Ji Lianyi was still facing the wooden door of her room, she murmured: "Jing Shen, you are not gay."
Chen Jingshen turned and went upstairs.
Early the next morning, Chen Jingshen found that there was no sound downstairs. He pushed open the door and saw Ji Lianyi sitting on the sofa in a daze, looking like he hadn't slept all night, the table was full of medicine boxes.
The psychological condition was so bad that Ji Lianyi was quickly sent to the hospital. Chen Jingshen stayed in the hospital for two days. It was not until his grandmother arranged several escorts to take care of him that he could continue to go to school normally.
On the day Chen Jingshen arrived at the school, several people squatted at the door of the first class, and they rushed up as soon as they saw him.
"Xueba, do you know that Yu Fan dropped out of school?" Zhu Xu asked anxiously.
"He quit the WeChat group, deleted his friends, and blocked his phone call! What about you? Can you get through on the phone?" Zuo Kuan asked.
Chen Jingshen shook his head.
"Then do you know where he went?" Wang Lu'an asked with red eyes, "He didn't tell me anything."
"have no idea."
"Damn it, I've said it all, even we don't know, Xueba certainly doesn't know, you still have to come up and ask." Zuo Kuan thought for a while, "Why don't we ask your head teacher? She must know! "
"I asked, but she didn't tell me." Wang Lu'an said.
"Ask again, let's go!"
The three boys went downstairs like the wind, only Zhang Wenjing who had been silent all this time was still standing there.
Just as Chen Jingshen was about to enter the classroom, she suddenly heard her ask in a hoarse voice: "Xueba, are you and Yu Fan together..."
The class bell interrupted her. Zhang Xianjing shut her mouth, suddenly a little glad that she didn't finish her question.
"En." The ringing stopped, and she heard Chen Jingshen say.
Ji Lianyi's training situation was worse than last time. Chen Jingshen would visit her in the hospital every weekend, even though Ji Lianyi didn't want to talk to him.
Except for weekends, he would go to the old community every day after school. It's been a long time, and almost everyone in the whole building has seen him.
On this day, he stopped in front of the old black wooden door as usual, and raised his hand just as he was about to knock on the door.
"Brother, are you here to look for brother?" A little girl sat on the steps of the stairwell and asked him, holding the shoulder strap of her schoolbag with both hands.
"Hmm. Have you met him?" Chen Jingshen asked.
The little girl shook her head and said, "Brother moved away, together with that big villain."
The little girl felt very strange.
She clearly said that the eldest brother of this household has moved out, why did this brother knock on the door after listening to it
The little girl glanced down the stairs: "Brother, didn't your girlfriend and sister come with you?"
Chen Jingshen said: "What girlfriend sister?"
"It's a girlfriend!"
"No."
"Ah? That brother clearly said you have!"
Chen Jingshen's hand that knocked on the door paused in the air, turned his head and asked, "What did he say?"
"He said..." The little girl thought for a while, then suddenly opened her eyes wide and let out an "oh".
"He said, you are already someone else's boyfriend!"
right? Is that what you said? The little girl raised her head and thought for a long time before she could make a decision.
She didn't get an answer, so she looked down: "So brother, what are you... brother? What's wrong with you?"
Chen Jingshen has been tensing himself up during this time. He numbly wandered around home, school, and the old community. After a long time, he seemed to be doing some tasks. As long as the time passed and accumulated a certain number of times, he would be able to knock on the door.
All of a sudden, that vague number seemed to suddenly become clear. And the number of missions he has done has far exceeded that number, and the door in front of him is still silent and motionless.
The voice control lights went out, and the corridor fell into a dark, brief silence.
At this moment, Chen Jingshen finally accepted the fact that he couldn't find Yu Fan.
He stood there silently, raised his hand to cover his eyes, his palm was hot.
A school or class is rarely different because someone leaves.
The emotions of youth came and went quickly, coupled with the heavy schoolwork in the third year of high school, after a while, most of the people in class seven of the third year of high school got used to the days when Yu Fan was not around.
Only the few people in the back row, angry at Yu Fan for leaving without saying goodbye, cursed loudly while hiding in the toilet to smoke.
They also swore at the party that no matter whether Yu Fan would come back or not, they would be strangers from now on, and they would never say a word to him.
Later, they were pressed by the heavy atmosphere of the college entrance examination to move forward step by step, struggling and clumsily trying to learn more, and gradually stopped mentioning this person.
It's just that Yu Fan's desk was always there, just like the one next to him. Every time during the exam, Wang Luan will consciously move two more desks and chairs, and then move them back silently after the exam.
The small discussion group on WeChat was quiet for a while, and then became active again. There were two figures missing from the conversation, one was withdrawn from the group, and the other was silent.
Wang Lu'an once joked that Chen Jingshen never came to their class, and this feeling became even worse after Yu Fan dropped out of school.
Even though they were still in a school or a WeChat group, they seldom met or talked with Chen Jingshen, and he never appeared on the rostrum on Monday. They only knew that he was still the first in every exam.
Even when they learned that Chen Jingshen was sent to Jiangcheng University, everyone just boasted a few words in private, and didn't mention a word in the group.
Occasionally meeting each other in the teaching building, everyone felt that he seemed to have changed, but they couldn't tell what had changed.
But it's normal to think about it.
In this boring and boring senior year of high school, even Zhang Wenjing no longer dyed her hair, was too lazy to do those fancy nails, and lay on the desk reciting texts with a tired face all day long.
From winter to spring, Wang Lu'an and Zuo Kuan also set up a cross-class study group, whoever did better in the exam would be his father for a month. The two staggered to be each other's sons, and the father and son turned against each other again and again.
Until the end of the third year of high school, the day when I took graduation photos, it was another year of hot summer.
Zhang Wenjing reposted a lot of old-fashioned rules about graduation in various groups the night before, such as writing your name on the school uniform, using the second button to confess to someone you like, tearing up books... Zhuang Fangqin, who has been patient in the class group for many years Finally, she came out and bubbled, saying that whoever dared to tear the book, she would tear it up.
That's what I said, but the law does not blame the public. The next day, everyone still finished taking their graduation photos in the sky full of confetti. On the right side of the last row of Class 3 and 7, Wang Luan specially vacated the seat next to him, which belonged to him and his brother's romance.
At the last moment of leaving school, Zhang Wenjing returned to the classroom to get a water glass wearing a school uniform signed with the names of everyone in class seven.
She drank the water in the glass in one gulp, then picked up the marker pen, and wrote on a space specially reserved for her clothes: Yu Fan. Chen Jingshen.
She tied her ponytail back, picked up everything and got up to leave. Before leaving, she looked at the seat that had been vacant for almost a year.
Then he was slightly taken aback.
A ray of morning light slanted into the classroom.
In the empty desk, lay a clean and clear white button.
They hid in a corner of the campus, staying alone and quietly together.