Yu Fan remained motionless, dismantling every word Chen Jingshen said just now, chewing and understanding it in his mind repeatedly. I was a little dazed and out of breath, and the ups and downs of my breathing became much lighter.
He did everything that Chen Jingshen said, so the boyfriend Chen Jingshen was talking about...
Yu Fan opened his eyes blankly in a daze, and the sourness that was about to overflow had just receded, and the word "break up" stabbed him like a knife.
As long as these two words can be uttered, Yu Fan would never delete Chen Jingshen's WeChat without saying a word. That day he deleted everyone quickly and neatly, but stared blankly at Chen Jingshen's dialog box for a long time. He watched each of Chen Jingshen's voice calls come and go, and watched Chen Jingshen send many "Where are you" and "Yu Fan", which dragged on for a day and a night, until the high-speed train arrived at the station, and he got off the train with his luggage. Then drive the finger to press the delete key.
The words that could not be uttered six years ago are still stuck in his throat.
and…
Yu Fan called out "Chen Jingshen" in a low voice, confused and puzzled: "...how do you know I haven't been back?"
Chen Jingshen didn't speak. Yu Fan thought of something, the force of grabbing Chen Jingshen's clothes suddenly became a lot heavier, his knuckles were all white, he looked closely at Chen Jingshen, he clearly had an answer in his heart, but he still asked in disbelief, "Your friend Say, you go to find your boyfriend every holiday... Chen Jingshen, who are you looking for?"
Chen Jingshen remained silent.
Where to start
Said that he had to go to that old house four or five times a week in his third year of high school to do test papers outside and was driven away by the security guards
Said that after he graduated, he left contact information for the upper, lower, left, and right households in that old house, asking them to call him when they saw their neighbors come back
In other words, he has visited every school he has set aside for Yu Fan in the past few years. He is more familiar with Yu Fan's favorite school than he is with Jiang University, and then he went again. The nearest cities and towns in the surrounding area have plunged into the sea for a long time, and have not even seen the shadow of a needle.
I didn't feel it when I did it, and it seemed too heavy when I said it. The dark house was quiet for a long time, until Yu Fan was impatient and wanted to open his mouth to urge him to speak, Chen Jingshen finally spoke.
"I'm looking for you." Chen Jingshen said, "I'm waiting for you."
After the conjecture was confirmed, Yu Fan's heart felt as if he was being held by Chen Jingshen, and his heart ached with pain.
When he left, he didn't leave a word, and he didn't say a single person. Where did Chen Jingshen go to find him
Yu Fan didn't have the strength to hold on to anything anymore, so he let go of his hand and dropped it to the side, calling out in the dark: "Chen Jingshen."
"Um."
"Are you a fool?" Yu Fan's voice trembled a little.
"Just treat it as me." Chen Jingshen pinched his neck and lowered his head to kiss him, the kiss was wet and sour.
Chen Jingshen rested his fingers on Yu Fan's chin, and lifted his cheek to kiss him. Chen Jingshen kissed very deeply, stirring the tip of Yu Fan's tongue and that fang, making dense and scorching kissing sounds. Yu Fan was so kissed that his whole body became weak, he swallowed in embarrassment and shame, and was about to suffocate in the beating of his heart.
They hugged each other tightly in the narrow sofa, exchanged body temperature, and snuggled up to keep warm in the cool typhoon weather.
Chen Jingshen let go of the person, raised his finger to help Yu Fan wipe off the saliva overflowing from the corner of his mouth, pressed it against the tip of his nose, and asked for countless times: "How are you doing?"
Surrounded by alcohol and turbulent emotions, Yu Fan said in a hoarse voice, "Not good."
Chen Jingshen tilted his head down again, and asked in a low voice in the thin kisses: "Did you miss me after all these years?"
Yu Fan was so kissed that he could only give a vague "um" and then nodded. I think about it, I think about it every day, I think about it until my whole body hurts, and I dream about it in my dreams. I didn’t plan to study, but I found the notes you wrote for me, and I continued to read. I will Baidu the school you want to go to. I dare not search for your name.
"Want to break up with me?"
Yu Fan closed his eyes in pain, kissed him and said, "... I don't want to break up."
As soon as he finished speaking, the hair between his forehead was pulled back, Chen Jingshen lowered his head and kissed his eyelids, the tip of his nose, and then kissed his lips.
It's all settled. With a calm voice and sore eyes, Chen Jingshen hummed lightly and said, "Then I'll wait."
After drinking, although Yu Fan's mind is still clear, his body is honestly weak at all. Even when Chen Jingshen's hand reached into his clothes and pressed warmly on his stomach, his reaction was just a jerk, and he bit Chen Jingshen's lips in a vain manner.
"After drinking, does your stomach feel bad?" Chen Jingshen asked him.
The skin pressed by Chen Jingshen suddenly went numb, and then spread around. Yu Fan grabbed his wrist and wanted to move it away, but then remembered that his fingers were frighteningly cold when the man had the audacity to strangle his neck just now.
Yu Fan shook his head, and said, "Chen Jingshen, how long have you been standing outside the door?"
"Not long. Three or four hours." After Chen Jingshen finished speaking, there was a gust of wind and rain outside the window.
"..."
Yu Fan was speechless for a while, then frowned, "Will you tell me when you're here?"
"You didn't pass my WeChat."
"...Then you can't make a phone call??" Yu Fan clenched his hands into fists, and punched Chen Jingshen's hand in his clothes weakly, "Get up."
When the light was turned on, Yu Fan's eyes were pierced by the light, and he closed his eyes dryly, fully awake, belatedly feeling ashamed.
Forget it in the past, a person in his twenties, why the hell is he still crying like this...
Never drink again.
Feeling the redness and swelling of his eyes, Yu Fan looked down at the ground, turned on the air conditioner, bypassed Chen Jingshen, walked to the closet, rummaged through it, picked out the T-shirt he bought specially for pajamas, and looked back without looking back. Throw: "Look at the fit, the towels and toothbrushes are all in the bathroom cabinet."
"Hmm." The person behind asked, "Is there a refrigerator?"
Facing the closet, Yu Fan pointed back, "There."
Chen Jingshen didn't know what he was doing, when various voices rang out from behind, Yu Fan stood stiffly for a long time, just impatient, the bathroom door finally closed with a click.
Yu Fan breathed a sigh of relief, just as he turned his head, the bathroom door creaked open again, his nerves jumped, and he immediately faced the closet again.
"Which side is the hot water?" Chen Jingshen asked.
"left."
"Where do I throw my dirty clothes?"
"The washing machine is outside."
"Do you have slippers?"
"No, wash with bare feet."
"I… "
"Chen Jingshen, why are you so troublesome?" Yu Fan gritted his teeth.
"The last question." Chen Jingshen looked at the person whose back was facing him, "Where should I sleep after washing?"
"..."
"What nonsense are you asking? The sofa..." Yu Fan stared at the clothes in front of him, and continued expressionlessly, "Can you sleep? Go upstairs and sleep."
The bathroom door closed, and Yu Fan went to the sofa to get his cell phone, which was vibrated countless times by his hands just now, all of which were Wang Yue and the others reporting the news of their arrival home to him.
Yu Fan replied casually, his eyes turned to the messy sofa.
His ears were hot again, he rubbed his face, tidied up his things, and turned to go upstairs.
Then, before his mind was stunned by the aftereffect of alcohol, he took down a certain photo on the black felt board and hid it in the cabinet.
Chen Jingshen was quiet when he came out of the shower.
He went upstairs quietly, subconsciously bent his back when he reached the last step, and then slowly straightened up. The height of the second floor was so low that he could feel his hair brushing against the top of the wall.
The space on the second floor is smaller, and the atmosphere of life on the first floor is heavier. There are two monitors on the table, one big and one small, the power button is still on, it can be seen that the owner has left it off for a long time, and there is a black desk lamp next to it. The DSLR and lens are well placed in a glass cabinet, next to a simple black felt board, on which many photos are hung.
The bed took up most of the space on this floor, and it seemed to be two meters long. There was a person rolled in the dark blue sheet, sleeping on the right side with his back facing him, leaving half of the space for him.
Feeling that the bed beside him was sinking deeply, Yu Fan flicked his phone for a moment before continuing to scroll down the page.
"Yu Fan." The people behind him called him.
"explain."
There was no sound, only the hair was scratched twice.
Yu Fan said, "If you don't want your hands, you can continue."
So the hair was let go, the ears were touched, Yu Fan put down the phone and turned his head: "Chen Jingshen, are you annoying..."
"Close your eyes."
Yu Fan did it subconsciously, and the voice and movement stopped abruptly.
The cold towel was pressed against his eyelids, making his fingers curl up in the cold.
"Apply it for a while, or it will be swollen tomorrow." Chen Jingshen said.
"… oh."
It was the first time for Yu Fan to do this kind of thing. Without his vision, he unconsciously lay on his back with his hands clasped on his stomach, looking very peaceful.
Chen Jingshen looked at his posture for a while, pressed his hand on the towel, and couldn't help turning his face.
"Chen Jingshen?" Yu Fan frowned sensitively, "What are you laughing at?"
"without."
"No fart." Yu Fan pushed his wrist, "Release your hand, I..."
Someone lowered his head and touched his lips, Yu Fan froze and immediately lost his voice.
"Doesn't it feel small to live here?" Chen Jingshen lowered his eyes and looked at him very carefully, "I almost touched the top of the wall when I raised my head."
"I live not you." Yu Fan said stiffly.
"But I'm here now."
"..."
Yu Fan’s words, “You’ll get out at dawn, get out of there at dawn” lingered around in his mouth, but he couldn’t say it all the time, and the person next to him suddenly said, “But this house looks familiar to me.”
Yu Fan was puzzled: "Where does it look familiar?"
"Don't you think," Chen Jingshen stated calmly, "it's a bit like my previous room..."
Yu Fan suddenly raised his hand to cover his mouth, and pressed the word "like" back abruptly.
"Chen Jingshen, talk nonsense again." The red ear tips of the person next to him were sticking out of his hair, and his voice was colder than a typhoon day, "Get out at dawn."
The next day, Wang Yue realized that something was wrong with the little boy in her studio.
She was still wearing a mask, her hair was messier than usual, and her eyes were slightly swollen.
The most important thing is that when she went downstairs in the middle, she just heard him on the phone—
"I'm at work, can't you send me a message?... Forget it, I'm passing now, you're so annoying, Chen Jingshen."
"A charger? Don't I have one next to my bed?"
Yu Fan scratched his hair, leaned back on the chair and thought for a while, "See if there is a computer cabinet, or a mirror cabinet."
The sound of Chen Jingshen getting out of bed and walking around came from the other end of the phone, and Yu Fan took advantage of the gap and closed his eyes for a moment to squint.
I went to bed too late last night, woke up in the morning and wanted to stay in bed, but when I found myself being hugged, I woke up with fright, and when I saw that it was Chen Jingshen, I became dizzy again... The whole morning was a mess.
The sound of the cabinet being pulled open aroused a certain nerve in Yu Fan. He opened his eyes suddenly: "Wait - don't move the first computer cabinet!!"
There was silence on the phone for a while.
Chen Jingshen stared at a certain photo that was randomly stuffed into the cabinet last night, and pinched it to look: "It has moved."
"..."
beep-
Yu Fan hung up the phone.
At lunch time, the black mask was finally taken off. Wang Yue stared at his broken lips and his mournful expression, and finally couldn't help asking: "Fanbao, are you okay?"
Yu Fan was ashamed and said, "It's okay."
The phone on the table vibrated, and Yu Fan picked it up to look at it.
[S applied to add you as a friend, additional news: The charger was found.]
The name was still the same, but the profile picture turned into a white phantom in the amusement park.
It was the photo of Chen Jingshen that he had hidden for many years.
Wang Yue just wanted to say that you look bad and eat more, but when she looked up, she saw Yu Fan holding up his mobile phone, his face flushed, and he snapped the disposable chopsticks in his hand.